I don't know if you remember some months ago, I told you about my friend who dropped out of my wedding. Well, she was quickly replaced with my cousin. Although I love my cousin dearly, she sometimes is unreliable. We had a very long talk about her participation and I emphasized how much I depended on her.
Well, I found out the date of my surprise shower and bachelorette party (This coming Saturday). I also found out how stressful she has been making the other girls. She lost her job and has not met payment deadlines. She keeps telling them she'll have the money but never come up with it.
She called my best friend/maid of honor last night and told her that she just won't participate in the bachelorette party. Mind you it's 4 days away. She was suppose to contribute $75.00 toward the dancers, food and liqour. The other girls are really stressed and have already spent a lot of moeny for both parties. I don't want them to have put in for my cousin too. Should I offer to pay for her? I am not sure how that would make them feel (like they can't handle the situation), but being that I know about it, it's not me to just sit back and do nothing.
Should I help pay?
Wed, 04/26/2006 - 14:05
#1
Should I help pay?
I don't know if you remember some months ago, I told you about my friend who dropped out of my wedding. Well, she was quickly replaced with my cousin. Although I love my cousin dearly, she sometimes is unreliable. We had a very long talk about her participation and I emphasized how much I depended on her.
Well, I found out the date of my surprise shower and bachelorette party (This coming Saturday). I also found out how stressful she has been making the other girls. She lost her job and has not met payment deadlines. She keeps telling them she'll have the money but never come up with it.
She called my best friend/maid of honor last night and told her that she just won't participate in the bachelorette party. Mind you it's 4 days away. She was suppose to contribute $75.00 toward the dancers, food and liqour. The other girls are really stressed and have already spent a lot of moeny for both parties. I don't want them to have put in for my cousin too. Should I offer to pay for her? I am not sure how that would make them feel (like they can't handle the situation), but being that I know about it, it's not me to just sit back and do nothing.
Wow, this is a tough one. Most people would probably say you shouldn't pay because it's your shower and you shouldn't have to. Me on the other, would probably offer to pay (that's just how I am).
I know my bm's are already dishing out alot of money, and I would hate to see them have to dish out more because I chose an unreliable attendant. On the same note, knowing how my friends are, even if I offered to pay, they probably wouldn't take my money. They would put extra the money in, and just "fuss" about my unreliable bridesmaid not helping.
I would say offer them the money, and either they will take it or they won't. If it would make them feel better, you can tell them to use the money towards their wedding stuff like hair, nails, etc...
*If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
Awwww sookie, sookie, now!!!! Watch out now dancers! lol
Anyway, no, I don't think you should pay for your part of your shower because your cousin couldn't handle it. I understand how you feel though. It was wrong of her to say she just won't participate 4 days before. If you want to though - offer to pay and see what they say. But, only offer if it will not put you in a bind!
[quote="SeptBride"]Awwww sookie, sookie, now!!!! Watch out now dancers! lol
Anyway, no, I don't think you should pay for your part of your shower because your cousin couldn't handle it. I understand how you feel though. It was wrong of her to say she just won't participate 4 days before. If you want to though - offer to pay and see what they say. But, only offer if it will not put you in a bind!
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I would have to agree with you on this 1. don
Bossie, gurl I tell you I agree this is a tough one. Personally I would offer to pay. Losing a job can be devestating financially and emotionally. Because you are getting closer to the wedding I would probably make the sacrifice and offer to pay. I feel for you too, in any event gurl I wish you all the best!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Bossy, I'm so sorry you are going through this so close to your day! However, it sounds like your cousin is facing some hardships and maybe she's not reliable, she just can't afford it if she's not working. To keep down confusion perhaps you could give her the $75(if u can) and have her to give it to the girls. That way they won't be talking about her and feeling that you are taking her slack. You want everyone to get along and if you pay them directly they will resent her because you had to pay for her. I hope it works out! I hope you have a ball at your party!
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That's a great idea Pure Bliss! Give the money to her and have her give it to them. If you do it that way, then maybe when she gets herself together she will pay you back.
*If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
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