I wanted to put this out on the site to get everyone's opinion. I am getting married Sept. 2006. My FH and I set the date a few months ago, but I just selected my bridal party. Well, to make a long story short, I decided that I didn't want a big wedding party, therefore, all of my friends couldn't be bridesmaids. So I selected five friends to be bridesmaids and four others to be bridal attendants(a unique name for hostess--I thought). The problem is that one of my friends that I asked to be a bridal attendant became upset and declined to even participate. Another one didn't/hasn't responded at all. I know in my heart that she declined for that reason because she wanted to know who I selected as bridesmaids and after I told her, she said well, I decline! I sent them all letters telling them that my FH and I would be honored if they participated in our ceremony. This really hurt! My FH tells me not to worry about it, because a REAL friend would have been happy for me and willing to do anything to assist. Should I call the other one and ask her for her decision? Should I even worry about it?
I wanted to put this out on the site to get everyone's opinion. I am getting married Sept. 2006. My FH and I set the date a few months ago, but I just selected my bridal party. Well, to make a long story short, I decided that I didn't want a big wedding party, therefore, all of my friends couldn't be bridesmaids. So I selected five friends to be bridesmaids and four others to be bridal attendants(a unique name for hostess--I thought). The problem is that one of my friends that I asked to be a bridal attendant became upset and declined to even participate. Another one didn't/hasn't responded at all. I know in my heart that she declined for that reason because she wanted to know who I selected as bridesmaids and after I told her, she said well, I decline! I sent them all letters telling them that my FH and I would be honored if they participated in our ceremony. This really hurt! My FH tells me not to worry about it, because a REAL friend would have been happy for me and willing to do anything to assist. Should I call the other one and ask her for her decision? Should I even worry about it?
Hi Chinadoll and welcome to the boards! My wedding is in November 2006, and one thing I have learned in all of this.... You can't please everyone. Girl I will tell you unfortunately when we begin to move forward with our wedding plans, some people (family and/or friends) begin to really show out! I have gone through a little drama myself, my daughter's godmother and one of my good friends, has been gossiping and being an all out "hater", needless to say, I am very hurt by this, and shocked to say the least. My own sister (one of my MOHs), decided out of the clear blue that she did not like the dress that we all originally agreed on -- now I don't know what's going on with her. Unfortunately and I don't like to go here, but sometimes people have jealous or some other issues going on with them. I agree with your FH that a real friend would be happy to assist in any way that they could. In light of the fact that you haven't heard from the other friend, I would call and ask her for a response, it is not ok to assume anything. In this way you will be able to move forward. I truly wish you all the best and remember this is your day -- girlfriend do it your way!!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Thanks Rhonda, I will definitely take your advice. I am actually going to give my friend until the end of the month and if I don't hear from her by then, I will give her a call. It's funny how family and friends act during times like this. I hope that everything works out for you as well.....congratulations!
Times like these seperate the fair weather from the forever friends. It's all work out ladies.
Living my life like it's GOLDEN!!
I like that Phenomonique.....fair weather from the forever :-)
Thanks Phenomonique I like those words too! And I keep telling myself that it will all work out.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Reading this I tried to see it from both sides of the coin and I understand both aspects...I however am a little taken-aback by the whole scenario and I would avoid any potential misunderstanding by just going ahead and plan the wedding as intended...I am a little concerned that your friends could not answer you right away when you asked them to be attendants...I personally would not go looking for a reponse, I would jump if my friend asked me to participate....assume they declined until they say and if they say yes...other than that just go on as usual.
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
I appreciate that Charlotte. I guess I just assumed that all of my friends would be willing to assist no matter in what capacity. Nevertheless, the show will go on (not that it's a show). I guess I just wanted everyone to be as happy as I am. I feel a lot better about the situation now. I think I just needed to vent. Thanks ladies!!!!!!
To try and figure out people will only give you a headache...it is sad that people you consider "friend" are the very same ones that will be the least happy for you...that's human nature and there is nothing you can do about it---To maintain your santity especially now when you are trying to deal with something as stressful as a wedding--the last thing you need to "become apart of anyone's problem"..and I say problem because it is obvious there is a little jealously in the air.
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.
Charlotte, you said it. Chinadoll, now's the time to celebrate, it's your time gurl!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Being a christian is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life...(2 C-Sections is a joke) lol....but people really does yuck up my vextation acting the fool especially people who you consider (friend!)
Charlotte wishes you all a beautiful Christmas filled with loads of love, laughter and the true meaning of this blessed season.