As posted in "baby names" I stated that my niece and I were pregnant at the same time and I lost my baby but she just gave birth yesterday. I'm depressed because I should have been giving birth around this time. I cant really enjoy the fact that she is having her baby becasue other people keep reminding me that I dont have a baby and thats pissing me off! I couldnt attend the baby shower because I couldnt hadle it emotionally and last night I wanted to go to the hospital but I was unable to. not that I was emotional but because my BIL didnt want me there.He said I would spoil their moment. I was really pissed off because I never talked to this particular BIL about how I felt loosing my baby so he had no right to "ban" me from the hosital. No one would tell me where they were and that really hurt me. I called her cell and her fh cell but I knew they couldnt answer in a hospital but someone could have told me where they were. I was the one who stayed up late nights with her (my niece) when she was feeling bad,I was the one who fed her properly to make her gain weight, I was the one who kept track of her appointment times like they were my own, I was the one experiencing this pregnancy like it was my body so why would they treat me like this? No one in the family really likes my niece but since shes having the first grandchild or nephew's baby everyone is all around her. I cant stand how they are treating me when I'm the only one who was there when she needed something, not them but now I'm the one who's getting pushed away.Not by her or her fh but by the family.I'm pretty sure if they knew what was going on they would be upset too. I just wanna scream...and cry and cuss them out but I cant.I'm always the one who acts as if nothing bothers me because they play on that.if they know something is wrong or somethign irritates you they use it against you,and thats not how family is supposed to be. For the record I am talking about FH family,everyone involved here is from his family and not mine which is why he chooses not to deal with them.
As posted in "baby names" I stated that my niece and I were pregnant at the same time and I lost my baby but she just gave birth yesterday. I'm depressed because I should have been giving birth around this time. I cant really enjoy the fact that she is having her baby becasue other people keep reminding me that I dont have a baby and thats pissing me off! I couldnt attend the baby shower because I couldnt hadle it emotionally and last night I wanted to go to the hospital but I was unable to. not that I was emotional but because my BIL didnt want me there.He said I would spoil their moment. I was really pissed off because I never talked to this particular BIL about how I felt loosing my baby so he had no right to "ban" me from the hosital. No one would tell me where they were and that really hurt me. I called her cell and her fh cell but I knew they couldnt answer in a hospital but someone could have told me where they were. I was the one who stayed up late nights with her (my niece) when she was feeling bad,I was the one who fed her properly to make her gain weight, I was the one who kept track of her appointment times like they were my own, I was the one experiencing this pregnancy like it was my body so why would they treat me like this? No one in the family really likes my niece but since shes having the first grandchild or nephew's baby everyone is all around her. I cant stand how they are treating me when I'm the only one who was there when she needed something, not them but now I'm the one who's getting pushed away.Not by her or her fh but by the family.I'm pretty sure if they knew what was going on they would be upset too. I just wanna scream...and cry and cuss them out but I cant.I'm always the one who acts as if nothing bothers me because they play on that.if they know something is wrong or somethign irritates you they use it against you,and thats not how family is supposed to be. For the record I am talking about FH family,everyone involved here is from his family and not mine which is why he chooses not to deal with them.
It's easy to say 'girl don't let them bother you', but the fact is, it does. I'm glad you vented with us. I've been there with my first pregnancy, I lost the baby too, my first son. It's not you it's them. After you lose a child people don't know what to say, or how to act around you when another baby is present. You really don't need to tell them that it's hurtful or that it pissed you off, THEY have to work through their feelings, not you. I know it's hard but it'll get better. Send a card to congratulate them and do nothing else until they extend an invitation to you to see the baby. (LOVE YOU!! BIG HUG TOO)
Living my life like it's GOLDEN!!
Nique its not the couple who had the baby thats tripping....its everybody else. It has been hinted around that they want me and FH to be the God parents to this baby. I love them to death and when the new mommy goes back to work I will be watching the baby for them so they don thave a problem with me being around their son. The rest of the family pass their babies off on me all the time.They think just because you ask to hold their babies you want them all day and thats not the case.two of my SIL's had babies last June and July and they have no problem handing off their babies. I think because we were pregnant at the same time ad we were so close in due time they think i'm going to trip. I have myself under control so they dont need to look out for me. Its when they THINK they doing whats best for me is when they piss me off the most. Its not like I am a baby I lost a baby!I wish these people get a clue!
Wow AllieS, I just want to tell you I truly feel for you. It's really a shame that your FHs family has "banned" you from the hospital. As Niquey said sometimes, people don't know how to act or what to say when someone has lost a child. I truly hope that you guys can get through this and work it out. Communication is key. Since you were the one to be there for the birth mom, then I believe it is her place to see that you are treated with compassion. In any event, I wish you all the best. Be encouraged.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
It
[quote="phenomonique"]It's easy to say 'girl don't let them bother you', but the fact is, it does. I'm glad you vented with us. I've been there with my first pregnancy, I lost the baby too, my first son. It's not you it's them. After you lose a child people don't know what to say, or how to act around you when another baby is present. You really don't need to tell them that it's hurtful or that it pissed you off, THEY have to work through their feelings, not you. I know it's hard but it'll get better. Send a card to congratulate them and do nothing else until they extend an invitation to you to see the baby. (LOVE YOU!! BIG HUG TOO)
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Niquey said it all and it makes so much sense...
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
Thanks for letting me vint here ladies.I have talked to my niece the new mother and she's getting tired of all FH family at the hospital! Ha they are the unwanted ones. Me and FH were the only ones she wanted there besides her fh and mother. She will be coming out the hospital this weekend so I will be meeting her and my godbaby at her house when she arrives. I will update you soon!
Girl, we're here for you!Continue to pray and ask God to give you strength.I feel for you and I wish that there is more than I could say.My heart goes out to you and your FH.I'll keep you in my prayers.
Born Blessed!