Hey girls! Already married? Post your post-wedding advice here.
There are always things we could have done different, or maybe there was something you did that helped your wedding go smooth that will help others!
I will start:
1. Chill out! After watching those wedding shows, there are going to be enough people freaking out over trifles FOR you, so why bother? Plus there is nothing you can do about it on the day of the event so like I said, why bother?
The uninvited will still try to come, the invited will still forget to come, you will still get gifts you did not register for,and you will also get some that someone else got already making you have two cutting boards, two sets of silverwear, but it doesn't matter. SOmeone will send you something you didn't order, and a family member will be pissed because you and your FH/now husband decided to do something and that family member can't deal with it! But all you can say is....I'm sorry, please see my coordinator, and she will help you as best as possible. If not, you see the coordinator and tell her to accommodate that person as best as possible. And move on. That way, 99% of your energy will go towards having fun and enjoying your day!
2. Don't be a meany! Talk nice to people, and the coordinator and the vendors, because yes, you are paying them but they are working to please you and give you a great product, so let them do their job as they are the experts, as long as they produce what you agreed on. Keep the attitudes minimum. It IS YOU and you new Husbands' day, but ladies should be gracious, as well as beautiful!
3. And finally, you and your coordinator should be on ONE ACCORD.
Don't let guests gang up on the coordinator because she will not be able to do her job. I saw this happen at a friends' wedding. So I decided that if someone comes to me complaining about my coordinator, I tell them that SHE is in charge and that they need to do what she says. That way she can round everyone up and everyone will follow directions-and there will be NO delays! (Think about it-if they have a problem with your coordinator its really a problem they have with you because the coordinator is just doing what YOU asked them to do!)
4. You need to have 1 CHEIF, not 10! You are not the cheif because you are participating in the wedding too, you can't work onthe wedding AND be IN the thing too!
To do #3 successfully, YOU as a bride will first have to have the full confidence of your coordinator. Me and my coordinator were really like best friends in this whole event. She was a little pushy with my guests, but that was because they wanted mingle and fool around instead of taking the pictures on the photo list. Also while my photographer was taking group pictures of us, other people were flashing their cameras which was distracting the photographer so she had to ask them to wait for him to finish first-which they were mad about a little...but ultimately it was for the best. And the end product is all you'll have left!
Hey girls! Already married? Post your post-wedding advice here.
There are always things we could have done different, or maybe there was something you did that helped your wedding go smooth that will help others!
I will start:
1. Chill out! After watching those wedding shows, there are going to be enough people freaking out over trifles FOR you, so why bother? Plus there is nothing you can do about it on the day of the event so like I said, why bother?
The uninvited will still try to come, the invited will still forget to come, you will still get gifts you did not register for,and you will also get some that someone else got already making you have two cutting boards, two sets of silverwear, but it doesn't matter. SOmeone will send you something you didn't order, and a family member will be pissed because you and your FH/now husband decided to do something and that family member can't deal with it! But all you can say is....I'm sorry, please see my coordinator, and she will help you as best as possible. If not, you see the coordinator and tell her to accommodate that person as best as possible. And move on. That way, 99% of your energy will go towards having fun and enjoying your day!
2. Don't be a meany! Talk nice to people, and the coordinator and the vendors, because yes, you are paying them but they are working to please you and give you a great product, so let them do their job as they are the experts, as long as they produce what you agreed on. Keep the attitudes minimum. It IS YOU and you new Husbands' day, but ladies should be gracious, as well as beautiful!
3. And finally, you and your coordinator should be on ONE ACCORD.
Don't let guests gang up on the coordinator because she will not be able to do her job. I saw this happen at a friends' wedding. So I decided that if someone comes to me complaining about my coordinator, I tell them that SHE is in charge and that they need to do what she says. That way she can round everyone up and everyone will follow directions-and there will be NO delays! (Think about it-if they have a problem with your coordinator its really a problem they have with you because the coordinator is just doing what YOU asked them to do!)
4. You need to have 1 CHEIF, not 10! You are not the cheif because you are participating in the wedding too, you can't work onthe wedding AND be IN the thing too!
To do #3 successfully, YOU as a bride will first have to have the full confidence of your coordinator. Me and my coordinator were really like best friends in this whole event. She was a little pushy with my guests, but that was because they wanted mingle and fool around instead of taking the pictures on the photo list. Also while my photographer was taking group pictures of us, other people were flashing their cameras which was distracting the photographer so she had to ask them to wait for him to finish first-which they were mad about a little...but ultimately it was for the best. And the end product is all you'll have left!
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
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Excellent advice Bumble.
1. I would say, enjoy this time during the planning stage. Your wedding day is important, but building a life together and having a successful marriage is the most important thing.
2. My husband and I are the best of friends. We were before we got married and we are now. For me as time got closer and closer to the wedding, things became tense between my husband and I. After talking to other married couples some of them experienced the same tension. Remember to keep a cool head. Pray and try not react to every little thing because planning a wedding can be very stressful. It will all work out. Just remember to trust the Almighty and everything will work out fine.
3. Remember it is your wedding day. Do what makes you happy. When it is all said and done the only people you have to please is yourself and your FH.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Great avice, Ladies.
Born Blessed!
Thanks for the advice.
Thanks ladies!! That's some comforting advice & words of wisdom.
"I's married now" - "The Color Purple"
because of a couple of posts on the board, I decided to give advice a little beyond the wedding day ( being and old married woman myself LOL)
Always have faith in GOD and each other.
Always cling to each other in bad times and good.
Always tell the other how you are feeling and believe that even if at that moment the other can't see it your way that GOD will intervene and all will be well.
Check out our wedding photos. www.collages.net Username: Laney
Password:3431
Georgiagurl that is the best piece of advice!!! Thanks for sharing. True pearls of wisdom.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Yes it is!!!! And it's so true. \\
I looooooooove listening to older married couples too! One person told me a while ago. "Fight, fight and fight!!!! Don't give up! Don't listen to your girlfriends, especially the ones that ain't got nobody. There will be HARD times, but you can make it through them if you really love each other and want each other."
She told me some stories that she went through and my mouth just opened. They've been married for 41 years and she said wouldn't trade him for anything. She said their bond is even stronger BECAUSE they went through so much.
This is exactly what I was trying to say... I don't mean to preach but you will find out that it is SO important to have faith no matter what, see marriage is a leap of faith ( if you plan to do it right) and no matter what GOD NEVER FAILS!!! and all will be well even if it does not seem that way. My husband and I have had some bad times and some good times but when things are rough between us I always ask myself 1 questions" Is this bigger than us" meaning our marriage our friendship our family. As long as the answer is "No' then it will be ok. I think a lot of us get caught up celebrating the wedding, and we forget what's really happening: two people are joining thier lives and trying to live as one. Y'all know what? That is hard, and it takes work. So be encouraged, and know that everything will work out the away it is supposed to.
Check out our wedding photos. www.collages.net Username: Laney
Password:3431
Good advice. How long have you been married?
We have been married 10 years but we have been together since I was 16( I will be 31 in June)we have a 13 yo a 12 yo and an 8 yo ( all boys) and we have been through so much but I would not change any of it!
Check out our wedding photos. www.collages.net Username: Laney
Password:3431
Very encouraging. Thanks Georgiagurl. It does my heart good to hear about our families and how we endure!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
*BUMP*
Good advice for us STBs! Feel free to add to this topic "older" and "newbie" Mrs ViBrides!
Bump!
I have a little advice...
Stand your ground! Do not allow meddling in-laws to run your marriage.
Born Blessed!
This is my two cents. As far as the wedding goes, if you are truly happy about marrying the man of your dreams, when your wedding day comes, you will care less about who is wearing what, what color it is or how it fits, who doesn't like the food, who didn't show up or who parked in the wrong space. You will be too busy laughing, kissing your dh, hugging your mom, catching up with old friends, kissing your dh some more, laughing some more, being photographed by the "paparazzi", and getting more kisses from your dh. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Something will go wrong (that's a whole nother subject), but that's what's gonna make your day perfect. It will be perfect in spite of and because of what went wrong.
Most importantly, at the end of your wedding/reception, when you go home (or wherever) and take off the dress, makeup, tiara and jewelry and get ready to lay down beside your husband, look at him and see who you will be spending the rest of your life with. Then, thank GOD for sending him to you, to be your friend, your lover, your provider, your forever.
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Great words of wisdom Sweet!
Ditto sweetnlow. Everything happens so fast and many of the things you stressed over while planning WILL go unnoticed or will be noticed, but soon forgotten. Take time to enjoy the moment, soaking it all in for the love you feel at that very moment will be the memory you will need to draw from in the coming months & years.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
sweetnlow girl you hit it right on the head.....I finally allowed myself to watch the Bridezilla show and it was as bad as i thought! There was one couple where the bride was 46 and the groom 36 and her 21-yearold daughter and sisters hated this guy...they frustrated him so much that he left her at the alter! I mean, the wedding would have been beautiful too...then he calls her, explains to her his frustration (which she had already knew and was so mad at her daughter and sisters who were crying that it may have been her fault he didn't come) and they eloped in Vegas the very next morning!
It was sad to see such a beautiful ceremony go to waste...but in the end the two of them seemed very happy.....I felt bad for the mother because it was clear she raised a rotten daughter....but it was also clear the groom loved her, but got desperate, and I couldn't fault him for his actions so much.....They have a long road ahead of them....and the daughter found out, and was back to spitting daggers again.....But the newest statements made on this post me think of this episode, and realize how important love is....
So okay....what can I add 9 months into this marriage....
1)Your husband understands your frustrations better than you think!
I had a "moment" on our way to work this morning-after being overwhelmed from a publication I am writing with a university professor...and after months of delays and lack of motivation to finish i bawled in the car on the way to work and my husband quickly came to my resuce with words of encouragement and ways to try and motivate myself....and I just didn't think he would understand things when it comes to writing pubications....but I feel so much better.....
2) we got into a big fight at the FAMU classic last month, and it took over a week for me to forgive him for lashing out at me at the hotel-but I did have to let him know that I am "here" but just too upset to have him be intimate with me....so his nature is to go into isolation when I get like that, but letting him know "its just one of those days" plus I was sad and disappointed allowed him not to go into complete isolation also....
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
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[quote="sweetnlow74"]Something will go wrong (that's a whole nother subject), but that's what's gonna make your day perfect. It will be perfect in spite of and because of what went wrong.
Most importantly, at the end of your wedding/reception, when you go home (or wherever) and take off the dress, makeup, tiara and jewelry and get ready to lay down beside your husband, look at him and see who you will be spending the rest of your life with. Then, thank GOD for sending him to you, to be your friend, your lover, your provider, your forever.
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Well said Sweetnlow!!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
I saw that episode of bridezilla, now that was a mess!
But you are right bumblebeekee, if you watch all of those wedding shows before your wedding, they will make you crazy or have you end up on medication or both, and for what? They are just trying to say they are better than you, which they most certainly are not, or make you go into debt over one day. The marriage is what counts the most, not the ceremony.
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[quote="sweetnlow74"]I saw that episode of bridezilla, now that was a mess!
But you are right bumblebeekee, if you watch all of those wedding shows before your wedding, they will make you crazy or have you end up on medication or both, and for what? They are just trying to say they are better than you, which they most certainly are not, or make you go into debt over one day. The marriage is what counts the most, not the ceremony.
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Amen girl.....A-MEN!
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
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[quote="sweetnlow74"]This is my two cents. As far as the wedding goes, if you are truly happy about marrying the man of your dreams, when your wedding day comes, you will care less about who is wearing what, what color it is or how it fits, who doesn't like the food, who didn't show up or who parked in the wrong space. You will be too busy laughing, kissing your dh, hugging your mom, catching up with old friends, kissing your dh some more, laughing some more, being photographed by the "paparazzi", and getting more kisses from your dh. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Well said, Sweetnlow!
Something will go wrong (that's a whole nother subject), but that's what's gonna make your day perfect. It will be perfect in spite of and because of what went wrong.
Most importantly, at the end of your wedding/reception, when you go home (or wherever) and take off the dress, makeup, tiara and jewelry and get ready to lay down beside your husband, look at him and see who you will be spending the rest of your life with. Then, thank GOD for sending him to you, to be your friend, your lover, your provider, your forever.
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Born Blessed!
DH told me that my MIL gave him some advice. MIL told DH "Don't let her become a lazy wife." WTH??? I was offended when he told me and I asked him "What did she mean by that?". He never answered the question, he just told me not to worry about it.
I never thought of myself as a lazy woman, period! I've always been a hard-working woman and when I'm not on the road, I'll cook and clean. What are you thoughts about this comment? I'm back on the road now. I don't want to call her and ask her, I'd rather talk to her in person about this.
Born Blessed!
Plat I don't know what type of person your MIL is but if I had a son who got married and I said that, I would mean that he shouldn't let you change from being a hardworker. Alot of women think once they get married, they won't have to work anymore or do any of the things it took to get the man in the first place. If that's how she truly meant it (you'll never know unless you ask her) then I wouldn't let the comment upset me.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
[quote="platinumstyle"]DH told me that my MIL gave him some advice. MIL told DH "Don't let her become a lazy wife." WTH??? I was offended when he told me and I asked him "What did she mean by that?". He never answered the question, he just told me not to worry about it.
I never thought of myself as a lazy woman, period! I've always been a hard-working woman and when I'm not on the road, I'll cook and clean. What are you thoughts about this comment? I'm back on the road now. I don't want to call her and ask her, I'd rather talk to her in person about this.
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Let it go sweetie! perhaps she is jealous about the wedding...you know what you are so that's all that matters...and obviously DH knows what you are or you wouldn't be his wife! :) I don't think this is worth the drama
Thank you, Pam. For some reason, I still think the statement was made to insult me. I don't hold any grudges anymore but I've dealt with a lot of drama with the outlaws, excuse me, in-laws.
Born Blessed!
lol platinum. yea, i detect some saltiness in her statement, but what goes on between you and your husband is your business and none of the outlaws!
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I would let it roll off my back Plat! Don't even go there with her -- you are a newly married woman. Nothing else should matter.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Thank you, Ladies. You're right, I'm going to let this ride. I just pray that God will continue to give me strength and wisdom to deal with issues like this...
Born Blessed!