I know this subject has been covered before, but I really really need some input as to what I should do. Lets see, I will be getting married July 12, 2008. I have been planning this wedding going on three years now (loooooooooong story). Anywhoo, I have a future MMIL who no one gets along with not even her family members. It has gotten to the point where I am seriously considering not inviting her, but I know that would be wrong. To make matters worse she has two very direspectful children who I really dont want to invite either but for the sake of my FH I will have to invite them.
Now, ladies I am a person who speaks her mind about my life and I will definately speak it about my wedding but this is one subject I am stuck on, what do I do. Where do I sit them, since like I said before she gets along with no one. I cant sit them next to my FH's father and his new wife because they don't get along so that means I cant even put them at a table close by. HELPPPPPPP!!!!
I know this subject has been covered before, but I really really need some input as to what I should do. Lets see, I will be getting married July 12, 2008. I have been planning this wedding going on three years now (loooooooooong story). Anywhoo, I have a future MMIL who no one gets along with not even her family members. It has gotten to the point where I am seriously considering not inviting her, but I know that would be wrong. To make matters worse she has two very direspectful children who I really dont want to invite either but for the sake of my FH I will have to invite them.
Now, ladies I am a person who speaks her mind about my life and I will definately speak it about my wedding but this is one subject I am stuck on, what do I do. Where do I sit them, since like I said before she gets along with no one. I cant sit them next to my FH's father and his new wife because they don't get along so that means I cant even put them at a table close by. HELPPPPPPP!!!!
Have ur FH sit down and talk to them about thier actions. If she gets upset and loses it then don't invite her. Whatever the choice make sure it is a choice that both you and ur FH can live with.
May I ask what is it exactly that makes you not want her to attend?
I have to admit there are two major events in peoples lives that bring out the best and the worst.
Weddings -- Funerals (reading of a will)
Introducng the new Mrs. Durrant!!!
IMO you should let your FH take the lead on this. There may be some inside information that he has that your not aware of and he may be able to work it out quite simply while you are stressing! We know our people and how to deal with them. So basically, put it on this "Honey Do" list!
To make a long story short. Have you ever met that person that their children can do no wrong and yet they do all the wrong that can possibly be done. Then you get "they are minors", but yet instill they don't respect adults not even her. My FH and I (mainly I) have been through so much with MIL that it will be time for my wedding by the time I tell you everything. But when will enough be enough. I have told him that she causes problems, his siblings cause problems and no one is willing to address the situation. I refuse to have people who can't respect anyone present on a day that is supposed to be joyous for everyone, guest included, come there and make a spectacle out of things.
Me and my FH have had so many conversations MzTajsia about his mother's behavior and I have addressed her before about the things that she does and like you said she got on the defensive and as always she gives my FH some ole sob story and crocodile tears. It all boils down to that that it is his mother. Which I can fully understand, but I want him to say to her either they come in a manner where the day will be lovely for everyone or don't come at all.
I dont need her there making smart comments about the ex-husbands wife. I dont need his siblings there acting like they should be in small cages. And can I just add that these so called minors or 17 (twins) and a 19 year old.
I would sit them with there family members.
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Me and my FH talked last night and we have agreed to set some ground rules as far as they are concerned. We have decided to tell her (in a very nice way) that either she and her children can come to our wedding acting like respectable people or risk not being invited. That day is our day a day to enjoy with ALL of our family members and if it feels like she is trying to ruin it or if any of her children do the slightess little thing to make a mockery of that day, me and my FH will kindly ask them to leave.
Thank you ladies for your input :')
Glad you and your FH are on the same page. It makes dealing with these situations so much easier when you have a united front. No one is singled out as the "bad guy."
First, welcome to the boards. It's good that you and FH worked this out. If she or the others cut up, ain't nothing wrong with asking them to leave!
Another question ladies. Where should I sit them?
outside might b nice! LOL wherever it is you need to put them all together because if you seperate them they are still going 2 congregate in the same area..
KBunny75 I just realize I chimed in with my opinion without a formal welcome sooooooooo - WELCOME!
LOL soon2bmsj! Where to sit them depends on the layout of your tables. I would do a mixed room, meaning no bride side or groom side, just bride and groom tables. That way you can have them away from your FH's father without it looking deliberate. Sit them at the same table with eachother, maybe two tables off center and two tables back - or put them in the corner close to the door!
good answer Ms. Future! :)
I really dont understand why you have to tell grown people how to behave. No offense but that is some ghetto mess. I dont think I would want to be bothered with someone so silly for the rest of my life.
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You can't choose your family. As a member of a family with a fair amount of "funny-acting, disrespectful, and loud" women - I'm glad I'm not judged by their actions, though I have a few associates that choose not to stay at my events too long - personalities clash! KBunny75's FH is probably a big opposite to his people!
[quote="housewife147"]I really dont understand why you have to tell grown people how to behave. No offense but that is some ghetto mess. I dont think I would want to be bothered with someone so silly for the rest of my life.
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This is the exact same reason why that groom stood the bride up at the wedding (on Bridezillas) - which I still think was tacky.
Well I looked at the layout of the place and in the back was where I opted to put them. Unfortunately my FH is going to want his mother there. Trust and believe me ladies we have talks about this situation every day. And it is sad to say that I told him that I dont want to deal with her. That is his mother and he can put up with the nonsense all he wants but I refuse to. Sure she can come to the wedding, but if she makes one peep of nonsense she wont be staying long. And another sad thing about this is we have children and I dont even want them around all the nonsense that goes on in her household for fear that one day my children will get caught up in it. All I can do at this point is pray, pray, pray.