Hi ladies, for those of you who missed my into, I am new here and in my first post I told you that my husband and I are renewing our vows ( after going through a really rough time). I also mentioned some drama. Well here it is..... I really don't have the closest of relationships with my mother ( always a daddy's girl) anyway she has not always been supportive of me and my siblings. However, I resolved a long tome ago that, that's just the way she is so I love just the same. Well she has been talking about us behind our backs for wanting to have a wedding this time around, neve mind that I have not asked her for one dime!!! She still has something to say. She has not gone to one appt with me not even to the bridal shop and does not even know what my dress looks like! I am not angry at her but her actions have been extremely hurtful to me. I just want her to show up and be my mom for once. I don't think that's too much to ask. I wish that were the only drama, my sister and self appointed maid of honor ( that's right self appointed) is doing absolutley nothing as far as the planning is going. I am going to tell her that I love her and want her in the wedding but I have to get a maid of honor that can really help out. I just thank GOD that I have been blessed with the amazing man that is my husband because he listens to my vents and is as involved in the planning as I am. He says that if they want to act a fool let them and they can just be guests in stead of participants. I know where he is coming from but, I am really upset because I am the type of person that if I call you friend or family I am there whenever you need me. This is really the first time I have asked people to be there for me and not even financially and they can't even do that!!! Please tell me if any of you think I am being over-reacting. Why do weddings bring out the worst in families?
Hi ladies, for those of you who missed my into, I am new here and in my first post I told you that my husband and I are renewing our vows ( after going through a really rough time). I also mentioned some drama. Well here it is..... I really don't have the closest of relationships with my mother ( always a daddy's girl) anyway she has not always been supportive of me and my siblings. However, I resolved a long tome ago that, that's just the way she is so I love just the same. Well she has been talking about us behind our backs for wanting to have a wedding this time around, neve mind that I have not asked her for one dime!!! She still has something to say. She has not gone to one appt with me not even to the bridal shop and does not even know what my dress looks like! I am not angry at her but her actions have been extremely hurtful to me. I just want her to show up and be my mom for once. I don't think that's too much to ask. I wish that were the only drama, my sister and self appointed maid of honor ( that's right self appointed) is doing absolutley nothing as far as the planning is going. I am going to tell her that I love her and want her in the wedding but I have to get a maid of honor that can really help out. I just thank GOD that I have been blessed with the amazing man that is my husband because he listens to my vents and is as involved in the planning as I am. He says that if they want to act a fool let them and they can just be guests in stead of participants. I know where he is coming from but, I am really upset because I am the type of person that if I call you friend or family I am there whenever you need me. This is really the first time I have asked people to be there for me and not even financially and they can't even do that!!! Please tell me if any of you think I am being over-reacting. Why do weddings bring out the worst in families?
Check out our wedding photos. www.collages.net Username: Laney
Password:3431
I don't know WHY families CUT-UP when weddings come around. My mom gave me all the reasons in the world as to why I need to wait until I'm some far off age to get married and instead move home with er after I graduate and that my FH is a good man but not good enough for me and yadayadayada. I had to sit her down but I know she isn't the biggest fan of marriage sincer hers went south, so she was just protecting me in her twisted way. Yet, I still had to straighten her out because I reminded her that she needed to check her faith in God and his ability to protect me and my FH from harm. Yes things won't be perfect, but I also reminded her that she did agood job raising me and I remembered her teachings.
I think its a mix of jealousy, intrigue, envy, and just Satan infesting people's mind with mess. I think that for the first 1-2 months you will get all the comments about what you should and should not do, what you shold and should not spend, wear, invite, colors, eat, everything! Be firm in your decisions! Whoever is tripping after that needs to be given a stern talking to. Stern...not cussed out....As we sometimes would like to do.
I think envy is probably the biggest thing. People are in one respect happy for you, but for the ones who are not married, your single family and friends, they can't be 100% happy for you because they think that they deserve it more. I mean when my pastor asked all the married and engaged couples to stand because as a young church, he was happy so see families being built, when I stood up because I was the latest engaged person...boy heads flew! I got looks like crazy like they couldn't believe little simple Kiki was moving on! These were women I cared, for...my feelings were not hurt, because I know that they all are somewhat eager to be married too. Its just the nature of these things.....
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
I would not worry about the reactions of my family, friends, or any of the people I encounter on the daily basis. My father and my fh never said two words to each other because my father is mad that he got me pregnant when I was 18( 27 now). We have been through alot in the years that we have been togethor, we have had our share of up's and downs, and downs, and downs(LOL), but no matter what we have been through he has always taken care of our children. When it was time to annouce that we was getting married I was nervous to tell my father knowing what his reaction would be. I then came to realize that this is the person I love and who loves me. I can not live my life for others. I told my father that I loved him and would be honored to have him walk me down the aisle, but if he felt he could not do it or was going to continue to have a grudge or attitude, then he should just stay home, and I would have my brother walk me down the aisle. He told me that he realize that he could not choose who I love and that he wouldnt miss my wedding for the world. If I would have kept worrying about what my father thought and what other people thought I would be single right now. There comes a time in your life when you have to realize that you are grown, and fully capable of making decisions, and everyone's opinion doesnt matter.
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;17;90/st/20080718/e/Two+Hearts+Became+One%21/k/b47e/event.png[/img]
Amen House!
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
Thanks, ladies for listening and for giving me some really good advice. I know that everything you ladies say is true. Because we have been together 14 years and have 3 children and have faced everything together. Still it just makes me mad and sad at the same time. I guess the old saying is true " You can't change people".
Check out our wedding photos. www.collages.net Username: Laney
Password:3431
My day, my day, my way. If you want to renow your vows and have the wedding of your dreams do it. As fas as your sister goes. You should have never let her appoint herself MOH. My sister tried the same thing. I shut her down and she got over it. Do what makes you happy. If you want a dozen rare roses flown in from France. Get them.
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;10723;56/st/20080903/e/Happiness+Returned/dt/-1/k/6fc2/event.png[/img]
[/url]
Thank you my sister, thank you. Yall know what? I feel a bridezilla moment coming on. I think I will have me a good old fashioned hissy fit and when I am done everybody can get in line or get out of my way! By the way i called my sister a little while ago and very gently told her that I love her but she has so much going on that I don't feel "right" placing all of the moh responsibilities on her. She was ok with it and said that she probably would do better as a regular bridesmaid anyway and we laughed about it. She said that she was excited and got carried away and did not realize that "work" would be involved. All I could do was laugh and laugh, she has no idea....... Anyway, I am off to get everybody else in divine order. i let yall know what happens. It's bound to be intersting.
Check out our wedding photos. www.collages.net Username: Laney
Password:3431
Good going Georgiagurl stay strong.
All of the ladies gave excellent advice. Housewife definitely hit it on the head! Do you girl, and live your life for yourself. You can't please everyone, even if you tried.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
georgia, remember that you can make little postcards with all the duties of a MOH, Matron of Honor, BMs and then there can be something for you FH's party too. Then you can have a sit down with potential party members (you and FH) and then you can discuss duties. Those who are ABLE, and THEN Willing...not the other way around, should have more discussions with you with they CAN and CANNOT do. Emphasize that they may not be able to do ALL on that list but they need to be able to manage about 75% of that stuff (i.e. taking the lead and working with your wedding planner, etc) and the rest can be dispersed among you and your bridesmaids. My MOH is my little sister who is 19 with no experience, but she has the help of my Matron of honor who is 26 and has been married for almost 3 years now. They are both working with my coordinator, AND I will be helping out too. I know I had a good team because they both have my personal interests in mind and are not thinking of themselves...which is what you really need. I was very liberal on their style of dress but thats it. If you have people wanting to be in the spotlight, then its a no.
All will be well since your sister is falling in line. Also, she may end up being your biggest help. She for instance can work hand in hand with your chosen MOH and or MAtron of Honor, or you can have 2 MOH....whatever you like. But always stay in charge.
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
[quote="Bumblebeekee"] Those who are ABLE, and THEN Willing...not the other way around, should have more discussions with you with they CAN and CANNOT do.
[/quote]
Bumble now you are preaching girl!!!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Amen to all of the comments! Georgiagurl, I told you these sistas were wise! I have you beat, I've been with FH for almost 19 years, and have 3 children also! I wish I could figure out how to post my "Save The Date" picture, because at the bottom it says, "It's Our Time", and it truly is. After all the trials and tribulations we've been through, I'm doing this thing the way I want to do it. My "friends" can be happy for me and get on the bandwagon and help, or they can move aside and let me find someone that is "ABLE, then WILLING!"
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;10103;0/st/20070526/e/Our+Wedding+Day%21%21%21/k/4505/event.png[/img]
[/url]
Hey ladies, well this morning my husband realised that I was upset and stressed by my family and their antics. So, we started to make some phone calls and he did not let me say one word. He bluntly asked people if they could do what was being asked of them and if not them there would be no hard feelings. Can I just say that I love this man. He got my back, no matter what. Anyway, we only have to replace one bridesmaid and we gained two ushers. (not bad huh?) We are now planning to have an informal dinner party here at the house for the wedding party. My husband thinks it's a good idea to do this NOW. I am just sitting back and letting bigdaddy take charge (lol lol lol). I am glad that he is as supportive and loving as he is, otherwise i don't know what I would do sometimes.......
Check out our wedding photos. www.collages.net Username: Laney
Password:3431
What a blessing Georgialgurl you have yourself a good man! Jayreebrat, girl that's right it's your time girl do your thing!!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
georgiagurl I am glad everything is working out...You know your man loves you AND really knows you when he can pick you up in the spirit and then work things out for you to help his wife feel better. Keep us updated as to how things unfold. We are always here for you.
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
I second that, the sistahood has your back darlin'!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37