What should I do Yall? My FH has three children 13, 11 and 9. Their momma wants to meet me. I've never had any dealings with her. Only saw two pictures of her when FH and I met four years ago. It's finally sinking in with her that her ex husband is getting married again. He told her this two years ago. They all live in the south but FH will be relocating up north and working with the same company. I'll tell you one thing. She definitely lost a good man and she knows it. That's probably why she's just now letting it sink in. The children are crazzzy about me, we tell each other we love each other, they get tickled "figure of speech" when they see me and or talk to me on the phone. We get along like glue and paper and like needle and thread to a hair weave. QUESTIONS: Where should we meet? My FH will be there also. Should the children be at this meeting too? Should the meeting be kind of short? What tpye of conversation should or shouldn't be going on? Ladies I intend on being myself: merry, happy, smiley and bubbly. PLEASE ADVISE. I'm counting on all of you. smile P.S. we'll be meeting in the south near the end of February.
What should I do Yall? My FH has three children 13, 11 and 9. Their momma wants to meet me. I've never had any dealings with her. Only saw two pictures of her when FH and I met four years ago. It's finally sinking in with her that her ex husband is getting married again. He told her this two years ago. They all live in the south but FH will be relocating up north and working with the same company. I'll tell you one thing. She definitely lost a good man and she knows it. That's probably why she's just now letting it sink in. The children are crazzzy about me, we tell each other we love each other, they get tickled "figure of speech" when they see me and or talk to me on the phone. We get along like glue and paper and like needle and thread to a hair weave. QUESTIONS: Where should we meet? My FH will be there also. Should the children be at this meeting too? Should the meeting be kind of short? What tpye of conversation should or shouldn't be going on? Ladies I intend on being myself: merry, happy, smiley and bubbly. PLEASE ADVISE. I'm counting on all of you. smile P.S. we'll be meeting in the south near the end of February.
God is good all the time and all the time God is good
I think that you and your FH should talk about where to meet her and whether the children should be there. Maybe there will be some time where just you and her could talk privately because she may want to be sure that you will be a good stepmother to her children and to make sure your head and heart are in the right place. You seem like a sweet and open minded person,I'm sure all will go well. My FH also has a 5 year old son who loves me alot and I love him also. He has told us that he wants to live with us instead of his mother, who lives in South Carolina. She is having a time dealing with it. We are going to court soon because we may be getting custody of him. If that's the Lord's will. I wish you the best! When is your wedding again?
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Thanks PureBliss, Our wedding is July 2006 in South Carolina. Since I can talk alot whenever we meet I'm going to let her start the conversation off. Thanks for your true compliment and good luck with the court date.
God is good all the time and all the time God is good
hey Marshine....one thing to remember...she is curious...just be yourself..be open, courteous and show her that you are the woman that he fell in love with...without even having to say anything ..she will respect you, just because you have shown her respect...my FH ex attends the same church that we do... she had always kept her distance...so I approached her on a woman's retreat that we were on together....I was very courteous..and told hertht I just wanted to intorduce myself to her and to get to know her because they have 2 sons that have lots of interaction with me and my two kids....she was very open...and told me how much she appreciated me being such a woman about things...we exchanged phone numbers and we talk briefly about the kids, churhc etc every now and then...I have heard from others the comments she made about me before we actually "met"...but its ok..God has a way of bringing people into your life..even just for a season...for a reason. Relax, be you...and be a lady.
HIS eye is on the sparrow, and I know HE watches.........me
Marshine first let me say that I think it is an honorable thing that you can get together and talk. I do not think you have to worry about were to meet and what to say, just let it flow. I want to tell you not to say things like "She definitely lost a good man and she knows it"..mind you I am not saying she did or did not...you or I was not ther and you do not know what happened, that is between them and it should remain there, there is always 3 sides to a story and one is the truth. Leave that alone and continue with you life, focus on what's to come and appreciate it. Have your meeting with her, I do not think it should be a big concern as to whether or not the children are present, you should not have anything to hide and let them see that you all can get on...that will make them feel very proud.
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
Marshine,I agree with the other ladies about being yourself.I think it's an awkward feeling when you have to meet baby mama.Believe me, I had to do that I few months ago.My FH has two sons, 18 and 17.The 17 year olds mom was "cooler than an industrial strength air conditioner" but the other gave a lot of dirty looks and didn't say anything to me.I think she hasn't gotten over my FH even though she married someone else a long time ago.Anyway,I hope all goes well with your meeting.
Born Blessed!
Thanks ladies. I'm glad you all had experience with this. I think we'll go to a restaurant with the children. I will be myself; pleasant, mannerable etc. I'm looking forward to this meeting. Children can see through people so I know my FH will hear how the children think the meeting went. They love their dad more. No lie but they'll tell the truth. Thanks again.
God is good all the time and all the time God is good
Children's mind are pure and innocent....they can see thru a fake instantly so be sincere and honest.
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
Hey Marshine, perhaps you guys should meet a a restaurant. I wouldn't have the children along during this conversation. She is probably like any good mom who would want to meet her children's new stepmom, especially since you and the children get along so well. I would also encourage you to just be yourself, you seem like a wonderful person -- she should have no problems with that. Children are very honest, their mom probably is just curious, I'm sure they tell her so many wonderful things. It would make things really nice if everyone got along. I wish you guys all the best!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Rony I beg to differ on this one---I think the children should go along, I am sure there is nothing to hide and the children will have a greater respect for their mom and stepmom along with dad if they see everyone is getting on nicely, they will have a better appreciation of what is actually happening.
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
That's why I love this site. You can appreciate all of the wonderful opinions, advice, experiences, etc. and it is never a problem. Truly awesome.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
I honestly respect everyone for being so open and honest with the children...that really shows maturity. Kudos Marshine!
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
Thanks everyone. I love this board. I feel so comfortable with all of you. We've got each others back for sure.
God is good all the time and all the time God is good
Yes we do Marshine, yes we do!!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37