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My Second, His First HELP!!

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aaishah
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My Second, His First HELP!!

How do I make this wedding so everyone is happy. I had a first wedding and I am not too excited (yet) about having another "wedding" He's never been married and wants the bells and whistles, how do I keep him happy, without feeling self conscious about having another big wedding????

aaishah
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My Second, His First HELP!!

How do I make this wedding so everyone is happy. I had a first wedding and I am not too excited (yet) about having another "wedding" He's never been married and wants the bells and whistles, how do I keep him happy, without feeling self conscious about having another big wedding????

In Sha Allah

nlbostic
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Re: My Second, His First HELP!!

AaIshah, as you already know, experiencing a wedding for the first time is one of the most exciting experiences one could ever have. I don't think that he should be deprived of the big day if that's what he wants. I also understand your view in that you have been there and done that already. The two of you should have serious conversation about it and compromise with each other. Have you set a budget? My suggestion would be to have a budget that the 2 of you aagree on and work within it. Thatwould make both of you happy. Either that, or you give in. Hopefully, you'll never have to do it again : )

aaishah
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Re: My Second, His First HELP!!

I agree with the hopefully never having to do this again! It's kind of hard, because he says everything is up to me and whatever I want. I could go to the court house and be happy, but than he will be talking about limos and how many weddings he has been in so he guess he'll ask all of them to be in his wedding (10)!! In the next breath its all up to me. I am literally making my self sick. I have even told him let's not have a wedding, just me and him, but I could see the disappointment on his face. Budget, he told me to plan the wedding of my dream and he's got me! I just sat there looking at him. He's thinking around 20,000 and I was thinking maybe 5. See how far apart we are. I don't know what I am going to do....

In Sha Allah

nlbostic
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Re: My Second, His First HELP!!

I feel you on this one AaIshah. It's obvious that he wants to have a big wedding. Let him know that if were totally up to you, you wouldn't have a wedding, but you want to make him happy. You need to come to a common ground. Your budget is $5000, his budget is $20000...so try to agree on maybe a $10-$12k budget. You can have a beautiful wedding. I wish you all the best. Wish I had some other answers for you. Good luck!

aaishah
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Re: My Second, His First HELP!!

Thanks. I think I am going to do the dream wedding, but it will be my dream and I am going to do a strict budget, I would rather put the money into a house.

You are close to us, we are in Philly!

Aa' Ishah

In Sha Allah

daughterrhonda
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Re: My Second, His First HELP!!

I know thats right AaIshah! My FH and I are both getting married for the first time and have set a budget of $5,000. We would rather have money left for a down payment on a house. I too would be ok with having a civil ceremony. My FH is very excited about having a "big bash". While we both want to have awesome memories, we have opted for an "intimate" wedding. We have trimmed our guest list to the max and will only have family & close friends who mean the most to us. I believe the pictures, the sharing & the event of having of family and friends share in the most important day of lives is what is important.

Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37

aaishah
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Re: My Second, His First HELP!!

I think we will going with the intimate wedding, but i want this to be a fun occassion. I am planning for after the wedding everyone to head to Atlantic City for some fun!!

In Sha Allah

daughterrhonda
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Re: My Second, His First HELP!!

AaIshah, sounds like a plan -- wow Atlantic City that's great, I'm sure your guests will have a ball and that moment will go down in history -- not to mention if someone hits the jackpot -- now that would be awesome! (I've never been to Atlantic City, hopefully I'll get there soon).

Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37

nlbostic
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Re: My Second, His First HELP!!

That sounds like fun. Stay at the Borgota hotel....AWESOME!!!!. you had better make reservations now though, for whatever hotel you decide. There is a new restaurant/jazz club too (cant remember the name, I will find out) that is reaaly nice. Also, Jay-Z opened up a new 40/40 club that is real nice too.

aaishah
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Re: My Second, His First HELP!!

So, now I've got to get down to the planning. I've not really done much of anything other than stress!!! Where do I begin??

In Sha Allah

charlottemodebe
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Re: My Second, His First HELP!!

Start looking for a fabulous dress and choose your colors.

Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.

nlbostic
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Re: My Second, His First HELP!!

Ishah, you've decided on an intimate wedding. How intimate? where will your ceremony be? how many attendants will you have? Are you having limos, cake, favors...etc?

charlottemodebe
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Re: My Second, His First HELP!!

YOu can have an intimate, classy, romantic wedding that will blow your FH's mind and he will love you all the more for being such an exquisite lady :-)

Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.

daughterrhonda
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Re: My Second, His First HELP!!

Aa'Ishah you should also discuss your guest list with your honey. That my dear is very important.

Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37

aaishah
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Re: My Second, His First HELP!!

When I wrote my post yesterday I said intimate, now it seems to be growing. Every time I talk to another friend I feel obligated to ask them to be in my wedding! I am up 5, don't have any colors in mind, when I mentioned his favors (blk & olive grn) he said no. No ideal where I want the wedding/Reception to be (all in one place) I've only been in philly 3 years so other than my children its all me. An I haven't even begun to think about guest list. I do have a date!! An as my best freidn told me a FH, so that is half the battle. I saw the wedding favors that I want, but I want to make them myself. I want to do as much myself as possible. My girlfriends in Ohio will be helping, but its going to be hard being in different states. I was so happy when I found this forum!! I am going to enjoy getting to know everyone!!

In Sha Allah

daughterrhonda
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Re: My Second, His First HELP!!

One thing about planning a wedding and I am learning this more and more everyday -- you have to allow a little room for being flexible. This site is awesome and the ladies are so cool & down to earth -- it feels like I know everyone already. Keep in mind Aa'Ishah this is your wedding & you don't have to feel obligated to do anything. It's all about you and your Future Hubby. In any event enjoy!!!!

Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37

charlottemodebe
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Re: My Second, His First HELP!!

You are correct Ronny...Tell her again....say it loud this time......"this is your wedding & you don't have to feel obligated to do anything. It's all about you and your Future Hubby. In any event enjoy!!!!"....Ya hear that Ishy!

Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.