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How do you deal with this one?

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daughterrhonda
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Last seen: 12 years 9 months ago
Joined: 05/26/2005 - 17:30
How do you deal with this one?

Ladies, I am so very blessed to be marrying the father of my child. (We were apart for 10 years). I'm wondering if any of you ladies who combine households with the father of your child or if your FH has children from a previous relationship, has to deal with this one. It seems that since we, my FH, daughter and I have been living together (all of 1 1/2 weeks)they compete with each other for my time and attention. Things really got out of hand yesterday and I don't know what to do. My daughter told her father that things were better with just her and her mommy. Of course this truly hurt my FH and he completely shut down. I am at a wits end about this one and I'm hoping that some of you ladies can offer some advice as you have so many times in the past. I told him a little daddy-daughter time is just what the doctor ordered and I don't think he has recovered from my daughter telling him she liked things better when it was just her and I. I also told my daughter that this is an adjustment process for us all and that she has to get used to daddy showing me affection. Ladies please help, the green-eyed jealous monster is trying to upset my home!

daughterrhonda
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Last seen: 12 years 9 months ago
Joined: 05/26/2005 - 17:30
How do you deal with this one?

Ladies, I am so very blessed to be marrying the father of my child. (We were apart for 10 years). I'm wondering if any of you ladies who combine households with the father of your child or if your FH has children from a previous relationship, has to deal with this one. It seems that since we, my FH, daughter and I have been living together (all of 1 1/2 weeks)they compete with each other for my time and attention. Things really got out of hand yesterday and I don't know what to do. My daughter told her father that things were better with just her and her mommy. Of course this truly hurt my FH and he completely shut down. I am at a wits end about this one and I'm hoping that some of you ladies can offer some advice as you have so many times in the past. I told him a little daddy-daughter time is just what the doctor ordered and I don't think he has recovered from my daughter telling him she liked things better when it was just her and I. I also told my daughter that this is an adjustment process for us all and that she has to get used to daddy showing me affection. Ladies please help, the green-eyed jealous monster is trying to upset my home!

Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37

phenomonique
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Last seen: 11 years 2 weeks ago
Joined: 06/23/2005 - 13:49
Re: How do you deal with this one?

Well, you're right Rony, daddy daughter time is what's needed. I'm sure feelings are hurting all the way around right now. The three of you should talk about this first, reassure her that your love for her is even stonger now because she is a vital part of something special. You are all blessed to be a family together in one household, there's gonna be an adjusting period for all of you. But the key, I've learned is facing this as a unit.

Living my life like it's GOLDEN!!

virtuousv
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Last seen: 18 years 1 month ago
Joined: 03/06/2006 - 14:11
Re: How do you deal with this one?

Yes you are blessed for being able to marry the father of your child. It sounds as though he hasn't created a good relationship with his daughter, otherwise she would not feel threatened by him taking away her time with you. So maybe he should really spend a little more time with her and develop a relationship as you suggested rhonda. It's very odd that they are competing for you, is she a teenager?

My FH has 2 children from his Ex and I have 2 from my Ex, and we have none together. My oldest daughter and his oldest daughter do not get along, they even get physical and both of my kids get jealous of his and vice versa. Sometimes my older daughter feels like she must compete with my FH for my time she says, then when his kids are here she wants to compete with them for their father. Sometimes this issue can get pretty intense, but I am sure you will get through sometime it just takes time.

happlymarried505
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Last seen: 18 years 7 months ago
Joined: 03/06/2006 - 22:03
Re: How do you deal with this one?

maybe you could all sit down and talk about whats about to happen, and explain to all the kids that at the end of this you'll all be 1 big family, and that it will just take time for then all grow and love eachother as they should. i hope and pray taht everyting will work out for you. ill keep you in my prays

daughterrhonda
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Last seen: 12 years 9 months ago
Joined: 05/26/2005 - 17:30
Re: How do you deal with this one?

You are right Phenomonique, this should be discussed as a unit. FH has shut down and is a little withdrawn right now. I know he is hurt, and my daughter doesn't know what to do with herself, because she has never spoken to her dad like that before. VirtuousV, they usually get along fine, however, he really doesn't spend a lot of time with just him and her. My daughter is 15 and she is the only child for both of us. This weekend was pretty intense and I really hope we don't have to go through that again. I will speak to him and my daughter and set up some family time because I don't want any tension in my home. HapplyMarried505 thank you for keeping us in your prayers, I for one believe in the power of prayer. In any event I appreciate all of you ladies taking the time once again to give me your support.

Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37