I was talking to my coworker who is helping to plan her sister's wedding. This is our debate:
She was telling me about a bride who wanted all of her BMs to show up at the bridal shop on a particular day at a particular time. Some BMs did not show up when they were supposed to. So, Bride told the shop owner that if a BM shows up after she (bride) left, to tell BM she can not be in the wedding. (one BM had to work late so that is why she was late.)
Coworker says the shop owner should have told the bride not to do that because everyone can not show up at the same time, because schedules are not the same. And bride needs work around the BMS schedules. I told coworker that maybe the bride should not have gone to that extreme but she has the right to have everyone there when she requires them to be there and if they can't make it then maybe they won't be able to show up for the rehersal, wedding, etc. To make a long story short(er), coworker and I do not agree. What do you think? Should you work around your BMs schedule or should there be set times they need to be there for or both?
I was talking to my coworker who is helping to plan her sister's wedding. This is our debate:
She was telling me about a bride who wanted all of her BMs to show up at the bridal shop on a particular day at a particular time. Some BMs did not show up when they were supposed to. So, Bride told the shop owner that if a BM shows up after she (bride) left, to tell BM she can not be in the wedding. (one BM had to work late so that is why she was late.)
Coworker says the shop owner should have told the bride not to do that because everyone can not show up at the same time, because schedules are not the same. And bride needs work around the BMS schedules. I told coworker that maybe the bride should not have gone to that extreme but she has the right to have everyone there when she requires them to be there and if they can't make it then maybe they won't be able to show up for the rehersal, wedding, etc. To make a long story short(er), coworker and I do not agree. What do you think? Should you work around your BMs schedule or should there be set times they need to be there for or both?
If the BMs agree to be there at a certain time then they should be there. If she knows she's getting off late then she should have called out of courtesy. If the BM's already knew that they would have time conflicts they should have said something up front. Time is of the essence and the bride seems determined to avaoid future aggravations. So I guess I am saying that the BMs need to go according to the time the Bride sets up. If you can't say something up front then too bad.
Being someone with a bad schedule all the time its up to ME to say I can or cannot be somewhere, and not assume everyone is going to make all these considerations just cause I get off late. Even if you see you are running late for a 5:00 PM, then at 4:45 you know you are running late-so find a phone and make a call. Her BM's can use some professionalism. You'd do the same for a meeting with bosses or in business, so why not treat this wedding in a professional manner? Those who are not serious get left behind....I may not have dropped the BM's (kind of extreme)-but some people are not as forgiving-like this bride in question.
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
My thoughts exactly Bee.
I agree...if a time is discussed and agreed upon, then it should be honored. Of course life happens and things come up, but I'm sure if something unexpected occurred and the bm couldn't be there, all that would have probably be needed is a phone call to the bride. Unless the bride was just a total bridezilla, I'm sure she would have understood or at least tried to work with the bm that couldn't get there. For me it would be the whole no show, no call thing, that's just plain disrespectful in ANY circumstance.
I agree with you ladies. But coworker is saying that bride should not schedule appoinments like that for everyone because of schedule conflicts. I told coworker that bride could set two times. Coworker stated she doesn't understand why bride has or wants to be there. I told coworker that bride probably wants to make sure dresses are paid for and alterations are made when they should be so there are no problems when it is time for the wedding. And bride may want to see how BMs look in the dress in case she wants to make changes.
Coworker is going to have problems with her sister's wedding, she is not being a great wedding planner. What's the saying around here? "Bride's day, Bride's way!"
What does she mean why does the bride want to be there? is she retarded? I set a time & date for my BM. I told them last month that their day is in March. No one has a problem. If a problem should arise, my BP is responsible enough to let me know.
Yeah, I don't get that question either, I mean isn't the BRIDE the one getting married....so why shouldn't she want to be there.....ALLLLL-RIGHTY THEN....
I personally think that it is extreme to put someone out of the wedding because they were not able to make it. Now on the same note, it was up to that particular BM to inform everyone of her schedule change. If and only if this particular BM presented ongoing problems -- then I would totally dismiss them. Lastly, I would never tell the bridal shop owner to give a message to a friend/family member who is a member of my bridal party to the effect that they couldn't be in my wedding -- I would tell them myself. I would give them the benefit of the doubt and have a conversation with them -- after all I chose that person for a reason.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
I agree with all of you. Coworker is crazy and she thinks she knows everything. I told her if she wants so tips she should get a magazine or search the web but she doesn't want to cause she knows somebody who knows somebody. I told her I don't know everything but I know a few things cause I am planning my wedding and the Vibrides give me advice! I can't wait to see how this is going to work out.
Keep us posted DW.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Sure will.
[quote="DaughterRhonda"]Keep us posted DW.
[/quote]
Yeah, keep us posted. I'd like to hear how this one pans out.
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
Ok Ya'll coworker is a trip!! This has to be the funniest thing arrangement I have ever seen or heard of!! Coworker is now telling me what kind of dress SHE wants her sister to wear. And how her sister should not wear a white dress cause she had been with and lived with this man for over 10 years! I told her that her sister should wear what she wants to wear. Shoot, I would be a candidate to not wear a white dress: I have two kids and I have been married before. But it's my wedding. I told her that her sister can wear what she wants. Coworker is a TRIP!!! On Friday they went to look at reception site. Coworker came back after lunch and I asked her how was it. She said it was nice but it was too much money. That they can rent a club (hall) and it will be cheaper. I told her that you get what you pay for and her sister deserves to have something nice. She said how they can decorate the hall and make it look nice. I told her it will probably cost more money to do that than if she just goes to the nicer place and won't have to do much decorating. I am telling you, she is a trip. I told her that her sister's wedding is going to be one with the pictures floating around the internet....
lmao - DW. Is there any way you can give her sister a heads up? This girl is sick/envious of her sister or something. Something just ain't right.
DW you are right your coworker is a trip -- she definitely has some issues with her.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Late on the debate but here's my 2 cents: If you ask you BM to be at a certain place at a certain time the VERY LEAST they can do is show up! I've about had it up to my eyeballs with stupid excuses. Listen either you can be in the wedding or not. If you show that you are not up to the task ($ issues/time management issues/attitude issues) then you shpuldn't be in the wedding party. I feel that the bride has the right to cut anyones behind from the line PERIOD!!!
Why should the bride have to chase people down?!? she should have however just told her BM herself that they can't be in it ...don't leave the dirty work to someone else.
BTW your coworker IS trippin' how dare she delegate what color the bride wears? Get a life.
I like you style MsBoston!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Septbride~ I don't know her sister personally, I have met her on a few occasions but who not feel right telling her what coworker is doing.
I have to tell you all, I chuckle a lot during the day. We share an office space together so I hear a lot of craziness. But I listen to her and know what NOT to sound like or what NOT to do. LOL!!!
Hi ladies, I had several meeting with my BM for the wedding. When I ask them to be in it I explained what was expected of them and at that time they could accept or declined. They knew that we would have a few meeting before the wedding. I told them that I would pick a day and time that would work for everyone to meet. I did however have one BM that missed two of my meeting which she knew far in advance and told me for sure that she would make it. She did not show up and did not call she would wait until the next time I saw her to make an excuse and to top it off this was someone who wedding I was in and helped out a whole lot. So I kindly told her that I removed her from the wedding to save me stress later. If she stressing me now she would probably cause stress later. By her not being at the second meeting which was the time to order dresses that messed it up for the other BM because we had to have a certain number of dresses to get a discount price. That why when chooseing someone to be in your wedding make sure it is a true friend you is going to do whatever it takes to make your day happen. Don't pick someone just because they are your cousin, coworker etc. Because as a bride you are going to already cause yourself stress you don't need noone else to add on.
Great advice, KMED!
Born Blessed!
Girl I know, My future sister-in-law is planning her wedding in Tallahassee to my brother all the way from TX, and I agreed to be her BM. I already am kicking myself because I was late sending her the measurements for the dress, and I feel terrible. I know that I am planning my wedding, but I can't get away from the guilt of possibly causing her stress. She is such a sweetie though, and I will make it my duty to have my $$ in on time and all so she can be okay. But I almost forgot for a second how hard it is.....After the wedding things will definitely die down (THANK GOD).
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
my wedding party consists of best man, moh flower girl, jr bride and groom and ring bearer. everyone is moaning aout not being in the wedding blah blah blah. i WILL NOT spend my time with everything i have to do plus going on in my life, (when u people have a day or two i will advise) to run after them regarding my wedding so all headaches have been suspended and i will have a small party at a lavish affair.
How the heck did I miss this post.
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;17;90/st/20080718/e/Two+Hearts+Became+One%21/k/b47e/event.png[/img]