Downsizing Wedding Party

It's an honor to be asked to participate in a friends marriage ceremony. You don't want anyone to feel slighted. I really don't see how downsizing will save money, the people you ask to step down will still be at the wedding and reception, right? Can you make a change in the catering, or the wedding favors? When is your wedding?

Girl! I knew that is what was up. lol. It's ok to resent a bridesmaid. I would not ask her to resign as a bridesmaid, but give her a deadline. She has until January 2006 to buy her dress for the wedding IN RED. If she is unhappy about it, ask her sweetly if she would rather stand down as a bridesmaid and ask her if there is some other role she would like to play in the wedding.

If she keeps giving you drama, fire her! As a mentioned before, 'it's an honor to participate in your day'. The broad is probably jealous.

Marquita01, remember it is your day and your way!!!! Phenomonique, you have a sister cracking up over here!!! (lol).

Phenomonique I took your advice. One of my bridesmaids started tripping already. All my bridesmaids had input on their gown selection, well one of them all of a sudden doesn't think tangerine will work with her complexion. That hooker asked me to change my colors to something that will 'show case her assets'. She just had a breast reduction so she thinks everyone on the free planet want to see her ta-ta's. Well I SHOWed her where to SET her A** instead. She continued to act up so I gave her the Donald Trump, You're Fired! Have people gone mad? Am I in the twilight zone and nobody bothered to tell me? Don't get me wrong, we all tried to reason with her, but she was just hell bent on getting her way. This is my wedding, and unless my sweetie said he wasn't happy with our color, who the heck does she think she is to ask such a thing.

You are too funny. Alright Mary J., No more drama in your life! LOL

Yeah, Babieluvbug, she had to go! You did the right thing. She can wear the color she wants sitting right in the audience on your wedding day!
She is still invited right???? LOL

Babieluvbug, I'm feeling you girl. I had the something similar happen to me at my first fitting and needless to say she was "fired!!!" After all it's your wedding and if you allowed input on the dresses than she should have been reasonable and spoke up ( the right way). Not only did I get rid of on e girl but I excused two. I'd rather have in my wedding party the ones' that are truly into helping make my day successful and not the jealous ones'.Lucky me she didn't even come to the wedding and didn't speak to me for about 3 months after that. Now it's our 1st anniversary ( 8/21 woo hoo) and guess who's calling me to say "so what do you and the Mr. have planned for your big day" . . .heffa please. Girl don't let blind friendship ruin your special moment.

It is a dreadful task, but do you really want a bitter strumpet around to rain on your parade? And if skank-ella doesn't come to the wedding it's one less fee for catering. These are the times when you find out if you friends are fair-weather or forever.

Marquita01, I'm glad you got everything str8. People need to realize that it's YOUR day!! And if they can't be supportive, then they need to hit the road (Jack).LOL. I'm still in the process of picking out the wedding party. Good luck, Sis!!

Ya'll know what...we put too much drama on ourselves as if planning a wedding wasn't enough. Listen here why take on anybody and their foolishness. As of today [October 3, 2005] I am offically placing myself as bouncer for the vibrides...anyone give you'll trouble, I'll be there. This is ludacris, you gonna tell me what you want at MY wedding...I don't think so, straight up it's my way or the highway and do not let the door knock you on the way out.

Marquita01, I am glad to hear everything worked out for you. Some people have a lot of nerve. Good Luck!

You guys are soo hilarious! I've always said from just being maid of honor going on 3 times and bridemaid twice, that hopefully we will just have one person standing up for us when we do it. The less participants, the less drama.

Can I just say I love being part of this family....You all are wonderful

Isn't this site wonderful...when I am at work with nothing to do (shh don't tell my boss) lol, you better believe I am on vibride. :-). Don't let the server be down again....oh my! Technical Services will be in trouble. I think I am actually addicted to this site [lol]

i would have to agree with CharlotteModebe i'm addicted to this site [lol] there are so many smart and helpful woman on here. i'm the site when i'm at work and at school. this site is so great and i'm thankful that i found it when i did. Ms.phenomonique & Ms.Rosetta you ladies are the best.

WOH! here I go... I'm so new to this, so roll with me. Basically, I've had issue with distance for a while... one of my best friends has been "back home" for over 6 years and thus, we're basically phone homies. I've resented that she hasn't come to visit me in my new city - even when I've offered to pay. I do dearly love the girl, so as soon as I got engaged, I called her... A missing link in the story is when we were much younger she had sex with my "first" knowing full well what she was doing. We were young, weren't friends for some years and then reconvened... she promised me that he was a stupidity trip, she was young, etc. and I believed that. Fast forward to now.

The second time I talked to her about the wedding... she tells me she's been talking to him for a month, and he's talking about flying her out to Oregon - where he now works... it stirred up old feelings of distrust... and I haven't talked to her since. Not only do I not want her to be in my wedding anymore, I may not want to be her friend anymore... thoughts?

Honey,WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS CHICK????I Don't blame you for not wanting her to be in your wedding or her friend for that matter.Have you talked to her about your feelings?She probably doesn't think that she's doing anything wrong.She's probably thinking that since you're over and done with him,it's okay for her to pursue him.Tell her how you feel and maybe you can get past this.God Bless.

Hmm maybe there was more between them than she was letting on. Don't have her at your wedding, bukketsohoney. It will make you all sour on a day when you should be all sweetness. AND she is more than a little trifling. She knows it's not cool and I think she is trying to tell you that by not coming to visit and letting you know the deal. What would you do if he were her date at the wedding?

Bukketsohoney, welcome to the site! Please do yourself a favor and lose this chick. She is not worth the time or the effort and she will only bring heart ache and drama! You got a wedding to think about, put your energy there and don't take a second look at this woman.

I wouldn't want her at my wedding either. And I agree with Platinumstyle and Rosetta. Don't let her ruin your day. And the only way she will know how you feel and where you stand about the situation, is to be upfront with her. Best wishes.

:)

Point Blank, I brought my feelings to her attention and she got way more than excited about something that to me was about our trust and not my first. She rehashed all her feelings about the situation, how she felt about him, etc... and it reminded me that she would go to any extreme to get what she wants, including compromise our friendship. When she got to the part where she said she's an adult and can do whatever she wants to, and I got a man now so why am I worried, I let her know we weren't friends anymore. Thanks for your insight everyone. Sometimes we lose sight of our priorities "wooken pa nub." Y'all have a wonderful day!!!

Hey Bukketsohoney, girl my heart goes out to you for the loss of the person you thought was your friend. But you did the right thing, by kicking her butt to the curb! You will be a lot better off without the drama! Good luck!

Nah you'll know Charley is full of drama right?...anyway here goes....the same thing happened to me the only thing it was my sister who slept with my boyfriend.....(close you'll mouth and eyes)...I wanted to kill her but I did not because there is more than one way to skin the cat...I kill her with kindness and the guilt rips her apart...she wanted to explain the situation and I said "that's not necesseary", at one point I even started staying away and when we did hook up again----she wanted to do everything in the world to please me, she even spent $350.00 on junk for my children in the groery store (guilt)and not once did I ever mention the situatio to her. This girl (tramp/slut) forgive me ladies but their are somethings you just do not do and messing with a sista's man is a difinite NO NO!...give this heffer an invitation and treat her with love and affection and move on---you're the bride and not her. Men do not buy the cow when they can get the milk free. IF YOU GET MY DRIFT!.....

Oh my goodness, girl when I here your stories, my heart truly goes out to you! I must say Charly you are an angel, I don't know if I could've been so kind. Anyway, this just confirms my belief that you must plan your wedding around you and your FH. Anyone that can't get with the program, needs to get to steppin!

Need to get the stepping or need to get kick. If it wasn't for the grace of God......

.....there would be a lot of hurt people out there!

I'm kind of divided when it comes down to what I'd do if I was in your situation,Bukketsohoney.On one hand, I wouldn't even want to look at the trifling "heffa". But on the other hand,I'd want to invite her as a guest and show her that she cannot steal your joy!Show her that you are the real winner by letting her see your beautiful ceremony.But remember this, a relationship built in a trifling matter will not survive.They won't last.Best of luck and God Bless.

Rony you being to kind...they would not be hurt, they would be dead.....people/women need to stop triffling.

[quote="CharlotteModebe"] the same thing happened to me the only thing it was my sister who slept with my boyfriend...I wanted to kill her but I did not because there is more than one way to skin the cat...I kill her with kindness and the guilt rips her apart. [/quote]
That is very civil of you to put it in God's hands like that. I am not such a mature person. It is riling me up just to hear that Charley. Oh My GOSH! I have two sisters and we love each other very much. But, we also don't have the same taste in men. GOd bless you.

Thank you so much for the blessings Rosey....it was a most difficult time and I was not even saved when I let it slip...the girl is so lucky she do not even know it. I think that is why God blesses me so much and I thank Him that He gave me the heart I have cause between her and my ex-husband all two of them could have been dead.

Charly ..."there would be dead people"... girl you are too much. But I agree people need to stop being so trifling. If they were content and happy with their own lives, this kind of nonsense would not exist.

Rony that is true ya know....it is always some fool trying to steal your joy especially if you are or they think you are contented and happy...but you know what? the word of God says we wrestle not against flesh and blood,......so sometimes we really gatta look at it that way. If it was not for the grace of God......

Charly you better preach gurl!!!!!!

After the enemy tried to mess with my first born this past week I waged war on him so whenever I have an opportunity to speak of God's grace and mercy....I WILL!

That is why I appreciate you so much, my dear friend you are not ashamed of the Gospel!!!!!!

Hallelujah...no I am not. I am saved, I am being saved and I will be saved thru God my savior. Amen!