I am so excited!!!!!!!! I have been planning this wedding for two years and the time has come for us to become official. I have had butterflies during this whole process. My daughters said dang you act like yall just meet and that's exactly how I feel. I have been trying to upload pictures, but I am having a hard time. I greatly appreciate if someone could help me with this Please I bascially have everything taken care of. I purchased my dress from david's bridal (style# 9h9274). I now consider myself the QUEEN of EBAY. I ordered everything from them. I saved a lot of money ordering bubbles, favor boxes, a second dress, a binding machine to make my programs, our cake topper and more. I also ordered napkins and matches from weddingchannel.com I ordered my shoes from cutestgirl.com I think if it hadn't been for my vb sistahs, I wouldn't have known where to begin, but as soon as I learn how to post pictures, I will show everyone my diy projects. ok ladies , I have to leave until later, BOSS man is walking around
Ok Atownswifey, to post is really simple. If the pictures are saved on your pc, all you have to do is go to www.tinypic.com and click "browse", then go to the part of your pc where the pictures are saved. Select the picture you want by double-clicking on it. It will take you back to tinypic. Then click "upload Now" at the bottom and select the top choice HTML for website. Copy the link and post it to your vibride message and hit "PostReply" when you're done. It shoud post. Good luck to you. I can't wait to hear and see everything you've done!!! When is the big day!!!
Well ladies, it's been a minute since I was on my blog, but a few things have happened.
Well since the beginning of this year we have been going through. Both of my girls, ages 15 and 16, ran away from home in january. I didn't know where they were for two weeks, but I eventually found out that they ran away to their dad's house. I did not communicate with this man for fifteen years. After we had that last baby, I saw the light and moved around. His mom was a big help. It seemed as though his mom and I had those babies because she was always there and always helped me, so I dealt with him through her. I found out that he told them to run down the street and he would pick them up. I was at work and my fiance called me and asked me where are the girls so I said up stairs sleep and he said no they are not here they,are gone. So we started calling their cell phones, but they didn't answer. So I called their dad's mom and asked her to call them. That woman called me back and said the girls have decided to live with their dad and that she didn't want to be in the middle of it. I told her that she has been in the middle of it for 16 years and now for something important,she wants to back out now?!!!!!!....Ladies to make a long story short, my 16 year called my mom april 15th and told her she was 3 months pregnant. My mama had a slight heartache and my blood pressure was up so high, I had to change my diet and start taking medication for it. So we decided to put the wedding off until june 28th this year. I was depressed and disappointed to the point where I had stopped everything pertaining to the wedding. I just really felt betrayed by my girls granny and I didn't even think of chasing him for child support because he was a dead beat. I don't even know where this man lives because I was serious about not being bothered with him. He did not know where we lived until he followed my girls home one day after he dropped them off at the dart train station.....Sorry ladies, I had to vent about this. I had some smart girls that didn't get in trouble, but once they started being around that daddy of theirs, they started changing
Oh my God sister, I will keep your family in my prayers. I went to the same thing with my ex-husband and my children years ago. After raising my children alone for nearly 15 years, this man decided to show up and blow smoke up their butts. They all bought it hook, line and sinker. When they decided that they'd live with their father, I let them and I told them that they had but one chance of coming back. If they come to their senses before 6 months, they're more than welcome to return home, but after that 6th month, they're on their own. Oh my God, the names my ex husband called me, I couldn't even begin to repeat them. Needless to say that my daughter (the eldest) returned home in less than a week, and the boys decided that they'll stay. 6th months passed and not a word from them voluntarily, but I would call their cells and talk to them briefly to find out how they were and all that. In the meantime, my daughter and I have really worked on our relationship and have gotten to be really close to the point that there's nothing, I mean nothing that she won't tell me. On the anniversary that would make this a year, I turned of the boys' cell phone. I would've done that sooner, but Sprint wanted to charge me $150 early disconnection fee per phone (ridiculous). The boys called as soon as their phones were off wanting to know why. I told them that since you live with your father, let him be the one to pay for everything you need and hung up. It was the hardest thing for me to do. I mean these are my babies, but I wanted them to learn a tough lesson. Something went incredibly wrong with them and their father and they called to tell me that they were coming home. I was like "I don't think so". They're like, well, we're outside the door, please open up. I told them that I was very clear, you would've been welcome 8 months ago, but as of now, you've been away for a total of 14 months, you're no longer welcome in my home and I hung up the phone and called my sister. I arranged for them to live with my sister, but they don't know any of this and within 10 minutes, my sister came and got them. Now, you won't find a more devoted children than mine. They all call me every single day, more than 6 times a day, at times. They let me know when they live for school, when they return, how things went in school and everything. They've since apologized for their behavior and I forgave, but in all honesty, things just haven't been the same.
So, Please believe me when I say that this to shall pass. Just keep on praying knowing that your girls will find their way home to you as well. I know you would give anything to welcome them back home, but a little tough love is in order sometimes. It will not be easy. Your heart will tear and you will be more distressed because they've chosen this louse over you, but God will work it all out for you. Your sisters here at vibride will always continue to pray for you. May God continue to bless you and your family.
Glad to see you back, but I am sorry you are going thru so much drama! I see you live in the Dallas area (DART gave it away :) so I am your neighbor!
My suggestion to you would be to contact the authorities to get your girls back home with YOU!! you obviously are the custodial parent, so their dad has no right to just "keep them"; also at 15 and 16 although they THINK they are grown, they are not...so if anything was to happen to them God forbid, you are still responsible!
I am praying with you on this situation, and I pray that you remain steadfast in your situation, pray for strength, pray for healing for your heart, soul and body (since you are experiencing medical issues behind this) and pray for peace and reconciliation with your babies...
Glad to see you back, but I am sorry you are going thru so much drama! I see you live in the Dallas area (DART gave it away :) so I am your neighbor!
My suggestion to you would be to contact the authorities to get your girls back home with YOU!! you obviously are the custodial parent, so their dad has no right to just "keep them"; also at 15 and 16 although they THINK they are grown, they are not...so if anything was to happen to them God forbid, you are still responsible!
I am praying with you on this situation, and I pray that you remain steadfast in your situation, pray for strength, pray for healing for your heart, soul and body (since you are experiencing medical issues behind this) and pray for peace and reconciliation with your babies...
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soon, been there done all that. I had my girls going to school in richardson, so when school was back in for the holidays, that's where I found them. I called the police and richardson police told them that they are just kids the dad didn't have the right to tell them to leave home according to custodial papers from long ago child support papers. So I finally got them home so we could talk and find out what was going on with them. They said that they were tired of cleaning up and baby sitting and not getting to hang out with their friends. Mind you all of this is after they were busted for lying about going to the movies and hanging out on new years eve and was put on punishment. Baby that oldest one had here finger on the phone ready to dial 911 and talking straight sh** to me, something she had never done before. My fiance said don't hit her cause she is going to call the police, she wants you to hit her and had the nerve to tell my fiance stop talking to me, you are not my dad, after this man has been with us since they were 5 and 6. So the conversation heated up and she got to the point where she said she is through talking and called her dad to come pick them up. He called the police and drove around my house until they got there. sistas , dallas poice told me that they were old enough to decide where they wanted to stay and they chose to go with him, but I told them don't take any clothes or anything you got for christmas. Now the attorney generals office said that I could take those papers and go get them, but we have four little ones still at the house and I refuse to keep running behind them if they run away again, but I am here if they need me. I have cried and made myself sick because my fiance and I raised them without his help and they were honor roll students and now I don't even know if they have been going to school. I'm hurting but I have be strong for the other four kids
Soon, I live in pleasant grove
Atownswifey I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. You daughters are feeling themselves right now so although it will be hard to do, you will need to practice tough love. As you said, you have 4 other children and they must witness the repercussion of "acting grown" so they won't repeat that behavior when they get older. I'll be sending up prayers for you and your family.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
Thank you pamcrow. All I can do is put it in the lord's hands. I know they say he don't put anything on you that you can't handle and that you go through something terribe before you get your blessing. I must have a large blessing on the way because I have been going through since January. I already feel blessed because I am being allowed to wake up every morning and we are not homeless and starving.
[quote="atownswifey"]Thank you pamcrow. All I can do is put it in the lord's hands. I know they say he don't put anything on you that you can't handle and that you go through something terribe before you get your blessing. I must have a large blessing on the way because I have been going through since January. I already feel blessed because I am being allowed to wake up every morning and we are not homeless and starving.
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Amen!!!!! keep this attitude and you will truly be blessed!! even though I know it is hard to see it right now!
Oh Atownswifey, You are definitely in my prayers.
I hope this gives you hope.
Sometimes you have to look at the negatives in a situation and make something good out of it. This is a totally different situation but I was 15 years old when I got pregnant. I didn't even know I was but my hormones were raging and ran away from home (to my grandmas). It killed my mother. I came back home after all of month and I had my daughter at 16 and my mother ended up seeing her and loving her even more than she loves me. I think when I look back at the situation I see that I left because my mother had a new baby and I went from being the only child to having to share my mother which I was not feeling. Even still now that I am 24 I feel like me and my sister are two different parts of my mother's life. But I love her the same no matter what.
Your girls are gonna be okay just trust in the Lord and understand that whatever it is that he is trying to show you, you are strong enough to make it through. Don't give up on them either. My mother stuck through with me and I am proud to say I graduated HS and college with Honors and her by my side. From reading your blog I can see that you have raised them right and believe me they will make you proud also, so please please don't give up on them because they are still babies, even if they don't think so. You have to keep the faith and never forget that God will never give you more than you can handle.
I may be the last one to give parental advice, but I may have a different perspective...You say that your older daughters are taking care of your four younger children, and they feel like they are not teens...I think this point is valid. The beautiful thing about children is that they are supposed to help around the house, but I imagine, a sit-down on how to make things work better may be in store.
Young ladies grow up, I remember at that age, I got a boyfriend and thought I was grown....I also got pregnant at 16 but I unfortunately aborted the baby-I should have kept it... It killed my mom because she went through the same thing at the same age....looking back I wish my mom had been honest with me about her past, and treating me like the soon-to-be adult I was becoming. (I am not saying you treat your daughters like this)....For me I just think that she was so bent on protecting me, she basically taught me to go to school, get rich, get a richer husband, and try and make a change in the world. Which are noble attributes, but what about the in-between? I honor my mom, because she felt that I made good grades so I am immune to boys, and pitfalls, and I will be the one to "make it", and be perfect, but thats a farce! How can you tell a person to trust God when you really don't? How can you raise a woman to not make the same mistakes you did when you didn't even tell her you made mistakes-so how would I as her daughter know how to trouble-shoot problems, and learn that a man doesn't affirm you? I think that now that you are about to be a grandmother, she is going to need you......When I got pregnant, my mom got so wrapped up in her own disappointment in herself, she abandoned me emotionally because (yes ultimately I chose not to heed her warning about my BF-well he didn't treat me bad, we just snuck off to have sex)----but I needed her bad....She never sat down and talked to me about motherhood, emotions and sex, handling money, STD's, or even living a life for God, because SHE herself wasn't saved....I even dealt with the guilt of the abortion all alone, never knowing my mom had gotten one, and could have shared her experiences with me too....So I felt alone, embarrased, and like I didn't have a friend in the world!
Its not enough anymore to raise our kids, to say, this is right and this is wrong...You have to give them the mental tools, and tricks of life's trade, to know how to get through, and that starts with faith in God, and in yourself as a mom....She needs the tools to learn how to be a mother, and what better teacher THAN her own mom? She needs to know about breastfeeding, and diapers, and funds, and nutrition, and exercise, and labor, and all the things in between. You cannot change the past....and forgiveness is free, but it starts with you! My advice: move past the pain, get married---and give yourself a chance to make it better. Moving to their father's was an act of desperation to get your attention....Now that they have it, and you will soon be a grandmother.....what will you do?
PS....You STILL have smart girls....Intelligence doesn't dwindle....But they just grow and take different paths, but you will just have a smart girl who is also a mother, and with your help, she will be an awesome mom....But DO NOT become this child's mom/grandma.....Their grandma is right to step back because she can't make certain decisions as their mom-only you can...Don't sweat things you cannot control....Just pass the buck to God, and have faith thet he'll get you through...In the meantime...just work on what you can control: How you treat them, how you approach life, and what you can do, with what you have....
I look forward to your wedding in June, and your future updates....Remember this too will pass:)
You clearly are equipped with something great as HE has set this great task on you!
Morning all, Bumble, i beg to differ with you on some things that were stated. My girls did not "raise" the other four children. If we had to go grocery shopping or anything else, they had to keep an eye out for the two younger ones which is part of thier chores. I always talked to my girls about sex, boys and std's. I actually "went to the streets" with the terminology when we had our talks. They thought I was crazy talking like that. And no It was wrong for their grandmother to say that she was not in it because she told me once before if they ever ran away from home, she would pick them up and bring them back to me no matter where they ran too. So I would appreciate that you not make statements like that if you don't know the full story. Ask me to go into details or explain further before you make those assumptions. I did not say that they are not intelligent, they just made some dumb choices. Everytthing that they were saying when we talked was things that another grown up said to them and I know this because they kept saying "my daddy said" or "my granny said". My girls always had my attention. they ran away because we were strict on them. We didn't let them go where they wanted when they wanted too without questioning them. Over there they get free range to do what they want when they want and look what happened. I have too many people telling me that my fiance and I did go with all the kids, so I know we raised them to be respectful young ladies. Sorry sista I had too vent and let you know the real deal.
Hey Atownswifey! Lord knows that I hate to hear things of this nature. I don't hope, but I KNOW that God will bring you through this situation. Just keep your faith in him and he will make a way.
I will pray for your family; God Bless!!
I apologize Atown,
I didn't mean to offend. I assume because they are smart that you raised them to be that way. I assumed that they had to watch the children only when you all were gone...I was so long-winded I didn't see the need to say all that too. I was responding to your comment that you HAD intelligent girls, and I should have seen between the lines.
I was speaking about my experience because my mom was kind of strict on me too, and your girls are lucky to have you had to talk to them directly and in terms they understand. Girls need that type of discipline in their life and they should be questioned about their whereabouts. And I beg your pardon about the situation with their grandmother...That being said, you have a lot in front of you to deal with, especially on how to make a mistake into a blessing. I was presenting what happened to me, and I guess I should have kept my mouth shut cause my experiences really don't matter. But realize that I made mention that I was not saying you were like my mom.....I don't feel bad for anything I said, and I still wish you the best....
No need to apologize about giving me the real deal...You would say it again if you feel the need too anyways, so what are you sorry for?
Thanks bumble, that was nice of you to say. I appreciate that something good will come out of this situation. Maybe by me teaching her how to care for a house hold will help her with her baby. There are some teenagers and even women who don't know the first thing about a baby or how to take care of a home. I just hope their dad snaps back to reality and stir them in the right direction. They still won't talk to me, but they will talk to my mom and sister. My mom is actually mad at me for taking them out of the wedding. I took them out because they still haven't called to talk to me. I had to learn through a friend and a bill from the doctors office about the pregnancy.
Well ladies, alot has happened since i last posted. Basically we have decided to put the wedding off until we get this situation with my girls straightened out. We found out that both my 15 and 16 year are pregnant. Come to find out that the 15 year old's baby daddy is in his 20's and her dad called the police on him, but no one bothered to call and let us know what was going on. I talked to her to see exactly WTF was going on and she told me that she gave him consent to have relations with her and I told her that he was old enough to know better then to start something with a 15 year. "granted that I really don't know the whole situation on how they hooked up" So I am trying to find out how and who I can talk to to find out what happened. We actually had the 16 year old back at home. She called me last week and wanted to know when she could come back home, so we let her. BUT BABY, that sistah got upset and left home again yesterday because I told her that she couldn't go to her little boyfriend's house while his mom was at work. She told me that she was going over there before she came back home and that she think that she made a mistake coming back. So I told her that if she feel like she made a mistake coming back then leave. We were willing to compromise on a curfew but she had to realize that she is still a kid and the same rules apply, just because you have a baby in you, don't make you grown in this house and the boy's mama did not want them at her house while she at work , so she left. I feel bad but then I don't because I put the way she acted towards me in front of the police behind me because I do beleive I was still upset about that.I really don't think she was 100 percent ready to come back because her dad and grandma let her come and go as she pleased and we are simply not having it. So until we get them back on track, I think I am a bit too emotional to finish out the wedding plans I will let you ladies know when we decide on a new date.
sorry that your drama is continuing...but I think you are doing the right thing by postponing your wedding--because I feel when you get married, that time should be totally dedicated to your & FH to relax and have fun!!!!
I know God is going to work your situation out for YOUR good and HIS glory! :)
Atownswifey, I'm sorry for your continued drama. Know that you and your family will be in my prayers always. With all that you've got going on, postponing the wedding in a very smart thing to do. You're stressed out enough. Planning a wedding is suppose to be fun, yes stressful, but in a different way. Please come and vent anytime.
Don't worry girl....As long as you and FH stay strong, the wedding will come....In the meantime, you are doing the right thing by putting family first....My prayers to you sistah!
Well ladies, we have set a new date( May 16, 2009). I am really emotional right now because I assumed that my girls would have come back by now, but I guess all that running around feels too good to them. I have to move on with my life and take take of the other four kids that we are raising. We actually have custody of my friend's son now. She wasn't able to get him back and take care of him, so after four years of him living with us, she asked me take custody of him and he will be a sophmore this school year so he understands and accepted everything thats going.SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, Back to the planning.
Everything is done. I just have to re-do everything that has dates on it. So once again the count down begins, Thanks for listening ladies.
I'm sorry to hear that your girls have not come back, but it is sooo amazing what you are doing for your friends son, you are a good woman.
I am also happy to hear that your wedding is back on, you and your FH deserve it. So now lets start planning because you dont have much time. Time will go by before you know it.
Atwon,
Glad to hear everything is working out for you. AND HEY... keep your head up and dont kick yourself for the decisions that the girls are making. They'll come around.. We all make some bad choices here and there in life so they'll be okay.
So where are you going to start, since everything is pretty much done?
I think I'm going to start with the invitations, programs, matches, toasting flutes etc. Basically everything that has dates on it will get a possible make over. If that doesn't work, I will have to order new ones.
WOW we are!!!!!!!!!!!!
And look at that, we almost had the same wedding ticker. I just hope nothing will stop us this time. I always try to invision myself in my dress when I'm watching bridezilla (without the zilla.)When I saw the lady from Dallas,Tx on there, I really got excited all over again about planning my wedding because we live in Dallas. We will have the view, but not the same expensive venue.Do any know how long you can keep a wedding dress before it starts to turn yellow or mildew in the closet?
Atownswifey, I'm so sorry that the girls have not seen the errors of their ways and return home. You've done all you can do at this point. You're a wonderful mother.
I'm also equally excited that things are back on track with planning your wedding with your marvelous FH. Time is definitely ticking on by and you think 9 months is a lot of time, but not really. It does go by quickly. So we've all got our planners hat on and we're ready to help out.
Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh Snap!!! it just occured to me that Atown and SweetP are getting married on the same day!!!. So ladies, dish what are you both on schedule?
Lately, FH has been putting pressure on me to move up our wedding date. He's saying that he can't wait any longer. I love my man very much, and I want to please him because he asks for so little of me, but how could I accommodate and not run myself ragged in the process. I also have other weddings to plan as well and don't want to short change myself either. I'm still thinking about it, but if I could manage it, I may give in.
Atownswifey, with professional preservation, your wedding gown will never mildew or yellow. There are dry cleaners that say they specialize in gown preservation, but always ask for their certification, always. Your gown will be preserve for years (50) even, until you reopen it and take it out. So, I would suggest you look for a great preservationist.
Glad to hear you've set a new date and everything is full steam ahead. After planning for so long and you deserve to see your dream finally come to life. I keep praying for you and your family that everything else works itself out as well.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
Thanks ladies, all of you give great advice.
Well Ginoue, I have been planning this wedding for two years now and I have everything together. I may change the amount of bridesmaids and the dresses since I couldn't catch up with them during my "TEEN-ATTACK" because David's Bridal has some beautiful bridesmaids dresses out now.:)
Congrats Atownswifey! glad to hear that you have set a new date and big ups to you & FH for taking custody of your friends son...just know that your daughters will also come around and as a mother I know you worry but just give them to GOD and pray for their covering...
I am so excited!!!!!!!! I have been planning this wedding for two years and the time has come for us to become official. I have had butterflies during this whole process. My daughters said dang you act like yall just meet and that's exactly how I feel. I have been trying to upload pictures, but I am having a hard time. I greatly appreciate if someone could help me with this Please I bascially have everything taken care of. I purchased my dress from david's bridal (style# 9h9274). I now consider myself the QUEEN of EBAY. I ordered everything from them. I saved a lot of money ordering bubbles, favor boxes, a second dress, a binding machine to make my programs, our cake topper and more. I also ordered napkins and matches from weddingchannel.com I ordered my shoes from cutestgirl.com I think if it hadn't been for my vb sistahs, I wouldn't have known where to begin, but as soon as I learn how to post pictures, I will show everyone my diy projects. ok ladies , I have to leave until later, BOSS man is walking around
Ok Atownswifey, to post is really simple. If the pictures are saved on your pc, all you have to do is go to www.tinypic.com and click "browse", then go to the part of your pc where the pictures are saved. Select the picture you want by double-clicking on it. It will take you back to tinypic. Then click "upload Now" at the bottom and select the top choice HTML for website. Copy the link and post it to your vibride message and hit "PostReply" when you're done. It shoud post. Good luck to you. I can't wait to hear and see everything you've done!!! When is the big day!!!
Thanks for the help Ginoue. When I get home I will be able to post my DIY projects. Our date is May 17, 2008
You're more than welcome Diva!!!
You and your Boss Man look really nice togethor. I am please that you are so happy. Keep up the good work
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;17;90/st/20080718/e/Two+Hearts+Became+One%21/k/b47e/event.png[/img]
cute pic-atownswifey!!!!! wow, your date is right around the corner! we can't wait to hear details!!!!!!!!
Nice picture antonswifey. Only 5 weeks and 1 day left you must be excited.
Awww, nice pic. Thanks for sharing. So how is everything going with your wedding party? Do they have all their stuff in order?
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
Dish Diva!!! I have my popcorn and a big glass of juice. We're waiting on details (LOL).
Well ladies, it's been a minute since I was on my blog, but a few things have happened.
Well since the beginning of this year we have been going through. Both of my girls, ages 15 and 16, ran away from home in january. I didn't know where they were for two weeks, but I eventually found out that they ran away to their dad's house. I did not communicate with this man for fifteen years. After we had that last baby, I saw the light and moved around. His mom was a big help. It seemed as though his mom and I had those babies because she was always there and always helped me, so I dealt with him through her. I found out that he told them to run down the street and he would pick them up. I was at work and my fiance called me and asked me where are the girls so I said up stairs sleep and he said no they are not here they,are gone. So we started calling their cell phones, but they didn't answer. So I called their dad's mom and asked her to call them. That woman called me back and said the girls have decided to live with their dad and that she didn't want to be in the middle of it. I told her that she has been in the middle of it for 16 years and now for something important,she wants to back out now?!!!!!!....Ladies to make a long story short, my 16 year called my mom april 15th and told her she was 3 months pregnant. My mama had a slight heartache and my blood pressure was up so high, I had to change my diet and start taking medication for it. So we decided to put the wedding off until june 28th this year. I was depressed and disappointed to the point where I had stopped everything pertaining to the wedding. I just really felt betrayed by my girls granny and I didn't even think of chasing him for child support because he was a dead beat. I don't even know where this man lives because I was serious about not being bothered with him. He did not know where we lived until he followed my girls home one day after he dropped them off at the dart train station.....Sorry ladies, I had to vent about this. I had some smart girls that didn't get in trouble, but once they started being around that daddy of theirs, they started changing
Oh my God sister, I will keep your family in my prayers. I went to the same thing with my ex-husband and my children years ago. After raising my children alone for nearly 15 years, this man decided to show up and blow smoke up their butts. They all bought it hook, line and sinker. When they decided that they'd live with their father, I let them and I told them that they had but one chance of coming back. If they come to their senses before 6 months, they're more than welcome to return home, but after that 6th month, they're on their own. Oh my God, the names my ex husband called me, I couldn't even begin to repeat them. Needless to say that my daughter (the eldest) returned home in less than a week, and the boys decided that they'll stay. 6th months passed and not a word from them voluntarily, but I would call their cells and talk to them briefly to find out how they were and all that. In the meantime, my daughter and I have really worked on our relationship and have gotten to be really close to the point that there's nothing, I mean nothing that she won't tell me. On the anniversary that would make this a year, I turned of the boys' cell phone. I would've done that sooner, but Sprint wanted to charge me $150 early disconnection fee per phone (ridiculous). The boys called as soon as their phones were off wanting to know why. I told them that since you live with your father, let him be the one to pay for everything you need and hung up. It was the hardest thing for me to do. I mean these are my babies, but I wanted them to learn a tough lesson. Something went incredibly wrong with them and their father and they called to tell me that they were coming home. I was like "I don't think so". They're like, well, we're outside the door, please open up. I told them that I was very clear, you would've been welcome 8 months ago, but as of now, you've been away for a total of 14 months, you're no longer welcome in my home and I hung up the phone and called my sister. I arranged for them to live with my sister, but they don't know any of this and within 10 minutes, my sister came and got them. Now, you won't find a more devoted children than mine. They all call me every single day, more than 6 times a day, at times. They let me know when they live for school, when they return, how things went in school and everything. They've since apologized for their behavior and I forgave, but in all honesty, things just haven't been the same.
So, Please believe me when I say that this to shall pass. Just keep on praying knowing that your girls will find their way home to you as well. I know you would give anything to welcome them back home, but a little tough love is in order sometimes. It will not be easy. Your heart will tear and you will be more distressed because they've chosen this louse over you, but God will work it all out for you. Your sisters here at vibride will always continue to pray for you. May God continue to bless you and your family.
Atownswifey,
Glad to see you back, but I am sorry you are going thru so much drama! I see you live in the Dallas area (DART gave it away :) so I am your neighbor!
My suggestion to you would be to contact the authorities to get your girls back home with YOU!! you obviously are the custodial parent, so their dad has no right to just "keep them"; also at 15 and 16 although they THINK they are grown, they are not...so if anything was to happen to them God forbid, you are still responsible!
I am praying with you on this situation, and I pray that you remain steadfast in your situation, pray for strength, pray for healing for your heart, soul and body (since you are experiencing medical issues behind this) and pray for peace and reconciliation with your babies...
Wow. I am sorry that you are going through this Atownswifey. Please know that I will continue to pray for you and your family. God. bless.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
[quote="soon2bmsj"]Atownswifey,
Glad to see you back, but I am sorry you are going thru so much drama! I see you live in the Dallas area (DART gave it away :) so I am your neighbor!
My suggestion to you would be to contact the authorities to get your girls back home with YOU!! you obviously are the custodial parent, so their dad has no right to just "keep them"; also at 15 and 16 although they THINK they are grown, they are not...so if anything was to happen to them God forbid, you are still responsible!
I am praying with you on this situation, and I pray that you remain steadfast in your situation, pray for strength, pray for healing for your heart, soul and body (since you are experiencing medical issues behind this) and pray for peace and reconciliation with your babies...
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soon, been there done all that. I had my girls going to school in richardson, so when school was back in for the holidays, that's where I found them. I called the police and richardson police told them that they are just kids the dad didn't have the right to tell them to leave home according to custodial papers from long ago child support papers. So I finally got them home so we could talk and find out what was going on with them. They said that they were tired of cleaning up and baby sitting and not getting to hang out with their friends. Mind you all of this is after they were busted for lying about going to the movies and hanging out on new years eve and was put on punishment. Baby that oldest one had here finger on the phone ready to dial 911 and talking straight sh** to me, something she had never done before. My fiance said don't hit her cause she is going to call the police, she wants you to hit her and had the nerve to tell my fiance stop talking to me, you are not my dad, after this man has been with us since they were 5 and 6. So the conversation heated up and she got to the point where she said she is through talking and called her dad to come pick them up. He called the police and drove around my house until they got there. sistas , dallas poice told me that they were old enough to decide where they wanted to stay and they chose to go with him, but I told them don't take any clothes or anything you got for christmas. Now the attorney generals office said that I could take those papers and go get them, but we have four little ones still at the house and I refuse to keep running behind them if they run away again, but I am here if they need me. I have cried and made myself sick because my fiance and I raised them without his help and they were honor roll students and now I don't even know if they have been going to school. I'm hurting but I have be strong for the other four kids
Soon, I live in pleasant grove
Atownswifey I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. You daughters are feeling themselves right now so although it will be hard to do, you will need to practice tough love. As you said, you have 4 other children and they must witness the repercussion of "acting grown" so they won't repeat that behavior when they get older. I'll be sending up prayers for you and your family.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
Thank you pamcrow. All I can do is put it in the lord's hands. I know they say he don't put anything on you that you can't handle and that you go through something terribe before you get your blessing. I must have a large blessing on the way because I have been going through since January. I already feel blessed because I am being allowed to wake up every morning and we are not homeless and starving.
[quote="atownswifey"]Thank you pamcrow. All I can do is put it in the lord's hands. I know they say he don't put anything on you that you can't handle and that you go through something terribe before you get your blessing. I must have a large blessing on the way because I have been going through since January. I already feel blessed because I am being allowed to wake up every morning and we are not homeless and starving.
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Amen!!!!! keep this attitude and you will truly be blessed!! even though I know it is hard to see it right now!
p.s. I am in Irving :)
God Bless you Atownswifey. Only God knows what you're going through right you.
You will persevere!!!
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Oh Atownswifey, You are definitely in my prayers.
I hope this gives you hope.
Sometimes you have to look at the negatives in a situation and make something good out of it. This is a totally different situation but I was 15 years old when I got pregnant. I didn't even know I was but my hormones were raging and ran away from home (to my grandmas). It killed my mother. I came back home after all of month and I had my daughter at 16 and my mother ended up seeing her and loving her even more than she loves me. I think when I look back at the situation I see that I left because my mother had a new baby and I went from being the only child to having to share my mother which I was not feeling. Even still now that I am 24 I feel like me and my sister are two different parts of my mother's life. But I love her the same no matter what.
Your girls are gonna be okay just trust in the Lord and understand that whatever it is that he is trying to show you, you are strong enough to make it through. Don't give up on them either. My mother stuck through with me and I am proud to say I graduated HS and college with Honors and her by my side. From reading your blog I can see that you have raised them right and believe me they will make you proud also, so please please don't give up on them because they are still babies, even if they don't think so. You have to keep the faith and never forget that God will never give you more than you can handle.
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Opps I forgot Keep planning that wedding that will also be your blessing in the end. Hopefully all of this will done by then.
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Hey Atownswifey.
I may be the last one to give parental advice, but I may have a different perspective...You say that your older daughters are taking care of your four younger children, and they feel like they are not teens...I think this point is valid. The beautiful thing about children is that they are supposed to help around the house, but I imagine, a sit-down on how to make things work better may be in store.
Young ladies grow up, I remember at that age, I got a boyfriend and thought I was grown....I also got pregnant at 16 but I unfortunately aborted the baby-I should have kept it... It killed my mom because she went through the same thing at the same age....looking back I wish my mom had been honest with me about her past, and treating me like the soon-to-be adult I was becoming. (I am not saying you treat your daughters like this)....For me I just think that she was so bent on protecting me, she basically taught me to go to school, get rich, get a richer husband, and try and make a change in the world. Which are noble attributes, but what about the in-between? I honor my mom, because she felt that I made good grades so I am immune to boys, and pitfalls, and I will be the one to "make it", and be perfect, but thats a farce! How can you tell a person to trust God when you really don't? How can you raise a woman to not make the same mistakes you did when you didn't even tell her you made mistakes-so how would I as her daughter know how to trouble-shoot problems, and learn that a man doesn't affirm you? I think that now that you are about to be a grandmother, she is going to need you......When I got pregnant, my mom got so wrapped up in her own disappointment in herself, she abandoned me emotionally because (yes ultimately I chose not to heed her warning about my BF-well he didn't treat me bad, we just snuck off to have sex)----but I needed her bad....She never sat down and talked to me about motherhood, emotions and sex, handling money, STD's, or even living a life for God, because SHE herself wasn't saved....I even dealt with the guilt of the abortion all alone, never knowing my mom had gotten one, and could have shared her experiences with me too....So I felt alone, embarrased, and like I didn't have a friend in the world!
Its not enough anymore to raise our kids, to say, this is right and this is wrong...You have to give them the mental tools, and tricks of life's trade, to know how to get through, and that starts with faith in God, and in yourself as a mom....She needs the tools to learn how to be a mother, and what better teacher THAN her own mom? She needs to know about breastfeeding, and diapers, and funds, and nutrition, and exercise, and labor, and all the things in between. You cannot change the past....and forgiveness is free, but it starts with you! My advice: move past the pain, get married---and give yourself a chance to make it better. Moving to their father's was an act of desperation to get your attention....Now that they have it, and you will soon be a grandmother.....what will you do?
PS....You STILL have smart girls....Intelligence doesn't dwindle....But they just grow and take different paths, but you will just have a smart girl who is also a mother, and with your help, she will be an awesome mom....But DO NOT become this child's mom/grandma.....Their grandma is right to step back because she can't make certain decisions as their mom-only you can...Don't sweat things you cannot control....Just pass the buck to God, and have faith thet he'll get you through...In the meantime...just work on what you can control: How you treat them, how you approach life, and what you can do, with what you have....
I look forward to your wedding in June, and your future updates....Remember this too will pass:)
You clearly are equipped with something great as HE has set this great task on you!
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Morning all, Bumble, i beg to differ with you on some things that were stated. My girls did not "raise" the other four children. If we had to go grocery shopping or anything else, they had to keep an eye out for the two younger ones which is part of thier chores. I always talked to my girls about sex, boys and std's. I actually "went to the streets" with the terminology when we had our talks. They thought I was crazy talking like that. And no It was wrong for their grandmother to say that she was not in it because she told me once before if they ever ran away from home, she would pick them up and bring them back to me no matter where they ran too. So I would appreciate that you not make statements like that if you don't know the full story. Ask me to go into details or explain further before you make those assumptions. I did not say that they are not intelligent, they just made some dumb choices. Everytthing that they were saying when we talked was things that another grown up said to them and I know this because they kept saying "my daddy said" or "my granny said". My girls always had my attention. they ran away because we were strict on them. We didn't let them go where they wanted when they wanted too without questioning them. Over there they get free range to do what they want when they want and look what happened. I have too many people telling me that my fiance and I did go with all the kids, so I know we raised them to be respectful young ladies. Sorry sista I had too vent and let you know the real deal.
Hey Atownswifey! Lord knows that I hate to hear things of this nature. I don't hope, but I KNOW that God will bring you through this situation. Just keep your faith in him and he will make a way.
I will pray for your family; God Bless!!
Thank you sista
I apologize Atown,
I didn't mean to offend. I assume because they are smart that you raised them to be that way. I assumed that they had to watch the children only when you all were gone...I was so long-winded I didn't see the need to say all that too. I was responding to your comment that you HAD intelligent girls, and I should have seen between the lines.
I was speaking about my experience because my mom was kind of strict on me too, and your girls are lucky to have you had to talk to them directly and in terms they understand. Girls need that type of discipline in their life and they should be questioned about their whereabouts. And I beg your pardon about the situation with their grandmother...That being said, you have a lot in front of you to deal with, especially on how to make a mistake into a blessing. I was presenting what happened to me, and I guess I should have kept my mouth shut cause my experiences really don't matter. But realize that I made mention that I was not saying you were like my mom.....I don't feel bad for anything I said, and I still wish you the best....
No need to apologize about giving me the real deal...You would say it again if you feel the need too anyways, so what are you sorry for?
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Thanks bumble, that was nice of you to say. I appreciate that something good will come out of this situation. Maybe by me teaching her how to care for a house hold will help her with her baby. There are some teenagers and even women who don't know the first thing about a baby or how to take care of a home. I just hope their dad snaps back to reality and stir them in the right direction. They still won't talk to me, but they will talk to my mom and sister. My mom is actually mad at me for taking them out of the wedding. I took them out because they still haven't called to talk to me. I had to learn through a friend and a bill from the doctors office about the pregnancy.
Well good luck...They may change their minds yet....
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Well ladies, alot has happened since i last posted. Basically we have decided to put the wedding off until we get this situation with my girls straightened out. We found out that both my 15 and 16 year are pregnant. Come to find out that the 15 year old's baby daddy is in his 20's and her dad called the police on him, but no one bothered to call and let us know what was going on. I talked to her to see exactly WTF was going on and she told me that she gave him consent to have relations with her and I told her that he was old enough to know better then to start something with a 15 year. "granted that I really don't know the whole situation on how they hooked up" So I am trying to find out how and who I can talk to to find out what happened. We actually had the 16 year old back at home. She called me last week and wanted to know when she could come back home, so we let her. BUT BABY, that sistah got upset and left home again yesterday because I told her that she couldn't go to her little boyfriend's house while his mom was at work. She told me that she was going over there before she came back home and that she think that she made a mistake coming back. So I told her that if she feel like she made a mistake coming back then leave. We were willing to compromise on a curfew but she had to realize that she is still a kid and the same rules apply, just because you have a baby in you, don't make you grown in this house and the boy's mama did not want them at her house while she at work , so she left. I feel bad but then I don't because I put the way she acted towards me in front of the police behind me because I do beleive I was still upset about that.I really don't think she was 100 percent ready to come back because her dad and grandma let her come and go as she pleased and we are simply not having it. So until we get them back on track, I think I am a bit too emotional to finish out the wedding plans I will let you ladies know when we decide on a new date.
Sounds like you have your hands full so I guess it's good thing that you are postponing your wedding.
I wish you the best and God Bless your family.
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Atown sorry to hear things with your girls aren't any better and that you'll be postponing your plans. I'll keep your family in my prayers.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
You are in my prayers sista! I wish your family the best in the future...God Bless You and Your Family!
Remember To Always Be Fabulous!!!
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Thanks ladies I really appreciate the prayers I need an exorcist also.:)
sorry that your drama is continuing...but I think you are doing the right thing by postponing your wedding--because I feel when you get married, that time should be totally dedicated to your & FH to relax and have fun!!!!
I know God is going to work your situation out for YOUR good and HIS glory! :)
I know it's a lot going on with you but GOD will see you through. You and your family are in my prayers. Good luck sis.
Atownswifey, I'm sorry for your continued drama. Know that you and your family will be in my prayers always. With all that you've got going on, postponing the wedding in a very smart thing to do. You're stressed out enough. Planning a wedding is suppose to be fun, yes stressful, but in a different way. Please come and vent anytime.
Hey Atown,
Don't worry girl....As long as you and FH stay strong, the wedding will come....In the meantime, you are doing the right thing by putting family first....My prayers to you sistah!
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Well ladies, we have set a new date( May 16, 2009). I am really emotional right now because I assumed that my girls would have come back by now, but I guess all that running around feels too good to them. I have to move on with my life and take take of the other four kids that we are raising. We actually have custody of my friend's son now. She wasn't able to get him back and take care of him, so after four years of him living with us, she asked me take custody of him and he will be a sophmore this school year so he understands and accepted everything thats going.SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, Back to the planning.
Everything is done. I just have to re-do everything that has dates on it. So once again the count down begins, Thanks for listening ladies.
I'm sorry to hear that your girls have not come back, but it is sooo amazing what you are doing for your friends son, you are a good woman.
I am also happy to hear that your wedding is back on, you and your FH deserve it. So now lets start planning because you dont have much time. Time will go by before you know it.
Atwon,
Glad to hear everything is working out for you. AND HEY... keep your head up and dont kick yourself for the decisions that the girls are making. They'll come around.. We all make some bad choices here and there in life so they'll be okay.
So where are you going to start, since everything is pretty much done?
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I think I'm going to start with the invitations, programs, matches, toasting flutes etc. Basically everything that has dates on it will get a possible make over. If that doesn't work, I will have to order new ones.
WOW Atownswifey We are DATE TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How Exciting!!! I'm excited to hear that your wedding is back on!~Happy Planning~ and the countdown is ticking GL
Remember To Always Be Fabulous!!!
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WOW we are!!!!!!!!!!!!
And look at that, we almost had the same wedding ticker. I just hope nothing will stop us this time. I always try to invision myself in my dress when I'm watching bridezilla (without the zilla.)When I saw the lady from Dallas,Tx on there, I really got excited all over again about planning my wedding because we live in Dallas. We will have the view, but not the same expensive venue.Do any know how long you can keep a wedding dress before it starts to turn yellow or mildew in the closet?
Atownswifey, I'm so sorry that the girls have not seen the errors of their ways and return home. You've done all you can do at this point. You're a wonderful mother.
I'm also equally excited that things are back on track with planning your wedding with your marvelous FH. Time is definitely ticking on by and you think 9 months is a lot of time, but not really. It does go by quickly. So we've all got our planners hat on and we're ready to help out.
Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh Snap!!! it just occured to me that Atown and SweetP are getting married on the same day!!!. So ladies, dish what are you both on schedule?
Lately, FH has been putting pressure on me to move up our wedding date. He's saying that he can't wait any longer. I love my man very much, and I want to please him because he asks for so little of me, but how could I accommodate and not run myself ragged in the process. I also have other weddings to plan as well and don't want to short change myself either. I'm still thinking about it, but if I could manage it, I may give in.
Atownswifey, with professional preservation, your wedding gown will never mildew or yellow. There are dry cleaners that say they specialize in gown preservation, but always ask for their certification, always. Your gown will be preserve for years (50) even, until you reopen it and take it out. So, I would suggest you look for a great preservationist.
Glad to hear you've set a new date and everything is full steam ahead. After planning for so long and you deserve to see your dream finally come to life. I keep praying for you and your family that everything else works itself out as well.
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
Thanks ladies, all of you give great advice.
Well Ginoue, I have been planning this wedding for two years now and I have everything together. I may change the amount of bridesmaids and the dresses since I couldn't catch up with them during my "TEEN-ATTACK" because David's Bridal has some beautiful bridesmaids dresses out now.:)
You go then Diva Atown
Congrats Atownswifey! glad to hear that you have set a new date and big ups to you & FH for taking custody of your friends son...just know that your daughters will also come around and as a mother I know you worry but just give them to GOD and pray for their covering...
Now...HAPPY PLANNING...!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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