I feel like I am under so much pressure. My FH is no help at all with wedding planning. Every time I ask him if he likes something, he says "It don't matter, pick either one", then when I pick something, he's like "I don't like that one". It is pissing me off. I asked him to help me put the stamps on the invitations, and he said "not tonight, I'm tired". Well dammit, so am I, but it has to get done. Our wedding is not until August so I am not sending the invitations out yet, but there is so much I have to do between now and then, I like to see my "things to do" list get smaller. The more I get out of the way, the better I feel.
He doesn't understand that. He just wants to put everything off until the last minute, then we'll have to run around like chickens with our heads cut off making sure everything is taken care of. Let me re-phrase that, I'LL be running around like a chicken with MY head cut off.
I know guys are more of the "tell me when and where to be" type, but it's driving me nuts. How can I make him understand that things need to be done and decisions have to be made NOW, not in July when the wedding is in August!!
Sorry for the long post, but I really needed to vent.
I feel like I am under so much pressure. My FH is no help at all with wedding planning. Every time I ask him if he likes something, he says "It don't matter, pick either one", then when I pick something, he's like "I don't like that one". It is pissing me off. I asked him to help me put the stamps on the invitations, and he said "not tonight, I'm tired". Well dammit, so am I, but it has to get done. Our wedding is not until August so I am not sending the invitations out yet, but there is so much I have to do between now and then, I like to see my "things to do" list get smaller. The more I get out of the way, the better I feel.
He doesn't understand that. He just wants to put everything off until the last minute, then we'll have to run around like chickens with our heads cut off making sure everything is taken care of. Let me re-phrase that, I'LL be running around like a chicken with MY head cut off.
I know guys are more of the "tell me when and where to be" type, but it's driving me nuts. How can I make him understand that things need to be done and decisions have to be made NOW, not in July when the wedding is in August!!
Sorry for the long post, but I really needed to vent.
*If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
Hi Bride2be805, gurl, men are just that way for some reason. My FH has gotten more involved, but he has his moments as well. One minute he is helpful, then the other he seems to be nervous. Is it possible for you to enlist the help of a girlfriend, or family member? This wedding planning stuff can be a bit overwhelming. My wedding is not until November and I am feeling it! Perhaps you can give him a To-Do List and let him do it at his leisure. That is what works for me and my FH. In any event I wish you the best.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
[quote="Rosetta"]I guess now you know why traditionally men are not a part of the wedding planning! Guys are guys. They usually will be glad to simply show up and have all the descisions concerning the wedding made for them. Take a deep breath and find someone else to discuss these things with, i.e. your maid of honor. Afterall that is her role in all this. If you can;t talk to her end on end about your wedding, tell US at vibride.com! We just love to hear all about it. Smile.[/quote]
This is Rosey's reponse to another issue basically dealing with this same topic. It was posted by DaughterRhonda on 5/26/05 and the name of it is "Fiance's behavior, is it common"...go read it, it could help you with this one.
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
Charly you are on the ball girl!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
B2B, I really understand how you are feeling. Surprising FH is doing A LOT better than what he was. One day I told him I'm not doing anything else pertaining to this wedding until you act like you're getting married too. (I was really pissed by then) By the grace of God (He's the only one that helped me with him) he came around. (Not suggesting that you do this) He's nothing like how I am with the planning but he puts his 2 cents in.
I agree with the other brides, try to get your MOH or friend/family to help you with some of your things. You can talk until your turquoise in the face, but until he wants to help, he will not meet your standards with planning. We (women) do about 95-99.99999% of the planning and the rest is the groom. lol
Well said Askalot!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
My grandmother also told me that the only thing that the groom needs to do is wait for his bride to meet him at the altar looking good and wait say I Do. My husband didn
Happily, what kind of wedding did you have for the first wedding?
B2B All of the ladies are right. Get your bridal party moving. Their job is supposed to be a little bit more than just standing beside you looking fierce the day of the wedding. As for your FH if you really want his opinion suggests things that you KNOW he would hate or would not want in the wedding. For example sugesst incorporating a color that he really dislikes etc.
Coppertone
On 5/27/06. Two families became ONE
I agree solicit help or delegate duties for your MOH and/or matron and the BM. They have major responsibilities in helping you and FH with things pertaining to the wedding.
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It was just a small church ceremony, with about mostly my family, and we had the reception at my parent
B2B,I feel you!My FH was the same way until he realized how frustrating this is.He has gotten more involved with the planning. However,sometimes I think our FHs seem to think that this is an easy task and I beautiful wedding doesn't take much planning.Keep your head up and like the other sistas said,ask friends,family,and the wedding party for help if he doesn't change.
Born Blessed!
My fh is no help at all. I have been waiting for him to give me the list of songs he want played at the reception so I can give it to the dj and he keeps telling me he has it covered. I asked him for the names of the people he wants to invite to the wedding and he keeps telling me he will have all of this handled this week. I may be in jail July 20 instead of getting married.
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I feel you guys on this one.Initially FH hardly helped.He told me that all he had to do was turn up.Well I let him know that that was not the case.I made most of the initial decisions,FH told me I could decide.I even chose what the groomsmen/escorts would wear.We decided on the colours.When I collected the suits he said that he wouldn't have chosen that style,well I told him that that was alright because he didn't have to wear them anyway.I had to hound him to go get his suit.He was of the belief that he only had to go choose one try it on and bring it home.It took us a whole day to find his suit.Now he is more helpful.But I am waiting for him to copy the music to the CD's.I will give him one more week before I take it upon myself to call his dj friend to give him some help.
Ladies I understand your pain however this cld be worse.My FH is soooo full of ideas He is about to make me lose my mind. I wanted silver bottle stoppers for favors,he vetoed the idea. I wanted different dresses for the flower girls, he told me since I had a wedding b4 and originally wanted to go to the islands this time around, this was his wedding and it will be his way!! Be careful what you wish for. This man even wanted to pick my gown!!!!! I told him a line had to be drawn somewhere. Enough is enough.
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GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME; ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD. WHEN IN DOUBT, PRAY
I am glad my man does not care cuz his ideas suck. I pretend that I will use one of his ideas and then I will just use my own and say it was a mix-up!
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You ladies are too funny!
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