So this girl that I worked with at my last job and I became close. I got her a "honeymoon" night gown. She came to work on Monday and said she was getting married that Saturday. When she got married I was so happy for her and supportive. I didn't say well why are you getting married this weekend, why don't you plan a big wedding, blah, blah, blah....
Before FH asked me to marry him I would look on wedding websites at stuff saying that is what I wanted when I get married. She used to laugh at me and tell me I was crazy. (She was married by this time.)
So the Monday after he proposed I came back to work and showed her my ring. She was like "oh" and turned her nose up at me! (I ignored her.) I was hurt because I thought she was "my girl".
Then I started to tell her about the things we were planning. Like a destination wedding. I asked her if she was going to come and she said she was going to have to see. Once she stated how people are not going to pay to go to the wedding, because it is too far away.
About a month ago she told me that she and her husband are going to renew their vows in a few years because his mom wants them to have a big church wedding. She asked me would I be her maid of honor because she wants me to help her plan. I told her I could help her plan.
So today I sent her an email asking her did she look at any websites. She said no but she had spoken to her husband and he said he wanted to get married on an island somewhere and that if family and friends want to go then they can pay for it. When I read that I was boiling! That is exactly what I said! Why was it so horrible for us to do and not them!
I emailed her back and said that's what me and FH are doing so that sounds nice to me. Her response was where are you going? Am I wrong for how I feel. Please be honest with me.
So this girl that I worked with at my last job and I became close. I got her a "honeymoon" night gown. She came to work on Monday and said she was getting married that Saturday. When she got married I was so happy for her and supportive. I didn't say well why are you getting married this weekend, why don't you plan a big wedding, blah, blah, blah....
Before FH asked me to marry him I would look on wedding websites at stuff saying that is what I wanted when I get married. She used to laugh at me and tell me I was crazy. (She was married by this time.)
So the Monday after he proposed I came back to work and showed her my ring. She was like "oh" and turned her nose up at me! (I ignored her.) I was hurt because I thought she was "my girl".
Then I started to tell her about the things we were planning. Like a destination wedding. I asked her if she was going to come and she said she was going to have to see. Once she stated how people are not going to pay to go to the wedding, because it is too far away.
About a month ago she told me that she and her husband are going to renew their vows in a few years because his mom wants them to have a big church wedding. She asked me would I be her maid of honor because she wants me to help her plan. I told her I could help her plan.
So today I sent her an email asking her did she look at any websites. She said no but she had spoken to her husband and he said he wanted to get married on an island somewhere and that if family and friends want to go then they can pay for it. When I read that I was boiling! That is exactly what I said! Why was it so horrible for us to do and not them!
I emailed her back and said that's what me and FH are doing so that sounds nice to me. Her response was where are you going? Am I wrong for how I feel. Please be honest with me.
I can understand you being upset. There is a line between borrowing an idea and completely copying it. She might not realize that she did.
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"To be a christian without prayer is no more possible than being alive without breathing" - Dr King Jr
DWBRIDE First off let me start off by saying HELLO! & I am from Va as well lol..BUT girl I Know how you feel.. My cousin has kind of done the same thing to me. I am getting married in July and I asked her if she would be in the wedding and everything the first thing she asks me was if i was pregnant I didn't take offense to it at the time so time progressed and I was going to get married down here & i told her in march of this year and she was saying well she wasn't coming that's to far & i'm originally from ohio which is 8hrs away which is where she is at so I said we are family and you would do me like that..But anyway I have decided to get married in Ohio b/c a majority of my family is there so sista thang said she would come now but so i haven't heard from her in 3 months come to find out she lied on me talkin about she's not going to be in my wedding anymore over somethin stupid & i think it's because her live in boyfriend won't commit.But anyway I think you should ask your co-worker(i say that b/c true supportive friends don't act like that) Why she would have the reaction she did when you told her your plans but now she wants to do it & also I just say don't even trip about it b/c in this process you will find you is for you and you is against you! & DOn't feel bad b/c you are not wrong at all
It is quite apparent that she is a little envious. Maybe you should hold off with telling her your idea's until after your wedding is over.
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DWBride, I KNOW exactly what you mean. It's hard when people shart to show their jealous side. I mean, I can't understand it. You would think that a "friend" would show some support. NO you aren't wrong for feeling how you do. I agree with HW147: hold off with telling her too much more about your plans, esp. if she's gonna up and take them. Ladies, we are all excited about our upcomming nuptuals, (or for the MRS. out there still basking!) so it's natural to want to share...It's just upsetting that some can't share our happiness. Especially those with underlying jealousy issues. Sad really.
Keep us posted.
I wouldn't be mad at her because she copied, I would kind of get the big head a little knowing she copied me (But thats me....). It is kind of flattering. When its all said and done, you did it first right? And it will always be that she copied you. In this wedding business, it is very rare that you find a wedding that is 100% original and thats okay. Shoot, I am even here taking notes from my vibride sistas cause a good idea is a good idea:) And plus, I can't help that these ladies are creative and talented and I got the recessive gene in that department.
My point is this. She may not even do it, and could just be running her mouth. Feel sorry for her. After you become the Mrs. It will not even matter, nor will this person, because you will be wifey. I know you're upset, but many people will even go to your wedding with a notepad and a camera phone. She is obviously jealous of you and of course she will never admit to this, but as smart women we must learn to discern between jealousy. A real woman (and she isn't) would say, hey, thats a good idea, is it okay if I do the same? We do it here all the time. Feel sorry for her, but remember to keep your cool sweetie:) It'll be okay.
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
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[quote="housewife147"]It is quite apparent that she is a little envious. Maybe you should hold off with telling her your idea's until after your wedding is over.
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My thoughts exactly!!!!!! Let me tell you some women can be like that. A good friend of mine went with me to pick out living room sets. I picked out a set I really liked and girlfriend claimed she didn't like it. Well when I went to her house, she had the exact same living room set I had chosen -- she went and bought the same set -- how tacky is that! Needless to say, I pretended that it didn't bother me. The good thing is I hadn't ordered that set, so I had time to change my mind. When girlfriend came to my house and I had a completely different set, she was mad!!!! Can you imagine? I promised myself then that I would keep my business to myself -- let me tell you I try and live by that. This particular friend was supposed to be my girl, but I learned that lesson quite well. Don't tell everything.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
Thank you ladies for your honesty.
Aija~ I hope she doesn't realize and she is not just being competitive. I don't like to compete.
CeCe~ Did you ever find out what was going on with your cousin?
Housewife & Ms. Boston~ I agree with you both about not telling her any(more) of my plans. When she asked me where we are going I told her "We are going to Jamaica", and that's it.
Bumble~ My fh said almost the same thing you said. He told me I should be flattered that someone wants to do what I am doing. I understand that people will take pictures and ideas while at my wedding for themselves, I don't mind that at all. I just don't like that she put the idea down and is now thinking about doing the same thing. If she would not have shot it down, I would not care.
Empress Rhony~ I would have loved to see the look on your "friend's" face when she saw your new furniture! LOL!
DWBRIDE SAD TO SAY I STILL DON"T KNOW WHAT"S GOIN ON WITH MY COUSIN. But I'm going to celebrate my day just as good with or without her!!
I would have loved to see Rhony's "friend" too when she saw the different furniture:)
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
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[quote="housewife147"]It is quite apparent that she is a little envious. Maybe you should hold off with telling her your idea's until after your wedding is over.
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I totally Agree with your statement housewife
[quote="Bumblebeekee"]I would have loved to see Rhony's "friend" too when she saw the different furniture:)
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Let's just say that girlfriend couldn't pick her face up off the floor -- definitely a Kodak moment -- LOL!!!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37