Bride Moment of Reflection

You said it yourself that you have to be excited for yourselves and that is so true. It is a shame that your future MIL has no reason not to like you, but she harbors these feelings and and ignores you. Shame on her! It would be a shame for you to become apart of a new family and have her act like this. Has your fiance asked his mother about her feelings towards you? How does he feel about the way she is acting?
You just continue on with your head up and keep making the best of the situation as I see that you are. Hopefully, your future MIL will come around, but if not, that will be something that will weigh heavy upon her heart especially if you would like her to be a part of you and your FH's lives.
Good luck to you and stay strong!

You know I have the same problem. I am 26 by the way. I asked a good friend of mine if she was going to help me plan and her response was (Why should I help you plan? I don't even know who he is?). She was totally unsupportive of me so ever since then I do not talk to here about him, or any of my wedding plans. My sister was totally pissed at first to the point that she called my mom and told her not to buy me my dress because that will only encourage me. That if I wanted to get married I should do everything myself. She has come around a lil but I'm still not buying it. My thing is that if you are a true friend no matter if you agree or disagree you should be supportive.

Hi Ladies,

I too am experiencing the same thing with a few close friends that I truly thought would be in my corner. They were there for me through a lot of challenges I faced. Ever since I announced my engagement to this man -- someone that I have known for approx. 17 years (we didn't date that whole time). My friends have nothing nice to say, they say things like "I hope you're happy", "How much money does he make" and all kinds of other inappropriate questions that I dare not post here. It has gotten so bad that I just don't even talk about him to them anymore. Now the questions are "Are you and Isaac still together, I don't here you talking about him anymore." This experience has taught me who my true friends are. It is amazing how a man can change how people treat you. I am hurt, but I have made up my mind that this is my life. I do have the support luckily of my mom and sister. His mother is deceased, although when she was alive she acted as if she didn't like me. His sister tolerates me, but my fiance's position is this "That is the woman I am going to marry and if no one likes it, then that is their problem, not mine. I am happier than I have ever been in my life and I am grateful for the support that I do have. Although it hurts to see people who I thought were my friends turn their back on me, I am prepared to move on -- without them if necessary.

I am so sorry to hear about you ladies MIL issues, just remember to always respect her, what she does will be on her conscience and she has to answer to God for herself. There is a saying 'True friends are like diamonds precious but rear, false friends are like autumn leaves found everywhere". Ladies be encouraged and live for happiness only, prove all those haters wrong.

I had heard friend of mine speak of going through this type of thing, but never experinced it myself. But it still hurts me when I hear this, How can anyone be so cruel. Laying in the cut waiting for something to go wrong so they can say 'I told you so'. Life is hard enough, we should always encourage each other. ALWAYS! There are far too many daily trials to face. Family and friends are supposed to be ou backbones. When something happens, good or bad, you have no on to share it with. Turn them all over to God, he'll work on them.

I know that's right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ladies isn't love and a wonderful, precious and exciting thing.....Ya'll want make me feel like doing a cart wheel in the middle of my office :-) and what makes love even better is Love angainst all odds!!!!!!!!!! "Can I get a High 5"

LOL!!!

High 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!

May a many of God's Blessing Rain on you today, tomorrow and forever in you and your future husband life.
May God Blessing your MIL.Because in this time you will need to find in your heart not to be trouble with anyone including her. God say for man to leave his father and mothers' house and take him a wife and that is his family and he must cleave to his wife and the same for you.YOU ARE NOW CONSIDER ONE BODY Remember in this time and future people will say and do anything to put a damper on what God has instore for you. Be not trouble look in your heart and find peace that is the only way both of you will make it (you have this far)remember to trust one another because it is true without trust how can you say you love. it is the bases that you work from. I have been married for 10years and have gone thur what you are going thur now. but I was told I was a gold digger. Yes it hurt but I did not let my MIL stop me. She was not the reason my husband and I were together it was God so we helded on to each other as our lives depend on it and still do with God First.Underlined TextTrue friends dont let each other down so pick your wedding party very very closly.Go by what they do for you and say. you do not negative only postive people in your life. believe if someone is being negative it will rain on your parade and you will feel the different. So I will pray for the change of heart of your MIL and anyone else that may be negative and that they find God in their heart to be postive in what is right May Your Lord Bless you now, tomorrow and in your future forever.

I too was going thru some of those same types of reactions. Not from my MIL, but from friends whom I thought were frineds. One person I called the day I got engaged, asked me "Why would I want to spend money on getting married when we have been living together all of these years?" I could not believe what was coming out of her mouth. For so many years, she was the one that I called sister/friend/road-dawg. She was true meaning of friend. And then to hear her say those things to me, in such an unamusing voice really hurt. So I have just stopped talking to her. My fiance said that I should just let it go and focus on other things; like what a wonderful time we are going to have living our best lives together. I agree with the other female vibrider who said that if noone else wants to be excited about your future wedding, let the excitment start, begin and end with the both of you. When all is said and done, there will be noone left but you and your man. So, let go of those bad vibes and let GOD work his wonderful magic in your life.

I'm just six days away from our wedding and boy do I need this moment of reflection! Granted, planning a wedding is stressful in itself (esp. in 6 months) so it has been great to see things coming together. Despite all the drama, haters, family fights, money woes, vendor cancellations etc...my FH and I are still standing. Be encouraged my sisters, we are a part of a legacy, a legacy of strong women who came before us and will in turn follow behind....lets keep the sister circle going.

Ladies I know just what you all are going through. First of all my best friend stop speaking to me when I told her that we were getting married. Never gave me a reason, just stopped returning my phone calls. Her father gave me away at my wedding (my father passed last year) that is how close I am with this family. I had friends that were supposed to be in the wedding and at the last minute decided that they didn't want to. And to make matters worse I barely talk to my own mother. We (my mother and I) never had a close relationship and when I told her that my husband and I were getting married she didn't want anything to do with it. We (my husband and I) were married before for 3 years and got a divorce. During the two years that we were divorced, we continued to see each other and did what we needed to do to make things work. On Saturday we were re-married. My mother didn't help me do anyting. Not shop for a dress, pick out colors or flowers. Nothing. She didn't even show up to my bridal shower. She wasn't going to the wedding until my aunt got in her case. She then shows up to the wedding and ask my son's God-mother why did she do so much for me and my son when she has 3 daughters and 6 grandchildren. That was not the time nor the place for that. My mother in law is just evil. She is the type of person that likes to keep trouble started. For instance her son didn't invite his aunts to the wedding because of their feeling towards me, but she told them that I didn't invite them. Of course that gave them all the reason to attempt to curse me out when they saw me. But I didn't give in to that. I just let my husband know what happened when I did see them. She then called my husband and told him that when we were there in August that my son walked out her house and called her by her first name (my son is not my husband's). That pissed me off. First of all if it happened in August why are you calling two weeks befor my wedding with this crap. Andd further more my don' doesn't call any adult by their first name because I would slap the taste out of his mouth. My family didn't allow us to do it and I don't allow my son to do it. Now I'm not saying that my son is a saint (Lord knows sometimes I want to hurt the child for the things that he does) but I know he didn't do that. And to add fuel to the fire she didn't even come to the wedding. She lives 6 hours away from us and decided the morning of the wedding to leave. She claims that she got stuck in traffice so she just turned around and went home. I personally think that she never left her home. I think the lady is looney. Anyway I have decided that I don't want nor need any phony people in my life. God has blessed me and my husband to work things out and with or without them we will be happy. It's a hard pill to swallow when the people that you thought would be in your corner aren't there for you. I have been told that it is time for me to let these people go. My husband tells me that God is waiting for me to let go of these people and he will send me a true friend. So I am now doing just that. It hurts because I don't have my sisters here either. One lives in Florida and the other is stationed in Missouri. But I know that God will take care of me. I just continue to study his word and praise him. I know that HE will work it out. I will keep you ladies in my prayers. Maybe my testimony can be encouragement for you. I don't have time to give right now but like the song writer say "As I look back over my life and I think things over, I can truly say that I've been blessed I got a testimony." You ladies have a blessed day.

To all you ladies that are having MIL problems, etc., stay encouraged and do not and I mean do not let anyone come between you and your FH/Husband.

Reading all these issues has me tired....are we really a heartless people, why can't we be happy for one another? You know what ladies, I love this site and you ladies and even though we have never met, I can't not see myself living without you all (true, I run to this computer to read your notes). But I want to you to know that God is still on the throne, don't you ever do anything, think anything, or say anything to anyone of those people who hurt you that will block your blessings. LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE ABOUT ME. I am 35 married for the first time 7-31-1994 to a man I thought was my one true love, he beat me and left me and to make matters worst stop paying the mortgage on the house so our 2 children and I got evicted and to top matters of I lost my job. It was the worst period of my life, but through all that, never once did I let the enemy win.....for I am more than a conqueror thru the almighty God who strengthens me. I was able to find an apartment, I have a good job now and never once have I ever said a bad word about him, yes I hated hime for a period because I am human but when i pray I ask God to bless him and I do it with a good heart because the word of God tells me that the battle is not mine... I know that God will bless 10,000 times in return. I say this to say that never let anyone block your blessing no matter how bad the person has hurt you. Be encouraged and God bless you and I love you all.

hi ladies I'm very sorry that you all had to experience so many negative reactions instead of good.But I can trully say there are some MIL that are wonderful like mine.Deceased now but she was my best friend I can trully thank God for her.Just keep loving your partner and when they realize that your not going anywhere and your there for the long run and have there son's best intrest at heart they will come around just keep praying for them.

CharlotteModebe, you are so beautiful. Reading your message almost brought tears to my eyes because it is just so true. I truely applaud you for not losing faith during that time in your life and for overcoming it. You are a mighty strong woman and you have helped me to see to just let God handle any problems that I'm having and to not hate because it blocks my blessings. Thank You.

Sugerbear girl you stopped me right in the midst of my Wendy's classic junior sandwich :-) thank you so much for thinking of me that way. You ladies may not realize it but we are a sistahood, we support each other, we encourage each other, we advise each other....we are family. If all women in this world were able to get on like that can you imagine a place this world would be. Rosetta I want to thank you for this site, I am so proud to be here, I want to thank all you Vibriders. God bless you and may his face shine upon you always. I love you ladies, Charlotte.

THANK YOU. CHARLOTTE! My MIL and I were never to get along. She tried when she was diagnosed with cancer, but it was strained for me. Peple will hate on you. Not everyone can be loving. It is hard for women to lose their sons to another woman. Those of you with sons of your own can understand. Will anyone be good enough?

Charlotte, you are truly a beautiful, remarkable and strong woman. I went through so much with my first husband too, but he did not beat me. With God in my life, I stayed strong. I raised my children, have a good job, and own two houses (second house with my new husband). Something that I would not have ever accomplished with my first husband. And God blessed me a second time with a good husband. To my Vibride family -- stay strong and encouraged. God Bless you all.

Thank you 2ndTime for thinking I am remarkable. It has been trying but with God for me who dare challenge Him ah!

Are any of you ladies going through something like this?