Re: FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE (or displeasure)

This is for ErinAnne4,

First of all let me start off by saying everyone is entitled to there own opinion, what you like I may not like. However, who are you to get upset because we dont agree with you. True a wedding is suppose to be a reflection of yourself and personality, but at the sametime it is suppose to be respectful and elegant. You are getting married in an outfit from Fredrick's Of Hollywood, so what does that say about you. If that is a reflection of you are you a stripper, or a prostitute, because I know that you are not a Victoria Secret model.Also do you really want your mother, grandmother, and other people you respect see you like that? The lingerie is suppose to be for your husband's eye's only!!!!!!!!!

Sistas, I PARTIALLY agree with Erin.

Now Erin, me being me, I consider myself to be one of the more open minded people i know. I may not agree with everything you say or feel but I will defend to the death your RIGHT to say and feel as you see fit.

You are absolutely correct that a wedding should reflect on who they are and have meaning or personality to it. I agree. And if someone wants to get married in the middle of the desert in 120 degree heat wearing a Red g-string bikini and a long flowing white viel, that is indeed their prerogative, their RIGHT to do so. And if I believe in what their marriage represents and is based on then I will be honored to stand up for them and bear witness to their union and commitment.

However, in that same breath, while I will respect their RIGHT to do as they please, i would appreciate my RIGHT to an opinion to be respected as well. If it is my thought, my opinion, my belief that a red bikini is not appropriate wedding attire, it is my belief, and our differences in beliefs and values is what makes us human. we are not all monolithic groups of people.

So while I will defend your right to always feel and say as you please, you must also respect my right to call something a HOT MESS if i deem it a HOT MESS. Taste, decorum, and hot messes are all relative to each individual.

I am not a sadist myself, I think I'm more of a closet masochist. and while I will not be having my ceremony performed in front of 1000 people @ an S&M/Fetish event, I do wish your marriage to be everything you wish for it to be. I hope your ceremony turns out exactly as you hope for it to be.

Thank you for your input on this matter and perhaps in the future, you will respect the views of the other members as well.

YOU TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH!! LOL

Correct Charley! FML is a better woman than me/Bossie when it comes to this Erin person! There was no way I could've relayed my thoughts that way - especially after she was snooty!

Very well said FML! Better than I could have ever said.

Wow

I have to spell this one out!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!! What are these people thinking??!?!?!? Those of you who know me...Please slap me hard if I ever describe my wedding plans and you picture any of this mess!!!!

LOL!

I think we all would be glad to say if our idea for our wedding is a HOT MESS IN RED PUMPS!!!!!!! We are a pretty open bunch and wouldn't be offended if our opinions differed.

As the Groom in this wedding I feel it is Time to pipe in,
First of all I work for this club we met at this club and our love grew at this club so what could possibly be more romantic than getting married at THIS CLUB? (i'd be willing to bet there is a similar story with the white castle wedding) But it is alot of fun to read the opinions of a bunch of judgemental bitches who will be divorced by 2010 (anyone want to place a bet) weddings should be expressions of self and relationships not something predetermind by 18th century tradition having nothing to do with us. If you guys want to talk about tradition your fiance owes your fathers some goates and gold! everyone is enttled to there opinion your right about that MY opinion is that I hope you all get hit by busses! so for further gawking purposes here is the web link to our future wedding http://www.dcsmb.com

I AM GLAD I AM NOT MARRYING YOUR CHEAP DISRESPECTFUL ASS! YOU SOUND LIKE A DAMN FOOL, AND WHOEVER AGREED TO MARRY YOU MUST BE ONE TOO!f

Watch the language DJ! Although you are entitled to your opinion, you are in no way entitled to call us out of our names!It is possible to express yourself without that! That says alot about you! I guess Erin wasn't woman enough to come back on here and respond to our posts. As we tried to expalin to her,We are not being judgmental but sharing our opinions! I hope that your marriage is a success and would never wish a divorce on you guys even though I don't agree with your S&m style wedding. To each his/her own.I do think that you owe every woman on here an apology as well as the site administrator Rosetta!

[quote="DJPanic"]As the Groom in this wedding I feel it is Time to pipe in,
First of all I work for this club we met at this club and our love grew at this club so what could possibly be more romantic than getting married at THIS CLUB? (i'd be willing to bet there is a similar story with the white castle wedding) But it is alot of fun to read the opinions of a bunch of judgemental bitches who will be divorced by 2010 (anyone want to place a bet) weddings should be expressions of self and relationships not something predetermind by 18th century tradition having nothing to do with us. If you guys want to talk about tradition your fiance owes your fathers some goates and gold! everyone is enttled to there opinion your right about that MY opinion is that I hope you all get hit by busses! so for further gawking purposes here is the web link to our future wedding http://www.dcsmb.com
[/quote]

IMHO, that was just mean. You just gave up a perfectly good opportunity to open up these ladies eyes to your world and show something different can be beautiful and romantic even with the differences of opinions with the ladies on this site. Now, as I said before:

I am not a sadist myself, I think I'm more of a closet masochist. and while I will not be having my ceremony performed in front of 1000 people @ an S&M/Fetish event, I do wish your marriage to be everything you wish for it to be. I hope your ceremony turns out exactly as you hope for it to be.

Maybe when you speak to me with the same respect I have given your fiance we can have a civil ADULT conversation without the name calling.... 1 Love

[quote="PureBliss"]Watch the language DJ! Although you are entitled to your opinion, you are in no way entitled to call us out of our names!It is possible to express yourself without that! That says alot about you! I guess Erin wasn't woman enough to come back on here and respond to our posts. As we tried to expalin to her,We are not being judgmental but sharing our opinions! I hope that your marriage is a success and would never wish a divorce on you guys even though I don't agree with your S&m style wedding. To each his/her own.I do think that you owe every woman on here an apology as well as the site administrator Rosetta!
[/quote]
PB & J, You said this perfectly!!!!

I'm not about to get riled up behind you or your FW, DJ. However, I would like to say, you are a TRUE sorry excuse for a man! Scratch that, you're still a boy, IMO. No one here stooped to name calling - but what else should we expect? You are so ignorant that it's not even funny! For you to wish someone harm/death is such the thought of the devil himself. Before you call yourself telling someone off, please speak correct English. If the club is what your relationship is based off of, then I don't see how anyone here could possibly be divorced before you two! Now, if you have nothing important to say, PLEASE DON'T COME BACK. Oh, and you can tell that your side kick as well!

OMG I have been on this site for about a year and I have never seen such language expressed. To the guilty parties, this type of confusion is not welcomed here. We are a loving sistahood and we would like to keep it that way!

i love you askalot

I love you too FML! :-)

Ya'll are a trip...

Wow - Okay guys,

Before I was just mildly curious but I am now deeply offended. My Man is man enough and educated enough never to call me names and I will not have a random (hmmmmmmm - Father in heaven help me!) gentleman disrespect me in this way! I can tell that many of the ladies feel this way so I suggest that these people be suspended from posting. And this post be closed

I agree...kick them off! They probably just came to start drama anyway

lol
they can dish it out but they can't take it
Well I respect that everyone has the right to voice their opinion those same people have to respect a desenting opinion when it is shot there way. Imagine how those couples and their friends in the pics feel when they surf by this sight and see the catty ridcule they are recieving. How will you feel when you see your wedding on some thread like this? also you said people have the right to voice their opinions
well it is geniunly my opinion that most of the women on this board are bitches who should be hit by busses

Please reread the posts on this thread sir and you will find that no one has 'dished out' obscenities or vulgar remarks to you or your FW or for that matter - about the people whose pictures were originally posted here (if anyone has the right to be upset about this thread it would probably be them) so your last post really has no relevance.

While even the person with the strongest opinion on this thread deserves basic respect, the truth is, Sir that many of the ladies who are reading this conversation don't have much input at all. I personally don't care what you do. So for you to post a blanket obscenity and insult to the ladies who participate in this forum is inappropriate and unacceptable!

Ladies - I have reported this post to the administrator. This is the end of the matter for me!

Thank you! Let's leave it alone! No need to keep up this post!

I am so glad this is over.Let me find out we are going to have to start screening people! LOL

now i have not been to their site, but for those of you who have, when they put their wedding pix up... post em here so we can go back to laughing at the things we find strange. It is our God given right to do so.

I STARTED WRITING THIS POST B4 AND SAID NEVER MIND IT DID NT DESERVE A REPLY BUT SINCE YOU INSIST. LETS BEGIN WITH THE ONLY TIME PEOPLE USE THIS KIND OF LANGUAGE SO PROFUSELY AS YOU DID, IS WHEN THEY HAVE A VERY LIMITED VOCABULARY AND ARE THEREFORE INCAPABLE OF EXPRESSING THEMSELVES ANY OTHER WAY. I FOR 1 DID NOT TAKE IT OFFENSIVELY WHEN YOU USED THE LANGUAGE YOU DID AND CALLED FEMALES THE WORDS YOU USED SINCE YOU SEEM TO BE VERY VERSED IN THE QUALIFICATIONS OF WHAT MAKES A FEMALE A B****. WHICH OBVIOUSLY SHOWS YOU ARE NOT ONLY WITH ONE NOW AS YOUR LIFEMATE, BUT YOU WERE RAISED BY ONE AS WELL. SO IF IT IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOUR MOTHER,,,ENOUGH SAID. I KNOW WHO AND WHAT I AM. AS ALL THE OTHER LADIES HERE DO. YOU AND YOUR GIRL MADE THE CHOICE TO RESPOND TO OUR OPINION. TO EACH HIS OWN. IF YOUR GIRL COULD NOT TAKE IT, OR DID NOT AGREE, SHE COULD HAVE MADE THE CHOICE TO NOT REPLY, INTELLIGENTLY REPLY, OR NOT FREQUENT THIS SITE AGAIN. BUT LIKE A LITTLE GIRL WHO WAS UNABLE TO FIGHT HER OWN BATTLES, SHE RAN TO HER BOYFRIEND. LIKE THE LITTLE BOY YOU ARE, YOU CHOSE TO PICK A FIGHT. I WOULD LIKE TO THANK YOU HOWEVER, FOR SHOWING US WHAT WE ALREADY KNEW. WE HAVE REAL MEN IN OUR LIVES WHO DO NOT GET INVOLVED WITH THINGS THAT CONCERN WOMEN. AND SINCE YOU PROBABLY ARE TO IGNORANT TO UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM SAYING, I WILL PUT IT QUITE SIMPLY AND THEN I AM DONE WITH YOU. WE DO NOT PLAY WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN, SO GO AWAY. WE WILL NOT RESPOND OR READ ANYTHING ELSE YOU WRITE SINCE OUR MY MOTHER'S TAUGHT US TO LEAVE GARBAGE IN THE STREET AND THAT IS WHAT YOU BOTH ARE. YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK. GOODBYE!!!!!

ok
It does not show a small vocabularyif it is proparly used I could use 50 cent words to describe the "ladies" on this board but nothing would some up the mentality of you all quite like the word bitch.
It seems to me the comon link in all your postings is that you have the right to speak your mind. I agree but others also have the right to speak theres. If you want to pick on these weddings fine but if I want to pick on you it is also aceptabile Fredom of speach is about unpopular as well as popular speach. Your the type of people that would belive the naacp can speak but the kkk should be banned ALL speach is valid as is it's rebutal.
I must wonder what are these things that only concern women? Picking on peoples weddings is a womens issue only and a man must stay quite?
but I have to thank you as you have thanked me for once again reafirming That I have a real woman. A woman who is open minded and intellegent and speaks her mind a woman who doesnt get led by arcaic traditions following a scripted wedding created 100 years ago. Awoman who would never use a phrase like tonly concerns women. not one of you judgemental, narrow minded, Bold Textbitches

You are right DJPanic, you have a right to post your opinion and so do they. But the limited vocabulary and lack of spelling skills prove to me that you are in fact a JACKASS. Good day.

I am still confused as to this lack of vocabulary you mention. I have a fine vocabulary wich alows me to pick the aproprite word to describe something/one. If you see a rat you call it a rat you dont have to come up with a big word for it. Well the same goes for a bitch

I'm not sure why people are so insistant on my responding to this board again. The reason why I didn't has nothing to do with being a "little girl", it was because I came across this site accidentally looking on google for something. I didn't like seeing those people torn up for having their own idea of what a wedding should be, so I just wanted to say my opinion on the matter and leave because I just didn't care more beyond that.

It was over a week later when I kept seeing all these notices in my e mail in box for replies to it that I decided to check and was astonished at what I saw. I've never seen people defend their right to be mean so strongly! As for being entitled to your opinion, of course you are - but so are they. That is all I was pointing out, that we should not be judgemental of others. I would never do myself what most of those women did, but its their right to do it. Its more important for them to be happy and have the wedding they want. Somehow that point got lost though.

As for needing my husband to fight my battles for me, I didn't see it as a battle. I was in shock and he asked what was going on so I showed him. While I had not itnerest in continuing it, he is much more interested in debating, especially when it comes to free speach. I never asked him to do it, he is a free person and can decide for himself.

I agree with him though that what everyone's posts seem to say is "I can have my opinion, but you can't have yours" or at the very least, "you can have your opinion - so long as it agrees with mine."

As for our wedding pictures, they will not be posted on that site this year, thats a promotional site only to advertise for the event until it arrives. However, the pictures will be covered in several magazines.

Someone asked how my family felt about it. Our families know and while my parents don't feel comfortable attending the ceremony there, they 100% respect our right to have the wedding we want. As for lingerie only being meant for your husband - you are entitled to feel that way. Personally I'm proud of my body! It does not make me a whore though and I have no idea what I said to make someone respond to me in that way. Thats why I got to these types of environment to meet like minded people.

As for our marriage not lasting because of the club - I don't see how they are related. I think we will last because he is definitely my soul mate. But meeting at the club does not invalidate our relationship. Lots of people meet at work. We have a lot of mutual friends there as well who all think we are the ideal couple and they hope to find someone as perfect for them some day.

You are all allowed to think those weddings were weird or ugly, I just also think they have the right to have those weddings and since its such a special day for them, would probably be hurt to see what people said about them.

Erin you seem a bit more reasonable than your FH so I choose to reply to you. I can speak only for myself. First of all your opinion doesn't have to agree with any one elses. I think many of the ladies on the site made that clear. However the reality is that many of the ladies opinions differ with your and they have the right to express their opinions as well. People have their own ideas about 'weird' including you.

However my personal problem was not with yours and you future husband's right to debate, to disagree or to do whatever you want to for your wedding BUT with his insistence on usings obscenities in doing so. I for one have a serious problem with the way that certain obscene and vulgar words are tossed around the black community and it seems that many of those words are degrading to women and or to black people specifically. It is my opinion that we as black people have been through enough as a diaspora to not be attacked from the inside and when I see that happening I feel the need to address it. I've no doubt that the objective of your FH, by using certain launguage is to attempt to upset the flow of this site. He certainly does not seem to be debating but rather inciting inflammatory emotions. However I think that is a small issue. We have built a very strong community here and his comments will only serve to unite us further.

However the big issue to me is his seeming need to contribute to the degradation of black women in the process. It seems like a 'what ever you do I can do worse' situation and that has nothing to do with intelligent and reasonable debate. So my request to you and to your husband is to keep it clean and if he truly will not do that because from the trends of his posts he takes pleasure in disrespecting the women on this post and has done so repeatedly then he will be asked to leave.

I infact have requested that this entire thread be deleted and Ladies I am calling on you to simply not acknowledge any more posts from DJpanic unless there is a formal apology of some kind.

I just would like to point out that I have only made 2 posts and have not used 1 obscenity in either - please go back and look. It is me who apparently has been called a bitch, a whore, a little girl, etc. when I did not make such insults to anyone else. I just wanted to point that out.

I also want to point out that it was not me who kept this thread going. I never intended to come back to it. It was people baiting me to come back that made me finally give in - and mind you that had started even before my husband got involved.

But I'm too happy to be upset about all this - less than 3 weeks until I'm Mrs. Panic!!

Rosie...can you delete this post please?

I have no idea what the word bitch has to do with race There are bitches of all races. Your behaviors are what demeans black women I can just picture the steriotype of a bunch of hens sitting around hairdryers gossiping
btw deleating this thread would be great. Its a shame that those people might find you pathetic creatures bashing them some day well searching the web

Rosie, where are you???????????????? Please give me the authority to delete a post!!!! Please kick this "man" off this site. I have never seen a man come on here to post like this. FH would think I was crazy to tell him about y'all and then for him to come post. Hince the websites name ViBRIDE! Please excuse yourself. We've never had to encounter such a pain in the azz like this before.

Ladies, please ignore (as hard as it may be) this jerk (putting it nicely).

Ladies,please stop responding to this guy.He is the type of person that will feed off of negative energy!If you continue to give this guy what he wants,he'll continue to hang around and post idiotic messages!Remember why Rosie started this site and remember why we log on...to share ideas and advice.Many of us have become friends because of this site.We don't need to let anything like this to disrupt the sisterhood!

Well said Platinum!!!!

Very well said ladies. However, I must respond. By working in law enforcement I come across these types everyday. VIBRIDES, he can picture us because he is either gay, and wants to be US(REAL FISH), or he yearns for the affection of a black woman. Whatever the case may be, we cannot give him any more space to rent in our heads. WHOOOO WHOOOO OVER HERE!!! VIBRIDES!!!! REMEMBER, WE HAVE WEDDINGS TO PLAN!!!! So let's thank DJPanic for his foolishness and get back to the task at hand.

I couldn't agree more. Enough already..it's like the bug that just won't die no matter how hard you stomp. Let it be ladies.

LADIES, I HAVE MY DRESS. ALL MY GIRL'S DRESSES AND FLOWER GIRLS ATTIRE. I HAVE MADE MY BRIDAL PARTY'S BOUQUETS AND STARTED SOME CENTERPEICES. MY WEDDING IS IN JULY. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO UNTIL THEN??? I STARTED SO FAR AHEAD THAT I AM NOW BORED STIFF AND NO LONGER WANT TO GO OVER WEDDING PLANS W/FH. CAN WE SAY BURNED OUT!!!

Tajmom lets put our plans under another topic,so the others wouldn't think we are keeping this post up.So I will start a new topic under burn out,will this day please hurry and come