Ladies I have a problem....Memorial day is supposed to be a great celebration for family to get together and celebrate the people who served and died for our country. WELL NOT FOR FH AND I THIS YEAR.
FH finally got a day off and we decided to stay at home and chill by ourselves....Well my BIL and SIL had a big cook out at their house and FH whole family went to the party. Everybody from BIL to most of my SIL'S and FMIL sat around talking about me and FH all day. The talked about us like a dog. I found out that his family dont like me and they dont think we should ne together. I already know that they always run their mouths but dang why everybody gotta talk about me. I swear I have never done anything to them to make them not like me or to ever disreapect my in that way.
Ok I also found out that since they dont like me and dont approve of our relationship they wont attend our wedding. With no parents there will be no kids. So basically we will probably be having a small wedding or going to Vegas with my family only.
Should I just ignore them and continue with our plans or just forget about inviting them all together ?
Ladies I have a problem....Memorial day is supposed to be a great celebration for family to get together and celebrate the people who served and died for our country. WELL NOT FOR FH AND I THIS YEAR.
FH finally got a day off and we decided to stay at home and chill by ourselves....Well my BIL and SIL had a big cook out at their house and FH whole family went to the party. Everybody from BIL to most of my SIL'S and FMIL sat around talking about me and FH all day. The talked about us like a dog. I found out that his family dont like me and they dont think we should ne together. I already know that they always run their mouths but dang why everybody gotta talk about me. I swear I have never done anything to them to make them not like me or to ever disreapect my in that way.
Ok I also found out that since they dont like me and dont approve of our relationship they wont attend our wedding. With no parents there will be no kids. So basically we will probably be having a small wedding or going to Vegas with my family only.
Should I just ignore them and continue with our plans or just forget about inviting them all together ?
WOW! Girl I am so sorry to hear this! Keep your head up. It has been my experience when a person doesn't like you for no reason at all, the reason is envy. Continue with your plans girl, it'll be okay.
Living my life like it's GOLDEN!!
Hi Allies, I'm sorry to hear about that. I would continue with my plans also. Don't you let anyone but you and FH dictate what kind of a wedding you will have. They are very envious and I would just keep on keeping on, and you will see it will all work out. Has anyone told you personally that they will not attend? If not then don't worry. Some of the members in my FHs family don't like me either, but I'm really not concerned because my FH loves me and that is what is important to me. Focus on the love that you and FH have for each other and later for the haters! Be encouraged!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Allies, I'm sorry to hear that. I say continue with your wedding plans and don't change them based on FH's family. You know, people/things change once their in a relationship. Ex: Lisa and Ray. Ray always used to be around his family until Lisa came into his life. Automatically, Ray's family is thinking Lisa is making him not be around them. When the reality is Ray would rather be around Lisa on his own, not because Lisa is pressuring him.
I bet most of your FH's family aren't in a relationship or do not have a relationship worth a dime. My FH's family don't care for me after I kicked his cousin's tail when I was about 19. They also don't care for me because they'd rather me be an "Okay honey whatever you say" kinda girl, than a "I know you didn't just say that nish to me" kinda girl. They are invited to the wedding but to tell you the truth, I could care less if they come. Because only a handful would actually be happy for us instead of jealous of our accomplishments.
Well said Askalot!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Continue to plan your wedding - Remember you were not there so you can not say if this is the God's honest truth....it is only hear say, I would not change anything on hear say.....Nah do not get me wrong you know whether or not these people like you but that is their problem not yours, continue to plan, do not change anything because of news and as the dates draw nearer your final decisions should be based on responses. Be careful of news carriers.
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
Great advice Ladies! I totally agree with Charly, she spoke my exact thoughts. I question why the carrier of the message brought that to you. It sounds like they are being messy. Make sure that they are not going back and giving them the same type of messages about you. Keep planning your wedding, don't let this complicate your relationship with FH and by all means kill his family with kindness no matter what you think of them. Bottom line is don't allow anyone to steal your joy. The next time someone comes to tell you something just tell them they can keep it to themselves. You can't make your FH do anything that he doesn't want to do and you're not marrying his family. Perhaps you should sit down and talk with the family to make sure that there are no misunderstandings because there could be. If you could care less then continue to do what you do. Blessings
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;0;0/st/20061007/e/My+Wedding+Day/k/0104/event.png[/img]
[/url]
Allie,my heart goes out to you.Like Charley said, it's the result of jealousy.I know it hurts but please continue with your wedding plans.Unless they come forward and tell YOU and you FH they won't attend,plan on inviting them.Don't give anyone the satisfaction of letting them know that they bother you.
My grandmother and aunts didn't approve of my dad marrying my mom but guess what,they're still together after 35 years!Some of my aunts have been married 3 and 4 times.They're still jealous of my mom.She continues to shine(and so will you)while they stand in the shadows of jealousy.
Born Blessed!
Words of wisdom from the warrior princess...
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
Awesome advice Platinum, well said!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Thanks ladies...I really needed to hear those words of encouragement.
Rhonda no one has personally told me that they wont attend our wedding but thats just how they are. THEY SMILE IN YOUR FACE AND STAB YOU IN THE BACK LATER. I just dont wanna waste my time and money trying to accomedate them at the wedding if they dont plan to attend. I dont want to rent out a big church or hall and food and invitations and I know they wont show up....That will really piss me off. I could really care less if they liked me but when you play with my money, time and emotions we have problems. Let me know now so I can plan me big day without you included, or if I planned to use your kids I can fix that too.To me as long as FH loves me for me I really dont need his family to love or even like me. I can stay away from them and only go around when necessary like FH and I already do now.
Askalot you are right on the money. FH didnt really go around his family all that much before we got together and now its even a rare occasion for him to even talk to anyone but his biological siblings. I'm not the one making him stay away in fact I tell him to go to family gathering or to call him "siblings" , but he just odnt like how they are. ALL OF THEM ARE 2 FACED,its getting to where you know if somebody was talking about you cuz they kids act funny around you or repeat what they have heard.
Only one of his "brothers" and one "sister" are married and none of the other "siblings" are or even have been. His biological siblings are younger than him so they arent thinking about marriage right now. The rest of them dont have relationships. I dont ever see them with a man but they keep having babies. I think its because we are happy that they dont like that. I knw his twin "sisters" before I knew him (since I was 10 and now 22) and now they talking crap about me too....what the heck?
I just dont want the negativity at my wedding.If you not there to support the marriage then why even come.I only want to be surrounded by LOVING people.
Charley the one who told me was probably the main one talking.He's the oh so famous BIL I have had alot of problems with (the one who starts fights at weddings). His thing is he will tell you what he said and did before anybody else can tell you, I learned that about him a long time ago. I know he's 2 faced and he even told me that he talks about us then smiles in our face,he said he do it to the whole family. I just dont like it or him. I have to tolerate him becase I keep his kids and I am planning to open a daycare with his wife, but in no way am I excited to be in his company. I avoid him at any cost becaue he tries to get stuff out of you so he can spread it around.
As far as it being hear say I know what to believe and what not to....I can pretty much feel people out.I know if you are tryna talk bad about somebody else ALL THE TIME or spread their bussines around you will do mine.I aint crazy.
PB&J I have been nothing but nice to his family when I could be a real witch with a CAPITAL B.I have no reason to act as childish as they do. Whe anyone makes comments about another family member I just smile or say ummph, oh yeah. I dont talk bad about them or anything. I just dont see whats the point.That is high school stuff and they are way too damn old to be playing those games. These people are 30 and up what kinda time to you have to sit around and talk about each other.If you got a house full of kids thats who you can give that talk time to.
This whole situation isnt affecting mine and FH relationship one bit. What it is doing is driving a bigger wedge between him and his family, and thats bad becasue FH loves his nieces and nephews to death but now he wont go see the because of their parents. Every since I been going around the all they do is talk about people. They really have no lives I guess. Its in their nature because even his "mother" will sit around and talk with them.
Thanks platinum and all you ladies.I will keep forward with my plans.Since I have yet to pick a location I will now start looking for smaller locations just in case. I'm not looking for approval becasue you can never please everyone,and if you tried you would kill yourself in the process.
I'mma keep my head up and be strong. Nothing is going to tear my spirits down. I just got really pissed off at the whole situation. I didnt let it show with his family tho, even when I found out they were saying all of this. Nobody knew I was was mad but you guys and FH, who almost called everyone and gave them a piece of his mind, one by one. Knowing them the first person woulda called the whole family to warn them he would be calling so they could deny the whole thing.
One thing I can tell about you Allies is that you can definitely handle yourself. I hope this situation will work itself out. Be encouraged!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
[quote="CharlotteModebe"]Words of wisdom from the warrior princess...
[/quote]
Lol!Thank you,Charley.But,as I dish out advice,I'm learning to take heed to my words.In my case,it's only two people in the family that are causing problems.One is the same drama-causing SIL.The other was a bridesmaid but I let her go.I won't allow someone to cause drama in my life and still participate in my wedding.If you don't like me,that's one thing.But, don't pretend to be excited in be in the wedding and then stab me in the back.
Anyway,Allie just continue to pray.Vibride sistas will be there for you,every step of the way.
Born Blessed!
[quote="platinumstyle"]I won't allow someone to cause drama in my life and still participate in my wedding.If you don't like me,that's one thing.But, don't pretend to be excited in be in the wedding and then stab me in the back.
[/quote]
I missed that post.
Sorry,Askalot.I never posted about the bridesmaid.Anyway,this bridesmaid was one of my FH's favorite cousins and my friend(so I thought).Anyway,BM seems so excited about the wedding,always asking when is the money due,what can she help out with,etc.When we were out town,I noticed his cell phone ringing late at night or early in the morning.When I answer,they hang up.When I call back,they don't answer.Very irritating.I even started accusing him and he insisted that he didn't know who's calling because they hung up on him too.Long story short,BM and her friends were behind the phone games.I don't deal her anymore.
Born Blessed!