Groomsmen?

Welcome to the site Mrs 080908! You are describing a simalir problems vibrides talk about on the boards. Why don't you let your groomsmen know that you're concerned and need to see more effort from him. Give him a week or so to make a change and if he doesn't, then he can't blame you for changing his status from participant to guest.

Welcome Mrs080908!

With these weddings, the only one who will have it together is YOU! Don't even expect people to fall in line right away! As a man, they are likely to drag their feet, so I wouldn't devote too many brain cells to it right now. You have plenty of time, unlike the Bridesmaids dresses where time is limited. I would go ahead and talk to him, but don't threaten to drop him. He may be going through something right now, and you don't want to feel silly. I've had people go MIA on me only to find out they had a medical emergency with themselves or loved one, or I even learned a close friend of mine was a little jealous, and she just sat back a little, but she came back around. In the meantime I'm all pissed and there my friends were suffering alone, so lets not jump to conclusions in the meantime:)

We see this a lot on this site, but most people come back around. You still have a few months....Give it time.
But just understand, no one is really going to be as active or as excited enough for you as the bride and groom (sometimes the groom goes MIA mentally too) so with that understanding, be the leader and queen you are and sit back, wait for things to pan out, and see.

I ditto 100% what Bumble said! now if it gets to be about June and he is still MIA-then get concerned because obviously he is not too interested in participating so let him know there is a lovely seat assigned to him in the audience!

You've received great advice in what both Bumble and Soon has said. You have plenty of time and he may see it the same way. Men are babies, well, some of them anyway. He may feels that he has plenty of time to take care of his tux since the wedding is in August. Now, by the end of June, if nothing still happens, then I would be concerned and talk to him calmly, but you really have nothing to worry about just yet.

Congrats on your big day and welcome to the sisterhood.

Welcome Mrs080908. Unfortunately, your story is all too familiar when it comes to wedding planning. Be grateful its a groomsmen acting up and not a bridesmaid because as Bumble eluded to, getting fitted for a tux doesn't require nearly as much time in advance as does a bridesmaid dress. If your wedding is in August he really does have some time. Give it to mid May before you decide to remove/replace him.

Like the other ladies have said, NO ONE is going to be as excited or active as you think they should because although your day is important and friends want to be there beside you in support, life doesn't stop in the meantime and everyone's priorities will shift from time to time throughout your planning. Speak to him in a couple of weeks, offering him a chance to step down without any hard feelings. If he sounds shaky when approached then give him a date he must be fitted by and let him know that if he doesn't follow through, you will need to make other arrangements but would still love for him to come and celebrate the day with you.

FH still has one groomsman that didnt get his tux yet and we did know that he was going thru some financial situations and he told FH he was getting everything last week and still nothing, so he is now out. FH just got his suit and all his accessories 2 weeks ago. It drove me crazy, he figured since it was on hold that he could wait till the last minute. So I agree with the ladies, give him some time to come around then later on if still nothing then you handle it from there.

Welcome Mrs080908,
Looks like you're received all the advice you need ;)
Great advice ladies.. I'll keep that in mind. I always find myself having to tone down my excitement because nobody is as excited as FH and I. Lol

That's the ticket. You handled it the right way. Continue your planning!!!

[quote="Shy41208"]FH still has one groomsman that didnt get his tux yet and we did know that he was going thru some financial situations and he told FH he was getting everything last week and still nothing, so he is now out. FH just got his suit and all his accessories 2 weeks ago. It drove me crazy, he figured since it was on hold that he could wait till the last minute. So I agree with the ladies, give him some time to come around then later on if still nothing then you handle it from there.
[/quote]

You had to do what you had to do with that one, especially since you are less than 2 weeks away now. And you can't help him. Mrs080908, I think the Tuxes can be ready up to 3 days before the wedding, but who wants to wait that close to see? Especially if you need to decide on a replacement. But always have a backup plan so if you do have to do what Shy did, everything will still be smooth. Either way the wedding is happening anyways, no matter who drags their feet, hesitates, does or doesn't show up...It doesn't matter.

I'm so scared of my man's GM's falling through on getting tuxes that I have decided for them to just use whatever black suits they may have while we purchase their ties. All black suits look the same to me anyway.

Uh, Butter, what happened to the tan suits? Did you change your mind?

I'm just trying to avoid as much drama and procrastination as possible. All of the guys have a black suit in their closets, so I'm going to roll with it.

Butterbean you should ask to see the suit they plan to wear beforehand. You really don't want any surprises. You could end up with one person wearing a black satin suit, another in black tweed and another sporting black polyester. Wouldn't be a good look.

[quote="pamcrow"]Butterbean you should ask to see the suit they plan to wear beforehand. You really don't want any surprises. You could end up with one person wearing a black satin suit, another in black tweed and another sporting black polyester. Wouldn't be a good look.
[/quote]

And the people said Amen. Unfortunately, sometimes drama can't be avoided, but you must remember that this is your wedding. Don't let anyone compromise your wishes for your own wedding. All the best Butterbean!!!!

Butterbean,
I agree with Pamcrow. Try as hard as possible to get the guys uniformed. Think about your pictures. Think about how much time and effort you've put into planning and making this day special for you and FH. I say "DONT COMPROMISE"

[quote="VIPrincessBride"]Uh, Butter, what happened to the tan suits? Did you change your mind?
[/quote]

LOL I got the biggest eyeroll from FH after he tried on a tan suit and I told him that I liked him better in black.

None of them are going to come out looking like John Witherspoon. LOL I know them and seen all but his friend in their black suits before. It's really not that big of a deal and it would take a load off our plates.

Butterbean, I must admit that I am with Pamcrow on this one. If you choose to go with the all black suit to avoid drama on the part of your GMs, then by all means, have a getting to know you party and ask them to bring their suits with them. You really cannot afford any surprises on your wedding day. You do want them to be somewhat uniformed so that your pictures could come out well. So don't feel embarassed about asking, just ask and this will be a huge check off your list. Keep a smile on your face and when that fails, try a margarita!!!

Thanks for the advices Groomsmen will love it your advices...

[quote="Mrs080908"]Well we ended having to pay for the tux of 1 of the GM, Me and DH took \\most of the tuxes back ourselves but we recently found out the GM whose tux we paid for never returned his tux.
Butterbean definitely take a look at their suits the last thing you are gonna want is to have someone up their with a suit that they call black but you would call ashy. It will not be a good look and you want everything to be perfect on your day.[/quote]
Hi Guys! I'm new, so bear with me!
I can't believe one of the groomsmen didn't return his tux! Why didn't HE have to pay for it?? Outfitting and wrangling the groomsmen is the grooms responsibility isn't it? I am making sure my FH gets his boys in CHECK. I sure don't want to pay for nothin more than I got to.
I saw this pic and they just let the groomsmen wear whatever suit they had handy. I just can't wrap my mind around it. I just can't.
[img]http://www.thebridescafe.com/images/content/190.lindsey&avi.8.16.jpg[/img]

Why does the only black amn in that pic wearing the grey suit! Why???? Maybe no one told him they were wearing navy or black suits. Brother man just didn't get the memo! lol

About that groomsmen picture, it depends on how formal the wedding is going to be. For an informal wedding, those mismatching suits actually works in my opinion and I can see a grey theme within the picture. It makes me want to see the entire wedding party.  I think that it's a pleasent picture, overall.
I've also found this collage were the guys wore different suits (top right corner) as well as the bridesmaids. While their outfits weren't matching, they compliment their surroundings just fine in these pictures.[img]http://westaussiewedding.typepad.com/.a/6a00e554a1ee5888340115704d9576970c-500wi[/img]
Alright, this is the first time I've sat down and compared the black suits my guys wore. Hubby, on his own, got his boys together and rented suits while my cousin (second from the right) had to come in at the last minute as a replacement with something from his own closet. I must say that my cousin's suit looked better than the others, but it didn't stand out so much that people questioned it. Other than that, I was just glad that they made it on time and were in good spirits.
[img]http://i50.tinypic.com/24quydy.jpg[/img]
 

Butter your guys look very uniform. I would not notice that thier suits weren't identical at all. All the blacks are black. I get what you are saying about informal weddings. They are meant to be casual and free and loose. I didn't even THINK about a casual wedding. I'm a black or white tie kinda gal ;)
[i]In your casual wedding photo whille all the suits are different shades they all seem to be the same KIND of suit-- single breasted in a 50s style. In that way they are uniform. [/i]It looks really hodgepoge in Mistee's photo.

yeah they just look random to me too. It looks like just before the wedding they asked people to stand up and join in the fun!

Anyway, you have plenty of time and he may see it the same way. Men are babies, well, some of them anyway.

UR 2 funny Carollove.

Well, If he is notinterested in participating so let him know there is a lovely seat assigned to him in the audience.

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