Friend or not a friend

Nope. Don't feel guilty. And don't think the conversation with her is fake. When you marry you will slow down and even lose touch with unmarried friends. It's a sad unwritten rule. Like when you have children and you get more friends who have children and the partying slows down etc. It is a new chapter in your life. If you don't want her in your wedding don't have her. But if it is no more trouble make her a bridesmaid or acknowledge her presence at your reception just for the sake of your old friendship.

I agree with Rosetta. You don't have to have her in your wedding just for the sake of her being an old friend. People and situations change over the years. I think it's fine if you just invite her to the wedding. If she gets offended by that, then I think you should talk things out with why you chose that route instead of having her in the wedding party. Don't stress over this - you will have more than your share of stress in due time.

I'm with Rosey and Askalot on this one...NO! you do not, if the friendship meant to her what it means to you then she would have stayed in touch and not be acting funny, slumber party or not!

Hi TonyaL..., I would not feel guilty for not having this friend participate in your wedding. It is your day, do it your way!!! I was my friend's maid of honor when she got married too, and now we don't even speak. I am saddened by the change in our friendship, but I don't feel obligated to ask her to be in my wedding. As Rosetta and some of the other ladies said, relationships change with time...it's just a part of life, sometimes we don't have any control over these things. In any event I wish you all the best with your wedding and your friend.

Something is up with sweetgirl....like the old people over here says..."something in the milk aint clean"

Hi TonyaLanette, Have you ever heard of "a women's intuition"? You know whether or not she should be asked? My feeling is she should not be asked. You must feel comfortable leading up to and on "your day" and have people by your side who are truly there for you. While you have a chance don't do it. If I can start the planning over I would have only one lady standing by my side to hold the bouquet while I'm standing there instead of the 6plus I have who haven't helped one bit with anything. Don't get me started. Good luck.

amen marshine.....bunch of old buzzards.

You are right Marshine, you've made a very good point.

Good TonyaLanette, I wish you all the best with everything!

Tonya you are truly blessed to have that many ladies and no drama......very good...enjoy!

Charly have you chosen your wedding party as yet?

I have in my heart who I want to be there....my first wedding those girls gave me so much drama but my life has taken a 360 degrees turn since then...I am now saved and I am surrounded by some mighty women of God and even though I have not known them for a long time, they mean that much to me and we have created such a bound and I know they will not have a problem with it....I just have not asked as yet, but I am pretty sure they know, it's only a matter of confirmation. One thing with time.....you gain knowledge and wisdom and you know what is important and what or who are not...that may sound selfish but I have learned so much from 25 to 35, none of my sisters will be standing...I love them and but I will not have them stand.

That is really beautiful that you have awesome people who have so much in common with you to serve in your bridal party. That is a blessing.

You will learn the spirit of discernment---I know in my heart who genuinely loves me and cares about me and my children and who loves me because we are kin and they have to. When my son was in the hospital I did not even have to call these friends..they were there in a heart beat they remained...they made sure we had hot food and they came and prayed and were very concerned.....I didn't even call my sisters. Please do not think I am selfish but when you are serving GOD...it is one of the most difficult things in life so you need to be surrounded by people who will be there with you in your spiritual walk not people who are living contrary to God's word.

Hey Charly, I don't think you are selfish, I think you are very wise. Keep surrounding yourself with good people (I try to do the same also).

You are wise Rony....you asked me this question, have you noticed I've not really said anything about me...I am just here will others....that's how I am, no one can every figure me out, they always try to ask but I am a very private person, I think that throws a lot of people off over here, especially when it comes to my family whom they do not know or I never speak about...

Another thing we have in common. I'm very private also. Experience has taught me the less people know the better.

Thank you for that nugget....I myself always wondered why I am this way.......I have definitely had my share of experiences and really bad ones also....hmmm!, you hit the nail right on the head gurl....way to go!

Thanks Charly!

My pleasure...you are fabulous gurl!

You are marvelously fabulous yourself!!!!

Cheesing.....!

I agree with all the ladies. When I had my first wedding I had 21 women and girls in my wedding and now that i'm renewing my vows there is only one true find that will be by side from that first group and that's my baby sister. I had to learn that in these type of events you have to be happy and comfortable and if this is a situation that's going to make you wonder if she's really your friend through out the whole wedding then you should just invite her and let nature take it's course. Just pray and tell the lord about your problem and he will give you the right answer.

Great advice Charrice04!

WOW Ricci "21"!?...geesh girl....I'm sure that experience taught you a thing or two about the real meaning of friendship and who they really are in the midst of stress.

And I am sure she will be a very fit well dressed guest...casue she could not pssibly be thinking that she is standing ah.....not!!

Poor thing!! Haaaaaaaa!

Tony...do not sugar coat this situation - I can see this girl is bold enough to show up at the rehearsal...you need to tell her she is out.

I agree with Charly, in this way there will be no confusion.