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help!!

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soon2bmsj
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help!!

FH has decided to not let his sis be in the wedding because of her lack of "committment" (LOL) his mother is deceased and sis was going to stand in for mom (lighting unity candle etc) we had allowed time during our ceremony for a special memorial tribute to his mother and my deceased son where we were going to lay a rose in the pew before we said our vows-well FH has decided since his fall-out w/sis that he is going to come in on Sadie and lay the rose in the pew at that time which leaves me in a dilemma..how am I going to now do the tribute for my son since his rose will already be in the pew? any suggestions???

soon2bmsj
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help!!

FH has decided to not let his sis be in the wedding because of her lack of "committment" (LOL) his mother is deceased and sis was going to stand in for mom (lighting unity candle etc) we had allowed time during our ceremony for a special memorial tribute to his mother and my deceased son where we were going to lay a rose in the pew before we said our vows-well FH has decided since his fall-out w/sis that he is going to come in on Sadie and lay the rose in the pew at that time which leaves me in a dilemma..how am I going to now do the tribute for my son since his rose will already be in the pew? any suggestions???

housewife147
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Re: help!!

I was planning of putting a picture on my bouquet of my deceased grandparents.

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[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;17;90/st/20080718/e/Two+Hearts+Became+One%21/k/b47e/event.png[/img]

soon2bmsj
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Re: help!!

the picture is a nice touch...

ginoue
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Re: help!!

Hi there,

I see that the wedding is in 6 months. A lot could happen during that time. You're in a very difficult situation. Are they christians (your FH and his sis)? If they are, I would suggest that you get them together in a few weeks. Pray first before any conversation starts, and have them speak to each other about how you FH feels hurt by his sis lack of commitment. See if there is room for forgiveness on your FH part and change on your soon to be sis part. If not, do plan b - Housewife's idea - tie a portrait of your son to your bouquet in memorandum of your beloved son.

God bless you and he will see you and your FH through this as well.

soon2bmsj
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Re: help!!

yes they are both Christians-this is y it puzzles me so...my FH is deacon and even talked to some of the brothers about the situation, but until he gives in to self he can't move on...I don't think anything in particular "happened" or like they had a fallout-but it just seems since their mother has passed away they have all drifted apart. I am continuing to pray that God's will be done, and as of right now I will plan to incorporate the portrait.

ginoue
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Re: help!!

msj, I will help you pray, and if you haven't done so, pray with your FH before you both sleep, pray together when you wake up in the morning and neve forget the noon hour as well.

We recognize that the devil is a liar. Now, more than ever is the time when your FH needs your spirituality the most. Don't leave him behind. Pick it up and give it to God.

God bless you and your family.

gavinswife
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Re: help!!

Im new to the site but agree that god will handle it all. The idea of the photo is great. At my wedding reception I had a memorial table for my grandparents and mother in law.y husband has no sister so he danced w/ my mom.

I married my Best Friend on purpose.....
Love self 1st and all else will follow.

soon2bmsj
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Re: help!!

thanks ladies for the encouragement; I know this is a test and I am praying that God gives me the strength and patience to be there for him because I know God has already worked it out for the good!
.

gavinswife
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Re: help!!

I will keep you and your fh in my prayers. Sometime we forget to let go and let God.

I married my Best Friend on purpose.....
Love self 1st and all else will follow.

septbride
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Re: help!!

[quote="GavinsWife"]I will keep you and your fh in my prayers. Sometime we forget to let go and let God.
[/quote]

Amen!

Soon2b, even if your FH decides to take his mom out of the original tribute, you can still do it that way for your son.

futuremrskeepup
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Re: help!!

I originaaly planned to have 6 white roses loosely attached to my bouquet. When I got to the end of the aisle I was going to place them on the pew for our grandparents. FH wants something more subtle though. He says his family is really sensitive on this.

soon2bmsj
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Re: help!!

that's a nice idea; maybe I can lay the rose in the pew for my son as I come down the isle. I still want to do the tribute where someone would explain the red roses in the pews and speak both of their names.

tewright1
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Re: help!!

My memorial plans are to have a representative carry a rose an place it in a memorial vase on the table behind the unity candle. My FH doesn't have anyone. My oldest son will carry a white rose for my grandmother (who raised me), my oldest sister will carry a white rose for my great grandmother, and my youngest son will carry a yellow rose for my great uncle (yellow roses were his favorite). This will be done just before or after the seating of the parents.

Love lights even the darkest of paths.
What Fire doesn't destroy, only makes stronger.
Even when you don't know; God knows. I will be still and let Him do His thing.
Alone in the world; but always in the company of the Lord.

ginoue
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Re: help!!

We're also doing a vase next to our unity candles as well. My lady-in-waiting plan on placing 2 bouquets of six white roses each on the front left pew (honoring, my grandmother & grandfather- who raised me) and our Usher, will be placing a bouquet of six white roses on the front right pew (honoring my FH's father). Then, prior to lighting our candles, my FH and I will walk over to the left pew and pick up the bouquets, then we'll both walk hand in hand picking up the other bouquet to the right. We'll place the roses together in the Memorial vase and light our unity candle.

qt4evr
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Re: help!!

I agree with Ginoue PRAY PRAY PRAY. At our wedding we are doing the Unity sand instead of the Unity candle but we are going to have a picture of my FH father and my grandmother and his mom will light a rememberance candle that is beside his picture and my mom will do the same for my granny. We will be praying with you.

All things worked together for my good...

soon2bmsj
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Re: help!!

FH has decided to not let his sis be in the wedding because of her lack of "committment" (LOL) his mother is deceased and sis was going to stand in for mom (lighting unity candle etc) we had allowed time during our ceremony for a special memorial tribute to his mother and my deceased son where we were going to lay a rose in the pew before we said our vows-well FH has decided since his fall-out w/sis that he is going to come in on Sadie and lay the rose in the pew at that time which leaves me in a dilemma..how am I going to now do the tribute for my son since his rose will already be in the pew? any suggestions???
*******************UPDATE********************UPDATE**************
FH called sis last wk and they were able to talk; she told him she wants to be a part of the wedding but she has been going thru some personal issues and that is y she had not returned his/my calls etc...thanks guys for your prayers!! :)

futuremrskeepup
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Re: help!!

That's great soon2bmsj! I hate to see weddings come between family and friends. With the passing of their mother is all the more important that they stay close. Good for them for working it out!

tiffyb
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Re: help!!

I'm happy to see that all of your prayers were answered soon2bmsj, and that your FH and his sister were able to work things out. I too lost my mother in 2004, so I know how difficult things can be at times, but the only way I made it through, and still continue to do so today is through prayer. So I am looking to do a special memorial to my mother at my ceremony as well. Nothing too extreme, because I'll already be over emotional that day, as will my siblings and everyone else. I'm thinking a photograph might be a bit too much for us to handle, so I am thinking of having a vase and placing a rose or two in it, or something along those lines. I will also include a dedication in the program, and have the pastor (who is my FH's uncle), say a little something about my mom as well. Haven't quite ironed out all of the details just yet, but I have some ideas in mind.

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ginoue
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Re: help!!

msj - God is always on time. Praise the Lord. I've been praying for you and I'm glad that our prayers were answered.

Keep praying, the devil know that he's a liar, but he's also very active. Watch and pray!!!

soon2bmsj
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Re: help!!

thank u ladies so much! we also r going 2 have a memorial tribute during our ceremony 4 his mom and my son; I also thought the pictures might be a bit much 4 the same reasons considering both of our emotional states on that day-especially mine having 2 look at my sons picture...so my sis will do a reading in memory of our loved ones!