How do you get them to dance? I'm trying to keep an old school hip hop and neo soul feel to my music to rule out swear words and explicit lyrics and still have fun. But there will be some folks (church folks) that feel that dancing (especially to that kind of music) is wrong and may not dance. My friends and I are all ex club heads. I told them pretty much their will be nobody dropping down and getting their eagle on or shaking it fast lol. But I know how we do. Plus there will be folks in there that aren't saved and will be acting like they're at at the club anyway.
How can I ensure that everyone will have a good time and still feel comfortable?
How do you get them to dance? I'm trying to keep an old school hip hop and neo soul feel to my music to rule out swear words and explicit lyrics and still have fun. But there will be some folks (church folks) that feel that dancing (especially to that kind of music) is wrong and may not dance. My friends and I are all ex club heads. I told them pretty much their will be nobody dropping down and getting their eagle on or shaking it fast lol. But I know how we do. Plus there will be folks in there that aren't saved and will be acting like they're at at the club anyway.
How can I ensure that everyone will have a good time and still feel comfortable?
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what im doing is having a jazz band in one area and a dj in the other so that all of my guest that are saved and churchy can sit in that area.
"WHAT GOD HAS FOR ME,It is for me!
June 20,2009 Ill marry my soulmate!
HeCallsMeAbeni, I am going to share something that is very controversial with you. I did not invite my church family to my wedding because they don't believe in dancing. They believe it is a sin. I don't share those views. How can sharing a dance with my husband be sinful????? I made a very hard choice and didn't invite anyone from my church. I told them that I was having a private ceremony. I attended a wedding of a church member who had dancing and they talked about them so bad. I didn't want that type of energy on my day. Abeni, do what makes you happy -- you can't please everyone. Choose the type of music that works for you and your FH and they will do what comes natural for them. In any event, I wish you all the best.
I received a lot of flack for this, but after I observed them being so judgemental at my fellow church'sister's wedding. I made the best decision I thought would work for me.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
You'd be surprised at how many church folks dance to the old school stuff. They start reminiscing and next thing you know they start bobbing their heads, tapping there feet and knocking you over to get to the dance floor. It just has to be the type of music that makes you say "Now that's what I call music, they don't make songs like this anymore".
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
[quote="DaughterRhonda"]HeCallsMeAbeni, I am going to share something that is very controversial with you. I did not invite my church family to my wedding because they don't believe in dancing. They believe it is a sin. I don't share those views. How can sharing a dance with my husband be sinful????? I made a very hard choice and didn't invite anyone from my church. I told them that I was having a private ceremony. I attended a wedding of a church member who had dancing and they talked about them so bad. I didn't want that type of energy on my day. Abeni, do what makes you happy -- you can't please everyone. Choose the type of music that works for you and your FH and they will do what comes natural for them. In any event, I wish you all the best.
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Thanks Rhony. A part of me can't believe their like that but I've already heard my grandmother and mother saying that dancing is looked down upon. A lot of the folks from my church aren't going to be invited to the reception except for my pastor, his wife, our evangelist and my sunday school kids (my flower girls) and their parents. The relgious people I'm talking about are mostly FI's family members.
But I feel what you ladies are saying. Regardless of what I do somebody is going to be hating somewhere. I'm still going to get my dance on. I just got to keep my booty in check! lol
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I don't see anything wrong with Al Green, Stevie Wonder, and Earth Wind and Fire.
Born Blessed!
Good for you Abeni!!!
Plat I agree with you!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Our families are sort of a mixture of both, but most of the people in my dad's family are church folks who will not dance. My mom's side of the family are church people also, but they still love to party and have fun. My FH's family is a little older, so I really am not sure what to expect from them! His father likes to have fun! But I do know know that my FH and I plan to have a fun reception filled with music and dancing. There will be some there who might not want to take part in this, but that is there decision. As a told you in another blog, my brother works for WAMO (a hip hop radio station in Pittsburgh for those of you who aren't familiar with the city), so one of their dj's will be doing our reception, so there will definitely be a wide variety of music played that night. I will ask him to play the edited versions of the rap tracks, just because they tend to get way out of hand. But anyways, it is up to you and your FH to make the final decision on what is best for the two of you. If you decide to invite those who might look down upon your music, then I see that as their problem. If you think their reactions and negative attitudes will affect your day and feelings in any way, maybe you should do as Rhony said, and exclude all members of the church. As far as your FH's family, hopefully they will just understand that you are a young couple who enjoys having fun and dancing. I'm not sure that there is a way that you can get them to dance, but they might start feeling the old school tunes once they hear them...LOL! Then again, my uncle, who is really into church, refused to do dance with his daughter on her wedding day because he thinks dancing is wrong. She still had dancing at her reception though, music of all types, hip hop, R & B, old school. As mentioned earlier, you can't please everyone, so just do what you and FH feel is best for the two of you.
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Well said TiffyB!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Thank ya sister Rhony!!
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My cousin just had an engagement party last month. His grandfather (my uncle) is our pastor, grandmother is assistant pastor, etc so there were SEVERAL church folks there! They had a live band for the 1st 2 hours, and DJ for the last hour. Some church folks danced, some didn't. At his sister's wedding (who married our co-pastor by the way), there were some rather interesting things going down on that dance floor and there was no liquor involved!
One minister made a good point as to why she wasn't dancing (particularly speaking of the Cupid Shuffle) - She said when people see ministers dancing they associate it negatively, like they're being hypocrites, and she doesn't want to portray anything that will compromise what she represents being a Christian, or jepordize the goal she was given by God to win souls.
I guess what I'm saying is that some people have their reasons for not dancing but it doesn't mean they aren't having a good time. Just try to create a comfortable and joyous environment and be sure you and your FH enjoy YOURSELVES. Don't compromise for others so much that you end up not enjoying you day!
this topic REALLY gets me...my church members and I constantly have this debate...tell me-WHERE DOES IT SAY IN THE BIBLE THAT YOU CAN NOT DANCE?? WHERE DOES IT SAY YOU CANNOT DRINK (not drunkeness) didn't Jesus turn water into wine at a wedding??? my answer to people with this view of the dancing etc is-we all fall short of his glory in some way or another, the "church members" that DaughterRhonda spoke of were committing sins (judging, gossiping etc) do they not realize that? hey we ARE dancing, at my reception that is in the FELLOWSHIP hall of my church! for those that got a problem with it-we have 2 exit doors-one on the left and one on the right of the hall! :)
That's right abeni. I was thinking of what kind of music to play @ the reception. I was thinking R&B, Hip Hop, Radio Rap, and Blues cause I love me some Al Green, Marvin Sease, Barry White, Little Milton, Betty Wright, Stepanie MIlls, The Temptations, Eart Wind and Fire. Need I go On? As a matter of fact our first dance is going to be to Barry White's I've Got So Much to Give. Anyone that comes to our barbeques know we like to party. Hell my kids know half of the songs we play.(except Marvin Sease) Of course I know that some of the church folk may be offended, but they do have the option to leave. I'm not being mean nad I apologize if I am offending anyone, but this is a celebration that I have been planning for two years and I know It's going to go by fast, so we plan on enjoying it to the fullest.
Honey David danced until his clothes feel off and when his wife talked about him and ridiculed him she became barren (worthless).
My FH is concerened about the same thing. So many of his friends are living "worldly" lives. I told him so what and so are many of mine.
I figure it like this:
If we all sat around and talked; then I wouldn't enjoy myself and most likely not many others would either. The same church folks would say how boring my reception was and that everyone had a terrible time.
Or
We can kick back enjoy ourselves and celebrate with the people who are real to us and themselves. Haters will hate on everything and everybody (even the gorgeous green m&m).
It's your day; block out everything and everybody but your husband and DO YOUR THING! That's what I plan on doing.
Love lights even the darkest of paths.
What Fire doesn't destroy, only makes stronger.
Even when you don't know; God knows. I will be still and let Him do His thing.
Alone in the world; but always in the company of the Lord.
My brother is a deacon, but he and his new wife (pastor's daughter) are both 24 AND they invited many church folk, especially the other young men and deacons, and there was plenty of dancing! They played a lot of old school stuff, and they played some stuff that everyone can get up and dance to like the electric slide, cupid shuffle (his wife's mother danced to that, and she is an elder in her church), step in the name of love, cha cha slide, "jump on it", etc. Both of us used a Christian DJ who is local and does parties for groups who are looking for music with no profanity or sexual lyrics....He didn't play a lot of slow dancing music at all, just some for dancing with mom, and me and my sister and of course with his wife, but after that, it was a lot of up-beat music. He played that 2-step song, and some other newer music, but nothing that talked about women in a sexual manner, or sex in general...and most music that was about dancing they played....He had some elders and other ministers from our church there too. (They are young-under 30-however)
Understand this...the older folk ain't gonna dance anyways. Especially if a lot of younger people are dancing....Parents 30-55 may get up cause they are the 70's generation....I didn't invite many people from my church, but looking at my brother's turnout, i should have given them the benefit of the doubt....especially the young ones....People are still talking about the great mix of songs my brother's DJ had at the reception to this day, and the wedding was in July.
I think that with a good review of song titles....My brother and his wife spent hours doing this whearas I spent an hour-and he got a great result...My brother is a deacon, and minister in training...and he is not on both sides of the line by any means....
I think now-looking back that if you think about it too much (like I did) it can get overwhelming...but if you get the songs YOU BOTH like, and make sure the lyrics are okay then thats all that matters....
Now my conservative in-laws had something to say about my sis-in-law's mom dancing on the dance floor, but they don't even GO to church...and I'm not trying to dis my in-laws-I Love them to death- but I'm just saying that everyone WILL have something to say NO MATTER WHAT...but looking back....my brother's reception was all that...AND EVERYONE HAD FUN!
Invite whoever you want to invite, and remember that you should do nothing to compromise your Christianity anyways....Honey church folk, and non-church folk will be whining about SOMETHING....It happens all the time....but you will never hear about it.... Thank Goodness:)
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[quote="platinumstyle"]I don't see anything wrong with Al Green, Stevie Wonder, and Earth Wind and Fire.
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Love me some Earth, Wind, and Fire...and there was plenty of that and Stevie at my brother's wedding reception!
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hey I'm dancing now just thinking about your brothers wedding Bumblebeekee! LOL
"you cha-cha with your right, you cha-cha with you left, you turn the right and move to the left back it up! and jump!! :)"
by the way FH is also a Deacon in training (and an ex-DJ) our dj works for one of the local radio stations-and we also have made of list of the songs we want played to make sure nothing crosses the "line" so I think it will be cool-if not then I will be singing "to the right, to the right, to the right, to the right, to the left, to the left, to the left, to the left, now kick, now kick, now kick, now kick and walk it by yourself (out the door please! :)
Personally, I think it would be kind of boring to have a reception without dancing. Besides eating, what other activities would go on? Bingo? Church folk shouldn't be offend unless the reception music is only booty shaking music like Luke and everyone on the dance floor is hunching (southern term, y'all excuse me). Shoot, when my brother got married (he and my SIL are very religious), they had a good DJ. He played something for everybody. Even the bride's Grandmother was doing the "cha cha slide" (doing better than the young folk).
Even though I was on crutches (due to a car accident), I cut a few steps, too. We had a great time!
Born Blessed!
[quote="platinumstyle"]Even the bride's Grandmother was doing the "cha cha slide" (doing better than the young folk).[/quote]
At my cousin's wedding my grandmother had everybody cracking up! Homegirl got on the dance floor to "Shake what ya mama gave ya!" She was shaking her booty (of which she had plenty) yelling "This what she gave me! This what she gave me!" ROTFLMAO remembering! Good times. Good times!
[quote="FutureMrsKeepUp"]Even the bride's Grandmother was doing the "cha cha slide" (doing better than the young folk).
At my cousin's wedding my grandmother had everybody cracking up! Homegirl got on the dance floor to "Shake what ya mama gave ya!" She was shaking her booty (of which she had plenty) yelling "This what she gave me! This what she gave me!" ROTFLMAO remembering! Good times. Good times!
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LOL!!!! well I guarantee you my grandma will NOT be dancing...I don't think I have ever saw her dance in my life--hmmm...but that is ok, her granddaughter (me) will be walking it out! :)
[quote="soon2bmsj"]by the way FH is also a Deacon in training (and an ex-DJ)
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My FH is too
Love lights even the darkest of paths.
What Fire doesn't destroy, only makes stronger.
Even when you don't know; God knows. I will be still and let Him do His thing.
Alone in the world; but always in the company of the Lord.
I am soooo happy I can across this post. I am a minister at my church and I am not inviting my church family becuase they would not understand The Rev. getting her groove on with her husband. I am sure something will be said about not being invited but me and my FH wanted to have the time of our lives without all the negative remarks. My FH family do not believe in dancing but FH does not share that belief...King David danced.
nhamer615
[quote="nhamer615"]I am soooo happy I can across this post. I am a minister at my church and I am not inviting my church family becuase they would not understand The Rev. getting her groove on with her husband. I am sure something will be said about not being invited but me and my FH wanted to have the time of our lives without all the negative remarks. My FH family do not believe in dancing but FH does not share that belief...King David danced.
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That is exactly why I didn't invite my church family to my wedding. And I had the best day of my life without all of the negative remarks. I am very active in my church, teach, choir director and African American History Month Coordinator -- they just wouldn't understand. So believe me I'm with you on this one!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
and isn't it sad that you have to go to these extremes just to enjoy yourself??? what happened to judge not lest ye be judged? well I hope you have a funky good time at your reception nhamer615!!! :)
It is very sad...if our reception is anything like our engagement party we will be gettin down all night. I just don't think God wants us to be all stuffed shirt and boring. Jesus had a social life, he fellowshiped with people. Back in those days, people celebrated for days. Eating, dancing and having a good time. Church folk can be so judgemental....
nhamer615
[quote="nhamer615"]It is very sad...if our reception is anything like our engagement party we will be gettin down all night. I just don't think God wants us to be all stuffed shirt and boring. Jesus had a social life, he fellowshiped with people. Back in those days, people celebrated for days. Eating, dancing and having a good time. Church folk can be so judgemental....
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Unfortunately, it's sad but true.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Wasn't it at a wedding where Jesus turned water into wine? Why would they need MORE wine if they didn't drink it?
[quote="FutureMrsKeepUp"]Wasn't it at a wedding where Jesus turned water into wine? Why would they need MORE wine if they didn't drink it?
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SO Funny Future! HAHAHA!.....They drank it all up! All that celebratin'.....j/k. I heard that back then they didn't drink for the purpose of getting drunk (Like some of my college buddies)...plus it was more like drinking slightly strong grape juice.....Even still, they needed more....They sure could have used some sweet tea or fruit punch...lol.
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I mean if it was for the purfication ceremony (which I guess they now call communion) isn't that just the bride and groom and then they break the glass? Didn't the head chef go to the bride and groom with the "new" wine and tell them he saved the good stuff for last? But hadn't they already had a drink? I would think they were served 1st! I'm just saying if they were thirsty- why didn't he just turn the water into "red" koolaid?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the corner repenting and reading my bible! LOL!
[quote="FutureMrsKeepUp"]I mean if it was for the purfication ceremony (which I guess they now call communion) isn't that just the bride and groom and then they break the glass? Didn't the head chef go to the bride and groom with the "new" wine and tell them he saved the good stuff for last? But hadn't they already had a drink? I would think they were served 1st! I'm just saying if they were thirsty- why didn't he just turn the water into "red" koolaid?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the corner repenting and reading my bible! LOL!
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OHHHHHHHHHHH SNAPPPPP! LOL!!!! WOW! Y'all are funny! I probably need to be in a corner on the opposite side of the room for laughing
Wedding Ticker from WhenIsMyWedding.com
[quote="FutureMrsKeepUp"]I mean if it was for the purfication ceremony (which I guess they now call communion) isn't that just the bride and groom and then they break the glass? Didn't the head chef go to the bride and groom with the "new" wine and tell them he saved the good stuff for last? But hadn't they already had a drink? I would think they were served 1st! I'm just saying if they were thirsty- why didn't he just turn the water into "red" koolaid?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the corner repenting and reading my bible! LOL!
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Lord forgive her for she knows not what she says... LOL
[quote="FutureMrsKeepUp"]Wasn't it at a wedding where Jesus turned water into wine? Why would they need MORE wine if they didn't drink it?
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Girl you crazy...LOL
"I'm a work in progress, God is not through me yet"
[quote="FutureMrsKeepUp"]I mean if it was for the purfication ceremony (which I guess they now call communion) isn't that just the bride and groom and then they break the glass? Didn't the head chef go to the bride and groom with the "new" wine and tell them he saved the good stuff for last? But hadn't they already had a drink? I would think they were served 1st! I'm just saying if they were thirsty- why didn't he just turn the water into "red" koolaid?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the corner repenting and reading my bible! LOL!
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Girl come out the corner! You're good. That was just the tradition...See the new wine was the "real" stuff, and the stuff they ran out of was some wine is not strong as wines are today....Too much of that weak wine of course would have made you drunk, but like I said, back then it was more like a slightly strong grape juice....but you made a point...I am a student of ancient history.....Not trying to be overly nerdy on here.....but what you said in that post had me rollin' yesterday.....Maybe you SHOULD invite the church folk, and serve them some "grape juice" and a lot of it! I bet they'd be dancing after a few hit of that.....I guess I really need to MAKE ME A PALLETTE IN THE CORNER for saying that!
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