Classy's Blog / Vent Haven - don't pay me no mind

Vent for 02/01/07:

I AM NOT PREGGERS! I wish people would stop asking or raising their eyebrows at us. Just because we moved up the wedding date, doesn't mean it's because we're pregnant. We've been together for four years, living together for 8 months, and it's time to stop shacking and start marriage. What's so wrong with that and why must folks assume the worse? Geez...

Vent 02/04/07

Ugh! I hate doubting my own feelings about us choosing to having a wedding before our dream home. I sat with two friends yesterday as they are both engaged, yet they decided to push their weddings back 6-9 months in order to buy a house. Now I'm thinking, "Did we make the right decision? Should we have wanted a house together before marriage?" It just seems risky. What if we had broke up and were wrapped up in a house together financially? Doesn't it make it better to be married first? *sigh* I guess I'm just envious because all 3 of us had to choose which one came first and I was the only one who chose a wedding. Now, I'm in a townhouse, while they are in nice big square footage homes. :o(

[quote="Rosetta"]HAH! I hate haters! When I got married I gained 30 pounds in the year I was engaged. (I had fibroids but didn't know it yet) As I was WALKING DOWN THE AISLE I heard my hubby's cousin say, "This musta been a shotgun wedding!" I was so hot that I finished what should have been a happy walk towrds my future husband glowering and PO'd. Don't let 'em get to you. It is nobody's business even if you WERE preggers! Just get married and enjoy your day.
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Let the choir say amen

[quote="DaughterRhonda"]Shame on them Classy!!! They should be happy for you -- without all the extra eyebrow raising!
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I guess it just made me sad that the ones who were once the most supportive are now the most suspicious.

[quote="georgiagurl"]Why do people always assume the worst??? Anywqy if you were expecting that would be your business! I swear, folks need to learn to just be happy for others...
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Why is that there are people who make it their business to try to find fault in others? Not cool. There are clear faults they can find in me if need be, just don't make up one!

[quote="Bumblebeekee"]Girl, get used to it...but it'll die down. We moved our date up by one year and people said we were rushing for a reason. It doesn't matter if we had been together for 7 years.....I guess people just want you to date forever......My FH's dad flat out asked me (of course while my FH wasn't around) if I was pregnant. Not using those words, but I knew what he meant. I know I'm a little slow sometimes but dag!
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FH'S brother flat out asked him...and then FH waited til we got home and asked ME if I was sure! WTF? lawd.

[quote="MsBoston"]Sometimes people need to get a life and stop worrying so much about other folks. But remember... people always want/need something to talk about even if it's nothing at all.
I WISH someone would ask me that. If your rude enough to ask the question, be prepared to drop your jaw as a fix your response!
How much did you move the date up?
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LOL MsBoston. It was set for October because the facility was booked (of course), but then I told them to call me if there were cancellations and we'd pay the fee to move our date up. Well, they did and we took it. Now everyone's like, "dang, what's the rush?" First they frown on shacking, now raising eyebrows on moving up the date?

Several vents 2/05/07

Don't snub me! I have green money like everyone else! The floral designer I wanted didn't email or call me back after 2 weeks of trying to contact them. Fug it! I went to the company that I didn't think would be about anything and they turned out to be the best ones I have visited.

Work with me FH! Why did he tell me tonight that he was thinking of having a band play at the reception while at other times, I'm pulling teeth trying to get him to have any positive input on the wedding? He says because he feels he doesn't control anything and once he asks one question, I talk his ear off. Okay, fair enough...but how does he expect an excited bride to act at this point?

To my music director of the string trio: WHY WHY WHY WHY? Why send me a list of songs only to tell me that the ones I chose (both on and off the list) would go better at different parts of the ceremony? Didn't I tell you I picked those songs for a reason? And why can't Ave Maria be played by the trio? Is that your way of trying to force me to upgrade? I'm NOT paying $800 for the ceremony music, poo poo head! And how loud do I have to shout that I walk to Canon in D?! Me. Not the mothers. ME.

Ok. I had to let my Bridezilla side out here so I won't get left w/o any vendors if I actually showed them how annoyed I was. :o)

[quote="Bumblebeekee"]No worries Classy. Remember that all things are as God ordered it. About the house. YOU are doing it the RIGHT way. Don't worry about others' blessings. Whats for them is for them, and whats for you is for you. Plus we have no idea what its taking for them to have that lovely big house. I could easily get upset or envious that my baby brother is in a position to purchase a house when his fiance moves here (they get married 7/7/07)-and I do from time to time, but I am glad I know better. In prayer, God often reminds me that HE does not want us to envy others, and sometimes He justs wants to know if we beleive him enough to hold on a little longer to the little we have-so he can continue to prepare us when he blesses us with more than we ask for. Cause God can do it!

For instance. My car is not the worst car out there, but honey it ain't the best. But I don't make a lot of money and I take care of the car I have. Plus I watched my baby brother buy MY DREAM car in 2005---and I was very glad for him....very glad because he deserves it! However, I prayed that my car would last until I get positioned to buy a new one. And so I didn't worry about it. I always prayed on it, and reminded myself that my time was coming soon. I really could feel it. I didn't know HOW I would pay for a new car, I just knew He would work my finances out somehow! Well about 2 hours ago, my FH just came back from him hometown after being asked by his parents to come home with no reason why...to make a long story short, they bought US a 2006 Suzuki Grand Vitara as an early Wedding Present. AND its not a lease! I just sat on the ground a cried, and thanked God. Plus: We have NO PAYMENTS, nor do we have insurance payments. And all I can think of is how great God is, and so I thank him without cease.
Now what could have happened if I worred about what others have?

So Classy, don't worry about a thing. When God blesses you. He blesses you with more than you ask for, as long as you BELIEVE IT!
I'm not writing this to brag to you-but to encourage you. If you can believe in the IMPOSSIBLE, then The "IMPOSSIBLE" -whatever that is to you, WILL HAPPEN FOR YOU!
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Oh wow. Your post actually made me feel a lot better. Thanks for taking time to share.

Vent 2/12/2007:

Mother-in-law to be was having chest pains and 911 had to be called. Devil, you are a fat liar! Yes you are. I don't know what's going on yet. She is back home and we are praying for her health and that she finds out what is wrong.

FH is still adding stuff and it pisses me off because I don't like most of his additions. He gets all huffy about practical costs for the wedding (i.e. ring pillows, photo picture frame guestbook), but yet he has no problem tacking on person after person to our reception guest count. We could totally add more cool details to the wedding instead of more NON family members. And to tell the truth, I'm TIRED of his greek stuff and the people. I really don't want them at the wedding. Then he says he was going to get a coworker (in which I can't stand at all!) to announce us when we walk into the reception. WTF? When was it decided that this person was coming? They weren't given an invitation and I really really do not like the way they carry themselves or how they treat people, so they don't need to be at the wedding. My whole plan to have family only in attendance has been shot to hell. So much for having the type of wedding I wanted our families to enjoy amongst themselves. It's more catered towards the groom only at this point and I'm not happy about it.

Alterations...*faint* I had to have hundreds of dollars worth of alterations done because I didn't do them at the store I purchased the dress from. The alterations are making me sad because if I would have known that this designer makes things more difficult for seamstresses, then I would have stopped my obsession with the designer's line of dresses and went with a regular gown that has little to no maintenance.

Vent 02/13/2007:

I haven't been to the salon in 2 years because I have had bad experiences after my regular stylist moved up the ladder and stopped doing hair. So, I decided to get my hair done at a nice black owned shop in Houston to see if I want to use their services for doing my hair the day of the wedding. Um, well, why did a relaxer and trim cost me $120?!!! What in the world? She said it is because my hair was longer than 12 inches and she had to deep condition it after the relaxer. This is just stupid. I'm not sure I want to use them for the wedding, but I'm running out of options...at the same time, it seems they will run through my pocket with their over-charging selves....

[quote="SeptBride"]Classy, what designer's dress did you purchase?
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I purchased a Reem Acra gown early last year. I haven't taken pictures in the gown due to it being stored, but I might when I pick it up on the 28th. Here are pictures I found of it on the internet:

[IMG]http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5db06b3127cce918c56a4c46f00000016108AaNWrJq5buA[/IMG]

[IMG]http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b6d731b3127cce8c95b303fe2300000015108AaNWrJq5buA[/IMG]

[IMG]http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5db06b3127cce918c56a8c46300000016108AaNWrJq5buA[/IMG]

[IMG]http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5db06b3127cce918c56a9455200000016108AaNWrJq5buA[/IMG]

[IMG]http://www.liweddings.com/mywedding/album/i/43183.jpg[/IMG]

Lots of tiny beading and custom hems that are annoying for non SAKS/Neiman Marcus seamstresses. I can't find a "side view" image of the beading down the side of the dress.

Vent 02/15/2007

I knew this would happen. FH made it a BIG deal to let him handle some of the things for the wedding because I seemed stressed. Okay. I did - but not happily because I know when I do things, then they are done and done right...but whatever...he wouldn't mess up with the wedding like he does stuff around the house, would he? YES! How come there is no photographer or video or anything he wanted to take charge of? The friends he originally appointed to do it, he doesn't want to use them anymore. UM...HELLO! We have how long to the wedding and you're changing your mind? Are you ill, FH?
*faint*
If I would have secured these vendors myself like I did the flowers, the facility, and everything else, then this wouldn't have happened.
*faint*

[quote="housewife147"]Your dress is beautiful.
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Thanks! Hoping to pass it on to another bride-2-be soon as possible after the wedding.

[quote="springbride360"]Love, Love, LOVE, your gown! I'm sure you are stunning in it!
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Thank you so very much for the vote of confidence. I was having a chat with my ab muscles and triceps today...telling them I was disappointed with them and they need to get their act together ASAP!

[quote="Bumblebeekee"]Classy, your dress is beautiful! Also, is he sitting in on the meetings with you and the coordinator? One thing I did was practically drag him to the meetings (except 1) I had with the coordinator so that he can get a sense of urgency about what needs to be done. Getting a photographer and videographer are time-sensitive things that need to be done immediately. I suggest getting some quotes and seeing what he says about each choice. Then give them HIS number so that HE will be the person to contact-therefore putting it in HIS hands. Men are just slow and don't see the need to have something or do something until a lack persists. Don't stop badgering him too-in a nice way, because all that matters is that something gets done....don't forget to keep talking about the budget and the need to know how much you will have to spend.

My FH took his time getting vendors and then complained that he didn't know for a while how much we were gonna be spending...I told him if he had done his job-he'd have some peace of mind by now...but we're past that part.
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Thanks a lot Bumblebee. It is just so stressful. I found a photographer and set up a meeting with him. It took me 2 hours of calling folks to find someone open in March. Most everyone is booked wayyyy in advance like you said, it's time sensitive. FH went away for the weekend and came back only to say he didn't like the photographer's work at all and he'd rather go with someone else. Oh brudda! Beggers can't be choosers. However, he supposedly found someone.

[quote="MsBoston"]Classy- Classy. Very. The detailing is really outrageous, and it really makes the dress. Go 'head then. Can't wait till you post your wedding pics with YOU in the gown!
next to Bumble, your up next!
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Thanks! Bumblebee is first. Can't wait to see her photos. I'm just trying to get through this week with out turning into Michael Myers.

[quote="ClassyCounselor"]Classy, your dress is beautiful! Also, is he sitting in on the meetings with you and the coordinator? One thing I did was practically drag him to the meetings (except 1) I had with the coordinator so that he can get a sense of urgency about what needs to be done. Getting a photographer and videographer are time-sensitive things that need to be done immediately. I suggest getting some quotes and seeing what he says about each choice. Then give them HIS number so that HE will be the person to contact-therefore putting it in HIS hands. Men are just slow and don't see the need to have something or do something until a lack persists. Don't stop badgering him too-in a nice way, because all that matters is that something gets done....don't forget to keep talking about the budget and the need to know how much you will have to spend.

My FH took his time getting vendors and then complained that he didn't know for a while how much we were gonna be spending...I told him if he had done his job-he'd have some peace of mind by now...but we're past that part.

Thanks a lot Bumblebee. It is just so stressful. I found a photographer and set up a meeting with him. It took me 2 hours of calling folks to find someone open in March. Most everyone is booked wayyyy in advance like you said, it's time sensitive. FH went away for the weekend and came back only to say he didn't like the photographer's work at all and he'd rather go with someone else. Oh brudda! Beggers can't be choosers. However, he supposedly found someone.
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ETA: i have my coordinator and her assistant really busy finding out how to not get the rocks, dirt, and grass all over my dress as well as the platform, arch, and reception drama with having the people who are actually invited eating the food paid for. We're having a really bad time with this issue, the facility, and rude people who want to make things hard for us.

[b] DRAMA! [/b]

A lot of people are now coming up and confronting FH about not being invited. He is stressed, upset, and has turned into a complete groomzilla towards the wedding as a result. I am not only angry with those people, but I feel angry towards FH

[quote="Musikana"]This may be dense, but what does ETA mean?
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Edited to add. ;o)

[quote="Bumblebeekee"] DRAMA!

A lot of people are now coming up and confronting FH about not being invited. He is stressed, upset, and has turned into a complete groomzilla towards the wedding as a result.

I am still giggling at Classy calling her fiance "groomzilla".
Its so cute!

However Classy, I hope you're not mad at me for making light of your situation.
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I NEED to laugh! Laughing will turn my hands that are in the "strangle someone's throat" position into a calm resting state. lol. I have a song for him too, "Groomzilla, he's on fire" (instead of spits fire or however the song goes on the tv show, the groom is ALL the way lit up!)
It's a very ugly thing when a black man becomes a groomzilla.
Testosterone + wedding + zilla - common sense = everyone needs to smile and nod.

Vent for 02/22/07

[b] No she didn't! [/b]

Future mother-in law: I