I'm the mother of the bride, My husband and I are paying for the reception and the wedding. WHY is the future MOL wanting to go view locations for the reception. WHY should she care, she's not paying for it ?
I'm the mother of the bride, My husband and I are paying for the reception and the wedding. WHY is the future MOL wanting to go view locations for the reception. WHY should she care, she's not paying for it ?
Yeah I am guessing that your are right Cinny. She is just excited and want to be a part in the planning aspect of the wedding. My fh and myself are planning our own wedding, however if I see something I like I email it to my mother, and when I found a wedding dress that I really liked I waited until my mother came up here from Georgia and we all went to the bridal salon( mother, mother in law, and myself).They are just excited about there children getting married and they want to be a part of it.
Relax Msjena, that's a perfectly normal thing for a MIL to be involved in the planning whether she's paying or not. Just be glad that she's excited that her son is marrying your daughter, it could be worse. It sounds like she just wants to be involved. My MIL went along with me, my mom, and grandmother to dress shop and it was fun.
I'm sorry ladies, I understand msjena. lol Not about the part about caring though. MsJena, why don't you do this, when you're about to go visit a location, invite her to come along with you. Or, while she's looking at spots, you can be doing something else. When she comes back with her "report", you can find out if the place is in your price range or look it up online. Then, you can decide if you would consider the place. What do you think about that?
Ms. Jena, one thing to remember is that her son is also getting married. She most likely wants to feel like she helped to make the day beautiful. unless she has completely inappropriate comments, it would be nice to include her every once in a while.
My MIL let us choose the site but just wanted to make sure that it had handicap access. Alot of his older relatives have walkers or wheelchairs.
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"To be a christian without prayer is no more possible than being alive without breathing" - Dr King Jr
well maybe I should provide some background. My Husband and I are on a budget and my daughter knows that. I want her wedding to be classy and elegant. The MIL is one of those over the top "Fru Fru" people that thinks that everthing should be better than the Jones'. Well her intentions were initially to help out with the financing but if she could choose the place (because she wants her son's wedding to be better than a friend of hers).. my daughter didn't like the place so that was that. She didn't offer to help with the finances anymore.. Now when it was time to go view locations that my daughter and I had choosen (withing our budget).. she wants to go see. I just think that she's only wanting to be a part of the planning for the wrong reasons. She has something negative to say about some of my daughter's choices for her wedding, but she does it with a SMILE on her face.. and my daughter doesn't want to hurt her feelings by telling her that it's her wedding and she gets to make the final decisions,...
Welcome to Vibride, msjena64! You have yourself the classic In-Law drama! Why not let her pay for the reception. Ask her snooty butt. She may just want to. You guys can use the saved money and make the ceremony look a dream for your baby girl. Or even give them the money saved as a down payment on a house of furniture for their home together. So many alternatives.
I admire you for paying for your daughter's wedding. Not many couples get help these days -- even when their parents can afford it!
Maybe you and your daughter shouldnt tell her when you are going to look a diffrent locations. You two should just go by yourself and when you find a sight that you like then just tell her where the location. If she ask about how the planning is going just tell her you are still looking.
Now, Everyone gave great advice, but I must warn you, I am the rebel of this group, which is why I always ask for prayer when I give this kind of advice. I believe in being upfront. Tell her point blank this is their wedding and if she does nt have anything useful to add, BACK UP... IT WILL NOT BE HER WAY. IT IS NOT HER DAY. Do nt allow this woman with her own issues to make this a negative experience for your baby. Tactfully explain while she is more than welcome to be apart of, know when to backup. She is lucky to have your daughter and nt me!! Now as usual, I'm asking y'all to pray for me you know I'm a work in progress.
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GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME; ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD. WHEN IN DOUBT, PRAY
Taj you really are a trip. What would we do without you?
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"To be a christian without prayer is no more possible than being alive without breathing" - Dr King Jr
Wow, MsJena I didn't know it was like that! I think that because it's your daughter's wedding that she should be the one to decide if she comes along or not. If she goes and doesn't like what you guys pick then ask her if she's willing to pay for something better that meets her satisfaction. If not then always stick to your guns no matter what her opinion is, it's your baby's wedding and she should do it her way. It sounds like there's some tension between you guys but please don't have your daughter stressing out over trying to please you and her mil.
[quote="msjena64"]I think we have the issue resolved because my daughter has now decided to have the wedding in another state.. !! Thanks for all the advice folks
[/quote]
Why did she decide to switch states? And which state did she decide on?
[quote="SeptBride"]I think we have the issue resolved because my daughter has now decided to have the wedding in another state.. !! Thanks for all the advice folks
Why did she decide to switch states? And which state did she decide on?
[/quote]
she decided (with a little persuasion from me ) to move the wedding to Arkansas. That's our hometown and all our family and friends are there. The reasoning is that it's WAYYYY cheaper than Dallas (that's where we live now) and with the money we have budgeted for the wedding she would have a Okay wedding in Dallas, but she'd have "The Bomb" wedding in Arkansas. Besides my brother has agreed to give her as a wedding present the use of a really nice restaurant for the reception (he's the general manager ) and we just pay for the catering provided by the restaurant.. Here's the link to Take a look at the place, ....click on take the tour..
http://www.aydelottes.net/..
oh and she can get married at our home church .. We're saving money on the reception and the church
[quote="SeptBride"]Oh, that's great reasonsing. I was hoping she was running from the FMIL. LOL Anyway, that restaurant looks very, very cozy! :-)
[/quote]
in a round about way I guess you could say,, WE ARE !!!!! LOL
I'm the mother of the bride, My husband and I are paying for the reception and the wedding. WHY is the future MOL wanting to go view locations for the reception. WHY should she care, she's not paying for it ?
I suppose she wants to be involved in some way.
I'm a married woman as of December 2, 2006.
Delight yourself also in the Lord & He shall give you all the desires of your heart.-Psalm 37:4
Yeah I am guessing that your are right Cinny. She is just excited and want to be a part in the planning aspect of the wedding. My fh and myself are planning our own wedding, however if I see something I like I email it to my mother, and when I found a wedding dress that I really liked I waited until my mother came up here from Georgia and we all went to the bridal salon( mother, mother in law, and myself).They are just excited about there children getting married and they want to be a part of it.
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;17;90/st/20080718/e/Two+Hearts+Became+One%21/k/b47e/event.png[/img]
I agree, I don't think she means any harm. Just as long as the people who are paying along with the Bride and Groom have the final decision.
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
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Sorry for my ignorance but what's a MOL?
I believe she meant MIL-Mother In- Law
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Relax Msjena, that's a perfectly normal thing for a MIL to be involved in the planning whether she's paying or not. Just be glad that she's excited that her son is marrying your daughter, it could be worse. It sounds like she just wants to be involved. My MIL went along with me, my mom, and grandmother to dress shop and it was fun.
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;0;0/st/20061007/e/My+Wedding+Day/k/0104/event.png[/img]
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[quote="housewife147"]I believe she meant MIL-Mother In- Law
[/quote]
Oh. Duh. Thanks.
Hey there Ms. Jen, I'm sure she just wants to be involved -- time will tell if there is a hidden agenda. Good luck.
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
I'm sorry ladies, I understand msjena. lol Not about the part about caring though. MsJena, why don't you do this, when you're about to go visit a location, invite her to come along with you. Or, while she's looking at spots, you can be doing something else. When she comes back with her "report", you can find out if the place is in your price range or look it up online. Then, you can decide if you would consider the place. What do you think about that?
Ms. Jena, one thing to remember is that her son is also getting married. She most likely wants to feel like she helped to make the day beautiful. unless she has completely inappropriate comments, it would be nice to include her every once in a while.
My MIL let us choose the site but just wanted to make sure that it had handicap access. Alot of his older relatives have walkers or wheelchairs.
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;10100;96/st/20070818/e/our+wedding%21/k/9663/event.png[/img]
[/url]
"To be a christian without prayer is no more possible than being alive without breathing" - Dr King Jr
well maybe I should provide some background. My Husband and I are on a budget and my daughter knows that. I want her wedding to be classy and elegant. The MIL is one of those over the top "Fru Fru" people that thinks that everthing should be better than the Jones'. Well her intentions were initially to help out with the financing but if she could choose the place (because she wants her son's wedding to be better than a friend of hers).. my daughter didn't like the place so that was that. She didn't offer to help with the finances anymore.. Now when it was time to go view locations that my daughter and I had choosen (withing our budget).. she wants to go see. I just think that she's only wanting to be a part of the planning for the wrong reasons. She has something negative to say about some of my daughter's choices for her wedding, but she does it with a SMILE on her face.. and my daughter doesn't want to hurt her feelings by telling her that it's her wedding and she gets to make the final decisions,...
Perfect advice PB& J, askalot and ajia.
Welcome to Vibride, msjena64! You have yourself the classic In-Law drama! Why not let her pay for the reception. Ask her snooty butt. She may just want to. You guys can use the saved money and make the ceremony look a dream for your baby girl. Or even give them the money saved as a down payment on a house of furniture for their home together. So many alternatives.
I admire you for paying for your daughter's wedding. Not many couples get help these days -- even when their parents can afford it!
Get social and fan us on http://www.facebook.com/Vibrantbride] Facebook.
Maybe you and your daughter shouldnt tell her when you are going to look a diffrent locations. You two should just go by yourself and when you find a sight that you like then just tell her where the location. If she ask about how the planning is going just tell her you are still looking.
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;17;90/st/20080718/e/Two+Hearts+Became+One%21/k/b47e/event.png[/img]
Now, Everyone gave great advice, but I must warn you, I am the rebel of this group, which is why I always ask for prayer when I give this kind of advice. I believe in being upfront. Tell her point blank this is their wedding and if she does nt have anything useful to add, BACK UP... IT WILL NOT BE HER WAY. IT IS NOT HER DAY. Do nt allow this woman with her own issues to make this a negative experience for your baby. Tactfully explain while she is more than welcome to be apart of, know when to backup. She is lucky to have your daughter and nt me!! Now as usual, I'm asking y'all to pray for me you know I'm a work in progress.
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;10716;6/st/20070707/e/WEDDING+DAY/k/5779/event.png[/img]
[/url]
GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME; ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD. WHEN IN DOUBT, PRAY
Taj you really are a trip. What would we do without you?
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;10100;96/st/20070818/e/our+wedding%21/k/9663/event.png[/img]
[/url]
"To be a christian without prayer is no more possible than being alive without breathing" - Dr King Jr
[quote="ajiamarie"]Taj you really are a trip. What would we do without you?
[/quote]
Too funny TajMom, girl you are tooooo much!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
This is all good advice!
TAJ, we gotta love ya!
Wow, MsJena I didn't know it was like that! I think that because it's your daughter's wedding that she should be the one to decide if she comes along or not. If she goes and doesn't like what you guys pick then ask her if she's willing to pay for something better that meets her satisfaction. If not then always stick to your guns no matter what her opinion is, it's your baby's wedding and she should do it her way. It sounds like there's some tension between you guys but please don't have your daughter stressing out over trying to please you and her mil.
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;0;0/st/20061007/e/My+Wedding+Day/k/0104/event.png[/img]
[/url]
no, my daughter's day is not going to be ruined, nor will I let the MIL run anything unless my daughter wants her to..
I think we have the issue resolved because my daughter has now decided to have the wedding in another state.. !! Thanks for all the advice folks
You're welcomed my sister!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37
[quote="msjena64"]I think we have the issue resolved because my daughter has now decided to have the wedding in another state.. !! Thanks for all the advice folks
[/quote]
Why did she decide to switch states? And which state did she decide on?
Well thats good msjena its all working out. Keep us posted.
We've been Happily Married 2 Years and Counting:)
a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
[quote="SeptBride"]I think we have the issue resolved because my daughter has now decided to have the wedding in another state.. !! Thanks for all the advice folks
Why did she decide to switch states? And which state did she decide on?
[/quote]
she decided (with a little persuasion from me ) to move the wedding to Arkansas. That's our hometown and all our family and friends are there. The reasoning is that it's WAYYYY cheaper than Dallas (that's where we live now) and with the money we have budgeted for the wedding she would have a Okay wedding in Dallas, but she'd have "The Bomb" wedding in Arkansas. Besides my brother has agreed to give her as a wedding present the use of a really nice restaurant for the reception (he's the general manager ) and we just pay for the catering provided by the restaurant.. Here's the link to Take a look at the place, ....click on take the tour..
http://www.aydelottes.net/..
oh and she can get married at our home church .. We're saving money on the reception and the church
Oh, that's great reasonsing. I was hoping she was running from the FMIL. LOL Anyway, that restaurant looks very, very cozy! :-)
[quote="SeptBride"]Oh, that's great reasonsing. I was hoping she was running from the FMIL. LOL Anyway, that restaurant looks very, very cozy! :-)
[/quote]
in a round about way I guess you could say,, WE ARE !!!!! LOL
That's really cool, that she can save money and have The Bomb wedding in Arkansas! Good luck!
Delight yourself in The Lord & He will give you the desires of your heart!Ps 37