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Just when you think....

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daughterrhonda
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Just when you think....

Just when you think that things will be smooth sailing, you are hit with another curve in the road! Long story short, my brother and his wife had temporary custody of my neice and nephew. (A private arrangement that the mother of the children and my sister-in-law agreed to, the authorities were not involved).I asked my sister-in-law if this brother and sister duo could be my ring bearer and flower girl and they agreed. Recently, the children's mother stated that she would be coming to get the children (she was not supposed to get them back until July 2007). She arrived at the airport last Friday and asked my sister-in-law to bring her children, which my sister in law did. For whatever reason, my sister in law didn't believe that she was coming but she did! Now it is 4 months before my wedding and I don't have a ring bearer or flower girl! I just don't know what to do!! I don't have any young neices or nephews that I could ask. FH has a younger nephew, but he is dragging his feet on asking the child's mother. Would you ladies have other alternatives or ideas that we may be able to incorporate at this stage of the game. I am close to tears and don't know what to do. Help!

daughterrhonda
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Just when you think....

Just when you think that things will be smooth sailing, you are hit with another curve in the road! Long story short, my brother and his wife had temporary custody of my neice and nephew. (A private arrangement that the mother of the children and my sister-in-law agreed to, the authorities were not involved).I asked my sister-in-law if this brother and sister duo could be my ring bearer and flower girl and they agreed. Recently, the children's mother stated that she would be coming to get the children (she was not supposed to get them back until July 2007). She arrived at the airport last Friday and asked my sister-in-law to bring her children, which my sister in law did. For whatever reason, my sister in law didn't believe that she was coming but she did! Now it is 4 months before my wedding and I don't have a ring bearer or flower girl! I just don't know what to do!! I don't have any young neices or nephews that I could ask. FH has a younger nephew, but he is dragging his feet on asking the child's mother. Would you ladies have other alternatives or ideas that we may be able to incorporate at this stage of the game. I am close to tears and don't know what to do. Help!

Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37

alvinslove
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Re: Just when you think....

Sorry to hear that Rhonda....but maybe you can have all or one of the bridesmaids drop the flowers. Since they are already there all you would have to do is get a few baskets. Keep your maid/matron of honor with a bouquet.That will cut the cost of flowers for your wedding.

Another idea on short notice is to have like a cone favor box full of flowers at the end of each pew in th aisle. The person who is sitting on the end can toss the flowers on the floor just as you are walking in past them. In this case you will only be spending a few dollars on the favor boxes and a card that tell the person wha is to be done.Or have your usher tell each person sitting at the end of the pew to toss the flowers.

Another idea is to have the flowers already down there. As you decorate the church have them put the flowers down last so that everybody isnt walking all over them and rope off the aisle.

daughterrhonda
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Re: Just when you think....

Awesome Allies! When you are all emotional, you can't think clearly. Thank you for your input. This situation has just been released into God's hands. It will be what it will. I think one of the other brides on the site is having a similar issue. I think I will go with the person sitting on the end pew seats to drop the rose petals. Thanks again!!!! I feel so much better.

Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37

threjolyn
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Re: Just when you think....

DO YOU HAVE A FRIEND WITH A CHILDREN AROUND THE SAME SIZE HAS YOUR NIECE AND NEPHEW?

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ieasha
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Re: Just when you think....

Boy Alvin's sweetheart, those were some great ideas! Man you were on point!

Each One Teach One!

daughterrhonda
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Re: Just when you think....

[quote="threjolyn"]DO YOU HAVE A FRIEND WITH A CHILDREN AROUND THE SAME SIZE HAS YOUR NIECE AND NEPHEW?
[/quote]

The only friend that I have that has a child that age belongs to my church. I have not invited my home church family because I can't afford to have them come (an additional 200 folks). I don't want anyone to be offended by asking some and not others, so I have informed them that I will be having a "private ceremony". If I invite that friend because I want her daughter to be in my wedding, it may cause problems that I don't want to deal with.

Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37

alvinslove
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Re: Just when you think....

I've been on vacation since Friday and I've been doing nothing but thinking of the wedding. I had those ideas for myself as back up in case FH doesnt make up with his family soon (that will be a venting point soon). I have alot more stored away just let me know the problem and I can try to find a good solution. I have to have yall back cuz I know yall got mine!

daughterrhonda
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Re: Just when you think....

[quote="alvinslove"]I've been on vacation since Friday and I've been doing nothing but thinking of the wedding. I had those ideas for myself as back up in case FH doesnt make up with his family soon (that will be a venting point soon). I have alot more stored away just let me know the problem and I can try to find a good solution. I have to have yall back cuz I know yall got mine!
[/quote]

Thank you love ya Allies -- and yes we have your back!

Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37

alvinslove
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Re: Just when you think....

Love you too Rhonda gyrl.......

daughterrhonda
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Re: Just when you think....

I think about my wedding all the time too. I am trying to get everything finalized by the end of August. I feel like I can't relax. FH is just going on like it's nothing -- LOL!! Maybe I should get his attitude.

Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37

purebliss
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Re: Just when you think....

Rony, do you have any co-workers that may be attending that has children that could possibly stand in? As for the friend at your church, it's ok to just invite her and not others from your church. Everyone at my church will not receive an invite and that's because I can't afford to have all of them there and because we are all not that close. I think it's tme out for people to be getting upset about these type situations when they are not footing the bill. My parents looked at my guest list and scratched off some of the names of our church members because they said that I should not invite people because their feelings would get hurt if I didn't. they said they are footing the bill and they want to feed those that are genuinely happy for us and not just there to be nosey. Long story short, invite who you want and don't worry about the others.

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daughterrhonda
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Re: Just when you think....

I will look into that PB&J as far as co-workers. I have one co-worker that I am close with. I may consider inviting this one friend at my church it is worth thinking about. Thanks.

Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37

bride2be805
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Re: Just when you think....

Roni, what is your relationship with children's mother? Even though they went back to live with her, is it not possible for them to still be a part of your wedding? It wouldn't hurt to ask. All she could say is no.

*If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*

daughterrhonda
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Re: Just when you think....

[quote="bride2be805"]Roni, what is your relationship with children's mother? Even though they went back to live with her, is it not possible for them to still be a part of your wedding? It wouldn't hurt to ask. All she could say is no.
[/quote]

I would say we get along fine. She is closer to my sister though. I've never had a problem with her. I will give her a call this weekend and see what she says.

Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37

platinumstyle
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Re: Just when you think....

Rony,you should call the children's mother.She might just say "yes".If she says no,I like Allie's idea about the BM's with the flowers.

Born Blessed!

daughterrhonda
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Re: Just when you think....

[quote="platinumstyle"]Rony,you should call the children's mother.She might just say "yes".If she says no,I like Allie's idea about the BM's with the flowers.
[/quote]

Thank you Platinum, I will give her a call tomorrow. I will be overjoyed if she says yes. But in the event she says no, I have another plan in the works...........

Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37

futuremslee
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Re: Just when you think....

[quote="alvinslove"]
Another idea on short notice is to have like a cone favor box full of flowers at the end of each pew in th aisle. The person who is sitting on the end can toss the flowers on the floor just as you are walking in past them. In this case you will only be spending a few dollars on the favor boxes and a card that tell the person wha is to be done.Or have your usher tell each person sitting at the end of the pew to toss the flowers.

[/quote]

That is such an excellent idea Allie! I saw the cone flower thingies on the DIY network and I went to the website and downloaded the template. Rhony if you're interested in the cone thingie here is the template:

http://images.scrippsweb.com/DIY/2005/02/04/dhti105_petalcone_favorbox.pdf

Directions complete w/ pictures of finished project:
http://www.diynetwork.com/diy/cr_wedding/article/0,2025,DIY_13783_3523436,00.html

[quote="bride2be805"]Roni, what is your relationship with children's mother? Even though they went back to live with her, is it not possible for them to still be a part of your wedding? It wouldn't hurt to ask. All she could say is no.
[/quote]

I was thinking this exact same thing! Good luck to you Rhony!

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way. ~ Pablo Neruda

daughterrhonda
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Re: Just when you think....

Thanks for all of your advice ladies! You are the best group to have in your corner when you are in the middle of an emotional crisis -- LOL!!!! Anyway, here's the update. I called the children's mother this weekend and she said that the children could be in the wedding, but that I would have to pay for three round-trip airline tickets for her and the children along with their attire. As much as I would like for the children to be in my wedding, I simply cannot afford that. Here's the solution that I came up with: One of my bridesmaids has a son and daughter age 11 and 12. They are tiny for their age and she has agreed to let them be my ring bearer and flower girl. I will have to pay for their clothes, but it is cheaper than buying airline tickets as well. So while I have an unexpected expenditure, it is definitely worth it. All ends well! Thanks again ladies.

Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37

septbride
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Re: Just when you think....

Ronnie I am so happy to hear that! The mother should've known better than to ask for all of that. I mean you're getting married, where do you have extra money for 3 rd trip airline tickets? Was she smoking something when you called her?

daughterrhonda
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Re: Just when you think....

[quote="SeptBride"]Ronnie I am so happy to hear that! The mother should've known better than to ask for all of that. I mean you're getting married, where do you have extra money for 3 rd trip airline tickets? Was she smoking something when you called her?
[/quote]

Girl she must have been smoking and drinking -- LOL!!!! The nerve.

Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37

ieasha
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Re: Just when you think....

Nah Rhonda, I think you dialed the wrong number! Someone had to be playing an ugly prank on you man!

Each One Teach One!

daughterrhonda
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Re: Just when you think....

I think so Ieasha, but I got the last laugh!!!!!

Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37

futuremslee
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Re: Just when you think....

GIIIRL RHONY... those poor children missing auntie rhony's wedding and being forced to live with their crazy ass momma. She was either heavily medicated and talking out of her head or heavily medicated with some of those *ahem* illegal pharmaceuticals. She was crazy for asking you to do that AND in thinking she would get it. She was out of her damn mind. Before you hung up you should have told that chick not to mix her meds with alcohol. *kick* stupid lady.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way. ~ Pablo Neruda

daughterrhonda
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Re: Just when you think....

[quote="FutureMsLee"]GIIIRL RHONY... those poor children missing auntie rhony's wedding and being forced to live with their crazy ass momma. She was either heavily medicated and talking out of her head or heavily medicated with some of those *ahem* illegal pharmaceuticals. She was crazy for asking you to do that AND in thinking she would get it. She was out of her damn mind. Before you hung up you should have told that chick not to mix her meds with alcohol. *kick* stupid lady.
[/quote]

HAAAAAAAAA! I feel terrible that the kids won't be able to make the wedding, personally I think she's trying to get back at the children's father (my nephew) by not letting them attend. She knew I would never agree to her conditions. They are just so adorable! I will still be sending them the gifts I had for them because they are personalized. But their mother is out of her ever loving mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37

alvinslove
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Re: Just when you think....

Yes she is.But I'm glad that you found a replacement...