Few short jokes

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and

Neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,

The husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be

So stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home

And were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife
to
wake him

At 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a
piece of paper,

"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he
had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his
wife
hadn't wakened him,

when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

Obedient Wife

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife, "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."

And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died.

He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.

When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!"

She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.

So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband."

The loyal wife replied "Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?"

"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a check. If he can cash it, he can spend it."

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft
before the masterpiece.

[quote="CharlotteModebe"]I noticed after some cards were pulled this week you seem to be on fire...watch it nah!
[/quote]

Seem to be on fire with what? I don't understand. I don't see a difference with me from today than any other day.

Okay, now what in the heck is so funny. Don't let me be in the dark. Speak up somebody!!!!