Ladies,
Help me out! My FH is complaining about me not spending quality time with him. I try to as much as possible but I admit not as much as I should, but I try to explain to him we only have just under 4 month left to plan our wedding and right now we do not have a wedding planner. I knew since August 2007 that we were getting married but at time I did not apply myself as much as I should have, now I have a lot of things to do and he does not want to work with me. I try to explain to him that I cant get the time back so to work with me but he continue to complain about the time that we are not spending together. We have the rest of our lives to spend together, all Im asking for is 4 more months of no complaining. The truth is I resigned from my job December 23, 2007 becouse I had to relocate. He says that was the time I should of took advantage of the wedding planning. I agree but whats done is done and I just need to take advantage of the time we have now. What should I do? He wont Shut up.
Ladies,
Help me out! My FH is complaining about me not spending quality time with him. I try to as much as possible but I admit not as much as I should, but I try to explain to him we only have just under 4 month left to plan our wedding and right now we do not have a wedding planner. I knew since August 2007 that we were getting married but at time I did not apply myself as much as I should have, now I have a lot of things to do and he does not want to work with me. I try to explain to him that I cant get the time back so to work with me but he continue to complain about the time that we are not spending together. We have the rest of our lives to spend together, all Im asking for is 4 more months of no complaining. The truth is I resigned from my job December 23, 2007 becouse I had to relocate. He says that was the time I should of took advantage of the wedding planning. I agree but whats done is done and I just need to take advantage of the time we have now. What should I do? He wont Shut up.
Sweetie, welcome to all of our nightmares. All of us went to exactly what you're going through or are still going through it. As for me Diva, my FH doesn't live in the same state as I, but when he comes home to me or I go to him (which is often), I make myself some Margaritas or pour myself a chilled glass of champagne (Always have champagne in the fridge girl) and I head to the bathroom. In the meantime, he's still talking. I'm taking slow sips and still ignoring. I run myself a very nice bubble bath and I still go on ignoring. I take the pitcher of Marguarita with me in the bathroom and leave the door open, still sipping and ignoring (FH hates if I close the door while he's still talking to me). Then, after a few Marguaritas and about half an hour in the tub, I slink out of the water and walk in the bedroom and have a very mellow conversation with FH, by which time, I'm no longer upset. I'm in bed and I know that I now have his full attention. That's when I very slowly explain my frustrations to him. Everything ~ but calmly. Then we pray, and go to sleep wrapped in each other's love.
Girl, I know that you've got a lot going on, but your FH is partially right, you must create time for him. Do some impromtu dinners. Meet each other across town for lunch, while you're running wedding errands and don't forget "date night". It's very important to still have "date night". He'll be happy and out of your hair and you'll have the peace and quiet to continue planning your wedding.
[quote="Ginoue"]Girl, I know that you've got a lot going on, but your FH is partially right, you must create time for him. Do some impromtu dinners. Meet each other across town for lunch, while you're running wedding errands and don't forget "date night". It's very important to still have "date night". He'll be happy and out of your hair and you'll have the peace and quiet to continue planning your wedding.
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Well said Ginoue! Sensation planning a wedding can be very stresssful, but with a little creativity everyone can be happy! All the best my sister!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Hey Happy ...Do you have a calendar specifically used for the day up to the wedding? If not, grab a pocket one from the dollar store and schedule something for everyday. One day a week schedule a "no wedding planning day" and do just that the whole day, on that day plan to spend some one on one with FH, then on the rest of the days still plan to spend a few hours with FH. Planning and doing a wedding w/o a WC is very stressfull, and I know you need a break sometimes too. Nobody has to know that "special times" are planned, just you. Girl I have a schedule for everyday of the week to keep me in line. 6:30a #2 is in the bathroom, 6:45a #3 is in the bathroom, 7:00a #1 goes in ...(in that order for a reason!). If dinner is not done by 6:30p, I can't watch CSI by 7p ...my point is every minute of my day is planned, that way I know if I didn't do something ..and trust we/I do get off schedule ...but what I'm saying is give him a minute or two everyday. Plus you know they say when you put in work in the bedroom it relieves stress ...you may get up and throw a whole rack of DIYs together after he passes out! LOL
BTW---#1, #2, and #3 are the kids, I don't even use names no more, it's easier to call out a number! LOL
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Turiya you are too funny!!!! LOL!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Sensation please don't lose focus. Yes you are planning a wedding but more importantly you are preparing for a marriage. Thinking you have the rest of your lives to do what he is crying out for now will only present problems that could have been avoided. Maybe putting in time with him will motivate him to help you with the planning. Putting in quality time will make him more eager to meet you at the altar. Like Rhony suggested, get creative. This could be a win win situation for the both of you.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
sensation I agree with the other ladies...men are like children...T made a good suggestion on having a "no wedding planning day"...when I started to get stress that is exactly what I did and it helped me refocus (and get some rest :)!!
You ladies are awesome!!!
Thanks ladies for all the wonderful advise. I did as Turiya said and took a no wedding planning day to spend with FH we talked about alot of things about our relationship and I must say it felt pretty good. Today Im back to wedding planning and I must say I do not feel as stressed as I did before I took the day off. I was literally going at it non stop and I did not even realize it. Thanks ladies.
You're more than welcome little sister