Okay ladies. Here's what I was going to say from a response from another post. I just decided to start a new topic.
It's funny how we hold things in until someone else say something (I'm guilty of this sometimes). But, I was just telling my Matron of Honor (Bossie) over the weekend how I'm doubting it. Now, keep in mind ladies, FH & I have been together for 8 years. We have been through almost every situation imaginable. Anyway, we are having some problems that can be fixed on both ends, if we want to (they're minor but it could lead to bigger problems later). But, I asked her, if you ask yourself "Is he really the one for me" or "What am I about to do", does this mean that you shouldn't get married. She said no. I know we women go through our hormonal changes and I question almost everything.
My cousin told me it's just that I'm getting more nervous because I'm getting closer to the year mark. Under any circumstances do I not see FH in my life EVER. I love this man to pieces ladies. I know God placed him in my life and me in his for His master plan. How dare I question God's motives???? You know at one time FH & I wasn't doing good. And I prayed to God that he removes this man (FH) out of my life if he isn't the one for me - not long after that our relationship took a turn for the better! Then next thing you knew, FH was bringing up marriage (not me). I know this man truly loves me and vice versa. So, in short, as my MOH said to me, don't try to make a decision on something when you are mad/angry/upset. Thank you Bossie for always being the ear that I can turn to.
Okay ladies. Here's what I was going to say from a response from another post. I just decided to start a new topic.
It's funny how we hold things in until someone else say something (I'm guilty of this sometimes). But, I was just telling my Matron of Honor (Bossie) over the weekend how I'm doubting it. Now, keep in mind ladies, FH & I have been together for 8 years. We have been through almost every situation imaginable. Anyway, we are having some problems that can be fixed on both ends, if we want to (they're minor but it could lead to bigger problems later). But, I asked her, if you ask yourself "Is he really the one for me" or "What am I about to do", does this mean that you shouldn't get married. She said no. I know we women go through our hormonal changes and I question almost everything.
My cousin told me it's just that I'm getting more nervous because I'm getting closer to the year mark. Under any circumstances do I not see FH in my life EVER. I love this man to pieces ladies. I know God placed him in my life and me in his for His master plan. How dare I question God's motives???? You know at one time FH & I wasn't doing good. And I prayed to God that he removes this man (FH) out of my life if he isn't the one for me - not long after that our relationship took a turn for the better! Then next thing you knew, FH was bringing up marriage (not me). I know this man truly loves me and vice versa. So, in short, as my MOH said to me, don't try to make a decision on something when you are mad/angry/upset. Thank you Bossie for always being the ear that I can turn to.
Bossie has given you excellent advice. I would say that it is natural to ask yourself those questions. All relationships have their challenges and as your cousin told you, you are getting closer to the year mark. I am getting married in a little over three months and sometimes I ask myself the same question. Right after we moved in together, we started arguing over "trivial stupid" stuff. We always got through it because we have vowed to keep the lines of communciation open. Askalot you are an intelligent, no non-sense person that has a relationship with God. Remember to keep your relationship in the Light of God and you and your fiance will be fine. Be encouraged!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
You are very welcome sweetie. You can always talk to me about anything...(just dont call me in the middle of the night...just kidding) Seriously, what you and your FH go through are minor, but need to be addressed before they escalate. Every relationship has problems, and if someone says their relationship doesn't...something is wrong with that relationship. It's normal to question if you are doing the right thing. The same way you would question any big step in your life (ie:having a baby, buying a car or house). You just have to trust your heart and trust God.
Amen Bossie!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Awww thank you ladies! Bossie what would I do without you????????? That's why you're my Matron of Honor! I'm very happy that I'm not the only that has questions!!!!! You're right in everything that you've stated!
Be blessed my sista, it will be alright!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Thank you.
She is already blessed, more than she even knows.
Relationships are hard work and marriage will be even more of a challenge. I know that whenever FH and I get into an argument or disagreement, no matter how large or small, I think, am I doing the right thing? FH and i have been together for 4 years, and have had trials as well and came through them all. When FH first proposed I was on Cloud 9 for weeks yet when we had our first argument after the proposal, I was devastated. More so than usual. And I don't think of myself as a drama queen but the topic wasn't even that serious and I was upset at the fact that we were even arguing and of course thought, am I doing the right thing? Deep down I know that I am, yet emotions play such a big part in my thoughts. I think being engaged has softened me to a whole different level. But Like you said, I know without a question in my mind, heart and soul that he loves me and has my back in ANY situation. He has shown me what unconditional love means time after time. Sometimes I think I want that fairytale love affair and every now I have to remind myself that he's not perfect NOR am I and that there will be good as well as bad times and that this too shall past.
"Today Frustration sat across the table from me, Anger sat next to him mocking me, Criticism sat behind me laughing, but to my right sat Faith and she held my hand. To my left sat Perseverance and she whispered in my ear "you can do it"
Well said!!!!
I agree!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Great topic, thanks for sharing Askalot! It is very common it seems because I know that I have felt that way many times but usually when we have argued or he does something that annoys me. I'm already married and just questioned myself on Friday after I got upset with my husband. Continue to pray is my advice. Marriage is what God wants for us and he will do a perfect work to keep it together as long as we do. The devil is not pleased with us marrying and being happy, he wants to steal our joy, kill our dreams and destroy our marriages by any means necessary. God has your back! Your marriage will be blessed! The best is yet to come!
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Great advice,PB&J!Askalot,it sounds like you have "cold feet".Don't feel bad.A lot of people go through it.As a matter of fact,my brother decided a week before his wedding that he didn't want to get married.He prayed about it and now he and my SIL have been married for 2 years.They're very happy!Just continue to pray and we will do the same for you!
Born Blessed!
Askalot, I think you are referring to me and what I posted on the Best Friend post. I just want you to know I really appreciate what all you ladies have said, but I have never thought about asking God to remove him from life if he wasn't the one. I just keep asking him to fix whatever is wrong to make him the one. I remember one day my FH asked why I woke up in his arms one night after telling him he could stay in my room but he had to promise to keep his hands to himself and sleep on top of the sheets. I said because for the first time in my life I felt safe. Well now I don't feel that way. I feel like he feels it is my job or duty to be here. See I met him while he was going through a divorce and I told him I would always be there for him and I just don't know anymore.
Like MrsPatrick2b said when he finally did ask me I was like on top of the world and then we went right back to where we started and I just don't know. So like you ladies said I have to turn it over to God because this is definitely one I can't fight alone. Just pray for my strength.
Southerngirl.....
Sheawill, I will definately keep you in my prayers! Did something in particular happen to make you feel this way? Have you always doubted it? Have you ever told him how you feel? Maybe you should have one of those "Baby, we need to talk" talks. Get everything out and see what happens from there.
Sheawill the sistahood is praying for you darling. Be encouraged.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37