I've got a crazy ex boyfriend who found out about my engagement. He left a message on my machine and said "congratu-f'ing-lations! I heard you and that punk were getting married. You'd better hope I don't find out where!" I broke up with him because he was verbally and mentally abusive and a drug addict. I had him arrested not long after we broke up and he's not allowed to come on my street, he's not supposed to call me either. He hasn't bothered me in the last yr but now I'm wondering if he'll try anything crazy. I spoke with a police officer about it and they're supposed to "handle it". I'm determined to have my wedding at the lake location and I don't want or need any drama from him. I'm afraid to tell FH for fear of a confrontation. Have any of you experienced this or know of someone who has? How was it handled? His family is very supportive and understanding about what I've had to do to him and I would like to include his mom and sister on my guest list because they've been great friends or do y'all think that's a bad idea?
I've got a crazy ex boyfriend who found out about my engagement. He left a message on my machine and said "congratu-f'ing-lations! I heard you and that punk were getting married. You'd better hope I don't find out where!" I broke up with him because he was verbally and mentally abusive and a drug addict. I had him arrested not long after we broke up and he's not allowed to come on my street, he's not supposed to call me either. He hasn't bothered me in the last yr but now I'm wondering if he'll try anything crazy. I spoke with a police officer about it and they're supposed to "handle it". I'm determined to have my wedding at the lake location and I don't want or need any drama from him. I'm afraid to tell FH for fear of a confrontation. Have any of you experienced this or know of someone who has? How was it handled? His family is very supportive and understanding about what I've had to do to him and I would like to include his mom and sister on my guest list because they've been great friends or do y'all think that's a bad idea?
What God has joined together let no man put asunder...
Sugar I am so sorry to hear about what this jerk is doing to you. I was use to talk to this guy a while back, but nothing serious and he wasn't wrapped to tight either. Years passed since I had seen him, but my cousin would always run into him and he would always ask her how I was doing. One day I was sitting out in front of my house with my children and he walked past. I guess he remembered my face and came back and started talking to me. He had this crazy look in his eyes. He then asked me if my oldest daughter was mine and I told him yes. He started asking me why didnt I tell him he had a daughter refering to my oldest daughter. Mind you I haven't seen him since I was 16 going on 17 AND I NEVER HAD SEX WITH HIM. He then started looking around, walking around try to see if anyone was around then started walking back towards my porch. Something told me he was going to do something, so I snathed my kids up and ran in the house and locked my door. He kept knocking on the door and eventually he left. About two or three days later I was on the phone in my living room with the door open but the screen door was closed. This jerk came back to my house and had a picture up to my gate saying look this is your daughter. I was so scared I thought he was taking pictures of my daughter. He had a picture of some other little girl. Then he started saying that it was my daughters sister. I had my best friend on the phone and she asked me if I wanted her to send her brother over there since they lived a few houses down. I told her no because I didnt know what this crazy ass man had on him. I told him to get the hell away from my house before I called the cops and he just walked away. I called my fh and him and his friends came, and they kept coming but he never came back. I also called the police department and told them my story and gave them his name, howwever they told me it was nothing they cold do. They even went so far as saying why didn't I follow him to see which direction he was going. I told them that's why people take matters into there own hands.
Sweetie I know that you care for his family and would love for them to share your special day, however I dont think inviting them or even telling them where your wedding and reception is going to be held would be a good idea. I believe it will cause so much drama. If his family know's where the wedding will be, he will know. I dont really want to scare you, but have you ever heard about that bride who was dating this guy, broke off with him the started dating another guy who proposed to her. The lady and her friends and family was at her house taking pictures, getting ready to go to the church and her ex came in there and killed her.
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House girl you scarin' me! Yes, make sure you document each incident, (but I'm praying there are no more incidents), and tell the police faithfully. Put it in God's hands, and put the ball in the police's court. I assume there is a restraining order in place since he can't come on your street and all. And if and when he violates it via phone call or coming near you, call them again. Plus, its not against the law to tap your own phone or anwering machine, so gather evidence against this man......Stay strong, stay diligent, and be encouraged.....
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Housewife and BBK, thank you. I saw the story of the bride who was killed on her wedding day on "city confidential". Housewife I'm sorry you had to deal with a fool too and even sorrier for the police where you live.I can't believe they said you should have followed him! When I called the police the first time, I had saved all his calls on my ID and they saw 60 calls in less than a 24 hr span! the officer went to the fool's house and warned him. The 2nd time I had to call them the officer was in the house when the phone rang and HE answered it, identified himself and warned him again. When he continued to harass me, that's when he was arrested and the RO was put in place. When I broke up with him I knew there would be drama because fool doesn't take rejection easily. I kinda thought it would be a bad idea to invite his mom and sis. My daughter who hates fool said "Mama, HELL TO THE NO!" I guess they'll read about it in the newspaper, then. BTW, HW-your fool is on some serious street narcotic just like my fool! I'm so glad my God answered my prayers for a good man in my life!
What God has joined together let no man put asunder...
I agree with the other ladies-take all the necessary steps to protect yourself AND your FH; I know u fear a confrontation, but he also has a right to know so he won't b caught off guard; wouldn't u want to know if the shoe was on the other foot?
Ms Renee, I know that you may not have an issue with his family and want to prove as much by inviting them to your wedding, but honey, NO WAY!!! That part of your life is over. You've moved on, been blessed with a wonderful man. NO MORE DRAMA FOR YOU!!! A clean break sister. I'm not saying that you shouldn't say hello to his parents if you saw them on the streets, but aside for "hello" you've got nothing more to say to them. I know that you don't hold them responsible for their son's behavior, but you have a new life now.
I agree with them. Plus, you may want to invest in some security....At the very least it may give you some peice of mind. If not you can have the people managing the entrance to the ceremony and reception site see or keep a picture of this fool in case he comes in and they can either call the police if he is spotted, or just not let them in. The reality of what HW said is that at events everyone doesn't know everyone....I know because we had the Bride's people manning the door at he ceremony, and they would not let me and my brother's family sit in the seats reserved for them. I tried to get them to let my family come early so they can get seated, but they refused to commit to being in place to let them in early...so we had 2 rows of empty seats in the front on the Grooms' side...so thats what alerting the right people to the right information is important....I know it seems like a lot to do for a wedding, but if its good enough for the president, then the security your event is good and important enough to rotate a picture around with the host/hostesses, have the police ready and alert to your upcoming wedding, and even have a pre-wedding security meeting with the hostesses/hosts, etc....Celebrities do it all the time....You are just as good as them....And I tell you what...If that girl had done that, its a big chance she may be a married woman and not a dead one....
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[quote="Bumblebeekee"]I agree with them. Plus, you may want to invest in some security....At the very least it may give you some peice of mind. If not you can have the people managing the entrance to the ceremony and reception site see or keep a picture of this fool in case he comes in and they can either call the police if he is spotted, or just not let them in.[/quote]
BBK, I had to laugh at that! My oldest nephew is more like a son to me and he's very protective. We were all together last night and I told FH and DN about the threat. FH is going to ask some of his friends from the AFB to cover the grounds and doors and my DN says he's going to have a man to junkie chat with the ex and there will be no need for security!
What God has joined together let no man put asunder...
As long as you're covered, that's great. Don't just joke about it girl, make sure it happens and don't take the threats lightly either.
I feel the same way the other ladies feel - DO NOT INVITE THEM! Later on, if you want to, you can just let them know that you couldn't take the risk of him showing up too.
House, I'm sooo happy nothing came of that crazy azz ex! And you're right, that's exactly why some people don't even bother with the police! Their azzes are even crazier than some of these other crazy people.
I had someone (not even an ex), just someone I was talking too told me he was going to kill me and even pulled the gun out on me. As soon as I could break free, I ran like hell. I called the stupid police and they came to my home. Wanted me to call him so he could say something on the phone and before he could say something, the stupid azz police's walkie talkie went off and he heard it. Boy was he mad. I told them, if he wasn't going to kill me then, he's certainly goign to kill me now thanks to you. How stupid can you be??????
well u know they have a "dumb criminals" show...you should have signed the officer's up for the "dumb cop" show! :(
There are alot of sick people in this world.
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OMG!!! This is my worse nightmare. I have not announced my engagement yet in fear of this very situation. Girl, stay safe and watch out for that creep.
nhamer615
Renee42861, did the police write the report? Since he has a record of harassing you, I would make sure EVERTHING is documented.
Sorry Renee42861, I just stated my opinion and I don't even think we "met" lol. Well, congrats on your engagement and welcome to the site!
[quote="housewife147"]but have you ever heard about that bride who was dating this guy, broke off with him the started dating another guy who proposed to her. The lady and her friends and family was at her house taking pictures, getting ready to go to the church and her ex came in there and killed her.
[/quote]
That was a said story, I saw it on Oprah... Not saying this nut bag is that crazy, but from the voicemail... He doesn't seem like his bread is done baking... Don't invite his family, if you'd like to send them a letter or call them to explain why, do that but don't disclose in information about when & where the wedding will be b/c I would hate for your day to be ruined... Best Luck, keep us posted.
It's really sad that you dont know what you are getting into until it is too late.
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Amen sister housewife
I have a cracked-up, crazy ex-husband that is not even closed to being wired right. His family has experienced the action of him and pretty much have written him off. Unfortunately we have 2 beautiful (yet scarred) children together. The family and I are very close, so much as I call her mother. They will be attending the wedding; but rest assure he will not even consider it. (just say there will be too many people there, including his own blood, that would love to have a piece of his hyde.)
My situation is different than yours and I don't feel that you should invite the ex's family especially since the ceremony is in an open area.
Love lights even the darkest of paths.
What Fire doesn't destroy, only makes stronger.
Even when you don't know; God knows. I will be still and let Him do His thing.
Alone in the world; but always in the company of the Lord.
Reading all your stories hurts me to my heart...no one deserves to be treated that way.I dont know what I would do if I was in that situation, thank the lord I never experienced it ... good luck to all you ladies and stay safe.