Hi ladies, I wanted to post this topic (at my good friend Marshine's suggestion) to get some feedback. My wedding date is 11/11/06. My FH has been talking about eloping because he says that all of this "wedding stuff" is too much for him. I honestly don't want to elope, because I have put so much into planning this wedding, and having my dream ceremony. I have also spent a lot of money. I talked to my mother about it and she got quiet, which tells me that she doesn't approve. My daughter (15) also said she wants to see her mommy "walk down the aisle". I honestly think that he's getting nervous. He wants to get married in June of this year now, he's talking about going to Vegas. Ladies I need your help, what are your thoughts? You sisters have helped me during some stressful situations, but I truly need you guys now.
Hi ladies, I wanted to post this topic (at my good friend Marshine's suggestion) to get some feedback. My wedding date is 11/11/06. My FH has been talking about eloping because he says that all of this "wedding stuff" is too much for him. I honestly don't want to elope, because I have put so much into planning this wedding, and having my dream ceremony. I have also spent a lot of money. I talked to my mother about it and she got quiet, which tells me that she doesn't approve. My daughter (15) also said she wants to see her mommy "walk down the aisle". I honestly think that he's getting nervous. He wants to get married in June of this year now, he's talking about going to Vegas. Ladies I need your help, what are your thoughts? You sisters have helped me during some stressful situations, but I truly need you guys now.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
qUIT LISTENING TO HIM! If I had a $1 for EVERY Groom that has suggeested that I would be a BILLIONAIRE. I am sorry to say you will only regret it Rony. I know he is your man and all, but guys would rather avoid all the headache. My first suggestion was to stop bombarding him with your ideas about the wedding. I am not being harsh, just realistic. It gets stressful and weird for them. They are nowhere nears as interested in the difference between calla lillies and peonies as you are.
What is it that YOU want todo? WHat is your dream wedding like?
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Rony, I agree with Rosey. Sometimes we can get so bogged down with wedding stuff that all conversation and activites are centered around the wedding. It sounds like he's feeling overwhelmed with the whole thing and wants to take the easy route. A day or two after we got engaged I went in full speed ahead. My Fh got so upset and he told me to slow down because I was taking him too fast. They need info about the wedding in moderation. I can attest to feeling the same way that he does (about eloping) but the more I thought about it I know that i would regret it. My advise to you would be not to bombard him with info about the wedding just do what you need to do, also don't let him see you stressing over $$$ and him about why you want to have a wedding instead of eloping. Most women envision their wedding from the time they are little girls and you don't wnat to elope and end up resenting him or regretting the decision. He may really understand after that explanation. I have also made sure that FH and I have some days that we talk about wedding stuff and others where it's just us enjoying each other without the wedding being a part of the conversation. I hope this helped. I pray that all goes well. God Bless
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Rosetta and PureBliss I honestly appreciate your feedback. I will be sure not to bombard him with all this wedding stuff. (I did slow down a bit though). I will do my planning/talking when he is not around. I also will not entertain him when he goes into "Elope" mode. I honestly don't want to regret not having my dream wedding, nor do I want to resent him. I love him and I will continue to plan and envision the wedding of my dreams. I feel encouraged, that this is "normal" behavior for men. Thanks for your well wishes!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
My dream wedding is one that I envision myself walking down the aisle with all of my family, close friends & loved ones around. My oldest brother will have the honor of giving me away. I have five brides maids and my little neice and nephew are my ring bearer and flower girl. Reciting our vows before God and all of those that I care about. My daughter will sing a song dedicated to her father and I and I will have a videographer, photographer available to capture our memories. Then we will have a celebration to bring the day to a close. Having a quick fix instead of that which I envisioned for myself is just not an option.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Rony I think you mentioned that you all are also under the same roof now...if that is correct maybe you should have someone else keep the stuff for the wedding--seeing them could also overwhelm him.
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
That is true Charly. I gave him the task of organizing the wedding items I purchased. He put them away so well, but now he's talking about moving up the wedding to June and having a "civil" ceremony. I really am not feeling this. I will take the wedding things to my mom's and see if that helps.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
It just may help and I really hope it does...and do not talk about the planning for a while, just do what you have to do and keep as much away from him as possible...I know you do not want to do that and neither would I, but if it will take his mind of "wedding" he may also forget about eloping.
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
civil wedding!!! guys are so weird. My hubby wavted us to elop then have the wedding later. They just can't take the anticipation I guess. Maybe because you live together and love each other so much he already feels married. That is normal too. Don't deny him that moment when hr looks down thr aisle past all his relatives and friends anf sees his future wife smiling sweetly at him. I bet he bawls his eyes out. [lol]
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DaughterRhonda I saw a picture of your wedding dress. It's a beautiful dress and your bridesmaids dresses compliment it well. Pray, pray, pray. Lay low like the others are advising, remove the wedding items from the home as suggested and keep the faith. That dress is too beautiful to pack away. By the way, how come he wants to go to LasVegas in June? If if if the LasVegas gig happens I hope the two of you can have a fabulous celebration at the reception site. We want you to have your dream wedding damnit!! Do you think prewedding counseling is in order? Would he go?
God is good all the time and all the time God is good
Rony, these Sistas have given great advice.But, please don't elope.You'll look back and regret that you didn't have the wedding of your dreams and you'll resent your FH for wanting to elope.
Born Blessed!
Thank you ladies so much. He brought up eloping again last night and I told him that my heart really isn't in that. I want to have my dream ceremony, and I told him that he would regret it also. He said ok, he would think about it. As I stated before I will not entertain him with this one. You ladies are truly an awesome support group and for that I am so very thankful. You ladies are the best, thank you for being there, it helps in more ways than you will ever know!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
We are here for each other Roney...you are fabulous with all the advice and support you give also. Thnak you!
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
I have tears in my eyes. Thank you Charly. I know with God and my ViBride sistas I can make it!!!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Girl save dem tears for November 11th - you will need thm more than ever then :-)
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
Right. You know I will need them then along with a dozen boxes of tissues! (lol)
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37