My family is acting up! Not that I'm surpised - I knew they would - Just didn't expect it tis early! I haven't even made a formal announcement (but as she gets up in age my mom is becoming news central!) Here are some of THEIR issues:
1. "Why you having your wedding Memorial Day weekend? You know we all go to Wisconsin Dells that weekend every year?" First of all I set up the whole damn trip! This year out of my Granny's 8 kids there was only representation from 4. Everybody started crying broke at the last damn minute and I almost got stuck paying for rooms no one was using. Kiss my...ANYWAY!
2. "Why don't you have any of your family in your wedding party?" The key part of your question, mother, is MY wedding party! My aunts and female cousins do not and have never supported anything I do positive. Now, let me have some drama, they have all the time in the world to conversate! But when I graduated college (twice), none of them were there. Had my second child - MIA (except one that came with her 4 kids - GIFTLESS)! Closed on my home - "Oh, that's good. That's all you called for?" And I should have these people stand beside me? Uh-uh!
3. Why are you trying to do so much? It don't even take all that! Oh, I see. I'm supposed to dumb down and ghetto-fy my wedding to make you more comfortable? I'm sorry, were you paying for this? No? Then how about you shut the hell up and HOPE you get a damn invite?!
Ladies I'm so tired of them already! I know my mom (#2) means well but I think she has a little of the "crabs-in-a-barrel" syndrome with the rest of her people. She knows it will be non-stop drama if I had any of them on the team!
I'm about ready to tell them all "I don't want to ruin tradition. Go to the Dells. Really, I don't mind if you'll miss the wedding. I know you're there in spirit." Ahhhhh, a drama-free day!
My family is acting up! Not that I'm surpised - I knew they would - Just didn't expect it tis early! I haven't even made a formal announcement (but as she gets up in age my mom is becoming news central!) Here are some of THEIR issues:
1. "Why you having your wedding Memorial Day weekend? You know we all go to Wisconsin Dells that weekend every year?" First of all I set up the whole damn trip! This year out of my Granny's 8 kids there was only representation from 4. Everybody started crying broke at the last damn minute and I almost got stuck paying for rooms no one was using. Kiss my...ANYWAY!
2. "Why don't you have any of your family in your wedding party?" The key part of your question, mother, is MY wedding party! My aunts and female cousins do not and have never supported anything I do positive. Now, let me have some drama, they have all the time in the world to conversate! But when I graduated college (twice), none of them were there. Had my second child - MIA (except one that came with her 4 kids - GIFTLESS)! Closed on my home - "Oh, that's good. That's all you called for?" And I should have these people stand beside me? Uh-uh!
3. Why are you trying to do so much? It don't even take all that! Oh, I see. I'm supposed to dumb down and ghetto-fy my wedding to make you more comfortable? I'm sorry, were you paying for this? No? Then how about you shut the hell up and HOPE you get a damn invite?!
Ladies I'm so tired of them already! I know my mom (#2) means well but I think she has a little of the "crabs-in-a-barrel" syndrome with the rest of her people. She knows it will be non-stop drama if I had any of them on the team!
I'm about ready to tell them all "I don't want to ruin tradition. Go to the Dells. Really, I don't mind if you'll miss the wedding. I know you're there in spirit." Ahhhhh, a drama-free day!
FMKP - Girl welcome to the world of weddin planning. All I can say is ignore the haters, which I have started to do, and have the wedding that you and FI want. I could have and still do care less about it being a holiday weekend. That's what worked best for us and the priest. Also remember that you cannot please everyone and its their choice as to if they want to share in your joy or not. Can you tell that I am in a preachy mood today?!?!?!?
I have to a agree with b2b.
It looks like you will be redoing your guest list bucz I will be damn if I sent an invite to one person that had a negative word.
Do you watch Bridezillas. You saw the one where the dude didn't show up. He said "It's her family and I have to deal with that" After all said and done her daughter had a nerve to say she still excepted him to show up.
Make sure u have people there that will be there to support you not tear you down!! Bcuz even if they don't say it to you they will say it. Then it will get back to you.
START AXING DOWN THE GUEST LIST!!!! ALL HATERS CAN GO TO.....
Introducng the new Mrs. Durrant!!!
HELLO! I certainly agree! And you think this is something? You just wait until you're 4 - 6 months to go!
[quote="FutureMrsKeepUp"]
3. Why are you trying to do so much? It don't even take all that! Oh, I see. I'm supposed to dumb down and ghetto-fy my wedding to make you more comfortable? I'm sorry, were you paying for this? No? Then how about you shut the hell up and HOPE you get a damn invite?!
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Girl why is it that people who aren't paying a dime for your wedding always have something to say about how much you spend on your wedding. I was going to post something about this but never did. I have a aunt who all throughout the planning kept telling my mother "I know you ain't spending all your money on Pam's wedding, she don't need all that to get married." But when the day finally came, you would have thought she had something to do with it all, walking around all proud and what not. WTF!!!
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
I worry about this from my Dad's side of the family. FH and I are having 60 people but we have a lot of siblings nieces and nephews(he has 7 siblings and I have 3 siblings and 9 nieces and nephews so you see that immediate family is sucking up all the invites) so I worry that my Dad and his family will think I'm bring stuck up or ashamed of them (you know one time my dad told me that I could give the impression to people that I am too good for them, and what he really means is his family could get that impression). I was floored. Anybody who know me how real I am (FH calls me his little hoodmouse)But you know what, none of those yoohoo's are paying for it, none of them have anything to do with me and FH's life so they can kick rocks if they have a problem with how I want my wedding. I'm not inviting most of my mom's family either because I don't have anything to do with them anyway. I can't stand for people who chose to have nothing to do with you growing up wanna show up when you're older and doing good for yourself trying to act like they're supposed to have a place in your life. All of those mofo's can kick rocks.
Do I seem bitter???
No, boo, not at all!!!!!!!!!!!! Kick rocks people!!!
Ok when doing our list this is how we did it.
Family (immediate)
Extended that we've speak to constantly
extended spoken in the past year or seen.
extended family and friends we've spoken to at least five times in the last five years.
if you fell out of the five yr mark family brother sister cousin neice friend you were not invited.
We had an aunt who never liked my DH as a child, hasn't seen him since he was 10 he's 35 now and doesn't speak to my MIL unless its to ask for money or complian about her health. Call us directly and tell us that she would be attending the wedding and bringing someone.
I told my MIL that if that is the case then the gift better be good.
She was a no show, and she was unplanned for.
Like I said in my 1st response. start axing away. anyone that has a negative or hater comment can see the pics that other people took, cuz I don' want you touching my professional ones. It is that serious.
Weddings are to expense and important to have meal tickets ad haters there. Loved ones only put that on your invite.
Introducng the new Mrs. Durrant!!!
I told my mom how I felt and she had already forgot about it - "Girl you know I don't pay any attention to those fools!" But mom, you were being one of the fools asking me to add them to my bridal party! She says its ultimately up to me and she was just mentioning it, not demanding it!
I agree with not having people who don't support you, your union, or always having negative comments in attendance. My mother was getting married about 3 years ago. I told her I would NOT be there because I was dead set against her former boyfriend! Everyone thought I was wrong but I felt it would be unfair to her had I been there. How could I have stayed quiet - "If there's anyone here..." LOL
If one more negative thing is said by anyone my response will be, "On May 24, go play in traffic cause you will NOT be at my wedding!"