Teresa,
I had that same problem with one of my girls. I asked her in March 07 to be in the wedding and said that we would be ordering the dresses at the end of August. She said ok, she would be on it. I told my girls that early cause i know how they are, even though they just got their dresses in December. (best time to go for quick delivery return)
well after that we didnt speak for a while cause we both had a lot going on until september. so i made sure again that she would still get her dress. all my girls got their orders in except her. for a while she always talked about it and i gave her a deadline, and called her in between the day i told her and the deadline date, no answer no call back. so now when i talk to her, i dont even mention anything about it or the whole wedding in general.
Back to the subject. I dont think you are being harsh, like my best friend told me, it's your day and you have to be happy. Dont worry about their feelings cause they are not doing what they are supposed to as your bridesmaid. Tell them straight like that, if they dont get them, they aint in it. Send them an invite if you still want.
:-) and that be it. you dont have time to chase and be stressed
[quote="Teresa1167"]Can u believe 3 bridesmaid have yet to order there dresses and my wedding is in june!!! I am so upset also my maid of honor has yet to go in as well.I have been engaged since August. I can't understand it i sent them an email that if they dont get in by saturday they will be replaced!! Do u think that is being harsh ??? I can't start on programs and things because they taking they time!!!What do u think I should u do ladies ??
[/quote]
push and prod 'em! it is sad that on top of everything else you are dealing with you have to do this, but your wedding is really not important to anyone but YOU!!!!! (in their eyes) been there and done that myself...my wedding is 6 wks away and my party are "finally" getting their stuff together...check this, my moh dress has been back in the shop since Nov. and guess when she actually went in for her first fitting??? YESTERDAY!!!!!!!!! yep 6 weeks before the wedding! :( and we had a groomsmen come out of the wood work on Sat. (keep in mind FH has been trying to get in contact with him since Nov) him: say dawg, what's up with the wedding, what do I need to do??? now FH is like what can we do to add so and so... me: NOT A D**N THANG!! he should have had his azz in gear before now! so yes, this stress you are going thru is the norm...I cannot WAIT for my girls to get married...I have already put it in my memory bank to give them a dose of their own medicine!!!!!
I have one better for you. FH and I decided to push the wedding back from Feb. 08 to April 08. So FH's sister decided she wasn't going to be able to be in the wedding b/c she couldn't make it to get fitted. So it was cool, we moved on without her, so this chick had the nerve to send me an email last week bombing me out b/c I didn't "reask" her to be apart of the wedding party. WTF????? I had to pray hard before responding to her b/c had i responded out of emotions, it would have been the beginning of many feuds between our families. Of course I did not and Will not reask her or anyone for that matter to be apart of the wedding especially when it was their choice not drop out.
[quote="djimonsmom"]I have one better for you. FH and I decided to push the wedding back from Feb. 08 to April 08. So FH's sister decided she wasn't going to be able to be in the wedding b/c she couldn't make it to get fitted. So it was cool, we moved on without her, so this chick had the nerve to send me an email last week bombing me out b/c I didn't "reask" her to be apart of the wedding party. WTF????? I had to pray hard before responding to her b/c had i responded out of emotions, it would have been the beginning of many feuds between our families. Of course I did not and Will not reask her or anyone for that matter to be apart of the wedding especially when it was their choice not drop out.
[/quote]
WOW!!!!!!! why do people want to try you at the most stressful times???
Are you guys paying for all the bridesmaids dresses or are they getting to choose their own dresses (in your colour scheme)? - this was suggested to me last week!
my bridesmaids paid for their own dresses (kinda) I put everyone's dresses on my cc and they are paying me back...all of my bridesmaids and attendants are wearing the same color dresses, but they get to choose the style; I did this because what might look "cute" on one, may not look cute on all of them! :)
Did you specify a length- or can they just go with the flow- thats what I am thinking of doing too, but I dont want it too haphazard- I really like tea-length- particularly since I am having a summer wedding (definately summer no matter what!!)
My sister (maid of honor) and I chose the gowns for my bridal party. We were considerate of the different shapes of the girls in the party when selecting the gowns. The girls paid for their own gowns also.
[quote="TiffyB"]My sister (maid of honor) and I chose the gowns for my bridal party. We were considerate of the different shapes of the girls in the party when selecting the gowns. The girls paid for their own gowns also.
[/quote]
I selected their gowns with their input....Since I had 2 BM's and a sping wedding, the MOH (my then 20 year old sister) got a cute tea-length to accentuate her body and your youth, and my Matron of honor 26 y.o. got a long dress that was flattering to her body type....I insisted that they look great and even used the word "Sexy" cause we all have to look good, not just me! Oh and the dresses were in the same color!
I chose my girls dress and color. I considered letting them chose the style but it worked better for me this way. The dress is perfect on all of them, and they paid for the dresses themselves. I didn't want to overtax any of them so I did a payment plan which none of them used, they just paid for the dress in full. So that was a huge, wonderful surprise for me.
[quote="Teresa1167"]Can u believe 3 bridesmaid have yet to order there dresses and my wedding is in june!!! I am so upset also my maid of honor has yet to go in as well.I have been engaged since August. I can't understand it i sent them an email that if they dont get in by saturday they will be replaced!! Do u think that is being harsh ??? I can't start on programs and things because they taking they time!!!What do u think I should u do ladies ??
[/quote]
Clearly, They must think that you are playing with them. If they don't have there dresses by a certain deadline...um tell them they are proudly promoted to guest. I think some people lose hind sight of what is actually taking place. I don't think they take the bride and grooms situation into consideration. I am saying this because I dealt with a similar problem. I had to come to the realization that if they were a little trife before I got engaged it surely wasn't going to change. So evaluate your bridesmaids behavior and see. I know one of mine is just a selfish, "hi-maintenance" individual...and she is surely showing her colors now. I was a little heart broken at first..but then I realize I am getting married w/ or w/o that heffa...and my day will still be beautiful.
To those of you who are having issues with your bridal party keeping to a deadline, I would suggest that you call them for the last time and ask them if they're having an issue with the fittings for the dresses. Stress once more that it must be done by that date or it would be too late for them to share your day with you. Then, pending on the answer you receive, follow up with an e-mail of the conversation so you could all be on the same page (remember to cc yourself and your fh as proof that you tried to negotiate with them). If they fail to attend again, I would send them a final e-mail telling them since they choose not to be part of your wedding party by not showing up for months or missing so many deadline to order their dresses, you have no choice but to replace them in the bridal party in order that your day may happen right on schedule.
At this point, don't worry about stepping on toes as this is your day, remember that and on this particular subject, let them call you a B*, but don't care cause you gave them ample opportunity to do the right thing if they truly wanted to share that day with you. They chose not to coorporate and you had no choice but to replace them. That's all there is to it, in my professional oppinion.
FOund this too:
http://www.vibride.com/article88.html.
I forgot how to do website links so just copy and Paste...This may be helpful...
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
Teresa,
I had that same problem with one of my girls. I asked her in March 07 to be in the wedding and said that we would be ordering the dresses at the end of August. She said ok, she would be on it. I told my girls that early cause i know how they are, even though they just got their dresses in December. (best time to go for quick delivery return)
well after that we didnt speak for a while cause we both had a lot going on until september. so i made sure again that she would still get her dress. all my girls got their orders in except her. for a while she always talked about it and i gave her a deadline, and called her in between the day i told her and the deadline date, no answer no call back. so now when i talk to her, i dont even mention anything about it or the whole wedding in general.
Back to the subject. I dont think you are being harsh, like my best friend told me, it's your day and you have to be happy. Dont worry about their feelings cause they are not doing what they are supposed to as your bridesmaid. Tell them straight like that, if they dont get them, they aint in it. Send them an invite if you still want.
:-) and that be it. you dont have time to chase and be stressed
[quote="Teresa1167"]Can u believe 3 bridesmaid have yet to order there dresses and my wedding is in june!!! I am so upset also my maid of honor has yet to go in as well.I have been engaged since August. I can't understand it i sent them an email that if they dont get in by saturday they will be replaced!! Do u think that is being harsh ??? I can't start on programs and things because they taking they time!!!What do u think I should u do ladies ??
[/quote]
push and prod 'em! it is sad that on top of everything else you are dealing with you have to do this, but your wedding is really not important to anyone but YOU!!!!! (in their eyes) been there and done that myself...my wedding is 6 wks away and my party are "finally" getting their stuff together...check this, my moh dress has been back in the shop since Nov. and guess when she actually went in for her first fitting??? YESTERDAY!!!!!!!!! yep 6 weeks before the wedding! :( and we had a groomsmen come out of the wood work on Sat. (keep in mind FH has been trying to get in contact with him since Nov) him: say dawg, what's up with the wedding, what do I need to do??? now FH is like what can we do to add so and so... me: NOT A D**N THANG!! he should have had his azz in gear before now! so yes, this stress you are going thru is the norm...I cannot WAIT for my girls to get married...I have already put it in my memory bank to give them a dose of their own medicine!!!!!
I have one better for you. FH and I decided to push the wedding back from Feb. 08 to April 08. So FH's sister decided she wasn't going to be able to be in the wedding b/c she couldn't make it to get fitted. So it was cool, we moved on without her, so this chick had the nerve to send me an email last week bombing me out b/c I didn't "reask" her to be apart of the wedding party. WTF????? I had to pray hard before responding to her b/c had i responded out of emotions, it would have been the beginning of many feuds between our families. Of course I did not and Will not reask her or anyone for that matter to be apart of the wedding especially when it was their choice not drop out.
Striving for better than my Best!!!
Unbelievable! DJimonsmom! I wouldn't re-ask her either!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
[quote="djimonsmom"]I have one better for you. FH and I decided to push the wedding back from Feb. 08 to April 08. So FH's sister decided she wasn't going to be able to be in the wedding b/c she couldn't make it to get fitted. So it was cool, we moved on without her, so this chick had the nerve to send me an email last week bombing me out b/c I didn't "reask" her to be apart of the wedding party. WTF????? I had to pray hard before responding to her b/c had i responded out of emotions, it would have been the beginning of many feuds between our families. Of course I did not and Will not reask her or anyone for that matter to be apart of the wedding especially when it was their choice not drop out.
[/quote]
WOW!!!!!!! why do people want to try you at the most stressful times???
She meant ...why didn't you BEG her ...that's what RE-asking is. ...Why would you do that ...so she can RE-drop out!
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;10712;106/st/20081228/e/Our+Anniversary/k/5eb4/event.png[/img]
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[quote="Turiya"]She meant ...why didn't you BEG her ...that's RE-asking is. ...Why would you do that ...so she can RE-drop out!
[/quote]
You are soooo right T!!
Are you guys paying for all the bridesmaids dresses or are they getting to choose their own dresses (in your colour scheme)? - this was suggested to me last week!
my bridesmaids paid for their own dresses (kinda) I put everyone's dresses on my cc and they are paying me back...all of my bridesmaids and attendants are wearing the same color dresses, but they get to choose the style; I did this because what might look "cute" on one, may not look cute on all of them! :)
Did you specify a length- or can they just go with the flow- thats what I am thinking of doing too, but I dont want it too haphazard- I really like tea-length- particularly since I am having a summer wedding (definately summer no matter what!!)
I did specify long dresses for my bridesmaids but I gave my attendants a choice-they all chose to go long also so it worked out! :)
My sister (maid of honor) and I chose the gowns for my bridal party. We were considerate of the different shapes of the girls in the party when selecting the gowns. The girls paid for their own gowns also.
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;5;96/st/20080315/e/We+Became+One/k/f0ec/event.png[/img]
[/url]
www.mywedding.com/kyleandtiffany
[quote="TiffyB"]My sister (maid of honor) and I chose the gowns for my bridal party. We were considerate of the different shapes of the girls in the party when selecting the gowns. The girls paid for their own gowns also.
[/quote]
I selected their gowns with their input....Since I had 2 BM's and a sping wedding, the MOH (my then 20 year old sister) got a cute tea-length to accentuate her body and your youth, and my Matron of honor 26 y.o. got a long dress that was flattering to her body type....I insisted that they look great and even used the word "Sexy" cause we all have to look good, not just me! Oh and the dresses were in the same color!
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
I chose my girls dress and color. I considered letting them chose the style but it worked better for me this way. The dress is perfect on all of them, and they paid for the dresses themselves. I didn't want to overtax any of them so I did a payment plan which none of them used, they just paid for the dress in full. So that was a huge, wonderful surprise for me.
Striving for better than my Best!!!
[quote="Teresa1167"]Can u believe 3 bridesmaid have yet to order there dresses and my wedding is in june!!! I am so upset also my maid of honor has yet to go in as well.I have been engaged since August. I can't understand it i sent them an email that if they dont get in by saturday they will be replaced!! Do u think that is being harsh ??? I can't start on programs and things because they taking they time!!!What do u think I should u do ladies ??
[/quote]
Clearly, They must think that you are playing with them. If they don't have there dresses by a certain deadline...um tell them they are proudly promoted to guest. I think some people lose hind sight of what is actually taking place. I don't think they take the bride and grooms situation into consideration. I am saying this because I dealt with a similar problem. I had to come to the realization that if they were a little trife before I got engaged it surely wasn't going to change. So evaluate your bridesmaids behavior and see. I know one of mine is just a selfish, "hi-maintenance" individual...and she is surely showing her colors now. I was a little heart broken at first..but then I realize I am getting married w/ or w/o that heffa...and my day will still be beautiful.
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;10743;116/st/20080315/e/til%27+we+become+1.+/dt/-1/k/bdda/event.png[/img]
[/url]
To those of you who are having issues with your bridal party keeping to a deadline, I would suggest that you call them for the last time and ask them if they're having an issue with the fittings for the dresses. Stress once more that it must be done by that date or it would be too late for them to share your day with you. Then, pending on the answer you receive, follow up with an e-mail of the conversation so you could all be on the same page (remember to cc yourself and your fh as proof that you tried to negotiate with them). If they fail to attend again, I would send them a final e-mail telling them since they choose not to be part of your wedding party by not showing up for months or missing so many deadline to order their dresses, you have no choice but to replace them in the bridal party in order that your day may happen right on schedule.
At this point, don't worry about stepping on toes as this is your day, remember that and on this particular subject, let them call you a B*, but don't care cause you gave them ample opportunity to do the right thing if they truly wanted to share that day with you. They chose not to coorporate and you had no choice but to replace them. That's all there is to it, in my professional oppinion.