Would you cheat?

In the words of Jahiem..."After the drama comes the karma". It may take a while but you always reap what you sow. I wouldn't even waste my time discussing this stupidity with her anymore.

[quote="soon2bmsj"]In the words of Jahiem..."After the drama comes the karma". It may take a while but you always reap what you sow. I wouldn't even waste my time discussing this stupidity with her anymore.

and that is exactly how I am feeling right now! :(
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You are right to be so over this. No condom. Justifying her actions by offhandedly accusing her husband of cheating and saying stuff like her lover isn't the type to cheat when is is CHEATING with her is so typical. I just can't abide by it. Temptation is natural. But why destroy two other lives. And if there are children, imagine how they would feel to find out either parent was unfaithful. You are not cheating on just a spouse you are cheating on your family. Go to counseling or buy the joy of sex and get creative.

I've always thought women fighting the women their man was cheating with is ridiculous but I think if I was his wife I would want to beat her azz too. How disrespectful. If his wife finds out she should put them on blast right in the church by giving a testimony no one would forget.

[quote="pamcrow"] If his wife finds out she should put them on blast right in the church by giving a testimony no one would forget.
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I think I would PAY to see that.

That girl (not woman) is a hot mess but you know what the boy she cheated with ain't no better. I wonder how people get married, cheat and then expect to stay in their marriage like the fact that they cheated was normal or that their spouse deserved it. I can't believe she is so passive about it.

[quote="Rosetta"] If his wife finds out she should put them on blast right in the church by giving a testimony no one would forget.

I think I would PAY to see that.
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me too!

Man this just keeps getting WORSE! Yeah at this point, it's really nothing else to say to her. She made her decision, she ACTS like she's okay with it and it's not bothering her, so it shouldn't bother you anymore. You have your own life and a wedding to plan out. That's a grown woman even if she's not acting like it right now.....SO you don't need to spend anymore brain power on this crap........WOW.....

[quote="pamcrow"]I've always thought women fighting the women their man was cheating with is ridiculous but I think if I was his wife I would want to beat her azz too. How disrespectful. If his wife finds out she should put them on blast right in the church by giving a testimony no one would forget.
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Hammercy!!!!! That would be unforgettable! I can see the church mothers and the deacon board shaking their heads!!! First Lady will let them have it (if she is anything like my former first lady -- lol!!!)

There you go ...

Reason 4: He/she only f876ing his wife/her husband.

[quote="Shy41208"] If his wife finds out she should put them on blast right in the church by giving a testimony no one would forget.

I think I would PAY to see that.

me too!
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We'll sit next to each other and compare notes. LOL

WE can't all fling mud at her though. I think I am personally sensitive because I don't want it to happen to ME! Everyone makes mistakes. She could have avoided this one though, because she asked for advice form SOON which she didn't take. That is what boils my broth.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

omg soon i cant imagine being in your position.How hard is that you poor thing.i feel so bad for you this is toooooooo much for one person to have to bare.good luck and god bless you you are too good a friend to her.

OH-TAY!

So tell your friend that she is not only a cheater but she is nasty....so not only is she doing the husband, but she is doing the wife too.....if you know what I mean........I mean she did it on purpose.....intentionally....for some sex......Ugh!

It is my personal belief that all men cheat and no one can tell me differently. I don't put anything pass a man. That's why I would never be surprised or shocked to learn my DH has cheated. Hurt yes, surprised,no. For me cheating is not necessarily a deal breaker. It depends on many things. Things such as: Has it happened before? Who was it with? How long has it been going on? How careful or disrespectful was he about it all? Do I feel as though he has any real feelings for the person or were they just f#@%ing? How were things in our relationship at the time? For me, it really does all depend.

As far as your statement that you need to be careful and watch your man, I only agree with that to a certain extent. You can't be so 'careful to watch' that it could ever be viewed as sign of insecurity. Insecurity is never attractive and men love a confident woman. I'm not saying be so confident that you walk around with blinders on but overrall I think a woman needs to be able to trust her man. Otherwise she'll drive herself crazy.

What a woman does need to be careful about is KNOWING her man and staying up on her game. She needs to KNOW her man so that when something that was once two centimeters left is shifting two centimeters right, she can react in time. Even more importantly, your man needs to KNOW you. Not saying he needs to know your every move but he does need to know you so well that he knows without any shadow of doubt that there will be some repercussions to his actions even if he isn't sure to what extent. Never let him get so comfortable to think you'll never leave him or that no one else will ever want you. Always keep a trump card (you must know what your trump card is) and don't be afraid to play it. Remember to always take care of home so that he is ALWAYS aware of what he stands to lose. The greater the investment, the greater the risk. And I mean that on all counts.

There's an old song by Betty Wright called "The Clean Up Woman". Every woman needs to listen to this from time to time. Now that's not to say that if you take care of home a man won't cheat on you, but you can't make it to easy for him to want to cheat.

I have a friend who is cheating with a married man,right now. It went on before they were married and now after has been going on three years. The wife seems to not know and went she kind of suspected he lied and cleared it up. My friend and her former co-worker still see each other and the wife is clueless. I can only pray this never happens to me!

I think some woman allow the man to cheat because they are older and insecure that they can NOT find another man. You may know the man and have a child or two but he could easily go and have sex with. another woman. Why bother getting married if you want to "do lunch" with someone else.

Pam I with you ALL THE WAY. It just depends on everything you said, I have nothing to add or take away. (here's that dawg pound!)

I tell my DH you are a man before you are Tony ...so don't think otherwise ...he tries to butter that with .."naw I'm a husband first blah blah blah" ..who's listening? not me. I trust him yes, would he cheat ..I wouldn't put it pass him.

BTW ..Stillhere ...are congrats in order, are you planning a wedding, someone you know? It seems like you're in the new the boards, then again it doesn't ..don't wanna assume --what's good?

Congrats on your Wedding "stillhere" Were you here before? Is that what "Stillhere" means? Are you getting closer to your wedding date after taking a little vibride hiatus? Nevertheless, welcome back.

I am "still here" because God keeps me still here. After the trials and tribulations of the last few years. One being my ex fiance hada baby with another woman and I had a miscarriage. And those are just two major things. I am getting married (to another man that has been a lifetime friend)in about ayear and a half we are trying to get the fiances together.

[quote="Stillhere"]I know there are some woman in here cheating or being cheated on right now and are in denial! Cheating goes both ways! What I am saying is everyone needs to be careful and watch their husbands.

Would anyone in here take their husaband back if he cheated on them?
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Like others I can't say if my husband cheated on me I would or would not take him back. I mean just from my personality and how I am I would LOVE to say OH NO HE'S OUT THE DOOR!!! But now that I'm actually married, with time, money, emotions etc, etc invested, I just don't know. I can't even imagine if there were kids involved in there somewhere.

I also don't want to say "all men cheat", because I don't think that's fair. AGAIN this is just my opinion. Do alot of men cheat...MOST DEFINITELY...do alot of WOMEN cheat...YUP! I also think there are many women that cheat for the same reasons that men cheat, just becuase they want to get some.

Do I think my husband "could" cheat on me, OF COURSE, and just as easily I could cheat on him. This is a free country, anybody COULD do anything, you just have to suffer the consquences of your actions. BUT I CHOOSE to believe that he would not cheat on me. That's what trust is and until he does something to break that trust I will say to anybody NOPE I don't think my husband "would". And you best believe if something is funky we as women we always find out, we can't help it, it's just instinct. Now what you choose to do with that knowledge is totally up to you.

[quote="soon2bmsj"]I agree with Pam & Turiya 100%!

I believe that EVERY man and woman is capable of cheating! I think the reasons will be different because women do it out of emotions and/or revenge and men do most of the time out of pure lust...now sometimes the lust may develop into something after the fact, but initially the man is looking for sex and as women we look for love (or those loving feelings)

Would I leave my husband if he cheated??? most women will say yeah, blah blah blah, but I agree with Pam I can't say yes I would without a doubt---of course i would be angry, hurt and everything in between, but before ending my marriage I would really have to pray on the situation. My problem is forgiviness so I think that is what would make it hard for me--I have never been the one to say-"I forgive but I can't forget" because if I can do one, I should be able to do the other and I haven't mastered that task yet! :) but I agree with Pam my husband also knows that I am not a "woe it's me" type of woman..so he knows if he f's up-he will have some hell to pay-and not because I think I'm bigger and badder, but because he knows what I bring to him as a woman, as his wife, how I take care of his household, how I stay up on my game and handle my business...

On the other hand would I ever cheat on hin??? again most women will say "NO" I would never cheat, but I am going to keep it real---IF if did cheat, trust me, it would be with someone that I thought could bring more to me than my husband and I am not talking about just financially or sexually-it would have to be the WHOLE package...why should I tear down my playground for 1 little swing?!?!?!?
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I so agree with this and this is the difference between the boys and the girls i will never sit and say what i know my dh wont do but women or should i say these lil girls are off the hook and you never CAN TELL what both would do cheating is not just sleeping around it has many forms and i know that two wrongs dont make a right but it does make a Damn good understanding and if i would ever cheat i wouldnt go from sugar to sh*t

PEBBLES35 you said that girl!

I watch that "Cheaters" show from time to time and just when i think I cannot be surprised I am often amazed! Wives cheating on their husbands with other women, with men who sleep with other women, and men who sleep with other men....Girl even the Little People- (PC word for dwarf) are on their cheating on each other, and being off the chain with it!

I look at these women who come in my office at WIC: You got women who are really 15 looking like she older than me, women who are 26 and look 36, and I have women who are pregnant by men older than my husband, and I just feel like dag! What the world coming to?

Check me out:

I would be too scared to cheat at this point in time (and I'm not holier than thou, cause I used to do my think-bumble was a bad girl), BUT when you sleep with one person, its like you slept with 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 people all at once!

Even these chicks man, they still on maury for the 3rd, 4th time looking for their baby daddy.....DAG! You only got a short window to GET pregnant in the first place....so you slept with ALL DEM DUDES within a week! And the dudes be looking like a deer with headlights! JUST a mess!

[quote="Bumblebeekee"]I watch that "Cheaters" show from time to time and just when i think I cannot be surprised I am often amazed ...Girl even the Little People- (PC word for dwarf) are on their cheating on each other, and being off the chain with it!

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Girl I saw this episode of Cheaters and LMAO!! I was wondering if it was staged because when the one little person was about to lay on couch with the female little person he couldn't get his leg up high enough to climb on the couch with her and the camera suddenly panned left or something. I was like this can't be real, and then to make matters worse, the confrontation happened at a carnival. I was like WOW!!. But did you see sista girl from that same episode pull a knife or scissors from glove compartment and try to cut homeboys jewels when she caught him. I was no good after that. I can't wait to buy best of Cheaters on dvd cause I know that episode has to be on there.

LOL!!!!!

Wow!!!!! All I have to say, I'm speechless!

soon, you had better be careful to not get too involved....If my husband knew he would tell me straight up to stop talking to that person...At least thats what I think...He tends to have a whatever attitude about somethings and believe that people can hang themselves for all he cares, but when it comes to people fooling around I think thats where he draws the line.....Anyhoo, just be careful....

OMG soon please be carefulif your dh finds out who it is he just might tell. how do you look someone partner in the face after you've found out the other has been slapping bellies with another,and by your dh being a reformed playa himself im sure he has learned alot.
EXPERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER AND IF YOU PLAY WITH FIRE LONG ENOUGH EVENTUALLY YOU GET BURNED.

This is so unfortunate! She is definetly playing with fire.

all I can say MrsJ is that your friend is N-A-S-T-Y!!!!.

She'd already had it in her mind to cheat and if it weren't with this guy, it would've been with another, trust me. The time she took to plan her nastiness with the other man, she could've taken the time to work on her own marriage. She made a conscious choice not to do so. I can't understand some people. Oh well...

You might need to just tell her to stop telling you about it. Tell her you don't want to hear about it! Get yourself out of the middle here. Also if your husband figures it out and tell, then OH WELL....she shouldn't be doing this. It's just wrong, friend or no friend. What's done in the dark ALWAYS comes to light....ALWAYS...sooner or later. And if this all blows itself up in her face YOU BETTA NOT FEEL EVEN A LITTLE BIT GUILTY....she did this to herself, her marriage and her family, not you.

This is a scandal. They need a condom! HPV causes cervical cancer! Seriously. I couldn't imagine sleeping with more than one man. I just couldn't but everyone is different. I know a lot of women who cheat because they want good sex. I think its a little sad. I don't like cheaters. The lying is the worst. I never even look in my man's phone or anything and he never looks in mine. Is she still seeing him?

TO THE CORNER MYCENAE This one post you should have left alone. I know ladies im going to the corner too!

LOL Pebbles, Bad girl. Now stay in the corner.

LMAO- busy a%! corner!!But for real though...we need an update Soon!!

I spoke the truth. HPV is an STD and it causes cancer. Yuck! Yuck!

[quote="PEBBLES35"]TO THE CORNER MYCENAE This one post you should have left alone. I know ladies im going to the corner too!
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Girl, we haven't had anyone go to the corner in months -- too funny!!!! I'm glad you know you should be going to the corner too! LOL!!!!

[quote="dreamgurl"]LMAO- busy a%! corner!!But for real though...we need an update Soon!!
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OH no we don't !! Remember Soon was supposed to be removing herself from this drama. Nothing else to tell, right Soon?

Pebbles you can come out the corner now but Mycenae you got's to stay a little longer..LOL. And Dreamgurl if you don't quit it, you'll be there in a minute.

More frequently now you say? What happens when she pops up pregnant? Tell her hustband that it's his? He knows he hasn't been doing the deed. I guess she would have to have an abortion. Or two or three. Well, her husband might be dipping his wick elsewhere too. Why did they get married in the first place? What she really should have done was find out if her husband has erectile dysfunction. You know how men like to keep those things to themselves.