Momma Drama!!!

Sorry to hear about all of the confusion that you have been having. However, just like you said she is sad to be losing you and is expressing her pain the wrong way. I would sit down with her and explain to her that you will always be in her life and that you are not going anyway. I would advice her to look at it like she is not losing a daughter, but infact gaining a son. If she is having problems about him only working pt. Tell her that it may not seem like alot now, but in the long run it will all pay off. Sweetie you are only 24 and trust me you are still young. At that age it is very rare that you find a man who is focused and willing to be mature enough to take that big of a step. If your mother still insist on not paying for the wedding dont even worry about it. Just take your time and plan your wedding. Get idea's, and learn how to do alot of things yourself. Trust me if this is GOD'S will everything will turn out fine.

CIN,

I really sympathize with your situation. Try to remember that to our Mom's we are always their daughters. it's really hard to give you up in a sense. I feel as though you should give it some time and sit down and talk things out with her. I'm sure she just said things out of anger. Every parent wants to know that their child is being taken care of. Once you've spoken with you Mom and she still refuses to pay for anything, then you can start saving and planning to pay for it yourself.

Do not worry about. Love your mother as she is. You can pay for the wedding yourself and still have a great day. Forgive her. She may have other issues going on.

YOu do not have to rush to get pregnant however as you are only 24 but keep in mind that you do not have forever. Start a family when your are ready physically, emotionally and financially. Good luck.

I can understand what you are going through because at 1st my mother didn't feel that my husband had his self together enough financially to marry me. Your mother is concerned about your well-being and that's perfectly normal. She doesn't want you to go through unnecessary struggles. I'm sure that she likes your FH and thinks he's a good man but she probably feels that you all should marry after he graduates and has found a full-time job. As for the "shacking up" as my Mother called it, you do what you feel you need to. If you don't feel convicted about living with your FH then so be it. Our mothers are going to express their opinions and they are going to worry about us, that's just a mother. I think that maybe you and FH need to sit down and have a long talk about your situation as well as review your finances honestly to make sure that you are really able to take on such a huge financial responsibility(wedding) at this time. Maybe once you all do that you can go and talk with your mother with a solid plan. This should ease her mind knowing that you all have a plan and that things are going to work out. If she stilldoesn't want to pay then you'll already have a plan in place. Now that my husband has a higher paying job my parents feel so much better about our situation and are more supportive. They don't know that we secretly went to the JOP be we know and our Pastor due and that's all that matters. We didn't feel the need to tell them because it's God that we wanted to be right with. I wish you well!

Hi CrazyInLove, I totally understand what you are going through. My Mom has had her moments also. I sincerely believe that she has your best interests at heart.

However, I would like to ask one question and forgive me, but I must ask. Does your Mom have a man in her life? Sometimes our mothers try to live their lives through their children.

In any event your Mom may feel that she is losing you and she want's what's best for you although she may not have expressed it in the best way. I would just go on and pay for my wedding and not worry about anyone else. I wish you and Todd the very best. Be encouraged.

CrazyInLove,
I totally understand! My mom got divorced from my dad, and is so salty about being married or attached that she won't even get the guts to marry her own man, even though they have been together for years....AND because she had not resolved her own issues, she bled them on me and tried to make me feel like if a man isn't "making this much" or "working in so and so career" then he isn't the man I need to marry, so of course when I got engaged, I called her that night excited, and we were on the phone for about 3 hours (until my phone died!). I told her finally to stop being so scary as if because my FH isn't making big bucks today, he is going to want to keep making what he makes now forever (like my man is lazy or something!)...I called her out on her faith in God's ability to make sitations better, she hems and haws about how bad her marriage went but I said....my fiance is not my dad! She even told me that I'm attracted to my FH cause he looks like my dad....I said NOOOOO I see now that YOU are tripping cause YOU thinks he looks like my dad and YOU ALSO BELIEVE that he will dog you like my dad did........fearful moms like ours need PRAYER honey, and lots of it, and a good dose of faith! The test is can you (she) believe that God will keep his word, even if everything around you (her) today seems bleak.....When I told her that she finally calmed down....Don't get me wrong, my mom and I still chat like teenagers about good gossip but ever so often I have to call her out on her fears.....Don't let this stop you! Especially if you know God said that this is your husband.....Fear is bred from a lack of trust in God and thats real talk! I know because I still have fears, but I always always come back to God, because HE is the source of my strength, and will provide like no other can....YOU and your FH can do this....and you can do this as YOUR hearts desire, if you keep the faith and walk the path....
Like many of us, you are experiencing how weddings can bring people's REAL feelings about you, your decisions, and your FH....Stay strong, and we're praying for you!
Don't be missing work and not making no money cause folks are tripping, even if those folks are kin....Keep praying, and they will come around! If not, pray and pray and pray some more until change happens.....

CONGRATS AND GOOD LUCK. IT SEEMS TO ME YOU KNOW WHAT MOM'S ISSUES ARE AN CAN COPE. ALL THE LADIES ARE RIGHT WITH THEIR ADVICE AND YOU SHLD TAKE WHAT YOU NEED AND LEAVE THE REST. I AM NOW GOING TO ADD MY TWO CENTS. AS BLESSED AND CHERISHED AS WE ARE TO HAVE OUR MOM'S, THEY ARE STILL PEOPLE AND ARE FLAWED!!! PLEASE INCLUDE YOUR MOM BUT PAY FOR YOUR OWN WEDDING!!!!! I'M TELLING YOU THIS WILL CUT DOWN ON YOUR STRESS. WHEN PEOPLE ARE PAYING THEY FEEL LIKE THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO GET THEIR OWN WAY ON SEVERAL ISSUES AND LEVELS WHILE FORGETTING IT'S YOUR WEDDING, IT SHLD BE YOUR WAY. IF THIS MEANS PUSHING THE DATE BCK THEN DO SO BUT GOD'S WILL BE ONE. GIRL DID YOU NOT SEE THE LAST BRIDEZILLA???lol P A Y 4 Y O U R O W N W E D D I N G

Pay for it yourself. If she later wants to contribute let her and just save the money you would have spent. When you pay for your own affair you alleviate a great portion of the power struggles.

I agree!

I agree with pretty much everyone else is saying,just pray for your mom and everything else will fall in place.LOL

Good luck CrazyInLove and I wish you all the best!

Girl you will be just fine. Dont lose any sleep over it.

Listen to housewife! Lets not lose any sleep....We have to keep our composure and stay cool....Everything will work out in the end.