Ok I just wanted to ask, is there anyone of you ladies having mother problems.
1. I asked my mom did she have anything to wear for the wedding, her reply "no aren't you gonna buy me something" (knowing I'm on a budget), I did manage to get her a dress (from Dillard on sale),
2. She also wants me to buy my niece and my sister a dress for the wedding.
3 She also wants me to pay for her hotel room etc.
I finally told her yesterday I purchased the dress for her, her reply "what color is it" then "what size did you get", not thank you, or anything! Why are mothers so hard to please?????????
Ok I just wanted to ask, is there anyone of you ladies having mother problems.
1. I asked my mom did she have anything to wear for the wedding, her reply "no aren't you gonna buy me something" (knowing I'm on a budget), I did manage to get her a dress (from Dillard on sale),
2. She also wants me to buy my niece and my sister a dress for the wedding.
3 She also wants me to pay for her hotel room etc.
I finally told her yesterday I purchased the dress for her, her reply "what color is it" then "what size did you get", not thank you, or anything! Why are mothers so hard to please?????????
not stressed anymore! Thanks to my Vibrides!! :)
I know you are not gonna want to hear this but give thanks because you actually have a relationship with your mom - my mom does not speak to me.
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
My mother is finally coming around. In the beginning she was acting strange, but I think it was because of the move to NJ. I call her once a day to let her know that I love her and she has relaxed and is more supportive. My mother is retired and is on a fixed income, so I volunteered to buy her dress. I am also paying for my nephew's tuxedo. I have been putting money aside just for that, and gurl when I tell you it is tight, it is! So I understand how you feel. If it is not feasible for you to do all of those things, perhaps you could just let your mom know. charly I am sorry to hear that your mom doesn't speak to you.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
No, actually me and my mother don't have a relationship! I can't begin to tell you all the hell my mother took me thru that's why I no longer live in chattanooga where I'm from! My mother has always been a moocher, and has always taken it for granted that I have money! (what a bunch of crap), so that's why I can believe she's acting like this! I mean I went 2yrs without talking to her after I found out she sleep with my first love! (I know some Jerry Springer stuff) So ya see I have my mother here and I think God nothing has happen to here out of some respect, but I've been on my own since I was 17 and I can tell you when I say on my own I mean on my own! I don't want to get into too much drama, but once since I have been here in Nashville I was homeless me and my kids and I called her, she had just hit the numbers, so I asked her for some money for us and she said she didn't have it, but gave my younger sistere $500! So sweetie I understand where you are coming from, because if it hadn't been for the Lord on my side, I can truly say where would I BE!!!!!!! didn't mean to get too deep on ya! sorry!
not stressed anymore! Thanks to my Vibrides!! :)
Don't be sorry NTN, that's why the sisterhood is here. We are a support system. I'm sorry to hear that some moms don't realize the blessing of a good mother-daughter relationship. It is their loss, and I'm glad that God has been with you and Charly both, and helped you to become the wonderful women that you are today!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
It's ok, because all I did was some heavy praying and had some strong faith! God is good to me!!
not stressed anymore! Thanks to my Vibrides!! :)
Amen to that my sista!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
That was such a heavy burden for me to carry for many years but it was just another trial for me (and ya'll know what I say about trials) my focus is now my relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and my Children - only these people we have to give account to...Amen!
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
Amen!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
you know as we must give account to what we do to our children, our parents must be held accountable for what they do to us!! I admire people that have a special relationship with they're mothers, and their mothers repect them.
not stressed anymore! Thanks to my Vibrides!! :)
I came back to say....never make anyone's problems your problems - there is a saying when you have a problem you deal with it or you become a part of it and the devil is a liar if he thinks for one minute I am gonna make my mother cause me to loose focus - do not get me wrong, I love her, she could have very well aborted me but she didn't she was only 22 when she had me and I am her third child I love her because she is a survivor my father never looked back at me (met him at 15 and never again) she didn't finish school, no college degree but she took the initiative to make something of her life - She was one of the first black people hired in Royal Bank of Canada and today one of the important persons in that bank - she is in charge of the Bank's money - having said all that, I respect her for giving me life and standing in spite of - but I will not allow the fact that she does not want to speak to me to block my blessings, I pray for her daily, I ask GOD to bless her and protect her. This battle is not mine and I know that it is alreay been won for me. Oh by the way see did not come to my first wedding - hm!
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
Stressed, I'm going to be real honest with you. Some people have a great relationship with their mom and some have no relationship. The people that have a relationship are really blessed. But, the ones that do not have a relationship are blessed as well. I say that because some mother's aren't mother material. And God has kept you in his arms even when your mother turned her back on you. Even when your mother did the ultimate disrespectful thing to you, God helped you through your heartache and pain.
I say this to you, you bought her dress, wonderful. I'm not saying that you do, but do not go out of your way to help your mother out financially for your wedding. Is your niece your sister's child (#2)? Your sister can't afford her own dress? And why is your mom requesting this and not your sister? Do not pay for her hotel room. Tell her to start saving now, because you can't squeeze out any more money. Girl, pray and stay strong! We are here for you!
thank you, I talk to my sweetie and he also keep me focus! because if I listen to her and wait on her I want have a wedding nor will I have any money left to spend on what I need to do! She has not helped me with anything! everything that has been done my sweetie and my maid of honor has done it! So, I do realize that God put people in your path to help you deal with the things you deal with! And I know truely it's a gift from God that I'm where I am today!
not stressed anymore! Thanks to my Vibrides!! :)
You said it Askalot! You ladies are incredible pillars of strength, I truly admire that!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
honesty, I have to give all props to the Lord! because now, I look back on all the things and I get stronger and stronger day by day!
not stressed anymore! Thanks to my Vibrides!! :)
[quote="stressedNTN"]Ok I just wanted to ask, is there anyone of you ladies having mother problems.
1. I asked my mom did she have anything to wear for the wedding, her reply "no aren't you gonna buy me something" (knowing I'm on a budget), I did manage to get her a dress (from Dillard on sale),
2. She also wants me to buy my niece and my sister a dress for the wedding.
3 She also wants me to pay for her hotel room etc.
[/quote]
You are not obligated to do anything for your mother or your sister and neice. do't feel guilty about it. I think you were very classy to even invite her to the wedding. I don't know if I wuld have. Concentrate on making this one of the best days in your life. You can't please ANYOUNE BUT YOUTRSELF. yOU ARE GOING DOWN A SAD PATH IF YOU KEEP TRYING TO GAIN YOUR MOTHER'S APPROVAL.
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you are right, I'm not trying to get her approval, just trying to be nice! I actually wasn't going to invite her, but my sweetie's mother is not living and he said that even though we don't get along be the better person! And that's what I've tried to do!
not stressed anymore! Thanks to my Vibrides!! :)
You've done your part - now go focus on YOU!
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
that's exactly what I'm trying to do! thanks!
not stressed anymore! Thanks to my Vibrides!! :)
Stressed I can really relate to your situation, my mother is just like yours, very money hungry always got her hand out, but she never did anything for me. Have you seen Madea where the sister gets down right funky with the mother, well that's me and my mom about a month or 2 ago and she said she was done with me I said you never began with me. We still talk, but she still don't do as a mother should and it hurts. My FMIL calls me all the time telling me how excited she is about the wedding and asking what I want her to wear, and how she found this bad dress, My mom is like I don't have any money (favorite words) and she STILL has not paid for my lil sisters dress. I just pray and pray to get through it, i've been on my own since 17 too, it was very hard and that's how I know there is truly a God watching over me. Good luck, I truly hope everything works out for you.
We must have the same mother!! hahahha!! I can relate! I guess to me, I have come to the conclusion that, my life is better like it is and no matter who or what I have to take care of myself. I can't sit around feeling sorry for myself nor for her! She'll come around, if not her lost! the show must go on! :), But have faith in the Lord because this too shall pass! take it from me this has been going on with us every since I was about 21, and I'm 40 now!! (sexy 40 too) hahahahaha!!! Anyway I had to do the self control, self respect etc. when I was going through all of the mess! And now I look back and say, thank you God for keeping your hands around me! Because if I was a weak minded female, I probably would be in jail now, for doing something that I regreted! So, God is always in control and he knows best! Prime example, look at this site, we all have come together to share experiences and advice and we have no clue, have never met before in our lives! I thank God for this site and to all the support it offers! I will keep you in prayer, because he's the only one that can change her. I stop trying long ago to change my mother, I left it in his hands. and you need to do the same! bless you sista!
not stressed anymore! Thanks to my Vibrides!! :)
Excellent advice Rosetta. NTN, we have one more thing in common, I'm 40 also!!!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
I tell you are you sure we aren't twins! lolol!
not stressed anymore! Thanks to my Vibrides!! :)
Yes we are ViBride twins!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Thank you for your kind words stressed I use to get jealous of other peoples relationship with their mother, now I just make sure I have one with my daughters.
dont let your mother get to you. if you say that you aint that close to your mother dont bother with all the stress youre leting her feed on toyou. let her know that you will not buy the dresses for your niece and sister, sometime you just have to put your feet down and stand up with a stright backbone. everything will be ok. dont let her mess up your day
Ladies I'm sorry you dont have good relationships with your mothers...maybe it has something to do with how their mothers treated them.As for me and my mom we have a great relationship...like best friends..I can tell her everythang!and I do mean everythang!but her and her mother arent so tight. My grandma barely hugged or told my mom that she loved her and as a result my mom never knew if she liked her.My grandma is not a very affectionate person AT ALL and all of her kids but my mom turned out the same way.But for the way my grandma was made my mom tell her kids she loves them everyday and hugs us constantly.
I would love for my mom to help me with the wedding planning but she lives like and hour away from me because I moved out 2 years ago.I feel really bad that I cant involve her more in the planning process,I do want to buy her dress tho.I love this one that I saw and think my mom would look hottttt in it(posted at bottom) .Sometimes I sit up at night and cry because I miss her.I'm still not use to being away from home or away from her.Shoot I still slept in the same bed with her up until I moved out...even when I go back to visit I sleep in her bed.(lol)I've been through so much in my life with my mom I couldnt dream of her not being around,I dont know what I would do if she wasnt ther for me.This is the first dress I picked:
Allies Mother dress1
I also like this dress.I just may have to buy both for her.Just incase it doesnt show up its a davids bridal collection #F21421 for number 1 #F21066 for number 2.
Allies Mother Dress2
i dont know whats going on but, maybe we have great taste put i picked the same 2 dresses for my mother to wear to the wedding she liked the first dress more than the second dress, that is so crazy all great minds think alike
those dresses are so pretty, and I actually was thinking about the first one but because my mother is about a 20, I wanted to go with something that would make her look smaller, but elegant without spending a lot. I ended up with a plum dress with a long see thru jacket. It's nice and for what I paid for it ($75) I just couldn't leave it in the store! By the way I must say all of you ladies have great taste, I've been to some weddings as well as in them and I tell ya, I don't know where some people get they're taste from! yuck!!!! hahahahhaha!!!
not stressed anymore! Thanks to my Vibrides!! :)
Charley, VV2 & NTN I am so saddened by your situations! Let go & let God. You will know how to overcome the problems in time. You need to fiirtst forgive yourselves for not getting along with them.
On a lighter note--Have you looked at Womensuits.com. They have those bad I'm living large MOB dresses. I'm looking for Easter Sunday.
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You are so right! I think that exactly what I'm facing the forgiveness part, (forgiving myself). I pray all the time for the Lord to give me strighten to forgive her and now I believe all I had to do is forgive myself! Thank you sista! I know trails come and go, its how we deal with them weather or not we will make it thru!
not stressed anymore! Thanks to my Vibrides!! :)
AllieS I love the choices for the the mother of the bride dresses. I will be buying my mom's dress as well. My mother is in her 60's so I have to buy something a little more conservative for her. I will check out the site that Rosie recommended.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
NTN and Charley, don't feel bad.My mom and I aren't as close as we should be.My situation started at 19 when I got pregnant in college. Then,I moved with my Grandma and was seriously mistreated.My aunt created more friction between by spreading rumors and of course, my mom believed her over me.I was accused of being a bad mother,an alcoholic,drug user,and _hore.Years later when I became a truck driver, my mom seemed to look down on me.Like, I'm not on her level.She's quick to give advice without knowing the situation.I finally had to pray and ask God to teach me how to forgive.Believe me, I can hold a grudge.My mom seems like she's happy for me now (because I won't be living in sin anymore-her words).Go figure.We still aren't as close as we should be.Sorry for the lengthy response.
Born Blessed!
I had found some very nice mother of the bride dresses but I can't find the website now, once I do, I'll post it. My mom is a size 18/20 so she's looking for a dress that would cover her arms (top). She doesn't let them show. I'm also paying for her dress - but she doesn't it.
PlatiunumS, I'm sure your response will help the ladies who shared their experiences here and also those who just read the posts. It takes a lot to share your stories. Askalot when you find that site, let me know. I'm in the market for a dress for my mom as well. She is also a full-figured lady.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Thank you Rony.She's like "Your Dad and I don't have any money."But she spent so much when my brother got married.That's why I'm a serious bargain hunter.FH and I are paying for this ourselves.I forgot to enter the response that I intended.Funny story about my mom...When my brother got married,she searched high and low for the "perfect" dress.She went everywhere.On the day of the wedding, my mom and the brides grandmother ended up wearing the same dress.Lol.
Born Blessed!
You are welcomed PlatinumS! Being a bargain hunter is a blessing, I'm learning the tricks of the trade myself (I am trying to lose the shopaholic gene lol). Wow that is a funny story about your mom, I know she must have wanted to crawl under the pew!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
She said that it would have been bad enough to wear the same dress as the other mom.But same as Grandmother,AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!
Born Blessed!
HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Okay, can I just say that my FMIL picked the same dress Allie's Dress 1 too! Okay, now for the deepness.
It's amazing how God is using this board to minister into our lives. That just goes to show how God is real. I don't know how people don't see it. It's evident all around us. I really believe that the things that we go through are not so much for ourselves, but for somebody else. All of you ladies who don't have close relationships with your Mom, have just spoke to my heart in ways that no one has before. It's a hard thing to talk about when you think that you're the only one going through that.....Thank you for bearing your souls. I really needed to read all of these posts before my wedding in April.
Only 38 more days!!
Amen VWallace Amen!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
VWallace you are so right! and I have forgiven my mother, she has told me that she was treated bad by her mother, the one who raised me to 5 yr., so it's hard to believe somewhat. My mother has 7 kids and had the first at 15, and never completed middle school. I take her life into consideration and accept that she is who she is and deal with her according to that without disrespecting her.
[quote="DaughterRhonda"] Askalot when you find that site, let me know. I'm in the market for a dress for my mom as well. She is also a full-figured lady.
[/quote]
I am soooo crazy at times. The link was saved to my favorites (and I have been looking for it all this time). lol I'm quite sure you ladies will like these dresses (some of these dresses are baaad)!!! Once you're on the site, look at the children's section too. They have very, very nice flower girl dresses.
Mother of the Bride dresses
Thanks a million Askalot! Those dresses are more my mother's speed. Oh my goodness, I can't wait to show her!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
They are nice right. They're not too old looking and not skankish (as my mother would say) either. I think some are very elegant. Like I said before my mother's issue is not showing her arms, and there a few choices she could have. Also, did you notice the price is the same for size 1 - 30? No extra charge because you're a little heavier. :-)
Yes the dresses are on! My mother has an issue showing her arms too and I really like the fact that I don't have to pay extra for my mom's size (26). Thanks for everything!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
I guess great minds do think alike.I love the fact that alot of women are choosing the same dresses I like! My mom doesnt know I have chosen her dress yet but she will when we go fo a fitting.She willthink I'M getting my dress fittted but when they bring it out for her I think she will love it...which ever one I pick.As for my MIL I will probably have to use Askalots site she's between a 16-20. FH said she will be buying her own dress tho.She's too picky,and I dont have time to deal with her.Since He doesnt care if she shows up (and doubts she will) we are kinda over looking her (which is bad in a way) at this point.But she will show up looking like a fool yall! She ha sno taste at all.I dont think I've ever seen her in "regular clothes" OR closed toe shoes.Every sincgle time I see her she has on flip flops and a nurses suite(but she's not a nurse and very far from being one).What the heck imma do whith her? Yall gotta help me on this one.
lol - I'm cracking up over here because my FMIL looks just like Madea after she's beat someone up. lol I'm serious though.
Oh my goodness!I would be cracking up too!
you ladies are so crazy, can some explain to me how i can post my dresses so that you ladies will be able to view them
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