Hi, I'm new to the forum, my wedding is May 6,2006 and I had 10 bridesmaids until this past weekend we had a meeting and one of them decided to show out. I asked one last thing of everyone that's in the wedding. That was for everyone to stay at the hotel the night of the wedding (including the locals) because I am already stressed out and I would like first of all for the bridal party to be there with me to help me out and secondly to make sure everyone is on time the day of. I do realize that participating in a wedding can be costly. But I mentioned to all the ladies that this was something I really wanted and need to have a piece of mind the day of the wedding. Well everything was going fine, until this particular bridesmaid made a commit about how costly this was getting and that some people had kids and husband (which she has neither)! After all the stress that I was under at the time of the meeting, I just broke down and cried I just couldn't hold it in! She never apologized nor showed any type of regret. This was this past Saturday, today she calls me and tells me that she's not going to be in the wedding and that she doesn't feel that I want her in the wedding, she will take a lost for the purchase of her dress, but she's decided not to participate. She sound as if I did something wrong to her.
Am I being unreasonable about the hotel stay? Please help me!
crazy bridesmaid
Wed, 03/08/2006 - 13:07
#1
crazy bridesmaid
Hi, I'm new to the forum, my wedding is May 6,2006 and I had 10 bridesmaids until this past weekend we had a meeting and one of them decided to show out. I asked one last thing of everyone that's in the wedding. That was for everyone to stay at the hotel the night of the wedding (including the locals) because I am already stressed out and I would like first of all for the bridal party to be there with me to help me out and secondly to make sure everyone is on time the day of. I do realize that participating in a wedding can be costly. But I mentioned to all the ladies that this was something I really wanted and need to have a piece of mind the day of the wedding. Well everything was going fine, until this particular bridesmaid made a commit about how costly this was getting and that some people had kids and husband (which she has neither)! After all the stress that I was under at the time of the meeting, I just broke down and cried I just couldn't hold it in! She never apologized nor showed any type of regret. This was this past Saturday, today she calls me and tells me that she's not going to be in the wedding and that she doesn't feel that I want her in the wedding, she will take a lost for the purchase of her dress, but she's decided not to participate. She sound as if I did something wrong to her.
Am I being unreasonable about the hotel stay? Please help me!
not stressed anymore! Thanks to my Vibrides!! :)
I don't think you are. However, when I asked my wedding party to stay at a hotel the night before, I paid for a suite that fit all of them. Not that you have to pay for them, but you should come up with something cost efficent for the group.
Living my life like it's GOLDEN!!
Actually, we did come up with a solution for those that were financially stressed. We mention that they could get a suite and divide the cost between (4) and the total would end up $20 per person. And she still didn't seem to like that idea.
not stressed anymore! Thanks to my Vibrides!! :)
Hey there StressedNTN, and welcome to the boards. I'm sorry to hear about your bridesmaid dilemma. I don't think that you were being unreasonable. When someone agrees to be in your wedding, they should know that there are costs involved and things can come up. If someone has a challenge financial or otherwise, then I believe that they should be adult about it and communicate that to you. You also mentioned that the other ladies compromised and are willing to share the cost of a suite, so that is not the problem. Furthermore since this particular bridesmaid mentioned that some people have husbands and children (and she has neither), there may be a little jealousy involved. Consider yourself blessed, because you only want people who will have your back 100%. I wish you all the best and I hope that things will work out for you. And remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Sounds like 'I'm not the star of this show' syndrom. Have you been friends for long? Maybe she just needs some time to get her head right. It happens in every bridal party, one bridesmaid WILL bring the drama, but they usually get their attitudes in tune if you just leave them alone for a bit. Check on her in a week if she's still acting out, move on.
Living my life like it's GOLDEN!!
I actually called her back and she still had an attitude, so what I've done was taken her off the program dropped one of the groomsmen to an usher and it's still all good! (no stress for me!)
not stressed anymore! Thanks to my Vibrides!! :)
Hey there TNT...Welcome welcome welcome and let me guarantee you once and for all...you will never get stressed from the ladies on this board - unless your mischeivous and they send you in the corner (like me lol) but seriously...when I got married I personally wanted to get ready in a hotel so I paid for a suite which was large like a 2 bedromm apartment wth a kitchenette (spelling?) but I invited all my bridal party to come--even the little boys.....I looked at it as a time for us to bond, ply games, talk and have...that worked out well cause even my choir members came and it was a blast---my point is the cost of the room should really be on you...normally being a bridesmaid does not involve paying for a hotel room. Nah one of my girls wanted to stay home with her boyfriend and I told her to be to the hotel on time to get her hair and make-up done. Do not stress yourself everyhting will be ok but you really should pay for the room and invite them.
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
I am glad to see you kept your chin upa and even did the elegant thing by calling her back to talk about it. You were smart to keep all your bridesmaids together. Many a wedding has started late because of absentee bridesmaids or groomsmen.
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Problem solved, she'll be okay! As I have mentioned before, this is when you find out if your friends are fair-weather or forever!
Living my life like it's GOLDEN!!
[quote="phenomonique"] this is when you find out if your friends are fair-weather or forever!
[/quote]
Niquey, that is an absolute fabulous quote! :-) My MOH (which is also my cousin) is paying for a suite for us to stay in the night before the wedding. My ceremony doesn't start until 5 pm. So, I'm not sure if I want to leave from the hotel or my mother's house (where I grew up). Decisions...decisions. However, I think that the BM should all chip in together to get a suite. $20 is not that expensive. Tell whoever else complains just to save 50 cents per day. lol I'm glad your drama is over with her though stressedNTN.
Thank you guys I really needed this today, I would pay for everybody's room, but me and my sweetie are paying for our wedding our folks are deceased and we don't have any help and everyone that's in the wedding knows this. Every since last year we've managed to pay for everything little by little and my maid of honor has really stepped up to the plate trying to make me feel better. Oh! I forgot to mention to you guys, I did break down and cried at the meeting because of all the negative remarks from her.
I believe she just wanted to give a hard time. I've known her for about 3 years we go to church together! (I just can't believe she has all of that hate in her heart)!
not stressed anymore! Thanks to my Vibrides!! :)
TNT, you've done your part by reaching out. I'd leave it alone now. She's a negative and you need positives. She probably thought some others were going to follow her lead. The laugh was on her. Continue on with your plans. You are blessed.
God is good all the time and all the time God is good
Welcome to the site,TNT!These sistas are an excellent support group! I'm sorry to hear about the unruly bridesmaid.You did right by kicking her jealous butt to the curb.Believe me, she's the one missing out.And, she's not a real friend if she isn't remorseful for upsetting you at the meeting.You have enough on your mind already; you don't anyone in your wedding that's adin on more stress. God Bless you and good luck.
Born Blessed!
Girl, don't be stressed. Don't let that chick ruin your day!
Amen, Tonya!
Get social and fan us on http://www.facebook.com/Vibrantbride] Facebook.
Thank ladies, I really do appreciate this! I do feel better, it now on to trying to complete last min. things like photograher etc. I tell you what, if I had to do it all over again I would have hired a professional to do everything! This is stressful just trying to make sure everything is done. And to add (a drama queen)just didn't help at all! :( But the show must go on and I have a more positive look now! Again thanks! If I can help anyone, live you've helped me please let me know! I would be honored! :)
not stressed anymore! Thanks to my Vibrides!! :)
Now that drama queen is gone we can focus on the last minutes...let me tell you something missy mister mena...we will be expecting details and pictures after the ceremony....I don't know what it is but I see it as a parent sending a child to college and then feeling very pleased at graduation---it's the same thing here - we want to see all the fabulous ideas and suggestions come to fruition...oh and we do expect you to pop in every now and then or more frequently to lend your advice to those of us trying to get hitched...:-)
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
ok, that will work, I feel like I'm just made a new family! :)
not stressed anymore! Thanks to my Vibrides!! :)
Welcome stressed! you and I are in the same boat, but my BM is on mute right now. These ladies are so wonderful here aren't they? I got a lot of advice from them and you know it's sincere cause they don't know either party to favor any sides.
I think you are vibrides next bride is that right ladies? remember what charly said :)
I do realize that this was the best decision I've made since I've been planning my wedding, to sign on here and get such wonderful advice from sistas that know what I'm going thru!
not stressed anymore! Thanks to my Vibrides!! :)
Ya shoulda come a lil earlier...I'm sure we could've helped saved you a bundle on your car insurance by switching to Gieco (lol)...seriously we gat some serious hook up here that would have helped you save so much money and Niquey could have gotten ur dress for little or nothing...
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
maybe you guys can help me now, I need videoagraher, and down here they are so expensive! I'm talking from $1000 to $3000 and honestly I really can't afford that! any suggestions???????
not stressed anymore! Thanks to my Vibrides!! :)
The corner is calling you Charly (lol)!!!! I'm glad you worked things out StressedNTN, maybe you should change your screen name to something else....to reflect the new you and the happier experiences that are headed your way, because things will work out for ya gurl!!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Morning Rony....sup girl!?...she kinda stuck with that screen name that is why her nickname is "TNT".
Nah TNT Rosey can help with your resquest...I am sure she can find something...where you at again?
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
I'm in Nashville, TN and any help would really be greatful! That's the only thing we are battling with right now! And when I say battling I mean battling! :(
not stressed anymore! Thanks to my Vibrides!! :)