I was wondering do you have to be a member of a chaurch to get married there? I ask becasue I was reading Rhondas church post and it made me realize that I dont have that much time to play around and find a church to have my wedding in. I have a church home but I dont like the setting for a wedding.It is too small, there's no center aisle and the colors are purple and white inside and that would majorly clash with my red and white wedding colors. However my church is building a new church (already in progress,we are actually using our "building fund") but I dont know if it will be ready in time for my wedding, so I really dont want to count on my wedding being at my church.
My Mom and Grandmother's church on the other hand is perfect. The indide has oak benches with a pinkish/mauve color inside. Their church looks more traditional than the storefront type church I attend. The colors wouldn't clash that much all I would have to do is add pink/mauve flowers or something to my wedding colors. When I mentioned to my grandma that I havent picked a church yet she asked if I joined a church closer to my house (my church is about 60 miles away and I cant attend like I could when I living with mom and grandma). Since she (grandmaa) is old fashion I dont know if I should talk to her about possibly having my wedding at their church.I dotn know how she would feel. What do you ladies think?
I was wondering do you have to be a member of a chaurch to get married there? I ask becasue I was reading Rhondas church post and it made me realize that I dont have that much time to play around and find a church to have my wedding in. I have a church home but I dont like the setting for a wedding.It is too small, there's no center aisle and the colors are purple and white inside and that would majorly clash with my red and white wedding colors. However my church is building a new church (already in progress,we are actually using our "building fund") but I dont know if it will be ready in time for my wedding, so I really dont want to count on my wedding being at my church.
My Mom and Grandmother's church on the other hand is perfect. The indide has oak benches with a pinkish/mauve color inside. Their church looks more traditional than the storefront type church I attend. The colors wouldn't clash that much all I would have to do is add pink/mauve flowers or something to my wedding colors. When I mentioned to my grandma that I havent picked a church yet she asked if I joined a church closer to my house (my church is about 60 miles away and I cant attend like I could when I living with mom and grandma). Since she (grandmaa) is old fashion I dont know if I should talk to her about possibly having my wedding at their church.I dotn know how she would feel. What do you ladies think?
Hi Allies, I think it depends on the church. Some churches that I have called require a membership there. I also have a home church and I hadn't considered getting married there because it is in New York, and I can't afford to invite everyone. It's either all or none. I don't want to offend anyone. I have explained to them that we are having a private ceremony with just his family and mine and they are ok with that. Anyway, I am hoping that I can find a church that doesn't require membership. I will keep trying the churches that are in the area, and with God's help I know he will open up a door for me. Also if I was you I would ask Grandma if having your ceremony at her church were possible. I'm sure she would be honored. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Allie,like Rony said,it depends on the church.Some don't require membership but may ask for a small fee.Check it out.Some may have members that are willing to help you.
Born Blessed!
Platinum the church that Marshine recommended for me does not require membership. They do however, ask for a fee. Just ask around Allies and I'm sure you will find one that does not require membership. Good Luck!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
IME - you don't have to be a member of the chuch, but the "fee" is more...Much more (depending on the church) than they charge members.
I'm a married woman as of December 2, 2006.
Delight yourself also in the Lord & He shall give you all the desires of your heart.-Psalm 37:4
[quote="Cinamin1"]IME - you don't have to be a member of the chuch, but the "fee" is more...Much more (depending on the church) than they charge members.
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You are sooooo right -- LOL!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
OK thank you ladies. My mom has just come down to visit me so I will talk to her about it to see what she says first.If she gives me a good response then I will talk to my grandma. As far as the fee I hope it wouldnt be too much. My grandma plays the piano and organ at the church and my mom sings in just about every choir they have so maybe those facts will bring the cost down.....lol...fingers crossed...
[quote="alvinslove"]OK thank you ladies. My mom has just come down to visit me so I will talk to her about it to see what she says first.If she gives me a good response then I will talk to my grandma. As far as the fee I hope it wouldnt be too much. My grandma plays the piano and organ at the church and my mom sings in just about every choir they have so maybe those facts will bring the cost down.....lol...fingers crossed...
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What! Grandma is the church organist and mom sings, girl you already have favor! Good luck!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Yes gyrl. Thats the church my great grand parents raised my grandma in. The pastor and my great grand father were friends for years, he;s just like family. Thats where my grandma first started playing and after about 50 years of doing her own thang she back right where she started. As for my mom she can get a break becasue they want her to sing ALL the time, they always tryna give her a solo. I sure hope that will cut me some slack with the fees, I really could use this.....but I'm letting go and letting God!
[quote="alvinslove"]Yes gyrl. Thats the church my great grand parents raised my grandma in. The pastor and my great grand father were friends for years, he;s just like family. Thats where my grandma first started playing and after about 50 years of doing her own thang she back right where she started. As for my mom she can get a break becasue they want her to sing ALL the time, they always tryna give her a solo. I sure hope that will cut me some slack with the fees, I really could use this.....but I'm letting go and letting God!
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I'm sure you will come back with wonderful news Allies, this is great!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Allies, you are in just claim it! Best wishes
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[quote="PureBliss"]Allies, you are in just claim it! Best wishes
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I agree!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Well I talked to my mom and she said you have to be a member.BUT that I should still talk to my grandma and have her talk to the pastor and board members about it to see if it will be ok. My grandma will probably be the hardest to talk to because like I said she so old school and traditional. My mom said if I was to talk to my grandmam and the maybe go with her to the church with the pastor maybe they will allow it without a membership there and without my arm and leg being taken away. I will be going out to her house to talk to her soon. I just have to make time with my work schedule and make a date to visit. Please keep me in your prayers and I will keep you updated.
I've noticed churches are picky about that kind of stuff. I know this lady- Head of the Usher board, runs the after school care program, every weekend she's setting up events for the church, so she's actively involved. When she got married last November, her church STILL wanted her to pay $1500, just to have her ceremony! Did you know she had to get married at another church? They charged her $200 & she's not even a member. Ms. Lady couldn't even marry at the church where she's a member & spent so much time at! I wonder if it's a 'black' church issue. Because when I consulted my pigmently challenged co-workers, they got married at the churches their parents went to. They weren't members (openly admitted they didn't even go to church) and most of them weren't charged.
I'm a married woman as of December 2, 2006.
Delight yourself also in the Lord & He shall give you all the desires of your heart.-Psalm 37:4
Wow. My cousin got married in the church she belonged to and she was not charged. I honestly believe that it depends on the church. Although I had to pay a fee, it includes the minister's fee, a wedding coordinator, the organist fee, the technical fee, the rehearsal, and marriage counseling. It was worth it for me, because at least on my wedding day I know that I have an organist, the microphones, lightng & all the technical stuff will work, I want things to flow smoothing and with the help of the church's staff my day will go well. I need their help as I am not a member there. Ask some questions -- what does the fee cover?
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
As far as the extras I may not need them all but they will be greatly appretciated. My grandmother and aunts best friend both play the organ and piano. I know plenty of people who will be willing to sing a solo (family), I have my own pastor who will be willing to do the ceramony and the marriage counseling (I will have to see if the residing pastor of the church will allow another pastor to marry us in his church). I have a very strict friend I have been working with to hepl me coordinate the wedding, especially on the big day. She knows what I want and will definately make sure I get everything exactly the way I want it.
Allies you are on your way girl!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
[quote="alvinslove"]Well I talked to my mom and she said you have to be a member.BUT that I should still talk to my grandma and have her talk to the pastor and board members about it to see if it will be ok. My grandma will probably be the hardest to talk to because like I said she so old school and traditional. My mom said if I was to talk to my grandmam and the maybe go with her to the church with the pastor maybe they will allow it without a membership there and without my arm and leg being taken away. [/quote]
This was gonna be my suggestion. You are already a member through your grandma and mom. They are also church elders with a long history with the church and active roles. It really should not be a problem. It would also be more meaningful if the pastor actually had a clue about your family when he marries you and your FH!
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Keep us posted Allies!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
In my experience if you are a member of the church your service is free, if you are not a member the preacher may ask for a donation to the church in order to allow you to use their site.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way. ~ Pablo Neruda
[quote="Cinamin1"]I've noticed churches are picky about that kind of stuff. I know this lady- Head of the Usher board, runs the after school care program, every weekend she's setting up events for the church, so she's actively involved. When she got married last November, her church STILL wanted her to pay $1500, just to have her ceremony! Did you know she had to get married at another church? They charged her $200 & she's not even a member. Ms. Lady couldn't even marry at the church where she's a member & spent so much time at! I wonder if it's a 'black' church issue. Because when I consulted my pigmently challenged co-workers, they got married at the churches their parents went to. They weren't members (openly admitted they didn't even go to church) and most of them weren't charged.
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Now,that's a shame."Ms. Lady" shouldn't have to go to another church to get married.She is so actively involved with so many activities in the church.You would think that the church wouldn't charge her.Also,$1500 is very steep.I don't blame her,I would have gone elsewhere for my ceremony too.
Born Blessed!
1500!?!? your own church?!?! what kinda madness...
My FH is Catholic, Catholic Church mos def charges, and you can't say your own vows, sooooo we won't be getting married in the catholic church. And since he is Catholic and not having a sacramental Catholic wedding the catholic church will consider our marriage not valid.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way. ~ Pablo Neruda
UPDATE!
I was finally able to go out to L.A and talk with my grandmother about the church and.......................she was excited and honored that I chose to do it at her church. She talked to someone there who said it shouldnt be a problem to have it there since she and my mom are members and she practically family with the pastor. All I have to do is meet with my grandmother and the board to see if there will be a charge and them plan from there.She also told me to make sure my date was open on the church calender and if Its taken they may be able to change their plans.I talked to FH about it and he's happy and cant wait to have the meeting. She was told that 2 peole on the board may want to charge me but it wouldnt be much depending on how long I want the church and the hall for the reception(if I decide to have one. Really I just want a desert reception). I am so excited about all of this. I have been praying for answers and now I am finally getting some.I will let you ladies know what happens after the meeting.
Congrats on securing a church site! See how God works? He definitely will give you your heart's desire....all you have to do is ask!
This is very good news....keep us posted Alvinslove...
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
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[quote="FutureMsLee"]1500!?!? your own church?!?! what kinda madness...
My FH is Catholic, Catholic Church mos def charges, and you can't say your own vows, sooooo we won't be getting married in the catholic church. And since he is Catholic and not having a sacramental Catholic wedding the catholic church will consider our marriage not valid.
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Wow. That's deep.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Awesome news Allies! Things are finally shaping up for you. I'm sure that the church meeting will go fine, and I pray that they won't charge you anything. In any event, you big day will be here before you know it!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
I know Rhonda I have a little over 8 months and it seems like time is going so fast! As far as the meeting goes, we were told that 2 of the board members can be really snobby and charge me. I am really not worried too much about that tho because God has provided this and he will make a way for everything else. He knows my hearts desires! I will just let go and let God as my mom always says.
[quote="alvinslove"]I know Rhonda I have a little over 8 months and it seems like time is going so fast! As far as the meeting goes, we were told that 2 of the board members can be really snobby and charge me. I am really not worried too much about that tho because God has provided this and he will make a way for everything else. He knows my hearts desires! I will just let go and let God as my mom always says.
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The best hands for anything to be in is in God's hands, so just put it there and watch Him move. If you remember on an earlier post, I told you that God would provide, and girl he has given you favor from the beginning!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Yes he has.
Great for you Allies! God is always working things out for us!
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Amen PB&J!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
good luck sweetheart i'm crossing my fingers for them to not charge you particularly since your mom & grandma are members.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way. ~ Pablo Neruda