I know better than to try this at my reception...

Lol, now that's a thought..

Ok, I am a bargain bride in every sense of the word, however; if you can't afford to invite them without charging a per plate fee, you shouldn't do it.

Secondly what about folks that would have given you a gift that cost more than that or more money than the $25. You have now limited yourself. I don't know too many people that would pay a per plate fee and still bring a gift.

I don't like it, but thats me...I will say this....If $$ is an issue, then yes, scale down, like we did! We saved our money to have the best wedding possible, and it worked! We bargained hunted and got our per plate lunch reception fee for 16.95pp at a restaurant that is a local favorite and also does banquets....

Also in response to her "guests contributing to the reception". We spent about 2000.00 incl taxes, gratuity etc (I know thats cheap for 115 guest that actually showed! But we like in a med-sized town in FL), got SOOO many gifts on our registry AND over 2000.00 in checks and cash! So they paid for the reception anyways without us asking! So she needs to realize that people are GENEROUS at weddings:) Shoot more generous than even we thought!

Just my 2 cents.

To each his own but I'm with Ivy and Bumble on this one. Whenever I go to a wedding, I always buy something off the registry or give a monetary gift that at least covers my dinner cost and them some, but that's just me.

Ditto. We got married and had our reception at a restaurant too in order to cut down on expenses. We received so many gifts and more than enough cash to cover the costs for the reception. It worked out for us too.

Lastly, I think my mother would've had a FIT and collapsed from embarrassment if I would've asked guests to pay.

To each is own though -- if that's what someone wants to do.

I know I opposed the idea, but I ALWAYS try to find a "tactful" way around things....so here's an idea:

I think that if you had a very private ceremony (You may spring for the costs for your attendants/bridal party), and then invited a small or medium-sized group to "have dinner" with the new Bride and Groom at a restaraunt who can perhaps provide a limited menu at a discounted price for guests (w/o the guests knowing), then that would work out....On the invite, you can say....After the ceremony, please join the bride and groom and XYZ restaraunt for dinner to celebrate their new life together.... then you can do 2 things:

1) Pass the word around that this is the after ceremony dinner plans (notice I never use the actual word "reception-since it carries the connotation that the hosts pay for it)...and that meals are to be paid for by the guests.....
AND/OR
2) Put in very small print at the bottom of the invite that guests are to pay for their own meals (Maybe a Vibride sistah can come up with a polite line here)....
(I would send an invite AND spread the word)....Family is very understanding, and usually want to be there for you!
Either way, when you prepare people for something, they are better equipped to work it out...in the end, those who are meant to be there will come, those who can't, won't make it....

Ok. I am speechless. It is just tacky. Your reception is a PARTY that you are throwing, not a fundraiser. Its for the pleasure of their company. If you can't afford it just don't have one. or just serve cake for chrissake.

[quote="Rosetta"]Ok. I am speechless. It is just tacky. Your reception is a PARTY that you are throwing, not a fundraiser. Its for the pleasure of their company. If you can't afford it just don't have one. or just serve cake for chrissake.
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Oohh wee!

LOL!!!

[quote="Butterbean"]...but how this bride explains why and how she had her guests pay for their dinner at their wedding seems pretty reasonable to me.

offbeatbride.com

I truly have no need for any bridal registries. FH and have been living together for 3 years and we have everything we need. I wish that there was a tactful way to have the guests partially pay for their meal during my reception in lieu of wedding gifts. *sigh*
Anyway, I know that I'm probably the only one who admires this. I give her a classic 90's "You go girl!" for having the nerve.
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I just have too much to say about every daggone thing...so here I go some more....Butter, why not get some new stuff for your new life together? Sure you may not need the traditional China or silverware, but this may be an opportunity to get get a new color palatte for one or all of your bathrooms or some new sheets! Maybe you all can upgrade your bed if you don't already have a King, and get some new sheets? Or maybe a nice everyday dish set with new tablecloths or placemats? Whether you have the basic essentials or not, everybide and groom deserves that feeling of elation after the honeymoon to come home and open gifts..Its like getting married all over again!

I had my own place with everything, and after DH bought a new King Bed and TV I got mad initially at his premature moving in-but I was excited to have the new HD TV and buy sheets to re-decorate and not have the bedroom look so girly....

[quote="Bumblebeekee"]...but how this bride explains why and how she had her guests pay for their dinner at their wedding seems pretty reasonable to me.

offbeatbride.com

I truly have no need for any bridal registries. FH and have been living together for 3 years and we have everything we need. I wish that there was a tactful way to have the guests partially pay for their meal during my reception in lieu of wedding gifts. *sigh*
Anyway, I know that I'm probably the only one who admires this. I give her a classic 90's "You go girl!" for having the nerve.

I just have too much to say about every daggone thing...so here I go some more....Butter, why not get some new stuff for your new life together? Sure you may not need the traditional China or silverware, but this may be an opportunity to get get a new color palatte for one or all of your bathrooms or some new sheets! Maybe you all can upgrade your bed if you don't already have a King, and get some new sheets? Or maybe a nice everyday dish set with new tablecloths or placemats? Whether you have the basic essentials or not, everybide and groom deserves that feeling of elation after the honeymoon to come home and open gifts..Its like getting married all over again!

I had my own place with everything, and after DH bought a new King Bed and TV I got mad initially at his premature moving in-but I was excited to have the new HD TV and buy sheets to re-decorate and not have the bedroom look so girly....
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I agree Bumblebee!

[quote="Rosetta"]Ok. I am speechless. It is just tacky. Your reception is a PARTY that you are throwing, not a fundraiser. Its for the pleasure of their company. If you can't afford it just don't have one. or just serve cake for chrissake.
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I wholeheartedly agree with Rosy - the minute you decide to plan a wedding you should know what your limitations are in terms of money. If you can't afford to cater for everyone; either settle for a small private do or postpone the bigger do for later when you have saved enough money or don't have it all.

And compliments of the New Year everybody!!!

Excellent suggestion Bumble!

Professionally, as a wedding coordinator/planner, I'm with all of you ladies. It's very tacky to have your guests pay for their own meals. They would never say so in front of you, but imagine the snickers behind your back!!!

As a future bride, I would never consider this. If a couple have all they need and honestly do not want any gifts, you could ask your guests to give a contribution in both of your names to your favorite charities, but to down right ask your guests to help with the meal budget, very tacky, but then this is just my 2 cents!!!

[quote="Ginoue"]Professionally, as a wedding coordinator/planner, I'm with all of you ladies. It's very tacky to have your guests pay for their own meals. They would never say so in front of you, but imagine the snickers behind your back!!!

As a future bride, I would never consider this. If a couple have all they need and honestly do not want any gifts, you could ask your guests to give a contribution in both of your names to your favorite charities, but to down right ask your guests to help with the meal budget, very tacky, but then this is just my 2 cents!!!
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Even by simply getting the word around that you are not having a registry will trigger people to give a cash gift!

So true Bumble!