Ivy I was thinking about you when I was heading that way. I'll be traveling that way much more often so who knows, maybe we will meet also. If you don't mind me asking, which school do you work at? I used to go to Cheyney University not far from there and I have relatives at Lincoln and UPenn which is also near.
Yeah I try to let my daughter handle things on her own but I felt I had to keep after her regarding this particular incident. Not particularly because of the lack of respect aspect of it all, but more so because of safety risks involved. They have since talked about this again and I think they have a better understanding regarding each others expectations regarding overnight guests. My daughter says if it continues to be a problem she will get the RD involved. So she's handling it.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
[quote="IvyPrincess"]Dang, I'm just reading this. Your baby is up my way in Philly. As far as the roommate issues, please know this is common, if it wasn't a boyfriend then she would be messy or she would eat stinky food or whatever. But dealing with the issue on her own is a part of growing up. Take it from somebody who works in higher ed every day; you have to teach her the tools to fight her own battles and utilize the resources and outlets she has at her disposal. This part of college is just as important as class and studying.
[/quote]
Hey Ivy-good to see you back! how are things going with the planning? time is winding down... :)
That's great Pamcrow, I'm glad your daughter spoke to her roommate on this situation. I have a few friends with daughter's in their freshman year of college, and I have heard about some nightmares! I've heard about roommates using each others towels (nasty!!!!), eating each others food (inconsiderate and down right rude!!!), and an overnight guest, who called the roommate a *itch because he touched her when she was sitting down studying and she asked him not to touch her because she doesn't know him. Can you imagine!!!!!
I must say as a parent looking in I want my daughter to become independent. But the mother in me wants to step in and help her fix things. I am learning to let my daughter grow and use the resources at hand to deal with whatever situations may arise. It is strange learning to parent from this "new" perspective, but I know it is for my daughter's good. It hasn't been easy for me to let go.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
[quote="DaughterRhonda"] I've heard about roommates using each others towels (nasty!!!!), eating each others food (inconsiderate and down right rude!!!), and an overnight guest, who called the roommate a *itch because he touched her when she was sitting down studying and she asked him not to touch her because she doesn't know him. Can you imagine!!!!!
[/quote]
I tried to tell my daughter the roommates can be trifling enough to use each other towels and she looked at me like I was crazy. My daughter lives in a two bedroom suite style dorm room where they share a bathroom. All the other girls leave there personal items inside the bath room. I told me daughter to make sure she keeps her stuff in her room for that very reason, plus no need to be arguing over who used my tampons, shampoo,lotion, etc. Plus since she is the only black girl out the four (she shares room with an asian girl and the other two are white)she doesn't know who is secretly prejudice and start tampering with her stuff. I've heard a disgusting story before about someone urinating on someone's toothbrush. You just never know.
[quote="DaughterRhonda"]
I must say as a parent looking in I want my daughter to become independent. But the mother in me wants to step in and help her fix things. I am learning to let my daughter grow and use the resources at hand to deal with whatever situations may arise. It is strange learning to parent from this "new" perspective, but I know it is for my daughter's good. It hasn't been easy for me to let go.
[/quote]
I've always been a tough love type of parent for the most part. Sometimes it makes me come across as if I don't care about certain things involving her but I've had to explain to her a few times that when she gets older she'll understand why I don't always rush right in with guns loaded but whenever I feel her safety is compromised, I'm that mother you don't want to mess with. But you're right, it is very hard to let go.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
[quote="pamcrow"]
I tried to tell my daughter the roommates can be trifling enough to use each other towels and she looked at me like I was crazy. My daughter lives in a two bedroom suite style dorm room where they share a bathroom. All the other girls leave there personal items inside the bath room. I told me daughter to make sure she keeps her stuff in her room for that very reason, plus no need to be arguing over who used my tampons, shampoo,lotion, etc. Plus since she is the only black girl out the four (she shares room with an asian girl and the other two are white)she doesn't know who is secretly prejudice and start tampering with her stuff. I've heard a disgusting story before about someone urinating on someone's toothbrush. You just never know.
I've always been a tough love type of parent for the most part. Sometimes it makes me come across as if I don't care about certain things involving her but I've had to explain to her a few times that when she gets older she'll understand why I don't always rush right in with guns loaded but whenever I feel her safety is compromised, I'm that mother you don't want to mess with. But you're right, it is very hard to let go.
[/quote]
Hammercy PamCrow ....urinating on someone's toothbrush --OMG, that is just trifling. I bought my daughter a caddy and told her to keep her personal items in it, in her room. She told me that some of the girls leave personal items in the bathroom also -- how can anyone do that???? They don't really know the people they are dorming with. These days you have to be cautious, because as you said you just never know.
PamCrow, one day we will be able to look back on these days and have wonderful memories -- because right now, I am being challenged to grow -- this is one big life lesson for me and my daughter -- LOL!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Ivy I was thinking about you when I was heading that way. I'll be traveling that way much more often so who knows, maybe we will meet also. If you don't mind me asking, which school do you work at? I used to go to Cheyney University not far from there and I have relatives at Lincoln and UPenn which is also near.
Yeah I try to let my daughter handle things on her own but I felt I had to keep after her regarding this particular incident. Not particularly because of the lack of respect aspect of it all, but more so because of safety risks involved. They have since talked about this again and I think they have a better understanding regarding each others expectations regarding overnight guests. My daughter says if it continues to be a problem she will get the RD involved. So she's handling it.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
[quote="IvyPrincess"]Dang, I'm just reading this. Your baby is up my way in Philly. As far as the roommate issues, please know this is common, if it wasn't a boyfriend then she would be messy or she would eat stinky food or whatever. But dealing with the issue on her own is a part of growing up. Take it from somebody who works in higher ed every day; you have to teach her the tools to fight her own battles and utilize the resources and outlets she has at her disposal. This part of college is just as important as class and studying.
[/quote]
Hey Ivy-good to see you back! how are things going with the planning? time is winding down... :)
That's great Pamcrow, I'm glad your daughter spoke to her roommate on this situation. I have a few friends with daughter's in their freshman year of college, and I have heard about some nightmares! I've heard about roommates using each others towels (nasty!!!!), eating each others food (inconsiderate and down right rude!!!), and an overnight guest, who called the roommate a *itch because he touched her when she was sitting down studying and she asked him not to touch her because she doesn't know him. Can you imagine!!!!!
I must say as a parent looking in I want my daughter to become independent. But the mother in me wants to step in and help her fix things. I am learning to let my daughter grow and use the resources at hand to deal with whatever situations may arise. It is strange learning to parent from this "new" perspective, but I know it is for my daughter's good. It hasn't been easy for me to let go.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
[quote="DaughterRhonda"] I've heard about roommates using each others towels (nasty!!!!), eating each others food (inconsiderate and down right rude!!!), and an overnight guest, who called the roommate a *itch because he touched her when she was sitting down studying and she asked him not to touch her because she doesn't know him. Can you imagine!!!!!
[/quote]
I tried to tell my daughter the roommates can be trifling enough to use each other towels and she looked at me like I was crazy. My daughter lives in a two bedroom suite style dorm room where they share a bathroom. All the other girls leave there personal items inside the bath room. I told me daughter to make sure she keeps her stuff in her room for that very reason, plus no need to be arguing over who used my tampons, shampoo,lotion, etc. Plus since she is the only black girl out the four (she shares room with an asian girl and the other two are white)she doesn't know who is secretly prejudice and start tampering with her stuff. I've heard a disgusting story before about someone urinating on someone's toothbrush. You just never know.
[quote="DaughterRhonda"]
I must say as a parent looking in I want my daughter to become independent. But the mother in me wants to step in and help her fix things. I am learning to let my daughter grow and use the resources at hand to deal with whatever situations may arise. It is strange learning to parent from this "new" perspective, but I know it is for my daughter's good. It hasn't been easy for me to let go.
[/quote]
I've always been a tough love type of parent for the most part. Sometimes it makes me come across as if I don't care about certain things involving her but I've had to explain to her a few times that when she gets older she'll understand why I don't always rush right in with guns loaded but whenever I feel her safety is compromised, I'm that mother you don't want to mess with. But you're right, it is very hard to let go.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
[quote="pamcrow"]
I tried to tell my daughter the roommates can be trifling enough to use each other towels and she looked at me like I was crazy. My daughter lives in a two bedroom suite style dorm room where they share a bathroom. All the other girls leave there personal items inside the bath room. I told me daughter to make sure she keeps her stuff in her room for that very reason, plus no need to be arguing over who used my tampons, shampoo,lotion, etc. Plus since she is the only black girl out the four (she shares room with an asian girl and the other two are white)she doesn't know who is secretly prejudice and start tampering with her stuff. I've heard a disgusting story before about someone urinating on someone's toothbrush. You just never know.
I've always been a tough love type of parent for the most part. Sometimes it makes me come across as if I don't care about certain things involving her but I've had to explain to her a few times that when she gets older she'll understand why I don't always rush right in with guns loaded but whenever I feel her safety is compromised, I'm that mother you don't want to mess with. But you're right, it is very hard to let go.
[/quote]
Hammercy PamCrow ....urinating on someone's toothbrush --OMG, that is just trifling. I bought my daughter a caddy and told her to keep her personal items in it, in her room. She told me that some of the girls leave personal items in the bathroom also -- how can anyone do that???? They don't really know the people they are dorming with. These days you have to be cautious, because as you said you just never know.
PamCrow, one day we will be able to look back on these days and have wonderful memories -- because right now, I am being challenged to grow -- this is one big life lesson for me and my daughter -- LOL!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
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