HELP! I'm Stressing

So we set the date for April 30 of next year, thats right 2005. We decided it was better since I'm graduating from college this May and then have to move from CA to South Dakota where my finacee is currently working. Wow, big change.

So we got engaged (officially) on christmas eve, and we managed to make really cute announcements using a print program. We are currently working on the guest list which looks like 150-200 ppl. Big families.

I have my dress, i bought it from eBay, got a great deal. I picked out the bridesmaids dresses, have to be ordered by May since its a special dress that won't be available after summer. Bridesmaids are complaining that its too early to get their dresses...sheesh. I have 7 bridesmaid by the way.
(No we are not rich, we just have big families and lots of friends)

I'm stressing, girls! I realize I have more than a year to go, but I'm freaking out, is this normal? My Fiancee and I already got into two arguments about flowers and guests and its turning out to be more of a stress than I migined.
I am so lost and i am so affraid of spending so much money but I don't have the time or means to make all my invites, besides for that many ppl its actualy turning out to be cheaper to order them...

Ok, so I'm really freaking out here, please if any one has any siggestions I'd grealty appreciate it...what should be my first step?

Thanks

I was in your same shoes a year ago!! We have been engaged for 2 years...not because we didn't want to get married ASAP...just for the simple fact that I am in college so it had to be during the summer time and we wanted to save up some money so that we could have a beautiful wedding!!

I tried "planning" the wedding over a year's time but that just wasn't possible for me...I knew the girls wouldn't be up to buying their dresses that early...all of us wanted to loose a little weight...plus what happens if you and one of your BM get into a fight?? stop talking?? they can't afford the dresses??

I asked my MOH to do me the honor as soon as I got engaged. Starting about a month ago, she stopped returning my phone calls!! I was totally stressing!! I didn't know what to do. So finally I decided that if she didn't return my next call she was out. I hate to be mean but it's less than 5 months before the wedding and NOW is the time the girls really need to order dresses and if she won't call me back what else was I supposed to do?? So I asked one of my other close friends to be my MOH and the girl who was going to do my guest book to be a BM. Everything is better now....

But just put yourself in my shoes...what if your girls order the dresses and then one of them drops out. Can you get the same dress for a new girl?? It's hard to face that and I really didn't want to think that my best friend would do that to me....but she did!!!

Good luck!!

It is too early to get the dresses. People gain and lose weight all the time. There are so many other things you should be working on like the reception, getting everything set up fopr the big day, etc.

I'm sorry that you're so overwhelmed. I don't see anything wrong with ordering your BMs dresses in May- actually, I commend you. Your bridal party has plenty of time to budget, and if they lose/gain weight, they can get it altered. I'm a firm believer in planning ahead. My wedding is in August, and all of my major vendors were selected and bound under contract LAST YEAR. As we all know, sought after vendors book quickly. Planning a wedding is probably one of the most stressful, exhilarating events that one ever will encounter- hopefully only once. Your greatest commodity is yourself, so run it(i.e your wedding) like a business! There's plenty of time for adjustments- to your bridal party, selecting other vendors, etc. My advice to you is to enjoy being engaged; take some time out for YOU. Continue to include your fiance in the planning because it's his wedding too and don't sweat the small stuff. Definitely work within the realms of your budget and recruit help if you need to. No one expects you to do it all. There is bound to be someone in either one of your families who would love the opportunity to do something. Hang in there, girl! Keep the faith...God Bless!

Froggy5-

Don't get stressed out yet; that part is little further down the road. It seems like you are starting to make a plan and are just having trouble getting everyone else on board.

1. To control how much money you are spending on your wedding it is extremely important that you create a budget and stick to it. This website has a budget tool that you can use for free. That makes it easier to keep track of where you are money wise.

2. Are are right on track planning your wedding early. Booking early often gets you the best dates and more fexibility with vendors.

3. Invitations costs can add up quickly. If you are very busy and on a budget you might want to consider purchasing invitations from a vendor that offers discounts or even online. Carlson Craft and Regency dealers offer several invitation packages for under $250 dollars.

4. Flowers. Before you and your fiance argue about flowers, there are things to consider. First you should have decided how much you can afford to spend on flowers. Then you should start thinking about the general theme or feel you want to go with for your wedding, from there you can decide on colors. When you know what colors you want start looking on the web, magazines for flowers that you both like. Bring the list/picures of flowers to your florist can she/he can tell you which ones are in season when you are getting married, and which ones are best for your budget.

5. If you are really stressed and worried about not having the wedding of your dreams on your budget, you might want to consider hiring a Wedding Consultant. Many consultants offer packages, and services for brides on a tight budget. They can refer you to vendors that are more likely to give a discount on their services. They also have great ideas on cutting costs, and creating glamourous weddings on a dime.

Hope this helps

Hey Froggy5,

You mentioned you and your fiance fighting over flowers and guests. That is just the beginning of your disagreements and spats as far as wedding planning is concerned. Remember through it all that you are getting married because of the love you have for each other. Don't let the arguments get the better of you, finances cause great burdens when it comes to planning a wedding. You both have large families, call close relatives, let them help out financially where possible. Once everyone comes together to help you, it will ease the pressure of you having to pay for everything and strangely enough it will also ease the frustration that leads to the constant arguments with your fiance during the long preparations. Not everyone may be able to offer financial assistance however they can provide labour. You mentioned not being able to make all the invites yourself. Why would you want to do that?? Call friends,relatives, bridesmaids etc. Organize times you can get together and let them help you make the things you need if it proves to be more cost effective. Assign tasks, the more help you have the less stress you have. I recruited my bridesmaids, friends and family to assist in making decorations, running errands etc. I got family to pay for different things eg. my cake, limo, favors etc. I didn't think I would get help but one of my cousins who is getting married in November said 'if you don't ask you will never know'and she was right. Family members who I thought wouldn't come through for me did. The most you can get is no. If so move on. You cannot do everything yourself. It isn't mentally or physically possible. Another thing, don't spend on the wedding and sacrifice your honeymoon. After all is said and done you and your husband NEED to have a great honeymoon.

Good luck and have fun planning.