Breast Implants

Well spoken Eloi, and Rosie you are sooooooooo right on your advice on Marriage!

[quote="Rosetta"]In marriage there is no more I, there is only WE and OUR. You aren't just doing this to YOU you are doing it to HIM too! [/quote]

Well said Rosie. That's just it. A lot of people really do not KNOW what MARRIAGE actually is. They go into it with the attitude well I'm my own person and I make any decisions I want to. Some people really aren't cut out for marriage (well what marriage is in God's eyes - what really matters).

I cant comment on that one. I understand that marriage is a partnership, however decisions about my body is up to me. I have no problem with consulting with my fh about the children, bills, buying a home, a new car, etc... I got my tubes tied, and my fh was against it( actually rings was put around my fallopian tubes, and I could have them removed if I wanted to). I decided to have this done because I didnt want to have anymore children. I am in school full time to be a forensic scientist, I work full time in the marketing department for a health center, and I enjoy traveling. I dont think that I have the time, money, or energy right now for another child. We have two children ( two girls) and he wants a son. I had my tubes tied because I didnt want to get pregnant, and I didnt want to have an abortion. I have tried almost every birth control out there and nothing worked for me except the birth control shot. I had be getting the shot for three years and it cause me to have constant pain in my legs. My doctor advised me to stop taking this shot becsuse it was making my bones brittle. I had a IUD, and had to have it removed because I had a allergic reaction to it. Many say my actions where selfish, but I am the type of woman who wants better for my children then what I had, and I feel that if I had another child my children will have less.

NOW BACK TO THE SUBJECT ABOUT BREAST IMPLANTS.

Wifey you know I agree with you on this subject BUT you definitly deserve to be in the corner!!!!!LOL

Now that my tubes are tied he can be in the corner with me.

My doctor did mine because I am not married yet. If I was married my husband would have had to sign a consent.

Women's lib. and all that and we still have to get permission/consent from our husband for a TL.Seems to me like 1 step forward and 2 steps back.

I have beeen resisting chiming in on this one but I just have to put my " two cents" in for what its worth... As I have said before I have ben in a relationship whith my husband for 14 years ( married 8) We have not always agreed on everything and we have had to make some very tough decisions together ( including wether or not to have more children) you see I wanted more and he did not want me to continue to have c-sections and fight postpatum depression. As a sidenote all of our kids were born BEFORE we were married, anyway I think the operative words here have been WE and TOGETHER. I don't know what works for others and I am as independant and free thinking as anyone else but, marriage just does not work that way. I can understand self improvement and saying that it is your body but in a sense it really is not anymore, there is no I and MY in a marriage or even a committed relationship. It was a serious adjustment for us both, but we always make all serious decisions together no matter what. The other person must be ok before either one of us proceeds with whatever it is we want. I know it seems like a big, big sacrafice but that is what marriage is sometimes about. In he end everyone has to do what they feel is good for them but you don't want to damge your relationship just to have what you want.

AMEN GEORGIAGURL!!!

Musikana peeks out from the corner and nods in agreement

Finally what I wanted to hear! I've avoided this post because it seemed to really be getting heated. I so agree with Georgiagurl and Askalot! Marriage is a "we & us" thing & my". If you need a reference go the the Word of God. The word says it plainly that your body no longer belongs to you, it belongs to your husband. I know that these days women don't want to live by this and heaven forbid you mention the word "obey" but this is exactly what we have to do in this thing called marriage. I think so many people take marriage lightly and are not willing to except everything that you vow to do. Reevaulate whether you need to or are ready to enter into marriage because you can't be selfish. I know that I'm saying a bit much but I think it has to be said.

How many of you believe that our God doesn't make mistakes? If you believe that he doesn't then why attempt to alter or mess up what he has created.(your body)

Be blessed!

Actually it is my body. I made this choice because I didnt want to bring another child in this world and not be able to provide for them, I did not want to get pregnant and have and abortion or give my child up for adoption. Although I had my children at a young age, I am now working and in school to give my children a better life. I feel like I made the right decision for the two of us. And apparently he is not that distrot over it because he would have left. When I face God I am going to account for all of the things that I have dont, Not we.

Looking back at your comment Georgiagurl, you stated that you wanted more children, however your fh didnt for whatever reason, then you went the operative words are WE and Togethor, what was the out come to having more children? Did your fh get what he wanted? If wo where is the we in that decision?

OH AND P.S. FOR THE RECORD THIS DECISION WAS MADE BEFORE MARRIAGE!

Wifey to the corner!lol

I don't think she was just referring to you. I think she was saying how she felt in general.

We talked about it and I listened to his reasons for not wanting more kids and he listned to my reasons for wanting more kids and I will tell you wanting to have another baby was not worth having him worried about my health and in the end he told me that if it was really what I wanted then he would not deny me but he at least wanted me to see it from his side first and you know what? I was thinking the exact same thing, that if he really did not want more kids that I would be ok with that. I mentioned it to make a point; we were both willing to make a sacrifice on something that was so important to both of us, and no WE decided that it would be to much for me emotionally and physically to carry a baby and give birth again. As I said everyone has to do what works for them, I just know what has worked for us and kept us happy and together all of this time. We have been through a lot and I know as long as WE put God first and try to apply His word to OUR marriage we will be fine........ I was really just reffering to marriage and decision making in general not to anything anyone had said in particular.

Ok and having another baby for me is not worth my children doing with out.

Housewife I think everyone is speaking in general. It seems that you are speaking as if you are on defensive. This isa forum where we all can express our opinions without being attacked or cause any dissention. If any of my comments hit the wrong button for you, it was clearly not my intention. As I stated earlier, I was speaking in general about the state of marriage today.

[quote="PureBliss"]Housewife I think everyone is speaking in general. It seems that you are speaking as if you are on defensive. This isa forum where we all can express our opinions without being attacked or cause any dissention. If any of my comments hit the wrong button for you, it was clearly not my intention. As I stated earlier, I was speaking in general about the state of marriage today.
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Thanks, PureBliss, that is exactly what I was trying to do ( speak in general) and I think I even said that eveyone has to do what they feel is good for them. I did not mean to offend anyone with anything that I said, that is why I avoided the subject for so long, however I don't think that anyone should avoid expressing an opinon for fear that it will make someboday mad. I am a person that chooses her battles and this is not one that I choose to continue since it is NOT and issue for me.... In the future I will most surely think long and hard before posting any responses again because I don't like feeling like I have to be afriad to voice my thoughts.

Georgiagurl, don't be afraid of posting your opinions on this site because that's what it's for, the last time I checked. I think that if something does not apply to you or you have nothing to comment about then you don't respond. Please don't allow anyone to make you feel this way. We all should be mature enough to accept each others opinions without be offended. If a 1st timer read this subject they would probably have a second thought about joining us so let's get back to being sisterly. Women are known for drama, dissention and mess let's not live up to that stereotype! Embrace each other's differences and Be blessing to each other!

That's what I thought this board was about. Now I am not so sure, anyway thanks for understanding that I did not mean any harm and yes you are right if a 1st timer read this they would be turned off by the negativity.

Georgia, I will come to Georgia (I hope that's where you are) and personally slap you if you STOP posting your thoughts/feelings on this website. :-) That is exactly what it's for. We are a sistahood here and we're supposed to be able to post exactly how we feel. Please don't stop it. Everyone here is different and maybe what you post/say will make someone else view something in a totally different light.

PB&J, girl, I loooooove your post - it's nothing but the truth. I think IN GENERAL a lot of women is so used to being independant that they're not willing to give it up because they're now married. I'm for one was like that, "Oh, hell no. You're not about to tell me what I can or cannot do. I'm my own person and if you can't deal with it, you can bounce." But, once I really found out what marriage was about, I had a decision to make. Do I want to please God or displease Him in my marriage. And without a doubt, I want to please Him and my husband.

There is a party going on in the corner -- too funny!

[quote="SeptBride"]Georgia, I will come to Georgia (I hope that's where you are) and personally slap you if you STOP posting your thoughts/feelings on this website. :-) That is exactly what it's for. We are a sistahood here and we're supposed to be able to post exactly how we feel. Please don't stop it. Everyone here is different and maybe what you post/say will make someone else view something in a totally different light.

PB&J, girl, I loooooove your post - it's nothing but the truth. I think IN GENERAL a lot of women is so used to being independant that they're not willing to give it up because they're now married. I'm for one was like that, "Oh, hell no. You're not about to tell me what I can or cannot do. I'm my own person and if you can't deal with it, you can bounce." But, once I really found out what marriage was about, I had a decision to make. Do I want to please God or displease Him in my marriage. And without a doubt, I want to please Him and my husband.
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Girl you don't have to come to the Atl to get me! I promise I won't stop posting. LOL LOL LOL

Alrighty then! lol

[quote="PureBliss"]Housewife I think everyone is speaking in general. It seems that you are speaking as if you are on defensive. This isa forum where we all can express our opinions without being attacked or cause any dissention. If any of my comments hit the wrong button for you, it was clearly not my intention. As I stated earlier, I was speaking in general about the state of marriage today.
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I am speaking on my behalf. And it anyone is taking it personal, then that is just what it is. I can only speak about what I personally went throw. My opinion is that GOD gave me this body, and I am the only one who accounts for decisions I make. Now I have know problem with consulting my husband and getting his imput, however we might not always agree and that's ok, but a decision has to be made.

I'm going to the corner RIGHT now. PB&J, I already have your seat warm, honey! lol

[quote="NikkiG"]Women's lib. and all that and we still have to get permission/consent from our husband for a TL.Seems to me like 1 step forward and 2 steps back.
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yOU ARE SO RIGHT ON!
We should never NEED permission! That is truly the limit. But you should talk to your partner and equally weigh their opinion. Don't cast their ideas aside. In the end it is YOUR BODY. If there are consequences, be prepared to deal with them. Don't assume that there won't be any if he disagrees.

The man don't even like PADDED BRAS???? Where would we be without the "Push Up"???! He CRAZY! lol

I am African American and I am considering breast implants as well. I have been doing a lot of research. There is a surgeon in NY that transfer your own fat to your breast (if you dont want want a foreign object in your body. I don't know if cost is a factor but this procedure is expensive (about $18000). You can find more information on www.liposculpture.com or just google "dr sydney coleman".

I probably end up getting cohesive gel implants. They aren't available in the US yet but they are available in Canada. The only thing is you would have to wait until next year since Canadian doctors cannot perform on US residents right now.

You could consider going out of the country. Just google "phuket thailand breast implants"...I'm still doing some research on that place though.

Cohesive gel are less likely to develop a capsular contracture and they won't leak.

Being African American, the only disadvantage is probably keloids. But if you don't get keloids, then your breast implants should look like every other race of women that get them.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best.

Thank GOD I am marrying a man who respects me as a woman with opinions, and one who does not believe I have to submit and obey!

Wow!

Thanks for looking out Askalot! I'm headed your way now!

[quote="prettygirl84"]I am African American and I am considering breast implants as well. I have been doing a lot of research. There is a surgeon in NY that transfer your own fat to your breast (if you dont want want a foreign object in your body. [/quote]

Hi. That seems like a good option, however, what if you don't have enough fat? What if you lose weight easily? Wouldn't the fat transferred to the breast also be gone when over all body fat is decreased? Maybe it depends on body type? I lose weight in my upper body first, so that's a bummer. :o(

This board is great because everyone has some great comments. Remember guys, even when someone puts their feelings out, its never personal, and almost always based on that person's experience(s). We will NEVER agree on EVERYTHING people share here, but we always must make sure we lend a non-judgmental ear. Personal feelings about how others decide to live their lives, no matter how contrary to our personal beliefs should not come into play, meaning, just listen.
I would like to add to the comments about independence, marriage and all.
I do agree with the comments made about our body being not our own. In the bible it does say "two will become one". I feel that it means that though we have our own beliefs about what we should do to our bodies, in marriage we are supposed to be one body. For example, as a very independent woman, its hard for me to swallow but I am willing. For example, I waited too long to get a tatoo, so now about to get married, I wanted to get one but FH was like no you don't need one. In his mind, okay he's thinking I don't want my wife to have a tatoo, its unnecessary, but I did pray about it, and in prayer I learned to think of it like this this...that "One body" of marriage is just like being a siamese twin. If you are a siamese twin, and your twin doesn't want a tattoo on it, your're not going to do it and vice versa, because you are not on one accord. If you are not on one accord then you are going in two different directions and until you both agree, then its something you shouldn't do. Thats why communication is important. It also says in Corinthians that wives should submit themselves to their husbands because her body is not her own (this is the same Bible we consider the law) and the next sentence says, the husbands body is also his wife's and not his own. I understand the sentiment of being independent, I swallow that jagged little pill of being "one body" daily, but thats my choice and I beleive that I will be blessed for it. So that's why even as a engaged woman I will not get a tattoo, because my twin doesn't want it. In my study bible (NIV) it also mentions in the footnotes that in the time when the bible was written (New testament) an engaged couple was still recognized as being married, but they just had not consummated that marriage.....so its a lot to consider....Just my two, three, four cents ;)

Musikana scoots over and makes room for Askalot and PB&J, hopes they're bringing snacks and some cds, and wonders to herself if the whole room is being eaten up by the corner...

You are absolutely right BumbleBee. Everyone does not always have to see eye to eye and may not have all the same views. It is ok to disagree at times that's what sisters do. Although sometimes people should be less judgemental (I myself battle with this problem sometimes) NO ONE IS PERFECT AND NO RELATIONSHIP IS PERFECT! Everyone lives the best they can to follow GOD's word. However we all sin or have sinned. And only GOD can judge.

[quote="Musikana"]Musikana scoots over and makes room for Askalot and PB&J, hopes they're bringing snacks and some cds, and wonders to herself if the whole room is being eaten up by the corner...
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Girl, I'm coming, not now, but RIGHT NOW!!!!! LOL

Bee, girl, you put that so well in laymen's terms. It's a hard pill for me to swallow too, but I will follow God's words also. I will definately have to pray EVERY night because Lord knows I'm going to need strength. :-)

[quote="SeptBride"]Musikana scoots over and makes room for Askalot and PB&J, hopes they're bringing snacks and some cds, and wonders to herself if the whole room is being eaten up by the corner...

Girl, I'm coming, not now, but RIGHT NOW!!!!! LOL

Bee, girl, you put that so well in laymen's terms. It's a hard pill for me to swallow too, but I will follow God's words also. I will definately have to pray EVERY night because Lord knows I'm going to need strength. :-)
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Girl that prayer works! It keeps my head and my eyes from rolling when I want to get..."ahem" too ghetto and tell my FH what I really think about this cleaving thing. In our married and engaged couples class, it gets sooooo intense between the men and the women (whether they are married OR engaged), but I enjoy it because number one we're all young-under 32, second, its good to see that even one of the minister's wife (she's 25) and other married women fighting the feeling of wanting to say "oh hell no!" once in a while....I mean, hey, we're all human, but we've got to try! But thats real talk.

To: mycenae1918

Update: I don't know if you still check this thread. Anyway, I went ahead and did Brava for about 10 weeks - that's all I could stand because it is a horrible experience. But, it really paid off. I increased a 1/2 cup and have retained it. I didn't even wear it for the full time every day. I'm no longer considering implants because of the progress and I like what I see in the mirror and how I feel physically. I might do a 2nd cycle if I have the strength and patience. If not, I'm okay now because I'm happy.

*I would have sent you a note instead, but I know there were others who asked about Brava privately and I forgot their s/n's*

MAN, don't know HOW I missed this topic.....very interesting...

Where in the world is mycenae? I havent heard anything from her in a while.

I remember reading this...and laughing...it got heated up there for a while...lol, good read though. informative

I'm so sorry to hear that. If you need to talk, you know your sistas are here for you.

Good luck, Mycenae

[quote="mycenae1918"]Thanks classycounselor. I am going to try to get the Brava system. I have been AWOL b/c my wedding has been called off. But hugs and kisses and a beautiful wedding day to all the ladies on the board. Bye.
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Sorry to hear that the wedding was called off. :o(
I wanted to add that I am on an oral contraceptive/ birth control - which supposedly the women on b.c. have had better results than those who are not. If you need tips once you get Brava, send me a note or email at classycounselor@aol.com.