My mom sent this the other day....I had to laugh at that last one!!!
THINGS THAT CAN AGGRAVATE YOU AT CHURCH10
1. People who over use the tambourine. Everybody isn't meant to beat it. When you don't do it right it is truly aggravating and a nuisance. Keep still and sing like everybody else during the slow songs.
2. People who fake the Spirit. Just because your friend felt the touch don't mean you did too. If you're running around the church and you stop out of breath after going only half way around we know you haven't been touched. SIT DOWN!
3. People who constantly holler something to the pastor all during the message. We don't need a comment from you after every sentence he makes. We know he's 'preaching' and we know he ' s talking to you. 'SHUT UP' so I can hear him talk! to me too.
4. People who constantly go to the bathroom. Nobody has to use the bathroom four times a service and you're clearly not on a date. SIT YOUR BEHIND DOWN.
5. People who can't control their kids. If little Man-Man is running all up and down the aisle and going back and forth to the bathroom then you need to BEAT HIS BUTT!!!
6. People who take
My mom sent this the other day....I had to laugh at that last one!!!
THINGS THAT CAN AGGRAVATE YOU AT CHURCH10
1. People who over use the tambourine. Everybody isn't meant to beat it. When you don't do it right it is truly aggravating and a nuisance. Keep still and sing like everybody else during the slow songs.
2. People who fake the Spirit. Just because your friend felt the touch don't mean you did too. If you're running around the church and you stop out of breath after going only half way around we know you haven't been touched. SIT DOWN!
3. People who constantly holler something to the pastor all during the message. We don't need a comment from you after every sentence he makes. We know he's 'preaching' and we know he ' s talking to you. 'SHUT UP' so I can hear him talk! to me too.
4. People who constantly go to the bathroom. Nobody has to use the bathroom four times a service and you're clearly not on a date. SIT YOUR BEHIND DOWN.
5. People who can't control their kids. If little Man-Man is running all up and down the aisle and going back and forth to the bathroom then you need to BEAT HIS BUTT!!!
6. People who take
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OMG my sides hurt!!! ditto to #10 as well
One thing that aggravates me in church is when the church announcements last almost as long as the sermon. You don't have to read EVERYTHING on the flyer!!!
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
Bee, you are too much
Living my life like it's GOLDEN!!
LOL -- whoever wrote this must have had it!
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Men who get saved in their thirties and come to church to find a nice wife to abuse and use and run over thinking that she wont leave them!
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Too funny Bumble! I enjoyed that! #10 is something I see too much in church. A very good friend of mine was guilty of doing that until someone bought it to her attention, she stepped it up a little, but not much! Shame, shame, shame!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
[quote="Bumblebeekee"]My mom sent this the other day....I had to laugh at that last one!!!
THINGS THAT CAN AGGRAVATE YOU AT CHURCH10
2. People who fake the Spirit. Just because your friend felt the touch don't mean you did too. If you're running around the church and you stop out of breath after going only half way around we know you haven't been touched. SIT DOWN!
And the Church said, 'AMEN'.
God Loves everyone, but prefers 'fruits of the spirit' over 'religious nuts!'
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We had a woman who faked the spirit, at my old church, every Sunday!!! It was funny because she was like 450+ lbs., and ALL the ushers had to catch her! And the minute church let out, she was the meanest lady, for no apparent reason! Just down right wicked! She'd always mess with the kids, even if they were in their own world playing somewhere, she'd interrupt and tell them to "stop". Like kids are going to stand still & do nothing. That's weird to me how she can be so holy, but can't stand to see children playing. Not causing trouble, just playing.
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Delight yourself also in the Lord & He shall give you all the desires of your heart.-Psalm 37:4
#1-Fo' real!! LOL
#2-Got one at my church! :o
#4-especially teens! it is like teens gone wild at my church-leaving out to go to the bathroom doing God knows WHAT!! (condoms have been found in the toilets... :( so trifling and nasty)
#5-true! and sometimes it ain't Lil Man-Man...sometimes it is Big Man-man... LOL
#8-AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! won't serve on any committes to plan nothing, but come to EVERYTHING and then talk negative!!
Number 5. How is it folks come to church in sweats and whatever they found on the floor but if you call and invite them to a party they show up in their finery! I think that one has gotten out of hand. I think It was meant for people who had nothing else to wear no for those who chose to dress down.
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ROTFL!!!!! So True!
Remember To Always Be Fabulous!!!
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[quote="soon2bmsj"]#4-especially teens! it is like teens gone wild at my church-leaving out to go to the bathroom doing God knows WHAT!! (condoms have been found in the toilets... :( so trifling and nasty[/quote]
At church???!!!! (Like Michael Baisden says) Noooooooooooooo!
Say it ain't so!
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OMG!!! ROTFL!!!
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Lawd hammercy Cinny 450+ pounds & fake shouting -- too funny!!!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
OK I'm a problem parent. I am always on a committee and my chid dresses WAY better than we do at church, but she dances ballet in the aisles when hymns are sung. I used to try to quietly get her to stay in the pews but I don't anymore. I just ignore her and when the hymn is over she sits down like a little angel. Otherwise she is very quiet in church. She loves it!
I'm Episcopalian so no tambourines or hollering happens. WE had a lady who started coming to church and would jump up and shout AMEN! while the priest said his sermon. After the first collective gasp, no said anything about it and she did it for months. Almost a year later I overheard someone from the choir telling her to say amen but not to jump up! What??? Choir lady talked about her at EVERY Committee meeting and at every meeting we told her to let that woman worship however she wanted. lol. People are so fake.
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I know it ain't my business, but this does bother me. I used to go to a "young" church meaning that even though it was new, it was over like 90% college students.......
.....But ummmmm....How you come to church dressed in Versace and the latest styles and you got the PO' FACE when it comes to the tithe and the offering sitting there twiddling your thumbs! You was JUST dancin & shoutin' but you got back in your pew quick when its time to offer......Sure many of them were blessed not to work and so they don't have a tithe, but dag drop in an offering or something! At first I thought I was being nosy but I watched a few of them and noticed that these kids get a little something something from somebody....Can't God get a love offering for providing you with MORE THAN ENOUGH so you can look good?
AND PLEASE tell the GAY men to come on out so we can stop WONDERING? You dress better than all the women IN the church. You SING better than all the women in the church, you even take care of the little kids better than the women in the church, so ummmm can you come out NOW before you feel so guilty that you catch the spirit and now we got to clear the church to get that demon out? FOR REAL....I am tired of it...God still loves you!
And if you too embarrassed to go to the front when they do the alter call just quit it....Stop hesitating, ain't nobody stuttin you anyways, and stop fakin. You know you need prayer cause your boyfriend/husband hit you, or you know you gay so you want somebody to love you, or you know you a H*$, and like to sleep with everyone and you don't know why....so come on to the front, get on your knees and let one of the church mothers pray over you. IF you stretch out and we can see your panties (cause now you don't care), someone will cover you up with a cloth.....! God is sill good, and somebody gone pray for you chile! We all need JESUS anyways.....!
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Bumblebee, you are a mess! LOL!
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I hear you bumble. We have professional people in our church who give no more than $50 a year. I have seen them pass the tray and not offer anything then go to brunch after service. Everyone has their own priorities, I guess.
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So true! The minister of music is almost always gay and just as evil as Lucifer himself. LOL
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[quote="michelerdh2005"]So true! The minister of music is almost always gay and just as evil as Lucifer himself. LOL
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Ours is almost gay too but as sweet as sugar candy. I mean the man is a seamstress and you should see the outfits he makes for himself - beautiful but I believe his trousers could do with a little space, they are way too tight for my liking!
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ROTFLMBO!!!!!! Lawd hammercy, the sisterhood is off da hook! Too funny!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
[quote="DaughterRhonda"]ROTFLMBO!!!!!! Lawd hammercy, the sisterhood is off da hook! Too funny!
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Ditto! LMAO!!!!!!!!!! yall are on a roll... :0
[quote="Rosetta"]I hear you bumble. We have professional people in our church who give no more than $50 a year. I have seen them pass the tray and not offer anything then go to brunch after service. Everyone has their own priorities, I guess.
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It's true. Those things happen, but they will have do answer to God about that. All we can do is pray for them and watch what we do.
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Speaking of catching the spirit,
If you know that you catch the Spirit as fast as you catch a cold, do NOT apply to be on the USHER board...You can't usher no-body no where cause you and the rest of the board are stretched out on the floor. So now I gots to usher MY-self to my OWN seat (I know I was late but it probably was my DH fault it always is and I'm sticking with that story-LOL)......But please, at my old church we were down to 2 ACTIVE ushers one Sunday cause the rest of them was just in the spirit runnin' 'round chile. I ain't mad but we need people that can do their job....You need to be on the Spirit Board then...
BTW, this was actually a point in the church member's meeting! No kidding!
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[quote="Bumblebeekee"]Speaking of catching the spirit,
If you know that you catch the Spirit as fast as you catch a cold, do NOT apply to be on the USHER board...You can't usher no-body no where cause you and the rest of the board are stretched out on the floor. So now I gots to usher MY-self to my OWN seat (I know I was late but it probably was my DH fault it always is and I'm sticking with that story-LOL)......But please, at my old church we were down to 2 ACTIVE ushers one Sunday cause the rest of them was just in the spirit runnin' 'round chile. I ain't mad but we need people that can do their job....You need to be on the Spirit Board then...
BTW, this was actually a point in the church member's meeting! No kidding!
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ROTFLMAO-you are toooooooooooooooo funny girl!!!!!!!!
The fact that I actually witnessed this is even crazier!
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