Help!! I don't want to offend anyone

Hey ladies, I am not new to the board, I've been gone for a while. So let me bring you all up to date.  I am a bride over 35 and my FI and I planned to be married 10/25/08 in Ocho Rios, JA. We had to postpone our wedding due to my mother's lung cancer, She is much better now  GOD IS AWESOME!!! We took out wedding budget to help with my mother with her expenses. Then we ran into a problem with our mortagae rates,we couldn't get refianced due to the mortagage crisises.  But everything has worked out. So now we are getting married May 2009 in a civil ceremony with just our family. For our honeymoon we are going on a 7 day cruise.YAHOO!!!  But we would like to have a celebration dinner. We have found a nice resturant with a private room and cash bar. The room will only hold 80 people. So here is the problem, we can't afford to pay for our guests.  How do we word a invitation/announcement and let our guest know that they wll be responsible for their own meal . I have a menu with the dinner choices but I would need to have a head count to let the resturant know how many people to expect. Do I need to do a RSVP?  We are not looking for wedding gifts. For us this would be a time to celebrate and to have fun with our family and friends.  Please help a sister out I don't want to offend anyone by asking them to pay for their own dinner.

I've started a topic like this before where I found a blog with a bride that had 60 guests paying their own way.
[url=http://offbeatbride.com/2007/10/marie-eves-fun-not-perfect-quebec-wedding#referrer]http://offbeatbride.com/2007/10/marie-eves-fun-not-perfect-quebec-wedding#referrer[/url]
This is what she included in her invites:
[i]A diner will follow, for which a contribution of …$ per person is requested (see joined menu); of course, that will make your presence our most precious gift"[/i]
She even spoke to people face-to-face about it. Maybe that would soften the blow. Of course, I wouldn't mention your honeymoon plans. That might cause resentment.
Personally, I would find some other way (barbeque at my house) before I would do this out of fear of offending people. But if someone I love had asked me, I wouldn't mind as long as they picked a reasonably priced restaurant. However, as you may know, there are plenty of people who would look down on this greatly in the name of etiquette no matter what you do.

Why have a reception at all? It is not necessary. They are not guests if asked to pay for their meal. Some ettiquette books are even horrified by cash bars.You can have a small gathering immediately after the ceremony if you feel you have to and just serve wedding cake and soft drinks. No one will be offended and you won't break ettiquette rules. You could also offer mini cakes in little gift boxes to each guest as they leave the ceremony thanking them for sharing your special day.
[img]http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n145/aussiejoe_2006/ivory-lustre-and-pearl-mini-cakes-b.jpg[/img]

That's a nice photo, Rosie. I love that idea!

Thanks for the advice and the website.  You all have some good suggestions. I will need to make a decision before May 2009.

I agree,
They are not really guests if they are paying. If you cannot afford to have them there, then look at the budget and see what you can pay. I recently went to a wedding where the couple had light refreshments at the church's adjoining fellowship hall, and then have some nice decorations with those cute paper lanterns, and some inexpensive bud vases with a couple of silk rose petals, and then for food they had a couple of tables with meatballs, snack quiches, wings, fruits, sweets, and a very very delicious punch in a fountain. I don't even think it was a money issue cause her husband makes pretty good money, I think because her family was very very conservative, they had no dancing music, no alcohol, and that minimized the expectation of a "party atmosphere" but still allowed the couple to provide the guests with a light meal.
I think it was done elegantly, and for favors they had candy, and birdseed wrapped pretty for the guests to throw on the couple as they left.
 
Trust me, with some creativity, and a drive to put in the time, you can stretch your money and make it count!

After my sisters small family/close friends wedding, we went to a restaurant (Chinese restaurant with a banquet area). The invitation for the 'reception" read something like: Please join us after the ceremony at ViBride's Chinese Restaurant.
                            1111 Bride Street
                             Somewhere, USA
                      The buffet price is $8.99
This let people know that they would be paying for their meal. They should RSVP so you can make sure there is enough tables. She was allowed to bring a cake to serve.