Hi guys, I really need your help. As I posted this morning my FH and I are buying a home and closing March 3rd. My Fh lives about 45 minutes away in Georgia and will be moving here once he finds a job. Here's the problem........my mother called me at work today and asked me if we had made living arrangements yet. Of course, I was speechless because first of all why ask me this now and how can I expect my FH to still commute when he's paying for a home with me. I told her no because that was the point of us getting a house. She went on to say that God has been blessing us and we don't need to mess that up by living together. I told her that because we have been celibate for the past 4 months and made a vow to God that we would not have sex until we married, we felt it was ok. She went on to say that I can stay with she and Dad until we marry and FH stay at the house.I know that my mother is really just worried about what other people think but I feel like she's trying to control my life. I love the Lord and strive to please him in every way I can. Am I wrong for wanting to live in our home together before the marriage? Please help me with this
Hi guys, I really need your help. As I posted this morning my FH and I are buying a home and closing March 3rd. My Fh lives about 45 minutes away in Georgia and will be moving here once he finds a job. Here's the problem........my mother called me at work today and asked me if we had made living arrangements yet. Of course, I was speechless because first of all why ask me this now and how can I expect my FH to still commute when he's paying for a home with me. I told her no because that was the point of us getting a house. She went on to say that God has been blessing us and we don't need to mess that up by living together. I told her that because we have been celibate for the past 4 months and made a vow to God that we would not have sex until we married, we felt it was ok. She went on to say that I can stay with she and Dad until we marry and FH stay at the house.I know that my mother is really just worried about what other people think but I feel like she's trying to control my life. I love the Lord and strive to please him in every way I can. Am I wrong for wanting to live in our home together before the marriage? Please help me with this
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Hi PureBliss, be encouraged my sister. First I'd like to salute you and your FH for taking a vow of celibacy! That is truly awesome. I wouldn't say that Mom is trying to control your life, I would say that she is staying true to that which she believes. Believe me she means well. My Mom is the same way. They are aware of the temptation that may come your way. You and your FH have made a vow to The Almighty and I believe that He will give you the strength to honor that vow! In any event, it will all work out. Hang in there my sister!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Hey PureBliss- Don't be stressed. Be blessed. I have a friend who was in a simular situation and they were married on 1/7/06. They made that sacred commitment to GOD to remain celebate while they lived together until they got married. She said that it was not easy but they did it. Just remember that it is through GOD's grace and mercy that we can do all things. Pray on it and congratulation on your new home.
PureBliss, I tell you this because we love you here at vibride.com. I just had a similar conversation with my mom just today. I stayed with my fiance a whole 3 months before we got married. we stayed celibate and it was one of the hardest things for me. But here is the rub. My parents are still upset about it and I have been married for 12 years! Consider their feelings. Tongues will waggle and it is not just about you and your FH yet. It will be hard not to start playing house, but I think you should stay with your parents until the wedding. My 2 cents.
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Girl just do you.If you getting you a house with FH congradulation to you.Move in A.S.A.P ! Forget what other peopl think, no disrespect but yo mama too.She cant do for you like your man can.I know you vowed to be celibant until your wedding night...thats going to be the hardest thing you've ever done living together in one bed.....unless you get 2 twin beds on opposite sides of the room its going to get hard, but you can do it! If thats what she worried about tell her you could easily do it if you were to stay with her.You could always take a extra long lunch break to "get yours".My FH and I have been living together for almost a year now and we get people sayin we living in sin all the time.But since we kow we are on the path to doing the right thing we dont let it bother us as much as before.Our trouble comes from FH oh so famous brother.But I say hey forget him and anybody else that has something to say.Unless they wanna pay ALL our bills,and buy our food,clothes and give me the support only FH can...FORGET THEM!
Ladies,I appreciate your comments and support keep it coming. I want you all to know that I in no way want to dishonor God or disrespect my parents. I know that my mother cares for me deeply but she feels that because she and my father lived together 6 months before they married and they slipped up that we will do the same. I told my FH about it today and he is such a sweetie. He said baby we can sleep in separate bedrooms do you think she'd feel ok with that? I just laughed. There is just so much to think about these days between work, planning a wedding, buying a home, it's alot. I found myself with a migraine today that had me sick on the stomach. I just woke up from trying to sleep it off.
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gyrl dont stress too much. Everything will work its was out. It's really up to the two of you and your self control tokeep your promise.If you just happen to slip the world will not end!you may feel a little disappointed but nobody has to know or will know unless you tell them.Are they going to watch you like a hawk? NO I'm sure they will have something better to do than watch you like a child. The "worse" case will be if you got a bun in the oven before the wedding. I say "worse" because I really dont think it will be all that bad,actually its a blessing to have a child no matter when it was concieved, before or after the wedding who cares? I t all depends on what you want.
OK...This is the cynical side of me that is not too often revealed......Listen PB&J (I dub thee) the enemy is busy and his main objective is to distract you from a purpose driven life....the minute you move in with FH...the desire will beome overwhelming...remember we are still in the flesh and it wants what it wants.....if you have an opportunity to stay with parents for a short time, then by all means do take it, the pros to that is it will not be for a long time. I am the wackiest one here I am sure but I stand firm on the word of God...the enemy is busy and he will come at you any which way he can....you be the smarter one and avoid such expectations. God bless you and keep you, be encouraged.
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
I don't think you're wrong. Why should you pay for a house you're not living in? I recently went through the same situation. I think mothers know what is going on. They just to hear it from our mouths. I think it would have upset my mom if we were not getting married and living together. They just want the best for us. It stresses me out because I value my mom's opinion and I don't want to upset her.
PureBliss and the rest of the ViBrides, we are too blessed to be stressed!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Apart from being a unique group of intelligent women with some powerful advise, we are also women of valor...and God privails....Amen!
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
Don't start nothin' Charly........
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Should I go back to my corner?....notice I said "my" cause I am there so often it is becoming personlized (lol)
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
Yes you should! Your corner has a special chair with your name on it. I am sending the decorators over to make it as "nice" as possible for you.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
PureBliss, just remember, they talked about Jesus also. He continued to do what he knew WE needed. It will all work itself out. Don't live your life for others. Others can't take care of you. Do you.
God's office hours are 24 hrs a day...You don't see him complaining do you????
The question here is "What would Jesus Do?"...take people out of the equation.....!12bys is correct in staying don't worry about people and you really shouldn't....just worry about the Master and you will be just fine.
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.