Help me choose a maid of honor...

I am having an issue deciding who should be the maid of honor at our wedding. I would really like to choose my sister, because we are family. But, we are totally different. Her idea of a good bachelorette party would be getting drunk and having a stripper. Mine would be a great lunch with my friends, a day at the spa, or maybe even a girls' camping trip.

My best friend knows all of these things because we are so alike. Plus, I think she could help out more with the wedding plans. Is it possible to have two maids of honor? Please let me know! Thanks, Chuniqua

Yes, you can do whatever you like to do. It's your wedding. I have a maid of honor and a matron of honor and both of them are single. My matron of honor was married before but now she is divorced so all the rule books say that she can still be my matron of honor. I think you should do whatever makes you happy. I have my best friend and my closest cousin as my maid/matrons but I don't have any sisters. I think having two maids will solve your problem.!

I think you can have two only on a couple of conditions.

1. They both get along. You don't want them fighting over different ideas of how the wedding should go.. or
2. One of them will back off a little and let you and the other plan your wedding.

This may seem cold, but your sister sounds the absolute opposite to you and I smell STRESS! lol

Two are acceptable. I have a maid and a matron of honor for my wedding. The only other choice you have to make is deciding who will stand beside you. One of the two women I choose was upset that she wasn't the one standing beside me, but I just made sure that she didn't feel like she was loved any least than the one who stood beside me.

One way to reduce the stress of who will stand next to you is to let the one who isn't standing next to you to sign your marriage license. The other one(who stands next to you) is responsible for holding the groom's ring and holding your bouquet.

I really like the idea of two people doing it. Especially if one is signing and the other is acting attendant. Cool.

This one is an old post but I needed to say something here. I think you should choose who is the right fit for you..when I got married, I HAD to choose my sister because my bestfriend got pregnant and did not want to be hot and miserable...when she got married she chose her sister but I ended up doing all the tweaking - you know things that a maid of honor should notice like a twisted necklace or headpiece etc etc etc. I think the maid of honor should really be based on who has your back the most and sometimes that is not really your sister.

amen.

Hm! and if Rosey agrees..you know I gatta be right!

I know this is a very old post but i'm having a similar problem. I'm trying my best to keep my wedding party, ceremony, and reception small. The main way i'm accomplishing this is by only asking people who i know will be supportive to participate or attend. here's my dilemma. i want my two best friends, one mentor, and my only sister in the bridal party. closer best friend will be MOH and cross country best friend and my sister wiil be bridesmaids while my mentor will be Matron of honor. now my family is very small and i only have 2 cousins, one boy and one girl. several people have pointed out that my girl cousin will be offended if i don't ask her to be a bridesmaid but the truth is, she's possibly the flakiest person on the planet. adding her will skew my numbers and probably create more work for me (or another BM) to do. to top it all off, my cousin is a killjoy, that's just her nature. she doesn't mean to be a downer but she can never seem to get excited about anything. my greatest fear is that intellectually and practically she'll understand why i didn't ask her but her feelings will still be hurt. should i succumb to peer pressure? or maybe put her in charge of reading a poem or something where all she has to do is show up? HELP! delicate family politics!

Stand your ground. My sister went off when I announced that I wanted my nieces in my bridal party. I am not giving in. Pick who you feel will do the best job. If you know she is flaky, leave her out. Let her be an usher or read a poem. That way if she acts nasty someone else can fill in.

I am having a problem as well. I have choosen 5 women to be in my wedding(1 maid of honor-4 bridesmaids). All of the women are close friends of mine from childhood, but one of them mismanages her money. I would love to have her in my wedding, but I dont know if I am ready to deal with facing a potential problem with her not being able to get all of her stuff on time.

I would suggest asking her. You may end up with an uneven bridal party if she flakes. You could always push the dates up for things. Tell her the deposit is due weeks before it really is and add so of her expenses for hair/make-up etc to your budget. My maids are young so I expect to have to help them pay for things.

I have a simular situation now. I originally picked my cousin as a bridesmaid and I KNOW she doesnt manage her money well but I wasnt tripping becasue my grandmother said she would keep her money for the wedding. Ok NOW she's pregnant and she still wants to be in the wedding.I have to tell her she cant be in the wedding anymore. She will be 7-8 months by the time my weddinn comes and the dresses I picked (she picked actually, before she got pregnant) does not allow for big bellies. My grandmother and mother told her but now I have to do so (I didnt tell them too they just did).
Now I have to find a replacement, maybe her sister.

Allies, maybe you can find another roll for her in the wedding instead of kicking her out totally. lol Maybe she can read something.

Too bad you're in Cali, Allie (hey, that rhymes!)...I'd be your BM in a heartbeat!

OK LADIES I KNOW THIS IS AN OLD POST BUT I HAVE TO TELL U. THE 1ST TIME I GOT MARRIED, I ASKED MY GODSISTER TO B IN MY WEDDING PARTY AS A BRIDESMAID, AND MY SISTER IN LAW, WHO I WAS CLOSEST TO AT THAT TIME TO BE MY MOH. NO ONE UNDERSTOOD WHY!! MY GODSISTER AND I WERE CLOSE GROWING UP BUT I WAS CLOSE ENOUGH TO KNOW SHE MISMANAGES MONEY AND IS VERY UNRELIABLE!!!! A MOH IS THAT PERSON WHO MAKES OR BREAK THE BRIDE! SHE IS THE 1 TO MAKE IT HAPPEN 4 YOU AS FAR AS MAKING THIS EASY OR HARD. SURE ENOUGH, MY GODSISTER DROPPED OUT DUE TO MONEY ISSUES AND THEN PURPOSELY TOLD ME WHEN MY SURPRISE SHOWER/BACHELORETTE PARTY WAS. WHEN THERE WAS A PROBLEM WITH THE GIRLS, I NEVER KNEW CUZ I PICKED THE PERFECT PERSON FOR THE JOB. SHE HANDLED EVERYTHING FROM FITTING SCHEDULES AND MAKING SURE ALL THE GIRLS HAD TRANSPORTATION TO AND FROM TO HAIR APPTS AND JUST EVERYTHING. BELIEVE ME, DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO TO MAKE YOUR DAY EASIER!!! WHEN MY COUSIN GOT MARRIED SHE DID NOT LISTEN. THE NIGHT B4 HER WEDDING SHE WAS IN TEARS SINCE HER GIRLS AND MOH WERE NT ORGANIZED AND SHE HAD TO DO EVERYTHING. EVEN TAKING THEM TO GET DRESSES,ALTERATIONS AND HAIRDO'S.

Taj, it sounds like you had a WONDERFUL MOH. That's what I'm talking about! Anyhoo, you're right on who/how to choose your MOH! Everyone should take this into consideration when choosing MOH's.

Ditto!

They perosn that I picked to be my moh is very reliable,all of the women that I am having in my wedding is dependable except one. She mismanages money and I am afraid that she will not come through for me. I have been friends with her since the 6th grade and would be upset if she could not be in my wedding, and I know that she would be equally hurt if I did not include her.