I know you ladies probably wish I never would have joined this board because I have too many questions:) Here it goes............
FH's ISSUE
My FH mother passed away around 5 years ago. His mother and father had been divorced for about 30 years. Anyway, his father remarried about 10 or 15 years ago. His step mother is a very nice woman, and we all get a long great. Should she be included in the "seating of parents" thing? We don't want her to feel left out, but we also don't want it to look like we are replacing his biological mother.
MY ISSUE
My father passed away when I was two years old (he and my mother were never married) All of my life, it has just been me and my mom (with a couple of boyfriends here and there). Anyway, my mother has a new boyfriend that she has been with for about 2 years or so. He is a nice guy, and I do like him alot. Same question as above. Does he get seated with my mom, or does he get seated along with the other guests? Does his name go on the program with my mom? Like I said before, I like him and I don't want him to feel left out, but he and my mother haven't been together "all my life", and they are not married, so he is "technically" not my step father. I know I really shouldn't care what other people think, but I got a feeling that guests may turn their noses because they know he is just my mother's boyfriend of a couple years, and has played no role in raising me.
What should we do?
I know you ladies probably wish I never would have joined this board because I have too many questions:) Here it goes............
FH's ISSUE
My FH mother passed away around 5 years ago. His mother and father had been divorced for about 30 years. Anyway, his father remarried about 10 or 15 years ago. His step mother is a very nice woman, and we all get a long great. Should she be included in the "seating of parents" thing? We don't want her to feel left out, but we also don't want it to look like we are replacing his biological mother.
MY ISSUE
My father passed away when I was two years old (he and my mother were never married) All of my life, it has just been me and my mom (with a couple of boyfriends here and there). Anyway, my mother has a new boyfriend that she has been with for about 2 years or so. He is a nice guy, and I do like him alot. Same question as above. Does he get seated with my mom, or does he get seated along with the other guests? Does his name go on the program with my mom? Like I said before, I like him and I don't want him to feel left out, but he and my mother haven't been together "all my life", and they are not married, so he is "technically" not my step father. I know I really shouldn't care what other people think, but I got a feeling that guests may turn their noses because they know he is just my mother's boyfriend of a couple years, and has played no role in raising me.
What should we do?
*If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
Girl, please. I'm happy that I've passed the torch to you (asking a lot of questions). lol That's how my nickname became Askalot.
FH Issues
I think that your FH step mom should definately be a part of the ceremony. My sister just got married (we don't have the same biological mothers) and my son walked my mother down the aisle. Her biological mom didn't attend (looong story). But, even if she had been there, my mom would've still been a part of the ceremony. My sister feels closer to my mom than her biological mom. My mom became her stepmother when she was about 4 years old.
YOUR ISSUE
That's really hard. It's up to you. Don't let what other people will think alter what you want. Maybe you can have your mom's boyfriend escort your mom down the aisle. {This just popped in my head}}. I think that'll be nice.
Askalot/Knowsalot! BAM!!
It's a family affair, if you want you mom's friend to sit with her go for it(personally I'd do it). The stepmom is an easy one, she's been around to long to sit her anywhere else :)
Living my life like it's GOLDEN!!
bride2be...we are happy that you joined the board. Ask all the questions you want. That's what we're here for. Just share your "HONEST" advice and opinions with us as payback. Don't worry about taking askalot's place. You could never do that. She is the queen of questions.
Regarding FH's issue, I would say to definitely involve his step-mom in the seating. Especially since you and her get along well and she has been a part of his life for a long time. You could still honor his biological mom with a memory candle.
Regarding your issue, that's a personal decision you have to make. But don't worry about what anybody else thinks. You don't have to list in him the program as your stepfather. I too had the same issue. My father's girlfriend has been around since I was 15 years old (now 30) but he hasn't married her yet. I am definately going to acknowledge her but I don't want to list her as my stepmother because that's not true, so on my programs I am simply going to put "seating of parents/VIP persons"
FH's ISSUE
I say there is nothing wrong with your FH dad new Wife seating with him, after all that is his wife. His family will know that your FH is not trying to replace his biological mother
MY ISSUE
Let your Mother new Boyfriend sit with her, I
[quote="HapplyMarried505"]FH's ISSUE
I say there is nothing wrong with your FH dad new Wife seating with him, after all that is his wife. His family will know that your FH is not trying to replace his biological mother
MY ISSUE
Let your Mother new Boyfriend sit with her, I
Yes Bostic, that is exactly what I am asking. Thanks ladies for being so helpful.
*If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
Hi Bride2be805 I agree with Bossie & Niquey, you should include FHs step mom in the "seating of parents" arrangements. I would also let mom's boyfriend sit with her as well. In any event, whatever you decide, I wish you all the best.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
I agree. I would imagine it will be awkward enough for your FH with all them there so allow each one's significant other come in and sit with the actual parent. That way no one will feel slighted.
Coppertone
On 5/27/06. Two families became ONE