Relationship

I think females who tend to have a plan and are good at working that plan dominate relationships...or maybe some big aspects of the relationship because men tend to not have a plan....For me, many who SEE us thinks my DH makes all the decisions, but if you ask him, I ALWAYS get what I want....So perception has a lot to do with "domination"....So for me and my DH there is not one person dominating the other, and the fact that our perceptions are about the same (cause I think he gets what he wants too....A LOT!) makes me realize we have a pretty good balance....I don't think a relationship is really a relationship if one is dominating the other one.....

But many women do appear to dominate the relationship simply because the man either prefers it that way (As stubborn as men are...its them who ALLOW it cause they usually are not going to be told what to do, and actually do it....)-this man probably had a mom like that... OR he may just be....dare I say.....weaker or doesn't want to speak up for himself, and lets her run him, and I have seen that too.

I agree on the lines with Bumble-I think woman have a plan and can follow thru better than men. In my marriage, I would not say that I dominate the relationship, but I am the one that holds everything down, he makes the money (we both work) but I pay all the bills etc...when it is something that needs to be done, I am the one making the plans, arrangements or whatever is needed to get it accomplished. I don't think my hubby is intimidated by this at all, only because he knows that I am going to handle the biz and not mess up anything (intentionally anyway) on the other hand, when it is something that he totally wants to take control of, or sometimes when I get tired of being the ONE he does step up so it works for us!

This is something I am still learning though to give up some of the control-because being a single woman for many years, I didn't have a choice but to make all the decisions, so I am slowly but surely trying to give up my crown! :)

[quote="soon2bmsj"]I agree on the lines with Bumble-I think woman have a plan and can follow thru better than men. In my marriage, I would not say that I dominate the relationship, but I am the one that holds everything done, he makes the money (we both work) but I pay all the bills etc...when it is something that needs to be done, I am the one making the plans, arrangements or whatever is needed to get it accomplished. I don't think my hubby is intimidated by this at all, only because he knows that I am going to handle the biz and not mess up anything (intentionally anyway) on the other hand, when it is something that he totally wants to take control of, or sometimes when I get tired of being the ONE he does step up so it works for us!

This is something I am still learning though to give up some of the control-because being a single woman for many years, I didn't have a choice but to make all the decisions, so I am slowly but surely trying to give up my crown! :)
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I agree my sister and well spoken

I grew up without my father when I needed him most: in my teenage years.....as a child I saw the nuturer, and couldn't appreciate him b/c I was a child, but aftermy parent divorce when I was 14, I had no male figure to understand when I starting paying attention to men later on....as a result, I was the opposite, I was looking for a man to fill that hole which is weird because I was not raised to be a wife in traditional terms, but to be a wife to the richest man I could find, so I didn't HAVE to be a wife in traditional terms (ha!). So imagine my surprise when I learnd what the Bible says, and what my DH expected!?!!?!?!...however like soon2bmsj said, I also am the one handling the bill paying, but my DH allocates the money, I too am holding almost everything down, PLUS I make more money than my DH....which he thinks is funny and cute and calls me his sugar mama (sometimes if I am in a mood, I am not-because of the weird way I was raised).....PLUS he basically controlls the money to keep me in from spending too much-WHICH I APPRECIATE....But, After much prayer b4 the wedding-because I resisted this "traditional" role, I told my then FH....fine, I will submit, but don't play....and I had to say it because he was raised to dominate, and sometimes not thinking about it he will try to make me feel bad for asserting myself, but as a woman I have no choice but to speak up.....however like I said I think that because it goes back and forth, we probably are both getting our way (i.e.: SPOILED) from time to time....and he will not hesistate to tell me when he doesn't like something.....Like right now I am completely natural with a medium afro, and of course he flipped out and had some words...but he is okay, and we will be fine....but all this time he wanted me to look a certain way, and at first I thought: Uh! he trying to dominate!....but it IS bumble's job to please her man so I will be braiding it up, and weaving it down in the transition.....So I will still be natural, and my hair will "appear" to be straight for my man.........Whatever it takes right girls? He does the same for me.....which is cute too...but sometimes I do forget:(

[quote="soon2bmsj"]I agree on the lines with Bumble-I think woman have a plan and can follow thru better than men. In my marriage, I would not say that I dominate the relationship, but I am the one that holds everything done, he makes the money (we both work) but I pay all the bills etc...when it is something that needs to be done, I am the one making the plans, arrangements or whatever is needed to get it accomplished. I don't think my hubby is intimidated by this at all, only because he knows that I am going to handle the biz and not mess up anything (intentionally anyway) on the other hand, when it is something that he totally wants to take control of, or sometimes when I get tired of being the ONE he does step up so it works for us!

This is something I am still learning though to give up some of the control-because being a single woman for many years, I didn't have a choice but to make all the decisions, so I am slowly but surely trying to give up my crown! :)
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I couldn't have put it better!

I grew up without a father and in every relationship my mother has ever been in she has been dominate. My FH thinks he is the dominant one and I don't argue with him about it I just smile. He does take care of all the bills and he makes the most but I am also check behind him. Sort of like the President and Congress, I am congress so I check behind him when he is not looking and if things are not right with the finances I will impeach him.

I do not think there is anything wrong with being dominant but I don't think all woman raised without a father will be dominant.

I feel like someone has to be the dominate one. Two dominates won't work ...(my first marriage ..we were both Rams and our horns got hooked a many day!) Although I am the dominate, I do push my DH to make SOME decisions. I mean even down to what do you want to eat? "It doesn't matter, what do you want" ...sometimes that's nerve wrecking as hell!

[quote="Mrs080908"]My FH thinks he is the dominant one and I don't argue with him about it I just smile. He does take care of all the bills and he makes the most but I am also check behind him. Sort of like the President and Congress, I am congress so I check behind him when he is not looking and if things are not right with the finances I will impeach him.
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LOL!!!!!!!!!

Well said Bumble!