Once again I am turning to the sisterhood for help in this particular situation. One of my family members (immediate) has a drinking problem. My challenge is I didn't realize that it was so bad. He is on the verge of losing his job and his wife because of it. He has a small part in my wedding. I was speaking with my Mom about it because I was thinking about asking him not to be involved unless he gets himself together. My wedding is a little over 4 months away and I don't want to have any unnecessary problems. I know that this will hurt him and will probably change our relationship. I think once I ask him to not be involved, he will get angry and not talk to me anymore. It is not my intent to hurt him, but I don't want him showing up intoxicated on my wedding day. This person is very dear to me, any advice you can give would be greatly appreciated.
Once again I am turning to the sisterhood for help in this particular situation. One of my family members (immediate) has a drinking problem. My challenge is I didn't realize that it was so bad. He is on the verge of losing his job and his wife because of it. He has a small part in my wedding. I was speaking with my Mom about it because I was thinking about asking him not to be involved unless he gets himself together. My wedding is a little over 4 months away and I don't want to have any unnecessary problems. I know that this will hurt him and will probably change our relationship. I think once I ask him to not be involved, he will get angry and not talk to me anymore. It is not my intent to hurt him, but I don't want him showing up intoxicated on my wedding day. This person is very dear to me, any advice you can give would be greatly appreciated.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Approach in with love. Express how it make you feel when he's in an intoxicated state of being. Tell him what he's doing to himself, and let him know that you don't want to lose him. All with love and no accusations.
Living my life like it's GOLDEN!!
I am so sorry Roni because I know this is a tough situation for you. I agree with niquey on how you should approach him.
My two cents.....You MUST talk to him and tell him that he has a problem, and you want your wedding day to be happy. Let him know how UNhappy you will be to see him like that on your wedding day.
Yes, he may be pissed off at you for a while, because when people are caught up in their addictions, they can't see the reality of some things. When he finally does get it together (and we'll pray that he does), he will understand where you were coming from.
You know how when we were children and teenagers, we would get pissed at our parents and other adults for reprimanding us? But now that we are adults ourselves, we understand why they did what they did, and we love and respect them for it. It's kind of the same situation. It's called tough love!
*If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
I am so emotional right now. Thank you so much Niquey and B2B for your advice. I must confront him and put it all on the line. "All with love and no accusations and tough love" is what I must do. I know in life we must have difficult conversations with those we love, and I guess I must gather the strength to do what must be done. Keep us in your prayers ladies!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Rhony, the ladies gave you great advise. I agree. Talk with him and tell him you will not have him drunk before or during your wedding and reception. If he cannot give you his word that he will be sober, then let him know that he cannot be a part of it. Also, let him know if you even think that he's intoxicated, you're going to ask him to leave and if he refuse, you will have him removed because nothing will mess up your day.
Thank you Askalot!! So glad you are feeling better. You ladies are the best I appreciate you all so very much!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Great advice was given. Good luck and be strong.
God is good all the time and all the time God is good