Girlfriend this is an excellent topic!!! When I met my DH, he had a chipped tooth and a bloodshot eye. (He was in a bad car accident weeks before). Well let me tell you, my girlfriends "cut" me up for talking to him. I enjoyed his conversation and there seemed to be something different about him.
After our first date, one of my girlfriends continued to "give me the business" for talking to this guy with the chipped tooth and jacked up eye. I completely ignored her because he had my attention. My girlfriend told me that she would NEVER talk to a man that had a chipped tooth and a messed up eye -- needless to say, she's still single and searching.
To answer your question, I did put aside my standards for a brief moment, because at first glance this guy's face was a mess. Albeit he was in an accident and all. Eventually when his face and mouth healed he went to the dentist and got his tooth fixed and the broken vessels in his eye healed. If I had given in to my girlfriend's complaints and my initial response to his appearance, I would've thrown away an intelligent, educated man with a master's degree, good job and his own money (LOL) who treats me like a queen.
I'm so glad I followed my inner urgings -- he turned out to be my Mr. Right!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Pam I am so glad that you brought this up. I was working at my part-time job (at the time) when I had problems with a co-worker (I was the assistant manager). Well, at the end of our night I had a man call and ask for a pizza. Well I told him that we were about to close in 10 minutes and if he could get there by then I wouldn't close. He started hitting on me on the phone and said he wanted to talk to me more when he got there. Well, long story short he came to get his pizza and he continued to flirt and ask me for my number. I kept saying no because I said I would never do that but finally gave in. He called me for 2 weeks straight asking me to come over so he could cook me dinner and we could talk. I finally gave in and we have been inseperable since. The funny thing was he had talked to me 2 years before and we were talking to each other as friends and I would have never given him the chance of day then but I did later on. Now look at where we are at.
[quote="DaughterRhonda"] I enjoyed his conversation and there seemed to be something different about him... ...I'm so glad I followed my inner urgings -- he turned out to be my Mr. Right!!!
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Rhony enjoying the conversation is HUGE and so high on the priority list. That's exactly how DH won me over too.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
Nope, I didn't break any rules. I'm picky, and I waited all these years to marry the right one for me. His nickname was "Total Package" now "Total Married Package", and he certainly is. He's the same height as me, but height never mattered to me as long as the man isn't shorter. He's just the way I love him, and like I was telling my cousin last night on the phone, "I can reach everything I need." LOL!
[quote="VIPrincessBride"] height never mattered to me as long as the man isn't shorter. [/quote]
This reminds me of a sista we don't hear from anymore, Abeni. She really seemed to struggle with dating a shorter man and I pray she was finally able to see pass his physical height and focus more on the real measure of a man.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
I always said I would never date anyone with kids because of all the drama that may come along but.....The first time I saw my FI's little girl I feel in love with her and now she is on my heels..lol! and we have her super rotten..lol!
[quote="VIPrincessBride"] He's just the way I love him, and like I was telling my cousin last night on the phone, "I can reach everything I need." LOL!
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Alright now! LOL!!!
It is such a blessing to have the "Total Married Package" -- God is good!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
l suck at writing a summary story so guys this is going to be a long post,lm apologizing 1st!...
It was love at 1st sight..butterflies and all.We met at junior high,winter study camp at my school where l was headgirl/school captain.l guess he was too shy to ask and l was too proud to give in,was gona let some boy ruin my reputation lol lol.He ended up dating a friend of a friend (l hated him for that)and went back to boarding school.l dated a friend of a friend of his (didnt know they were friends) and he hated me for that too.We didnt talk for over a year although we lived 30min away from each other.We met once again and this time we became friends..very good friends for about 2years,exchanging VHS tapes (there were no DVDs yet! lol) then l had to leave for college half away across the world!! We kept in touch,been best friends for the past 5years.We always spoke on the 4ne for hours! When l went home last year,he said he has been dying for all these years being friends and all and that he couldnt hold it back nomore.Truth is l felt the same way,so yeah we have been on a rollercoaster since then.
Broken rule #1...dating a friend of a friend's ex
Broken rule #2...dating my own best friend!
lm glad though that l the Lord blessed us with these years to get to know each other in all honesty..
LoLo, that's a beautiful story. I don't think dating a friend of a friend's ex is that bad. It's not the same thing as dating an ex of a friend. Some people really have big problems with that, and it does give you pause, but we don't own anyone and everyone deserves the right to pursue their own happiness with the right person for them as long as it isn't causing deep hurt and pain.
[quote="DaughterRhonda"] He's just the way I love him, and like I was telling my cousin last night on the phone, "I can reach everything I need." LOL!
Alright now! LOL!!!
It is such a blessing to have the "Total Married Package" -- God is good!!!
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..and the people said Amen!
Yes, He is Rhonda. Everyone is attracted to different people for various reasons. I think the important thing is to figure what you can live with, and what you can't. Nobody should settle for less than what they can live with or they won't be happy and the other person won't be happy either. However, you can keep an open mind and heart.
I don't think that it's right, though, when a partner asks you to break personal life choices that go against your principles or your faith, for example. If you choose to on your own, that's fine, but if he or she asks you to do so and you do, that can lead to resentment.
[quote="VIPrincessBride"]LoLo, that's a beautiful story. I don't think dating a friend of a friend's ex is that bad. It's not the same thing as dating an ex of a friend. Some people really have big problems with that, and it does give you pause, but we don't own anyone and everyone deserves the right to pursue their own happiness with the right person for them as long as it isn't causing deep hurt and pain.
[quote="VIPrincessBride"]Yes, He is Rhonda. Everyone is attracted to different people for various reasons. I think the important thing is to figure what you can live with, and what you can't. Nobody should settle for less than what they can live with or they won't be happy and the other person won't be happy either. However, you can keep an open mind and heart.
I don't think that it's right, though, when a partner asks you to break personal life choices that go against your principles or your faith, for example. If you choose to on your own, that's fine, but if he or she asks you to do so and you do, that can lead to resentment.
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Well said also. Great pearls of wisdom!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Being a single parent and being fortunate enough to have both fathers in my sons life, I always said I didn't want to date a man that had not been married or who did not have kids because they needed to understand the parental relationship I shared with my sons fathers, but needless to say DH had neither---no marriage or kids which some people would think is a good thing, but it was a cautiion flag for me. Well needless to say, it has worked out great because DH and my son's father are very cordial to one another and I have NO DRAMA :)
Soontobemsj, I don't think your situation is "settling", because you've decided that you CAN live with your husband being never married with no kids. Your heart and your mind was open. It works for you and you're happy. That's great!
I don't really know why I finally gave in other than it was nice to be pursued. He really seemed ginuine in his approach and didn't seem to only want to get at me for sex. I liked the way he spoke to me with respect. He just slowly melted my heart that I had frozen since my previous divorce and bad break-up with my previous ex. Plus it was nice to see that he wanted to take it to the next level above being a friend and I knew that he was someone that I could trust.
Everybodies story was amazing. I was blessed with my FH. We acutaly met in 1995 because I hired his mother to work for me at an clothing store and he would pick her up, well it was an clothing store, and he wolud make passing at me and I was TOTALLY not interested, because he was not my physical standards so I didn't give the time of day. As time went on we went our separte ways due to the clothing store closing. We then met at another location, and for another two years he would always buy things for me and send them to my table and never say anything to me and I had totally forgot that he was the same man from 1995. He came to me one nite and once again asked me out on a date and being a sinlgle mother of two I was hesitante but was not having and luck comming across a good man, so I finally accepted his offer, and went on a dinner date, just to see if he meet my standards as a man. He then revealed to me, that he is the same man that was picking up his mother in 1995, also the one that would seen me the things to my table at our mutual spot. An I must say that he meets my standards and more. I regreat not giving him a chance before. I probaly be alot future.
I was one of those girls that was never attracted to dark skinned guys or hairy guys (lol) and always dated guys that were the same age as me, as you have seen Dh is has dark skin and he has hair on his chest (lol TMI) and is 3 years older that me. Before we even had our first real convo, I told everyone that I was gonna marry that man, total opposite of what I thought I would be with.
wedding2010, your story is so romantic. I can see it in a romance novel.
Well, I did break the rules at least one time years ago and opened my heart and mind to date a man who had a daughter and didn't have a college education. He also lived at home with his mother. He was very good to me, and I enjoyed our relationship. However, after a few months, he revealed to me that he was getting himself involved in some "ahem" criminal activity to help support his daughter. I let him know where I stood on that subject, and why it was not good for him to be involved in said activity. When he indicated to me that he was going to continue, I let him know that the relationship was over. That was one personal rule I refused to break because I knew that it went against my principles, and I could not live with it.
It just so happens that God has blessed me with a man who fulfills my dreams, and I appreciate him all the more. Prayer works!
ViPrincessBride I will say AMEN to that! Prayer does work!
I want to add that I had come to a point in my life asking God to help me to be content with or without a man. I wanted to have my life and my relationship with God together. I spent many days praying and staying focused on where I wanted my life to go. That's when God blessed me!!! He blessed me when I wasn't looking! He has blessed me beyond my wildest dreams and I am ever so grateful!!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
This a fabulous topic! The only difference was the fact that my DH was not a "hard-body". He was muscular enough, but not what I was accustomed to. Another thing was, I was also used to dating guys 6' or taller, and he's like 5'8 or 9". Minor things.
I'm a married woman as of December 2, 2006.
Delight yourself also in the Lord & He shall give you all the desires of your heart.-Psalm 37:4
I have to say that I did more than bend my rule, I just flat out broke it. LOL. My best friend is a man and has been for years. Well, we never said it but always knew that we would never cross the lines of our friendship. We knew almost everything about each other, secrets and all. So when he told me that he was in love with me, I was thinking how could this have happened. Then I started noticing all the things that never mattered to me before, like him being the same height as me (BIG ISSUE FOR ME) and when I wear heels I'd be taller than him. And how protective he was of me, and how sensitive he was and the list went on until I realized that I was actually trying to cover up the fact that I was in love with him as well and had been for years. WELL needless to say my best friend is now my wonderful husband whom I wouldn't trade for anything or anyone. This is one rule I am so glad I broke.
And the height thing, well, our love supersedes our shortcomings. LOL
I was one of those girls that was never attracted to dark skinned guys or hairy guys (lol) and always dated guys that were the same age as me, as you have seen Dh is has dark skin and he has hair on his chest (lol TMI) [/quote]
SHY, OMG giving you High 5 on the hairy thing. When I was in my twenties I broke up with a guy because he had a small hairy patch on his back that every time we were intimate it would interfer with my focus. I mean he had gorgeous soft baby skin but one strange hairy patch. Every time my hand would touch it I would jerk my hand back like WTF. I know that's TMI but so what, LOL. DH is hairy also and he better be happy he already had me hooked the first time I saw him shirtless cause, girl, who knows where we would be..LMAO
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
Like Cinny I was used to dating guys 6' or taller because I'm pretty tall, especially when i put on my heels. BUT I threw all that out the window when I met my hubby..he's 5'11. I knew we were meant to be....I really did.
I was one of those girls that was never attracted to dark skinned guys or hairy guys (lol) and always dated guys that were the same age as me, as you have seen Dh is has dark skin and he has hair on his chest (lol TMI)
SHY, OMG giving you High 5 on the hairy thing. When I was in my twenties I broke up with a guy because he had a small hairy patch on his back that every time we were intimate it would interfer with my focus. I mean he had gorgeous soft baby skin but one strange hairy patch. Every time my hand would touch it I would jerk my hand back like WTF. I know that's TMI but so what, LOL. DH is hairy also and he better be happy he already had me hooked the first time I saw him shirtless cause, girl, who knows where we would be..LMAO
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OMG -- I just lost it -- too funny!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
[quote="Cinamin1"]This a fabulous topic! The only difference was the fact that my DH was not a "hard-body". He was muscular enough, but not what I was accustomed to. Another thing was, I was also used to dating guys 6' or taller, and he's like 5'8 or 9". Minor things.
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Hey now Cinny! I am feeling you....Today this is hard to type cause DH absolutely woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning so I am a little teed at him this AM. However, when we met, he was unremarkable in appearance. Plus he is heavier. SO when I met him and his friend who were friends with my roomates-I was just like, he is one of the dozens of guys cruising through, cause my roomates were a little...ahem...friendly.
I guess hanging out with them I got to get to know him better, and coming out of a relationship with a guy who was basically your typlical muscular, hard-body type, arrogant, lying, bad-boy, I told myself that my "type" hasn't been all there. I mean I have really tried to dip into different things. My ex was the muscular, arrogoant gym-rat, then there was the dark, silky-skinned guy with a glowing smile, who was just a creep (glad that didn't last long), then your typical light-skinned, green-eyed Jamaican, with curly hair, who though we are still friends, clearly he was not ready to commit-until recently, and honey if you can create him up in your mind, I have tried him...Athletes, musicians (the one who broke my heart), I even talked to a guy younger than me.....
Weight was never really an issue-because the guys above were of varying heights, weights, skin complexions, etc. Sure, my DH like the others has a killer smile, the smoothest chocolate skin, and brown eyes a shade or two lighter than his skin. The longest eyelashes, silky curly hair that hugs his scalp when wet...But do you think I noticed that at first? NO! But I when I look back, what I really was doing with these guys was settling...I feel like my Husband is a HUMONGOUS step up. Why? Okay, the attitude. Just love to go all out for me....In the beginning. I was being so selfish with him, cause I was hurt, and ready to use him....I even messed around with green-eyed, light-skinned Jamaican about a month after DH and I met. But instead of not being bothered by me when I was detaching myself, I found myself becoming more and more intrigued. He was a perfect balance of spoiling me, but keeping a level head. He wasn't over-emotional like me. We held hands a lot. We stared at each other a lot. He did little things like call me up to go for ice cream, and other little "cheesy" things. I got so open. Of course I wasn't saved, so I have to admit we made love not too long after we met. And it was amazing. He took my body to places I'd never seen. Always giving. Still to this day! After the first time, he even brought back a big brown bag full of condoms. Partly as a joke, but mostly serious cause he figured early on I was THE ONE. It took me longer. I pushed and pushed away-HARD...not knowing how to handle being treated so well. Tried hard to break up with him cause I just KNEW it was too good to be true....But he wasn't having it. He wrote me a long letter telling me howhe felt about me...Never using the words I love you...I didn't even care....But then one day we were arguing, and he'd had enough. I told him its not nice to talk to someone who loves you so much like that. He got so quiet. He said (as he says all the time to this day): Oh is that right? That was nine years ago.....
Okay...How did I break the rules? My rules on looks first of course...Well bent not broken. Babe is fine! So I guess it was a bonus. Cause he was all that, and all about me...So thats definitely a NEW RULE. If this thing doesn't work out. God forbid...If I ever decide to pursue another relationship...As spoiled as I am...next brotha gotta come correct!
2. Lack of "apparent" ambition....I was raised to be a go-getter. I was literally groomed by my mom (who after a bitter divorce with my dad who had his own ideas on how to take care of his family...or lack thereof)-but I was supposed to marry rich: IE Corperate whoever making 5-6 figures, but no less than 60-75K....So when she met my DH (then BF), she saw a sweet, soft-spoken guy from the middle of Florida from a city I had never heard of, with the most country-fied name: General Lee (you'd think he was white), who was one semester away from failing out of school-she was like WTF-ever....! She of course was nice to him...And he thought she was just fine as all outdooors...But my mom-who stuggled from the bottom with us...cut-up...She got snooty...and after meeting some of her snooty siblings (well I thought they were cool-he thought my aunt was snooty)-that was the beginning of the end. He is JUST now getting along with her side of my family....But my mom pulled me to the side and was like how is HE going to take care of you? After that everything he bought me it was like: How can he afford to buy you a Coach bag for your birthday...You only have known each other 5 months? How can he afford this or that? Well I learned: Good Credit, and lots of savings...His parents are really sitting on a lot of money...You wouldn't think of it cause they live in a trailer by choice....They are so humble and is always taking care of everyone else. When they bought us our SUV as a wedding present. My mom insisted we give it back. We were not married yet, so he gave it to me to drive everyday....She was livid....I prayed and learned it was a little bit of jealousy. I am JUST convincing her to understand that you can live richly on a little bit. Its called saving...And we do it a lot.
I broke another rule: I make more money than him and I have 1 more degree than he does...So what? I have 2 jobs he has one. I am a state worker and an adjunct college professor. He works a semi-desk job with his degree in computers, and computer credentials (we are working on the ambition part), but I really am okay with that and so is he....Its not about money cause when we got married my credit was shot. He helped me manage it. Now it SHOT-UP 300 hundred points. His credit and now mine is great...mine getting better. We are close to buying a house. WE have a few bills but we are still living it up...
Last rule....When I did get saved instead of letting my little heathan go (you know they tell you to get out of those relationships if you're not married)....I prayed for him...HARD. It would have been easier to break it off right when he told me there is no how-no way he is going to church...Called me Ms. Bible Thumper...He didn't speak to me for 3 days when I said NO SEX. There was all the reasons in the world to call it quits...After 3 years of that (me backsliding a few times) I DID...But 3 months later he was saved, going to his own church...I wasn't leaving mine....and we were back together....6 months later we were engaged, and the rest is history...
Patience, Prayer, and Faith....Tell your friend that God will grant all her hearts desire, it you have a WILLING heart to commit to God first....Everything else WILL fall in line. God's word is NEVER void. it juts happens in HIS time! I am glad I waited on HIM. I don't think women do that enough anymore....
Bumble, I love the fact that you are always so open and honest. I see you as a "if you going to tell the story then tell the whole story" type person which is very admirable. Thanks for sharing.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
Bumble, thanks you for always keeping it real. Its always good to share our testimonies because its always someone somewhere going through the same thing that needs to be uplifted.
I broke the kid rule. I usually would not date man with kids. I never wanted to live with a man first but now I am considering it. I have had to rethink a lot of my ideas about relationships but so far the changes have all worked and things are running smoothly.
[quote="Bumblebeekee"]Patience, Prayer, and Faith....Tell your friend that God will grant all her hearts desire, it you have a WILLING heart to commit to God first....Everything else WILL fall in line. God's word is NEVER void. it juts happens in HIS time! I am glad I waited on HIM. I don't think women do that enough anymore....
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Sistah, we are witnessing today! It's true. There's no rush to the altar. These things happen, when they're supposed to happen, for everyone with prayer, faith, and patience. I once met a woman, who at 50 years old, was getting married for the first time in her life to the RIGHT man for her. It's better to be by yourself than be with the wrong person. With Jesus by your side, you are not alone.
[quote="VIPrincessBride"]Patience, Prayer, and Faith....Tell your friend that God will grant all her hearts desire, it you have a WILLING heart to commit to God first....Everything else WILL fall in line. God's word is NEVER void. it juts happens in HIS time! I am glad I waited on HIM. I don't think women do that enough anymore....
Sistah, we are witnessing today! It's true. There's no rush to the altar. These things happen, when they're supposed to happen, for everyone with prayer, faith, and patience. I once met a woman, who at 50 years old, was getting married for the first time in her life to the RIGHT man for her. It's better to be by yourself than be with the wrong person. With Jesus by your side, you are not alone.
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AMEN.
I started not to tell the whole thing. But like you said, better tell it straight...
That is so true. I have seen people marry the wrong ones and once it is done it cannot easliy be undone. I am happy either way being single or dating. I have just been so blessed lately.
I broke the rules for sure! Well for starters. I broke THE RULE: NEVER MARRY AGAIN. After breaking that rule ...everything else was a blur. Appearance wise, my loving husband isn't someone I would choose, however I fell in love with the best part first: his heart, by then everything else about him was perfect just the way it was.
I have a single friend who is feeling really frustrated with the dating scene and wondering
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
Girlfriend this is an excellent topic!!! When I met my DH, he had a chipped tooth and a bloodshot eye. (He was in a bad car accident weeks before). Well let me tell you, my girlfriends "cut" me up for talking to him. I enjoyed his conversation and there seemed to be something different about him.
After our first date, one of my girlfriends continued to "give me the business" for talking to this guy with the chipped tooth and jacked up eye. I completely ignored her because he had my attention. My girlfriend told me that she would NEVER talk to a man that had a chipped tooth and a messed up eye -- needless to say, she's still single and searching.
To answer your question, I did put aside my standards for a brief moment, because at first glance this guy's face was a mess. Albeit he was in an accident and all. Eventually when his face and mouth healed he went to the dentist and got his tooth fixed and the broken vessels in his eye healed. If I had given in to my girlfriend's complaints and my initial response to his appearance, I would've thrown away an intelligent, educated man with a master's degree, good job and his own money (LOL) who treats me like a queen.
I'm so glad I followed my inner urgings -- he turned out to be my Mr. Right!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Pam I am so glad that you brought this up. I was working at my part-time job (at the time) when I had problems with a co-worker (I was the assistant manager). Well, at the end of our night I had a man call and ask for a pizza. Well I told him that we were about to close in 10 minutes and if he could get there by then I wouldn't close. He started hitting on me on the phone and said he wanted to talk to me more when he got there. Well, long story short he came to get his pizza and he continued to flirt and ask me for my number. I kept saying no because I said I would never do that but finally gave in. He called me for 2 weeks straight asking me to come over so he could cook me dinner and we could talk. I finally gave in and we have been inseperable since. The funny thing was he had talked to me 2 years before and we were talking to each other as friends and I would have never given him the chance of day then but I did later on. Now look at where we are at.
Wedding Ticker from WhenIsMyWedding.com
[quote="DaughterRhonda"] I enjoyed his conversation and there seemed to be something different about him... ...I'm so glad I followed my inner urgings -- he turned out to be my Mr. Right!!!
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Rhony enjoying the conversation is HUGE and so high on the priority list. That's exactly how DH won me over too.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
[quote="pamcrow"]
Rhony enjoying the conversation is HUGE and so high on the priority list. That's exactly how DH won me over too.
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You are so right PamCrow!!!! It was a big priority on my list too!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
[quote="future_mrs_taylor"] I kept saying no because I said I would never do that but finally gave in...Now look at where we are at.
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Future what do you think it was that finally made you give in?
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
Nope, I didn't break any rules. I'm picky, and I waited all these years to marry the right one for me. His nickname was "Total Package" now "Total Married Package", and he certainly is. He's the same height as me, but height never mattered to me as long as the man isn't shorter. He's just the way I love him, and like I was telling my cousin last night on the phone, "I can reach everything I need." LOL!
[url=http://daisypath.com][img]http://dwdf.daisypath.com/TikiPic.php/x6JfPkg.jpg[/img][img]http://dwdf.daisypath.com/x6Jfm5.png[/img][/url]
[quote="VIPrincessBride"] height never mattered to me as long as the man isn't shorter. [/quote]
This reminds me of a sista we don't hear from anymore, Abeni. She really seemed to struggle with dating a shorter man and I pray she was finally able to see pass his physical height and focus more on the real measure of a man.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
I always said I would never date anyone with kids because of all the drama that may come along but.....The first time I saw my FI's little girl I feel in love with her and now she is on my heels..lol! and we have her super rotten..lol!
~Miss Kyhlei~
Remember To Always Be Fabulous!!!
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[quote="VIPrincessBride"] He's just the way I love him, and like I was telling my cousin last night on the phone, "I can reach everything I need." LOL!
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Alright now! LOL!!!
It is such a blessing to have the "Total Married Package" -- God is good!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
l suck at writing a summary story so guys this is going to be a long post,lm apologizing 1st!...
It was love at 1st sight..butterflies and all.We met at junior high,winter study camp at my school where l was headgirl/school captain.l guess he was too shy to ask and l was too proud to give in,was gona let some boy ruin my reputation lol lol.He ended up dating a friend of a friend (l hated him for that)and went back to boarding school.l dated a friend of a friend of his (didnt know they were friends) and he hated me for that too.We didnt talk for over a year although we lived 30min away from each other.We met once again and this time we became friends..very good friends for about 2years,exchanging VHS tapes (there were no DVDs yet! lol) then l had to leave for college half away across the world!! We kept in touch,been best friends for the past 5years.We always spoke on the 4ne for hours! When l went home last year,he said he has been dying for all these years being friends and all and that he couldnt hold it back nomore.Truth is l felt the same way,so yeah we have been on a rollercoaster since then.
Broken rule #1...dating a friend of a friend's ex
Broken rule #2...dating my own best friend!
lm glad though that l the Lord blessed us with these years to get to know each other in all honesty..
LoLo, that's a beautiful story. I don't think dating a friend of a friend's ex is that bad. It's not the same thing as dating an ex of a friend. Some people really have big problems with that, and it does give you pause, but we don't own anyone and everyone deserves the right to pursue their own happiness with the right person for them as long as it isn't causing deep hurt and pain.
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[quote="DaughterRhonda"] He's just the way I love him, and like I was telling my cousin last night on the phone, "I can reach everything I need." LOL!
Alright now! LOL!!!
It is such a blessing to have the "Total Married Package" -- God is good!!!
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..and the people said Amen!
Yes, He is Rhonda. Everyone is attracted to different people for various reasons. I think the important thing is to figure what you can live with, and what you can't. Nobody should settle for less than what they can live with or they won't be happy and the other person won't be happy either. However, you can keep an open mind and heart.
I don't think that it's right, though, when a partner asks you to break personal life choices that go against your principles or your faith, for example. If you choose to on your own, that's fine, but if he or she asks you to do so and you do, that can lead to resentment.
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[quote="VIPrincessBride"]LoLo, that's a beautiful story. I don't think dating a friend of a friend's ex is that bad. It's not the same thing as dating an ex of a friend. Some people really have big problems with that, and it does give you pause, but we don't own anyone and everyone deserves the right to pursue their own happiness with the right person for them as long as it isn't causing deep hurt and pain.
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well said!!!
[quote="VIPrincessBride"]Yes, He is Rhonda. Everyone is attracted to different people for various reasons. I think the important thing is to figure what you can live with, and what you can't. Nobody should settle for less than what they can live with or they won't be happy and the other person won't be happy either. However, you can keep an open mind and heart.
I don't think that it's right, though, when a partner asks you to break personal life choices that go against your principles or your faith, for example. If you choose to on your own, that's fine, but if he or she asks you to do so and you do, that can lead to resentment.
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Well said also. Great pearls of wisdom!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Broke all the rules...But I am so tired I will tell that story tomorrow. Good Night Ladies...The Gym WON!
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
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ok-I guess I did settle..so this is my story:
Being a single parent and being fortunate enough to have both fathers in my sons life, I always said I didn't want to date a man that had not been married or who did not have kids because they needed to understand the parental relationship I shared with my sons fathers, but needless to say DH had neither---no marriage or kids which some people would think is a good thing, but it was a cautiion flag for me. Well needless to say, it has worked out great because DH and my son's father are very cordial to one another and I have NO DRAMA :)
[quote="soon2bmsj"]
ok-I guess I did settle..so this is my story
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Soontobemsj, I don't think your situation is "settling", because you've decided that you CAN live with your husband being never married with no kids. Your heart and your mind was open. It works for you and you're happy. That's great!
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Pam,
I don't really know why I finally gave in other than it was nice to be pursued. He really seemed ginuine in his approach and didn't seem to only want to get at me for sex. I liked the way he spoke to me with respect. He just slowly melted my heart that I had frozen since my previous divorce and bad break-up with my previous ex. Plus it was nice to see that he wanted to take it to the next level above being a friend and I knew that he was someone that I could trust.
Wedding Ticker from WhenIsMyWedding.com
Everybodies story was amazing. I was blessed with my FH. We acutaly met in 1995 because I hired his mother to work for me at an clothing store and he would pick her up, well it was an clothing store, and he wolud make passing at me and I was TOTALLY not interested, because he was not my physical standards so I didn't give the time of day. As time went on we went our separte ways due to the clothing store closing. We then met at another location, and for another two years he would always buy things for me and send them to my table and never say anything to me and I had totally forgot that he was the same man from 1995. He came to me one nite and once again asked me out on a date and being a sinlgle mother of two I was hesitante but was not having and luck comming across a good man, so I finally accepted his offer, and went on a dinner date, just to see if he meet my standards as a man. He then revealed to me, that he is the same man that was picking up his mother in 1995, also the one that would seen me the things to my table at our mutual spot. An I must say that he meets my standards and more. I regreat not giving him a chance before. I probaly be alot future.
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Mz. Diva's 2010 Wedding Girl
Well DH, it was love at first site for us...
I was one of those girls that was never attracted to dark skinned guys or hairy guys (lol) and always dated guys that were the same age as me, as you have seen Dh is has dark skin and he has hair on his chest (lol TMI) and is 3 years older that me. Before we even had our first real convo, I told everyone that I was gonna marry that man, total opposite of what I thought I would be with.
I know I'm pretty lenghty but, He actually fits all my physical standards. I was just younger than.
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Mz. Diva's 2010 Wedding Girl
wedding2010, your story is so romantic. I can see it in a romance novel.
Well, I did break the rules at least one time years ago and opened my heart and mind to date a man who had a daughter and didn't have a college education. He also lived at home with his mother. He was very good to me, and I enjoyed our relationship. However, after a few months, he revealed to me that he was getting himself involved in some "ahem" criminal activity to help support his daughter. I let him know where I stood on that subject, and why it was not good for him to be involved in said activity. When he indicated to me that he was going to continue, I let him know that the relationship was over. That was one personal rule I refused to break because I knew that it went against my principles, and I could not live with it.
It just so happens that God has blessed me with a man who fulfills my dreams, and I appreciate him all the more. Prayer works!
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ViPrincessBride I will say AMEN to that! Prayer does work!
I want to add that I had come to a point in my life asking God to help me to be content with or without a man. I wanted to have my life and my relationship with God together. I spent many days praying and staying focused on where I wanted my life to go. That's when God blessed me!!! He blessed me when I wasn't looking! He has blessed me beyond my wildest dreams and I am ever so grateful!!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
This a fabulous topic! The only difference was the fact that my DH was not a "hard-body". He was muscular enough, but not what I was accustomed to. Another thing was, I was also used to dating guys 6' or taller, and he's like 5'8 or 9". Minor things.
I'm a married woman as of December 2, 2006.
Delight yourself also in the Lord & He shall give you all the desires of your heart.-Psalm 37:4
Great Topic Pamcrow.
I have to say that I did more than bend my rule, I just flat out broke it. LOL. My best friend is a man and has been for years. Well, we never said it but always knew that we would never cross the lines of our friendship. We knew almost everything about each other, secrets and all. So when he told me that he was in love with me, I was thinking how could this have happened. Then I started noticing all the things that never mattered to me before, like him being the same height as me (BIG ISSUE FOR ME) and when I wear heels I'd be taller than him. And how protective he was of me, and how sensitive he was and the list went on until I realized that I was actually trying to cover up the fact that I was in love with him as well and had been for years. WELL needless to say my best friend is now my wonderful husband whom I wouldn't trade for anything or anyone. This is one rule I am so glad I broke.
And the height thing, well, our love supersedes our shortcomings. LOL
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[quote="Shy41208"]
I was one of those girls that was never attracted to dark skinned guys or hairy guys (lol) and always dated guys that were the same age as me, as you have seen Dh is has dark skin and he has hair on his chest (lol TMI) [/quote]
SHY, OMG giving you High 5 on the hairy thing. When I was in my twenties I broke up with a guy because he had a small hairy patch on his back that every time we were intimate it would interfer with my focus. I mean he had gorgeous soft baby skin but one strange hairy patch. Every time my hand would touch it I would jerk my hand back like WTF. I know that's TMI but so what, LOL. DH is hairy also and he better be happy he already had me hooked the first time I saw him shirtless cause, girl, who knows where we would be..LMAO
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
Like Cinny I was used to dating guys 6' or taller because I'm pretty tall, especially when i put on my heels. BUT I threw all that out the window when I met my hubby..he's 5'11. I knew we were meant to be....I really did.
[quote="pamcrow"]
I was one of those girls that was never attracted to dark skinned guys or hairy guys (lol) and always dated guys that were the same age as me, as you have seen Dh is has dark skin and he has hair on his chest (lol TMI)
SHY, OMG giving you High 5 on the hairy thing. When I was in my twenties I broke up with a guy because he had a small hairy patch on his back that every time we were intimate it would interfer with my focus. I mean he had gorgeous soft baby skin but one strange hairy patch. Every time my hand would touch it I would jerk my hand back like WTF. I know that's TMI but so what, LOL. DH is hairy also and he better be happy he already had me hooked the first time I saw him shirtless cause, girl, who knows where we would be..LMAO
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OMG -- I just lost it -- too funny!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
[quote="Cinamin1"]This a fabulous topic! The only difference was the fact that my DH was not a "hard-body". He was muscular enough, but not what I was accustomed to. Another thing was, I was also used to dating guys 6' or taller, and he's like 5'8 or 9". Minor things.
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Hey now Cinny! I am feeling you....Today this is hard to type cause DH absolutely woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning so I am a little teed at him this AM. However, when we met, he was unremarkable in appearance. Plus he is heavier. SO when I met him and his friend who were friends with my roomates-I was just like, he is one of the dozens of guys cruising through, cause my roomates were a little...ahem...friendly.
I guess hanging out with them I got to get to know him better, and coming out of a relationship with a guy who was basically your typlical muscular, hard-body type, arrogant, lying, bad-boy, I told myself that my "type" hasn't been all there. I mean I have really tried to dip into different things. My ex was the muscular, arrogoant gym-rat, then there was the dark, silky-skinned guy with a glowing smile, who was just a creep (glad that didn't last long), then your typical light-skinned, green-eyed Jamaican, with curly hair, who though we are still friends, clearly he was not ready to commit-until recently, and honey if you can create him up in your mind, I have tried him...Athletes, musicians (the one who broke my heart), I even talked to a guy younger than me.....
Weight was never really an issue-because the guys above were of varying heights, weights, skin complexions, etc. Sure, my DH like the others has a killer smile, the smoothest chocolate skin, and brown eyes a shade or two lighter than his skin. The longest eyelashes, silky curly hair that hugs his scalp when wet...But do you think I noticed that at first? NO! But I when I look back, what I really was doing with these guys was settling...I feel like my Husband is a HUMONGOUS step up. Why? Okay, the attitude. Just love to go all out for me....In the beginning. I was being so selfish with him, cause I was hurt, and ready to use him....I even messed around with green-eyed, light-skinned Jamaican about a month after DH and I met. But instead of not being bothered by me when I was detaching myself, I found myself becoming more and more intrigued. He was a perfect balance of spoiling me, but keeping a level head. He wasn't over-emotional like me. We held hands a lot. We stared at each other a lot. He did little things like call me up to go for ice cream, and other little "cheesy" things. I got so open. Of course I wasn't saved, so I have to admit we made love not too long after we met. And it was amazing. He took my body to places I'd never seen. Always giving. Still to this day! After the first time, he even brought back a big brown bag full of condoms. Partly as a joke, but mostly serious cause he figured early on I was THE ONE. It took me longer. I pushed and pushed away-HARD...not knowing how to handle being treated so well. Tried hard to break up with him cause I just KNEW it was too good to be true....But he wasn't having it. He wrote me a long letter telling me howhe felt about me...Never using the words I love you...I didn't even care....But then one day we were arguing, and he'd had enough. I told him its not nice to talk to someone who loves you so much like that. He got so quiet. He said (as he says all the time to this day): Oh is that right? That was nine years ago.....
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
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Okay...How did I break the rules? My rules on looks first of course...Well bent not broken. Babe is fine! So I guess it was a bonus. Cause he was all that, and all about me...So thats definitely a NEW RULE. If this thing doesn't work out. God forbid...If I ever decide to pursue another relationship...As spoiled as I am...next brotha gotta come correct!
2. Lack of "apparent" ambition....I was raised to be a go-getter. I was literally groomed by my mom (who after a bitter divorce with my dad who had his own ideas on how to take care of his family...or lack thereof)-but I was supposed to marry rich: IE Corperate whoever making 5-6 figures, but no less than 60-75K....So when she met my DH (then BF), she saw a sweet, soft-spoken guy from the middle of Florida from a city I had never heard of, with the most country-fied name: General Lee (you'd think he was white), who was one semester away from failing out of school-she was like WTF-ever....! She of course was nice to him...And he thought she was just fine as all outdooors...But my mom-who stuggled from the bottom with us...cut-up...She got snooty...and after meeting some of her snooty siblings (well I thought they were cool-he thought my aunt was snooty)-that was the beginning of the end. He is JUST now getting along with her side of my family....But my mom pulled me to the side and was like how is HE going to take care of you? After that everything he bought me it was like: How can he afford to buy you a Coach bag for your birthday...You only have known each other 5 months? How can he afford this or that? Well I learned: Good Credit, and lots of savings...His parents are really sitting on a lot of money...You wouldn't think of it cause they live in a trailer by choice....They are so humble and is always taking care of everyone else. When they bought us our SUV as a wedding present. My mom insisted we give it back. We were not married yet, so he gave it to me to drive everyday....She was livid....I prayed and learned it was a little bit of jealousy. I am JUST convincing her to understand that you can live richly on a little bit. Its called saving...And we do it a lot.
I broke another rule: I make more money than him and I have 1 more degree than he does...So what? I have 2 jobs he has one. I am a state worker and an adjunct college professor. He works a semi-desk job with his degree in computers, and computer credentials (we are working on the ambition part), but I really am okay with that and so is he....Its not about money cause when we got married my credit was shot. He helped me manage it. Now it SHOT-UP 300 hundred points. His credit and now mine is great...mine getting better. We are close to buying a house. WE have a few bills but we are still living it up...
Last rule....When I did get saved instead of letting my little heathan go (you know they tell you to get out of those relationships if you're not married)....I prayed for him...HARD. It would have been easier to break it off right when he told me there is no how-no way he is going to church...Called me Ms. Bible Thumper...He didn't speak to me for 3 days when I said NO SEX. There was all the reasons in the world to call it quits...After 3 years of that (me backsliding a few times) I DID...But 3 months later he was saved, going to his own church...I wasn't leaving mine....and we were back together....6 months later we were engaged, and the rest is history...
Patience, Prayer, and Faith....Tell your friend that God will grant all her hearts desire, it you have a WILLING heart to commit to God first....Everything else WILL fall in line. God's word is NEVER void. it juts happens in HIS time! I am glad I waited on HIM. I don't think women do that enough anymore....
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
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Awesome Bumble!!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Bumble, I love the fact that you are always so open and honest. I see you as a "if you going to tell the story then tell the whole story" type person which is very admirable. Thanks for sharing.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
Wow!!!!
Bumble, thanks you for always keeping it real. Its always good to share our testimonies because its always someone somewhere going through the same thing that needs to be uplifted.
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I broke the kid rule. I usually would not date man with kids. I never wanted to live with a man first but now I am considering it. I have had to rethink a lot of my ideas about relationships but so far the changes have all worked and things are running smoothly.
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Just take your time Mycenae, remember to stay true to yourself & The Almighty and things should be fine.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
[quote="Bumblebeekee"]Patience, Prayer, and Faith....Tell your friend that God will grant all her hearts desire, it you have a WILLING heart to commit to God first....Everything else WILL fall in line. God's word is NEVER void. it juts happens in HIS time! I am glad I waited on HIM. I don't think women do that enough anymore....
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Sistah, we are witnessing today! It's true. There's no rush to the altar. These things happen, when they're supposed to happen, for everyone with prayer, faith, and patience. I once met a woman, who at 50 years old, was getting married for the first time in her life to the RIGHT man for her. It's better to be by yourself than be with the wrong person. With Jesus by your side, you are not alone.
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[quote="VIPrincessBride"]Patience, Prayer, and Faith....Tell your friend that God will grant all her hearts desire, it you have a WILLING heart to commit to God first....Everything else WILL fall in line. God's word is NEVER void. it juts happens in HIS time! I am glad I waited on HIM. I don't think women do that enough anymore....
Sistah, we are witnessing today! It's true. There's no rush to the altar. These things happen, when they're supposed to happen, for everyone with prayer, faith, and patience. I once met a woman, who at 50 years old, was getting married for the first time in her life to the RIGHT man for her. It's better to be by yourself than be with the wrong person. With Jesus by your side, you are not alone.
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AMEN.
I started not to tell the whole thing. But like you said, better tell it straight...
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
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That is so true. I have seen people marry the wrong ones and once it is done it cannot easliy be undone. I am happy either way being single or dating. I have just been so blessed lately.
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I broke the rules for sure! Well for starters. I broke THE RULE: NEVER MARRY AGAIN. After breaking that rule ...everything else was a blur. Appearance wise, my loving husband isn't someone I would choose, however I fell in love with the best part first: his heart, by then everything else about him was perfect just the way it was.
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