i know there is a thread about adjusting to inlaws but this is based on my observation that the inlaws are being difficult during this period of wedding planning. is it something that is supposed to happen, because their male family member has stepped up and in someway they feel they are losing him? i mean the gf is loved during the gf stage and always welcome but as soon as rings are exchanged and dates set and plans begun ugliness starts to rear its head that was not there before, or in my case i never really noticed.
y is this? over the years i have heard only a few, very rare stories of inlaws who envelope and love the for lack of a better word right now "interloper" that has attached themselves to their family.
my grandmother, who i thought walked water, despised ALL 5 of her dil. in fact she caused the demise of 2 marriages. i always thought they were all wonderful women expecially with the inside info i had on my uncles and to this day i refer to them as my aunts as most have moved on and remarried. i never felt they were intruders but some more people in our growing fam. maybe i am adopted lol.
so i dont get this once a man takes that natural step of being a man the chosen woman in most not all cases is treated with as much disdain either sublimally or outright as possible. just wanted to put that out there cause i am ready to stand atop a sturdy box and JUMP DOWN on a whole lotta follks. thanks for listening
i know there is a thread about adjusting to inlaws but this is based on my observation that the inlaws are being difficult during this period of wedding planning. is it something that is supposed to happen, because their male family member has stepped up and in someway they feel they are losing him? i mean the gf is loved during the gf stage and always welcome but as soon as rings are exchanged and dates set and plans begun ugliness starts to rear its head that was not there before, or in my case i never really noticed.
y is this? over the years i have heard only a few, very rare stories of inlaws who envelope and love the for lack of a better word right now "interloper" that has attached themselves to their family.
my grandmother, who i thought walked water, despised ALL 5 of her dil. in fact she caused the demise of 2 marriages. i always thought they were all wonderful women expecially with the inside info i had on my uncles and to this day i refer to them as my aunts as most have moved on and remarried. i never felt they were intruders but some more people in our growing fam. maybe i am adopted lol.
so i dont get this once a man takes that natural step of being a man the chosen woman in most not all cases is treated with as much disdain either sublimally or outright as possible. just wanted to put that out there cause i am ready to stand atop a sturdy box and JUMP DOWN on a whole lotta follks. thanks for listening
Hey there Raysbride, you are not alone and unfortunately a lot of people do not embrace their daughters and sons in law. At the time my husand's mom was alive, when husband and I were dating things were fine. When we took our relationship to the next level, his female family members (mother, sister & neice) changed on me. Things became very tense. I truly believe that if his mother were alive today, we would not be married. His sister and I get along much better now and I would attribute that to the Almighty Himself. We have also matured. We are a family now and try to make the most of it. I only wanted them to respect me. I believe we have accomplished that now (thanks be to God). I wish you and your in-laws all the best. Hopefully they will realize that they have gained a daughter. Good luck Raysbride!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
I think it has something to do with them having to share. When my cousin got married his sisters were so mean and hateful towards his wife in the beginning. It was like she had taking him away. I think they will really just have to learn that he or she is not leaving the family but just adding to the family. I think I relayed that right.
Southerngirl.....
Don't EVEN get me started! FH and I have been together for almost 7 years, and you would THINK that it gets easier with time, unfortunatly his siters are @ss backwards and the more 'comfortable' they get being around me the more disrespectful, overbearing, and ignorant they seem to become. I'm at my wits end. I no longer am accepting calls from either one of them until I feel they can be respectful (which may be never). And another thing (while I'm on the soap box)... I'm about sick of them acting like FH is their father or even worse their bank. They are grown @ss women and act sooo dependant on him as if he is supposed to rescue them from every financial jam they get themself into...then turn around and act as if it's his God given duty to provide for them!?! That mess pisses me OFF! I can go on...but i'll spare you all my venting which could go on and on(trust). All I can say is that I can't WAIT until after the wedding when we move out of state, that'll curtail some of the aggravation!
I don't know Raysbride...don't know where it stems from???
Girls,,,as Onyxswan can attest to, since she hears me vent everyday about my fsister in law, but i'm putting the blame where it belongs FH!!!! he has always bailed her out financially and otherwise so even though she is the older 1 she does not take responsibility for her actions. She only wants what she does not have to pay for and makes the same mistakes over and over again. This woman is over 40!! Unfortunatly you have to accept the bad with the good, Before you snap and kill the whole family lol!
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GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME; ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD. WHEN IN DOUBT, PRAY