HELPPPPPPPPPP!!!!

Abeni,

I will pray for you and this situation...
I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. You really have to take a minute and think about what you want to do. I agree with what the Pastor's wife said, dont put the blame on yourself.

If you feel the need to take time apart, so that you can get your head/heart straight, do it now...as much as it may hurt to do it, it would be best to deal with the fear now than later. I wish you all the best

Abeni, I also agree with the pastor's wife-don't blame yourself. This is the time when you really need to make the decision to do what's right for you. I understand it may be hard but GOD will see you through it all!! He will not put more on you than you can bear so continue to pray and ask for strength and guidance and I will pray for you as well, stay strong!

Abeni, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have learned over the years to place all my faith the God and to believe that he will guide me through all of my fears even though I may not want to walk the path. I understand what you're going through, even though, my situation with my ex was somewhat different. The ladies here had my back though, all over, they prayed with me and even threaten to board a plane with sneakes and vaseline (hahaha, to put a light spin on things) and after my breakup with my exfiance, I gave it all to God. I hurt so very badly that I thought I would die and without searching, without even wanting to, God chose someone for me that only he could've done. This man is the epitomy of the word "Love".

Now, I would take your pastor's wife's advice in not blame yourself for this, but be honest with yourself and pray about your feelings. Ask God to honestly show you the way and in the meantime, have a open and honest talk with your FH.

What's going on Abeni, is it that you never loved him or you've fallen out of love for him? What happened sister? The only thing to remember is not to be in love with the wedding plans and forget that you're dealing with real emotions though. It's not that you lead him on, it's just that you probably didn't really realize how you felt until you were about to mail the newsletter. But I believe that you should be honest with the man and tell him that you're having doubts about the wedding. Tell him that you feel that you both need to pray more and grow more spiritually. That you're not breaking up with him, but you do need to take a break from everything and work on the spiritual aspects of your relationship. Reassure him that he's your ideal man but you truly feel that you're overwhelmed.

I will pray for you sister.

HeCallsMeAbeni, I will definitely pray for you. I will also say that it is NORMAL to have mixed emotions going on inside of you before you get married. My husband went through fear, panic, anxiety, etc. I also experienced some fear & anxiety. Sometimes taking a big step such as marriage along with the stress of planning can bring forth these emotions.

No one knows you better than you do. You search your heart and continue to pray and you will find the answers that you seek. I wish you the best Abeni. God bless.

[quote="HeCallsMeAbeni"]I went to send out the bridesmaid newsletter and was over come with a sense of fear, dread, anxiety....I went a prayed about it and the Lord said wait.

I promptly freaked out. I told FI about it and he was dissapointed but said lets watch and pray. This was a wednesday.

By Sunday I was breaking down in tears and battling thoughts of breaking up with him. I mean I broke down in church...In adult sunday school and couldn't stop crying.

Monday. His pastors wife told me that she feels I don't love him enough to marry him and and feel guilty about not wanting to marry him that's why I'm feeling the way I do. And suggested that we take some time apart or break up with him.

When she said that it was like it made sense to me and though it sounded good. I was flung into instant turmoil. I tried to two nights ago and I just couldn't do it. I cried all day and all night for two days straight. I stopped eating.

Fi is williing to help me work through this. We haven't broken up. Right now I feel torn lots of ways. I feel overcome with guilt this morning that later turned to fear..

Please pray for me ladies. Please...Please..

He has done nothing for me to want to break up with him. He's never hurt me. He doesn't talk bad to me. He treats me like a queen. I don't understand why I feel I have to do this and though I vaugely thought about it durring the planning stages i never thought I'd actually do it....

HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!
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I hate to play devil's advocate here but...you being a woman in the word know that alot of times the things that we think are from God can sometimes be from Satan because he knows just how and when to attempt to get into our spirit...considering you were feeling fear and anxiety already, that gave Satan an opportunity to step right in and initiate his plan...one of the things that Satan hates is for God's children to be righteous and obedient...Satan knows that marriage will increase the strength of the family unit which is ordained by God...I am praying for you and that you truly seek God's guidance in this situation because he is the only one that knows his will for you, not man...

%100 agree with all of the ladies and your First Lady's advice. DO NOT put blame on either you or him. Sometimes it just happens like that. It's better to take the time you need to sort yourself and your relationship out now then, spend all the money, time, emotions into planning a wedding, going through with it, then a few years down the line realizing you might have made a mistake. Marriage is *supposed* to be forever, so taking a break now could save a WHOLE lot of heart break later. Don't get me wrong, this will NOT be easy to do, but there is absolutely NOTHING to hard for God. So continue praying to Him, we will continue praying for you, for your peace, for your strength, for you FH, for both families.

i agree with daughter rhonda . that is a very normal feeling for most of the soon to be married couples , i go through that my self sometimes but one thing im sure of is dat i love him dealry i just have mixed emotions about the marriage thing .. all i can say to u is keep praying to god for guidance if he brought u to it he will definately bring u through it sis . and yall shud as well consider some pre marital counceling thats a very important thing to do before the wedding actually .me and fh will soon start with ours next month . wishing u all the best

[quote="soon2bmsj"]
I hate to play devil's advocate here but...you being a woman in the word know that alot of times the things that we think are from God can sometimes be from Satan because he knows just how and when to attempt to get into our spirit...considering you were feeling fear and anxiety already, that gave Satan an opportunity to step right in and initiate his plan...one of the things that Satan hates is for God's children to be righteous and obedient...Satan knows that marriage will increase the strength of the family unit which is ordained by God...I am praying for you and that you truly seek God's guidance in this situation because he is the only one that knows his will for you, not man...
[/quote]

I agree with Soon here!!! The Devil is crafty, and comes exactly at that point when you aren't ready for him! Continue to pray for guidance sis ....

Abeni, I'm soooo happy to hear from you (was wondering where you were) but I'm saddened by what you are going through. This is a hard one. I think you need to take some time, gather your thoughts and talk to FH openly and honestly about what you are feeling. First be honest with yourself. Ask yourself what is it about your relationship that makes you think you want to end it sometimes? Observe the timing of when you feel like ending things. Is it right after an argument, right after talking to someone, etc? Maybe it's God talking to you, and maybe it's Satan's plan. Only you are best to know the difference. If you have any reservations AT ALL, you need to talk to FH about them. You never know, he may be having some also in which case you might want to postpone things.

[quote="kaholgah"]i agree with daughter rhonda . that is a very normal feeling for most of the soon to be married couples , i go through that my self sometimes but one thing im sure of is dat i love him dealry i just have mixed emotions about the marriage thing .. all i can say to u is keep praying to god for guidance if he brought u to it he will definately bring u through it sis . and yall shud as well consider some pre marital counceling thats a very important thing to do before the wedding actually .me and fh will soon start with ours next month . wishing u all the best
[/quote]

YES.....definitely pre-marital counseling also! That is definitely something I think ALL couples should do. Like many have said this could be God, this could be the devil, either way it will take you really REALLY seeking his face and accepting whatever answer he gives you. Someone else said this is not about man, so forget family, friends,forget what people will think etc, etc, this is between you, God, and your FH. Talk to God first, then your FH, maybe both of you can join in pray once you've done it separately. I don't know...but we have your back....

HeCallsMeAbeni,

please do not take my comment out of context...after reading it again, I can see how you might think I was taking a stab at the Pastor's wife, which I was not with the comment about this is God's will for you, not man's will...I would in no way disrespect anyone that is there to provide guidance, but I guess I am looking at reality...there are people that will tell you things or tell you what they would or would not do which is easy to do when they are not walking in your shoes-so just make sure your decision is from the heart which if you truly seek God it will be! :)

p.s. just wanted to clear that up ViBride sistahs---don't want you guys to think by my previous post I am being a VIB**CH! LOL

Sugar is it that you are not ready to get married, you dont love your fh or are not madly in love with your fh, or is it that your are just experiencing stress during your planning process. If you are having any doubts I think you may want to postpone the wedding for a little while. I dont think you should get married if you are not ready

I will be praying for you too Abeni. Not too long ago, I was battling with fear and anxiety too. I couldn't figure out if the Devil was trying to hold me back from receiving my blessing or if it was God telling me "not yet". It got so bad that the Devil had me thinking that my FH was being unfaithful. Eventually, my FH and I came together, prayed together and asked God to show us the way. It wasn't easy and we have postponed the wedding twice, but we took our time and discussed what we felt in our hearts. Since your FH is willing to help you work through this, you should continue to pray together and have faith that God will work it out. I'm praying for you :)

My dear Abeni,

You and I share the distinction of being two of the youngest Vibrides and as your sister in youth, i think this fact maybe clouding your judgment. I was 25 when i got engaged and people constantly warn and lecture me about "marrying young". Most of it is other's projections and people remembering their own struggles at our age. The one thing I have found to be true is that we women in our twenties are still figuring out our identity. We go to bed being so sure and wake up questioning every decision we ever made. Becoming a wife at 35 I think would be less nerve-racking because you lived a little longer and had more time to explore who you are (correct me if i'm wrong ladies). Sometimes I wonder if I am old enough to make such a long lasting commitment and in reality, the odds are not on our side. Do not beat yourself up for having a capricious moment, second-guessing yourself, or feeling guided by the advice of others. Take some time to yourself (i suggest taking walks in nature, yoga, or silent meditation) to remember who you are and refocus your vision for your life. The question I always come back to is... Can I live without him? Do I want to? If I answer yes to BOTH, I know it's time to go.

Finally, men our age are often looking to replace the mother they just left and we fall into that trap because it feels good to care for others. I had to end a 7 year relationship because I outgrew him and i felt soo guilty leaving him behind but I couldn't keep holding myself back to spare his feelings.

Bottomline: Pray, meditate, get out of your head and trust your gut

Excellent advice Muskina.

Pray abeni, pray that the Lord drown out the voice of the devil because he has a hand in all of this. If you and your FH prayed together prior to getting together and all this time, God didn't interfere by saying "No" Why now? I believe one of my sisters said it best. When you pray, the enemy is also listening. God is not the only one listening and he prays on the fact that you're conflicted. Ask God to open your spiritual ears so that you can hear only him. I don't think it's God that doesn't want you to go through with your marriage. It's the devil. You've admitted that this feeling is a result of something negative between your brother and his fiancee. It happened in your house and you didn't pray afterwards to cleanse the presence of the enemi?

The "No" that you heard is not from the Lord sister. It's not!!! It's absolutely normal to have those feeling of anxiety. My sister's anxiety was so bad that on her wedding day, during pictures (prior to her wedding) she regurgitated all over my brother-in-law's shoes as soon as she saw him. Her nerves were so bad and guess what sister, they've been married now for 12 years and have a wonderful marriage. This man worships the grown that my sister walks on and they still act as "newlyweds".

So you see, don't listen to that voice because the enemy is very active. God doesn't destroy, he builds and encourages marriages. How can he send you a wonderful man, whom by your account hasn't really done anything to you, to turn around and disapprove of your marrying him? That's not the God I serve. Tell the devil that he's a liar. Shout it in every corner of your house. I will continue to keep you in my prayers as well.

WOW Abeni I've been reading your post and it seems like to me that your problem is a shallow one. GOD puts people in our lives for a reason some for a season some are like leaves and change with the seasons. Your fi was short when you met him,and you havent said one negative thing about this man. By your own accord said that this man is wonderful to you in every way theres got to be something else, anywho I'll say this I'd rather have a short man who is wonderful to me than a tall one who doesnt know how to treat me. You know what you have you dont know what your gonna get. GOD BLESS you sister.

Nicely said Pebbles!!

You shouldn't get married.

Abeni, I have been following your posts for a long time. And you have serious doubts about this man, first it was his height, then it was about his background (earlier post) his unemployment. You said that people question your choice, it seems like you also question whether he is the one for you. I think that some of the things you have said re: his looks his background etc are crucial. I dont know it just doesnt add up, why are you putting yourself through this?? I mean you can pray all you want, God does have answers, but God helps those who help themselves ( I believe that). At the end of the day it seems this man is the one who is suffering, and he seems to be really supportive through your ups and downs. What happens with your brothers relationship should have no bearing on how you treat your future husband. I dont know but I believe that if you really loved the man you would never ever have belittled his height, his look or his background in the manner that you have. I am also a young bride- well relatively, I turned 26 last month. But that is no excuse. I am being real with you..if you were my friend I would tell it to you the way that I am seeing it. Its not about a wedding, its about a life time together. Its about sharing dreams and raising a family together. You can cop out and say that God is telling you something or you can face up to your own responsibilities and take a stand either way. Maybe its the idea of a fancy wedding or whatever that gets you, maybe its the fact that you genuinely care for this man and dont want him to hurt. Maybe you appreciate that he loves you and treats you like a queen. But as they say marriage is too big a commitment to make for all the wrong reasons. If you really love this man then maybe you should let him go, its wasting your time and his. Your actions and your words are speaking louder than you think..

Hey sweetie, I know it seems harsh but I want you to meditate on some of the things you have said in the past from a fresh perspective and think what made you say them and whether you still feel the same way. Are there any contradictions, or did you say these things at a time when you were frustrated. Basically I firmly believe that this should be one of the happiest times in your life. And frankly, things only get harder in marriage, people do lose jobs, family members do criticise your man or your choices. But its about your foundations, which should be based on mutual respect, and support of one another no matter what the problem. These are some of the posts from your blog

first post very well said dreamgurl second one didnt understand but we cant live for others we have to live for ourselves and what makes us happy. I know others see things that we dont see but Abeni's reasons for her actions are SHALLOW and i think she's lokking for a way out.Is there something else that you want to do Abeni? My husand is shorter than i put I know that his love for me is taller than anything in this world noboby is perfect, and i think the best thing that you could do for this man is to love him enough to let him go. You are both going through these changes and in the end i dont think you still want to marry this man.Only you know the REAL reasons you have for this, how FAIR are you being to him.Do you know how manny woman are dying to have the man that you have.

Dreamgurl I thought you were having a moment but I found what you were speaking of I understand what u typed. The clothes comment another shallow thing I didnt like the way my dh dressed so I started buying him things that i wanted to see him in he went from jeans and tees to button ups

[quote="PEBBLES35"]Dreamgurl I thought you were having a moment but I found what you were speaking of I understand what u typed. The clothes comment another shallow thing I didnt like the way my dh dressed so I started buying him things that i wanted to see him in he went from jeans and tees to button ups
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Maybe I wasnt clear, but the second post are things that Abeni said in previous posts. Yeah I get some of the clothes comments, but what I didnt get was that she was embarassed by his looks and how he doesnt stand up to her previous ideal- i.e. high yellow 6 foot plus etc. We all look broke and raggedy sometimes, but we want to be loved irrespective, through thick and thin. Maybe even through those love goggles. But its not just this that bothered me, its just the repeated comments about how he was lacking in one department or the other...Or it 'seemed' like this was how she was portaying him.

I know dreamgurl i found them of course some of us are fairly new and dont have the whole story me myself i completely understand what your saying and i totally agree with you

I second what dreamgurl has said.

Just because a man loves you and you share the same faith and you feel you "should" marry him and you already said you would, doesn't mean that its what you need to do.

Let GOD lead you, stop thinking about what you and everybody else thinks you should do.

God needs to be your first love and your strongest love. Working on that relationship will help you grow and will help you be better able to discern his voice from the masses.

[quote="IvyPrincess"]
Just because a man loves you and you share the same faith and you feel you "should" marry him and you already said you would, doesn't mean that its what you need to do.
[/quote]

PREACH!PREACH!

Abeni I feel for you my sista. But I must say I agree with Dreamgurl that you've been questioning a whole lotta things as far as your FH is concerned. Maybe deep down you don't wanna get married to him or maybe you're just going through a cloud that will soon clear, only you know the answer to that. My advise is for you to keep praying for God will definitely show you the way. Good luck my sista

I have been trying to hold back on this one but I HAVE to add my 2 cents!

Abeni, these ladies have a valid point.

NO MAN is going to fill in all those blanks that we create (Must look like _____, Must Earn $_______, must have hair like _______, with a ______skin tone, _____ feet _____ inches, and BLAH BLAH BLAH).

I for one went through the same thing, but a lot of my flack came from my mom...She went on about how he didn't make a lot of money, how his parents were buying me things because they wanted to buy my love to him (As if HE was marrying UP, and I had to be bought cause I could do better), and how his often stubborness, and bull-headedness was going to leave me embarrassed poor, simpley because we are not the the fastest track to wealth.

She totally forgot how he was there to put up with my B-S, when I was on an Independent Woman trip, and how spoiled I was because he bought me expensive gifts (totally forgetting that he bought me these things because I KNOWS I AM WORTH IT!), and when I cheated on him early in our relationship because BUMBLE had relationship issues...he decided to stay because yes it was long ago-when we were not quite an item-so he forgave me.....and even more importantly, he SAVES money, has EXCELLENT CREDIT, no he doesn't make A LOT of money, but he has a HEART of gold.....and many more things....

I ended up telling my mother that I KNOW WHAT GOD told me and showed me (she had the nerve to say she PRAYED too, and things didn't work out for her-as if that meant I was doomed too), and despite our problems, we are going to be fine...We BOTH yell at each other, and we BOTH need Jesus (LOL)- but we DECIDED that we were going to CONTINUE to grow TOGETHER in GOD the BEST WE KNOW HOW. I almost LOST my DH because I was not brave enough at the time to accept the good and the bad (just like he did for me), and love him in the same unconditional manner he loved me! It talked A LOT for a person to do that, but it takes TRUE FAITH IN God that HE doesn't make mistakes, but also FAITH IN YOURSELF, to handle such a PRIVLEDGED TASK.

I also said you know what, you must think I am simple, deaf, blind, and desperate if you think I chose the worst man in the world! I told my mom you know what, you need to have more faith in YOURSELF that you raised me right, and FAITH in God that I will be fine, and happy (even though you think God abandoned you and your marriage)!

I told you this before, and I will tell you again....If you decide not to marry this man because you have doubts, then let him go! You may be past the point of post-poning, and cancelling, and planning all over again...This is your lives you are talking about here! Plus he doesn't deserve it....He deserves a woman who will love him for who he is, and will take his mess, cause he is going to take hers....If you are not that woman then fine....Best believe, that God will send him another woman willing to do it...in YOUR place....just like Saul and David.....

What you have to realize is that God isn't going to tell you one date, then come back and tell you a later date. Sometimes we confuse strong EMOTIONS as a word or tugging from God but thats not always the truth....If you got a word earlier, then that was HIS word...Why would HE change his mind? Remember...GOD does not dwell in or near FEAR, or ANXIETY, DREAD, and all these things you were feeling...That is ALL YOU, not GOD....You yourself is the one who wants to wait....

What I learned is that God sends you the man YOU NEED...and for me, it was a man who was going to challenge me....Not in a bad way. He helped me raise the bar for myself a lot higher, and I know I do the same for him....It would be MUCH easier for both me and my DH to find a person we could run over, because we both have strong personalities in our own ways....but we ARE LEARNING to appreciate our differences....For him, its accepting my transition to Natural Hair right now, instead of the long perm I wore for years....But he loves me nontheless...yeah he squinches at my WILD hair in this transition, but he can't keep his hands off me...For me, its learning to LISTEN to him...when its always been my way to out-talk everyone when I need to make a point or express a feeling....(Thats the trained debater in me)....I could say...oh he doesn't love me for who I am in my natural state blah, blah, blah-but that isn't the truth!

The Pastor's wife is RIGHT....Its the old saying (S#$T or get off the pot!)

If you can't handle it, then its okay! It really is...Why get married, and have all these feelings of wanting to leave him....You always will wonder what if, and all these other things....I still have guys trying to court me from the other side of the world, and I do wonder WHAT if? They are taller, understand my humor better, and do whatever I say.....But do I really want that?????

The only reason I can figure why things never worked out between me and these old FRIENDS is that it simply was not meant to be, and if it was, it would have happened by now. Especially when God showed me I'd be married by now and I am.

I think you do need to break up and let him go, and work on your faith. If its meant to be, then it will happen....ZEventhough my doubts were not strong like yours, I chose to marry the man I really did love, but took for granted sometimes, and work on my faith....Well I did do a lot of that in the time we broke up, many months before he proposed. Its important that you are a WHOLE woman when you get married, so so God can pour into a whole, full vessel-its hard to pour blessings into a vessel with holes.....Be blessed, but work on Abeni...You cannot change a man, only God can!

HeCallsMeAbeni,

please don't feel like you are being attacked...one thing you must realize--here on the boards we all are looking out for each other, and just remember anything anything said is merely an opinion...don't allow it to have any bearing on what or how you feel or who you are...because remember it is not WHO you are that matters but WHOSE you are (God's child)...we ALL fall short, so sweetie, hold your head up, keep praying and God will reveal all that is needed in your life! :)

he calls me abeni ure really not being attacked . i think the reason why u feel attacked is all this ladies are telling u what is true not what u need to hear it mite sound harsh but its reality . this is what i wud advise u to do personally , sit down with ure self take a pen and paper list all of the things u like and love about him , and on the other side list all u dont like about him is the likes outweights the dislike then go on marry him he is the one for regardless of his physicall features and other staff u just mentioned and if the dislikes outweights the likes then DONT GET MARRIED !! cos thats when divorce comes ure way , and again . and always remeber the only person that knows u better is u . we mite say many things but u know what u like , want and need . look into ure heart and follow it ....it will never deceive u !!

Abeni,
I apologize if I hurt your feelings...And I am sure parts of you feel like...okay, its easy to talk from the outside looking in, so remember, it all boils down to doing what you feel like you are comfortable with. Whatever your decision, you're not going to be condemned or go to hell for, but you will have to deal with the consequences, as we all do....Many people have opinions, but remember thats what they are....You have to be confident in yourself that you can make the decision you feel God is leading you towards...We just want you to understand some potential consequences.

Its good that you are realizing your feelings, and the need to work on yourself. Its good. But remember, life does not wait on you, and i guess I was trying to relay that to you....But I also want to tell you that there is hope....We all make decisions based on feelings and emotions, and on hope...You can never really guarantee anything-besides that God is real...but other than that, the only guarantees are that THERE ARE NONE! And we are all here because we beleive in the power of love, forgiveness, the privledge, and blessing of the sacred union of Marriage....God's gift to us....Whatever you do, never, ever, let fear conquer you so much to the point that its consumes you to the point of not eating and taking care of yourself....See what the enemy is doing....He hates marriages, and if anything, when its all said and done either you are married, and are happy, or you decide not to, but are still determined to see your dreams through no matter what...

Bumble I agree with your both of your posts! Girl you hit it right on the money.

I'm going to call you Pastor Bumble, cause you ministered girl!!!!!

Abeni, the sistahood is here for you. Some of the ladies give it to you "raw", but they don't mean any harm. In any event I wish you all the best my sister.

[quote="DaughterRhonda"]Bumble I agree with your both of your posts! Girl you hit it right on the money.

I'm going to call you Pastor Bumble, cause you ministered girl!!!!!

Abeni, the sistahood is here for you. Some of the ladies give it to you "raw", but they don't mean any harm. In any event I wish you all the best my sister.
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Rhony you are a trip!

Abeni I can't say that you're NOT being attacked but we're trying to save you from your own wrong turns. I would be doing you a disservice to lie to you about something this important. Vibride is a wedding site but more importantly its about love. Loving yourself, loving your man, and loving your union. If you can't do the first or the second, you can't do the last.

[quote="Musikana"]Vibride is a wedding site but more importantly its about love. Loving yourself, loving your man, and loving your union. If you can't do the first or the second, you can't do the last.
[/quote]

AMEN!!! **hands clapping**

[quote="pamcrow"]Vibride is a wedding site but more importantly its about love. Loving yourself, loving your man, and loving your union. If you can't do the first or the second, you can't do the last.

AMEN!!! **hands clapping**
[/quote]

*** Joining Pam in the AMEN corner*** Clappin my hands...

Abeni, I am sorry if you feel that that you have been attacked. I would have said the same thing to any one of my friend to any of my 5 sisters ranging from 38 to 18 (yes my father was busy) and I wouldnt apologise to them because I love them and they know that I have their best interests at heart.

I guess with a board like this its different, I mean I have been on here for a year, and I feel like I am talking to people I actually KNOW now, so I got comfortable. Some of the girls remember my first dilemna ages ago, and I got TOLD even the things I didnt wanna hear, but thats why I am stuck on this website coz its the TRUTH. These women know, these women care, and most of all these women dont have anything personal against you or anyone on here, its a fellowship. I think Musikana is right, this forum is about love, and thats all I felt when those words came out of me.

I too apologize if you felt like I was attacking you and like the other women have said sometimes wwe ask for help and we dont like all of what we've heard because frankly the truth hurts and when you ask for advice you have to be willing to except it whether we want to or not I dont think anyone here is trying to hurt you or your feeling we may have had these feelings ourselves or know someone who has been through it, yes you are our visister and just because of that doesnt mean we have to agree but we can agree to disagree and if i ever have any kind of dilema i want my sisters to give it to me raw pulling no punches shoot i share things on here i dont share with my own family members thats just how comfortable Iam here, and i think the ladies are not just being fair to you but our vibrothers too. GOD BLESS

Well said PEBBLES!

Im just reading this whole post and I honestly have to say I could not take my eyes of the screen. You ladies really gave great advice and even though she was a little hurt sometimes you just need to go there.

And dreamgurl that was clever of you to put all of Abeni's words in one post like that so everyone can read what she has been saying through out other posts and more importantly so she could read them altogether herself to see how shallow and ungreatful the words she has been saying is. Maybe it will be an eye opener for her.

Abeni we love you here if these ladies did not care they would just leave a one sentence reply and leave it at that, but these ladies went out of their way to leave you long comments to try and halp you with your problem. Check back and let us know how your doing.

Absolutely Abeni, please let us know whats going on! We are rooting for you AND your FH.